PTSD Military Chaplain of the Academy

The classroom was slightly bustling. The students’ gazes were directed towards their notebooks or their friends beside them who were engaged in conversation.

Among the students casually chatting with their friends, there were those reviewing Professor Antorelli’s classes from previous notes, and others hurriedly completing assignments for different subjects.

Laura von Adelheit belonged to the third category. The difference was that she had no sense of urgency at all.

As Laura smoothly wrote down the paper to be submitted as her assignment, she marveled at herself.

‘It’s easy… it’s just too easy…’

Thanks to Professor Antorelli’s class, Laura had shattered the wall that had been blocking her. It was as if wings had been given to her, who had already been called a genius in magic.

Laura’s eyes moved constantly. She could see the process of reinterpreting and analyzing the magic circle she calculated, fitting each piece together in a coherent manner. Had it always been this easy?

‘Absolutely not.’

While it had been easy before, there was an overwhelming difference compared to now. She had begun to penetrate the essence of the magic circles. She was simply grateful to Professor Antorelli.

As Laura quickly finished her assignment, Chloe, sitting in the middle row, stared blankly at Laura’s back.

‘…I wanted to be closer to her.’

At the beginning of the semester, she had wanted to get close to Laura von Adelheit so badly. However, now she felt little interest.

The only thing that caught her attention was one thing.

“Two minutes left….”

That was, of course, Professor Antorelli’s class.

Laura wasn’t the only one who had blossomed in her talents. Chloe had also reached a new level in her magical abilities, and just recently, she had reached an impressive third circle.

As time passed, Chloe barely managed to calm her lips, which had been curling up in excitement. Then she spoke to Elin, who was lying on her desk beside her.

“Elin. What kind of class do you think we’ll have today?”

“Well….”

Elin seemed completely uninterested, but Chloe knew the truth.

Once the class started, Elin would be the most passionate in focusing on it.

In the midst of their chatter, before they knew it, there was less than a minute left until class started.

As if collectively bewitched by magic, the students, who had been a bit noisy, quickly regained their silence.

Half of the students inside the classroom were looking at the clock, while the other half stared intently at the front door of the classroom. Chloe too glanced at the wall clock.

“Thirty seconds left….”

The sound of students pulling out their writing instruments could be heard. Some opened their notebooks or prepared their notes summarizing what they learned in the last class.

“Ten seconds….”

Students began to loosen their fingers. Given that Professor Antorelli’s classes were always busy with taking notes, it was wise to stretch their fingers beforehand.

“58 seconds. 59 seconds. Now….”

Just then, the clock hand indicating 9:29 a.m. leaped over a tiny interval.

Creak—.

Simultaneously, as usual, the front door of the classroom opened. The students’ gazes focused there.

“Ha…. Hah…!”

Entering through the classroom door was Sofia Sub-priest. With her golden bob hair swaying, she rushed onto the podium.

Professor Antorelli was nowhere to be seen. A look of bewilderment spread across the students’ faces.

“What’s going on? Is he late?”

“Come on, no way. It’s Professor Antorelli.”

“Am I seeing things? Why can’t I see him?”

“Maybe only good people can see him. I can see him.”

As the students murmured among themselves, Sofia Sub-priest picked up chalk and began to write large letters on the blackboard.

It said….

“…Class canceled?”

The students’ mouths dropped open, unable to close. Meanwhile, panting heavily, Sofia Sub-priest shouted out loud.

“Head Priest Antoinneri has suddenly taken sick leave, so today’s class is canceled! He said attendance points will be given, so see you all on Tuesday!”

Sofia Sub-priest, who spoke rapidly like a machine gun, left the classroom like the wind, leaving only students sitting dumbfounded with confused expressions.

“…Really?”

“Sick leave? Is he ill?”

“Wow… is this some kind of test? To see if we really leave the classroom or not?”

“No way.”

For a moment, the students, who had been murmuring, soon stood up from their seats one by one with skeptical expressions.

A few minutes later, only Chloe, Elin with a blank look, and Laura remained in the classroom until the end.

* * * * *

“Hmmm….”

Moritz smiled gently. In front of him sat a poor priest who came only once a month.

“Father Antorelli. You seem to be feeling much better.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes. Could you roll up your sleeve for a moment?”

Father Antorelli rolled up his sleeve. The scars on his right arm, exposed after pulling back the sleeve to his shoulder, were revealed.

Moritz adjusted his glasses and continued to explain, lightly pressing on his shoulder with his hand.

“If I press here… you didn’t have pain before, did you? It should hurt less now.”

“……”

“How does it feel?”

“It hurts a little.”

“It’s fine if you’re honest about the pain.”

“…It’s better than before.”

“Isn’t it? And if I press here….”

As Moritz lightly pressed the inside of the shoulder with his finger, Father Antorelli’s body shot up violently. It was the pain coursing through his whole body.

“Indeed….”

For a moment, as Moritz pressed firmly on Father Antorelli’s shoulder, he eventually returned to his seat and said.

“Your condition has improved, but that doesn’t mean you can be at ease.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

“And, um… don’t move only your left arm too much. If your right arm stiffens, it’ll hurt more. Make sure to use your right arm often. Pain is unavoidable.”

“…Understood.”

“Now, let’s see….”

Moritz put on his glasses and took out a pen. The speed at which he wrote the prescription was exceptional.

“I’ll prescribe painkillers again this time. You don’t need to take them after meals. Just take them whenever you feel pain. Two tablets at a time.”

“I…”

Father Antorelli hesitated, unsure whether to speak. Moritz wore a kind smile, waiting for him to continue.

After a moment of mumbling, Father Antorelli finally exhaled softly.

“Is it… okay if I drink alcohol?”

“Have you been drinking? Or do you plan to?”

“I had a little on Monday evening. And… if I go to an appointment this week, I might drink. Although I probably won’t go….”

“Hmm….”

Moritz thought for a moment. He didn’t want to encourage this young and unfortunate patient to drink. It was because he had frequently witnessed veterans falling into alcohol addiction.

“Excessive drinking isn’t good for even a healthy person. Father Antorelli. But a little drinking should be fine.”

“Won’t it affect my shoulder negatively?”

“Hmm… It shouldn’t cause inflammation. The wounds have healed long ago. However, excessive drinking is prohibited.”

“…Understood. Thank you.”

Father Antorelli slowly stood up. Moritz handed him the finished prescription.

“Thank you for your effort. I feel relieved knowing you’re improving little by little.”

Father Antorelli grasped the doorknob. Just as he was about to open the door and leave the consulting room, his hand turning the doorknob suddenly paused.

“…Doctor.”

“Did you call?”

Father Antorelli’s hand trembled slightly. After a moment of hesitation, he turned his body and approached Moritz.

“Do I… look pathetic?”

Moritz examined Father Antorelli’s face. He didn’t seem to be in good spirits.

“In fact, I received a letter a while ago. They are planning to hold a veterans’ gathering and asked me to please attend…”

“…Really?”

“Yes. But I… don’t know if I can fit in. Even if I say I’ll attend, who will welcome me?”

His dull eyes, slightly narrowed brows, and pale complexion expressed extreme sadness. Moritz looked at Father Antorelli with a bitter smile.

“Father Antorelli. Just remember this one thing.”

Father Antorelli’s empty eyes turned towards Moritz. Moritz met his gaze directly and continued in a strong tone.

“You are not worthless. No matter who they are, I doubt anyone would frown upon meeting you, Father Antorelli.”

So, please try to muster some courage at least once.

“…….”

Hearing Moritz’s words, Father Antorelli’s expression turned dazed. Then, his face began to contort strangely.

It looked like he was smiling, while at the same time, it seemed like he was crying, and somehow it looked as if he was angry. The trembling corners of his lips made it even harder to gauge his expression.

For a moment, Father Antorelli lost his expression, then he bowed his head and murmured to Moritz.

“…Thank you.”

“No, I hope my words are of help.”

“They have been a great help. Thank you.”

Father Antorelli grasped the doorknob again. This time there was no hesitation, and the consulting room door swung wide open.

“Thank you, Moritz.”

As Father Antorelli slowly walked out, he turned back. Moritz also faced him.

“Really, thank you.”

As he spoke those words while leaving, his face looked as if…

“…I see, Father Antorelli.”

So rarely, it seemed he was smiling.

Moritz smiled warmly, feeling relieved.

* * * * *

My steps felt a bit lighter. I quietly headed towards the dormitory.

Today was Friday. It was a class day, but the advanced medical consultation scheduled for the weekend was moved up, resulting in a canceled class.

Upon returning to the academy, I noticed the quiet courtyard, devoid of anyone wandering about. I decided to take the same path I took with Priest Peter on a walk, bypassing the main building corridor.

As I retraced the same path, conversations I had with Priest Peter began to come back to me vividly. I gently closed my eyes.

– At least, I know it’s not your fault, Head Priest Antoinneri.

“It’s not my fault….”

It was the first I had heard those words. Therefore, they were unfamiliar and hard to accept right away. I recalled the words he had said to me slowly.

– Judging sin is solely the Lord’s work.

“……”

A pang of sorrow gripped my heart. Because of that, I felt even more certain.

I opened my eyes that I had closed and hastened my footsteps towards the dormitory.

In the distance, the Seminary Main Chapel came into view. Without any thought, I intended to walk past it.

“…Huh?”

If I hadn’t just happened to run into Sofia Sub-priest exiting the chapel.

As I saw her and suddenly stopped, Sofia Sub-priest approached me with a bright smile. That innocent face felt like warm sunlight, causing me to inadvertently look away.

“Head Priest! How are you feeling? What did the doctor say?”

“…Sofia Sub-priest.”

“Yes!”

After calling for Sofia Sub-priest, I gazed at her for a while. Sofia Sub-priest, who was looking at me, tilted her head in confusion.

“Why do you call me? Is there something you want to say…?”

“Tomorrow, didn’t we agree to go out together?”

“Yes. That’s right! More importantly, you remembered!”

“Oh, of course. But, um….”

I found myself stuttering. My words got caught in my throat, and I couldn’t say what I wanted in the end.

“Yes?”

“Um… that… I mean….”

The innocent emerald eyes of Sofia Sub-priest looking at me were causing me pain.

“Head Priest?”

“I… I have an appointment on Sunday, you see….”

“Oh… but?”

Hoo—.

I took a deep breath. Suddenly, Moritz’s words came to my mind.

– Please try to muster some courage at least once.

After a moment’s hesitation, I finally managed to open my mouth.

“…About tomorrow. Tomorrow, I mean.”

So, what had been pressing on me, a frustrating and foolish thought, pushed me to speak.

“Please, make sure to present yourself in a way that won’t be embarrassing in front of others.”

The words of Priest Peter and the letter from Colonel Meijhem. Not anything else.

“…Of course! Don’t worry!”

Perhaps it was because of those emerald eyes that resembled hers.

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