Chapter 2: Whirlpool
The sun shining down on my face creates a warmth on my skin. It's a welcome sensation after the chill I was used to in the night, keeping every room passable in the facility meant heating wasn't really a priority. Still. As warm as the sun was, it could do nothing to dispel the sorrow in my heart.
Misery is not an altogether unknown emotion for me, but in a place filled with people, it seems to have grown stronger. Like every year before it, my birthday has its mind set on not letting me catch a break. It's almost a curse with the way something always finds a way to ruin it. And there I was hoping this year would be different.
In all honesty, the reason for the misery isn't so much as the people surrounding me, but what they are all examples of. A family. People who care about you and would love to spend the entire day celebrating the day you were born. It's bittersweet really. The warmth of watching children laughing with their fond parents brings a soft smile on my face, but the yearning lingers. I want that too.
I want a place where I belong. I want people who will stay beside me and never leave.
Will anyone come after me? It's a thought I hadn't considered until now. Will someone call the police, worried when they don't find me in bed? Do I even want them to?
Absolutely not. I settle on after moments of pondering the outcomes. The ache of not having anyone come after me pales in comparison at the hell that I've endured. Better to leave on my own terms than be thrown out on theirs.
Still. It would be nice if someone cared enough to try. Thoughts like this have been a constant for as long as I can remember, but they've seemed to grow stronger in the past year. They're always followed by a sting of emotion I can't quite place. It feels a lot like I imagine homesickness would if I had a home.
The soft material of my bag feels like concrete at my back, the padding turning to stone under the weight of my thoughts. The sand beneath my feet suddenly feeling hotter than it had moments ago. Oddly, the heat grounds me, even as my thoughts threaten to drown me.
My hands go to cover my face, hiding the tears that threaten to leak from my eyes. I don't need anyone noticing and coming up to me. The last thing I need is for someone to call the police out of concern. All that would do is put me in another empty home or worse.
Forcing myself to take calming breaths, I feel my heartbeat return to a steady rate. A shuddering breath escaping my mouth as the tears finally subside. I wipe away the remnants before forcing myself onto my feet.
There's no time to wallow in self-pity. It's my birthday and I'm at a beach. So, why should I surrender to misery when I can finally enjoy it instead? Determination blooms in my mind as I walk towards the edge of the waves. I'm just about to take of my shoes to feel its cooling touch on my feet, when the pleading yell reaches my ears.
“Help! Please! Someone stop him!”
Although the pleading in the voice is clearly recognisable, the frail woman who voices it doesn't have the strength to give it the strength it needs. It could have easily been lost in the crowd of voices around her. I can see some people turn to see what the commotion is about, but none of them seem to think it worth the effort.
I can't really blame them. Stopping a robbery isn't exactly safe, and with children to account for, it's not really worth the risk. That or they have too much faith that the police would miraculously be able to catch him.
My eyes pass over them in my search of the culprit. It's a man dressed in all black as he runs across into the parking lot. He's moving fast, enough so that by the time people register what's happening, he's already out of reach. The red purse clutched in his hand bright against the backdrop of his clothes. Why is he wearing black? In this heat?
Thoughts of his questionable fashion choices soon fade as my sense of justice takes over. It doesn't allow me to just ignore a cry for help. It's something that has gotten me in trouble countless times before. It probably will now too. It's always a risk I'm willing to take.
Reacting on instinct, I give chase. My legs moving without my awareness as my gaze zeroes in on his escaping figure. All thought fades as I scamper between people in my way before boiling after my target.
For a moment, I lose sight of him. A group of people blocking my sight as they make their way onto the beach. But, it doesn't take long for me to refocus. My eyes narrow as I once again search for him, locking onto his form the moment before he vaults over the fence to the carpark.
Following over, I only take a moment to brace myself, before using the metal netting of the fence to catapult my body over it as well. The solid panes of the fence narrowly miss ripping the bag I'm still wearing across my bag, but that doesn't stop me from landing firmly on the other side.
Taking a moment to steady myself as I stand up from the crouch I've landed in, I glance around to see all of the parking bays filled. My eyebrows furrow, a frustrated sigh leaving my mouth when I can't find the culprit among the cars. Even still, my eyes continue to search, moving around the carpark in hopes that I might be able to find him.
A shadow creeps by in the corner of my eye, making me turn around and search for the origin. Where could he be? It couldn't be anyone else, everyone else would have gone the other way to get to the beach or the shops that surround it. My footstep lead me to the edge of the carpark, coming to a stop as they near the brick wall facing me.
There's no one here. What could-
I don't get to finish that thought as a heavy weight lands on my back, making me tumble to the concrete floor beneath me. I hiss as the collision sends a tremor through my body, my bag falling to the side as my vision shakes from the force.
"Ouch." I have to blink a few times as the side of my face is squished against the floor. I can hear the way my words are distorted. "What the hell."
Suddenly, there is a warm breath at my ear, a hand pressing into my back to keep me in place. Black clothing coming into view in my periphery, the red bag tossed to the side as he tackles me.
“You shouldn’t have tried to play the hero girlie.” The thief in a dangerously low voice. It sends a uncomfortable shudder down my back, my instincts flaring at the implied threat.
“Oh yeah and what should I have done? Just let you steal that lady’s handbag,” The thought of doing nothing is even more repulsing.
“Yes.” He says in a flat tone.
“Well too bad." I mutter, even as I can feel him push me further into the ground in threat. "I'm not one to take orders from anyone. Especially incompetent assholes who steal from the vulnerable.”
"Incompetent?" It doesn't sound like a question from the way it's hissed.
"Why else would you dress up like a cartoon's idea of a thief." My mouth moves before my brain can stop it. It's always had a tendency to do that when I'm threatened.
“You’ve got a smart mouth.” He says sounding strangely amused, “Shut up.”
“No.” I snap back at him, “Get off me!”
“No can do, girl. If you won’t do what I say then I guess I’ll just have to teach you a lesson." He replies with sadistic amusement.
I hear the unmistakable slash of knife being pulled out. In his distraction to get it out, I move my arms from beneath me to reach for the handbag, throwing it with all the force I can muster towards his face. It's just enough for his hand to move off me to catch it.
Not letting a second pass, I flip onto my back so I'm facing him. He's pulls the bag back, but my leg is already coming up to kick him in the groin. He drops the handbag, his hands going to the effected area, stumbling back as he crouches over in pain.
The knife rushes past my face, but I carefully dodge it, one of my hands going up instinctively to catch it. I quickly pick up the handbag and my bag and turn to face him.
"Move." I grit out as I stare at his ashen face.
He growls, seemingly wanting to lash out at me for the cheek. Adrenaline courses through my veins as I kick his feet from under him and stab the knife into the area between his legs. It catches at material at his groin, sinking into the concrete and pinning him in place.
"You really should have listened." My voice lowers, my face scrunching up as my eyes narrow. I'm sick of people thinking they can just do what they want with no repercussions. Actions have consequences, and they'll always have a of catching up on you.
His face goes to the knife buried at his groin and back up at me. Face growing paler with the realisation of what could have happened. Luckily for him, I wasn't aiming for that.
"If I ever see you again. I'm not holding back." My eyes narrow onto him. "Do you understand?"
At his hesitant nod, I waste no time heading back to the beach. I'm not going to worry about him following him. The force with which I buried the knife means it's not easily going to come out. Not unless he wants to be charged with public indecency as well as theft.
Once back at the beach, I head straight towards the frail old woman. My arm going up to hold her purse out towards her. My heart is slowly going back to its normal rate. The adrenaline fading away as there's no longer a threat around.
A smile comes onto my face, my hand nudging the purse towards her, urging her to take it. With a hesitant smile and tears welling up in her blue eyes, she takes it.
"Thank you." She whispers once it's safely back in her arms. "I don't know how I could ever repay you."
"There's no need for repayment." I give her a lopsided smile. "It was the right thing to do."
"Even still." She moves her greying blonde hair out of her face. "Not many would have done it."
"Maybe they should then." They should stop being such bystanders.
The hesitance in her smile fades as a laugh leaves her mouth. It makes the wrinkles on the face look much less pronounced. She shakes her head, a fond undertone taking over her next smile. I don't move a muscle as she reaches out to pat my head. It's nice. Even if I'm not quite used to it.
"Perhaps. May I know your name?"
"Astriliana. But most people just call me Astri."
"Astri..." She whispers, a soft smile. "What a beautiful name."
"Thank you." I grin. I do get that at times, other people just find it strange.
Her head cocks to the side, as if a thought has just occurred to her. Her mouth opens and closes a couple of times, before she settles on what to say. "And your full name?"
My full name? Why is that important? I find it unusual that is her next question, but answer any way. "Johnson. It's Astriliana Johnson."
"Any middle -" She hesitates, likely understanding it's a very strange thing to fixate on.
I decide to take pity on her. "Celeste. My middle name is Celeste."
Her eyes widen, a peculiar look coming into them, like I might have just confirmed something for her. A smile once again sneaks onto her face, but this time, it sends a shilling sensation down my back. It might be a trick of the light, but it looks like her eyes have gotten lighter. The colour seems to spin as she mutters her next words."
“Don't try to change who you are. Your name is one that is important, a part of your identity that you cannot outrun. Have faith and face your destiny with open arms."
I don’t know how to reply to that. I can't. My instincts scream at me to get out of here. Suddenly, she doesn't seem so frail or as kind. As if another is now living in her skin. It makes me mutter a goodbye before sprinting towards the ocean.
When I turn around to see what she's doing, I see her bent over in a curtsy, her purse on the sand beneath her. The wind carries her next words as a whisper to my ears.
"Thank you, Princess. And good luck."
A loud noise catches my attention to the side and when I look back, she's nowhere to be found. My eyes wander across the sandy planes of the beach, but there's no sign of her. Where did she go? And why... I shake my head. The words aren't important.
It only takes a moment for me to walk back towards the waves again. My heart beat picking up as her words echo in the back of my head. I put my shoes in my bag and pull up my pants to feel the water on my legs and feet.
It feels nice. A calling balm after the chaos I've been through. A breeze picks up, blowing my hair back in several directions. The grumbling of my stomach interrupts my thoughts. My hands immediately go to cover it, even if it's unlikely anyone would be able to hear it over the sounds of the children.
My cheeks flush. I guess I should look around for something to eat. As I search, I discover that this beach has quite a few interesting things to discover. There's a cave in the far corner, that wouldn't be too bad of a place to sleep, with a clean pool that could be used for swims. It might just be for that purpose.
I ignore it for now. There are more pressing matters than caves right now. Like the hunger clawing at my stomach. I reach out to look at my wallet, but come to a stop as I feel the money. I rub my eyes, blinking my eyes, but the sight remains the same.
There's more money in it than there was before. Where- No. Don't think about it. I shake my head, forcing the thoughts to clear from my head. It doesn't matter where. What matters is what it means for me. I have more money for food.
My stomach growls once again to emphasise that point. That's that then. Worry about confusing things later, food first.
With the added money, I have enough to buy myself a decent lunch and a small cupcake. And a towel to sit on so I don't get sand on the packaging of the burger. It's really peaceful here.
I'm sitting in a private area, well as private as it can be on a public beach. It's at least isolated, so I can enjoy my food in quiet. As I drink my soft drink, my eyes watch the horizon, enjoying the peace while it lasts. I still have no clue where I'm going to go next.
Tomorrow. Think about it tomorrow. Enjoy the present for now.
The little voice in the back of my head coaxes me to stop worrying and I let it. A hum of appreciation leaves my mouth as I bite into the frosting of the red velvet cupcake. After all, what's a birthday without cake?
Once I'm full and the food is all gone. I lie on my back. It's so warm and I'm not feeling hungry. With my bag under my head, I can feel myself dozing off. Even if it's only for a couple of minutes. It's just so comfortable.
What's that sound? Why does my back feel wet?
My eyes blink open when a wet sensation makes its way into my clothes. What...I look down to see my feet are now partially submerged in the water and it has started to rain. Rain? What happened to the sun?
Immediately, I shove the towel in its bag before shoving that into my bag, pulling it onto my back. Something feels wrong. Adrenaline courses through my body, as if preparing for a fight. There's no one around anymore. The people I could see swimming in the ocean before are gone.
An eerie chill goes through my spine. What's going on? It couldn't have been more than hour since I went to sleep. How did the weather change so quickly. This can't be good. All the nerves in my body are screaming at me that something is very wrong.
In the distance, I hear a faint yell. It gets louder as the wind carries the echo towards me. A swirling sound catches my attention, making my eyes snap towards the ocean. There, in the middle of the water, the waves are caving in on themselves. It lets me know what's happening just as easily as the voice that reaches my ears.
"Whirlpool!" The lifeguard's voice carries over. "Everyone get out of the water!"
Screams erupt across the beach, people rushing out of the water immediately, dragging their family behind them. I can hear children crying as the distress on their parents' faces registers. All of them rush back into safety. But. My feet are stuck.
The loud whistling and calls to get to safety aren't going to do anything. Not against the waves that are slowly growing in power and spreading towards me as others wash over me, drenching me in water and carrying me into the heart of the trouble. Not when my feet are stuck.
I can't move. A rush of panic builds in my chest as I try and move my bare feet, but they're caught in the tide and I can't make them move. Someone get me out of here! I can't breathe.
It's too late. All I can hear is the swirling sound of doom as my body is swirled around by the rapids. My stomach turns in on itself as the realisation sinks in. I can't escape this. Not when it's so strong. It's foolish to think yourself stronger than nature itself.
But I just got out! The thought rings in my head, even as I'm being sucked into the heart of the whirlpool. I can't die like this. The water is suffocating me. My eyes blur as they sting from the impact. Through the blur, I can make out the faint outlines of people.
Are those corpses? No. They're talking. Or maybe that's just my mind hallucinating as it faces death. I struggle to keep my eyes open, several different things happen at once. One moment I'm struggling to breathe and the next there's a pull at my navel and I feel myself sinking.
Words interchange and connect into one as several different voices join as one and reverberate through my skull. Is that a fish? I can't tell. But I can certainly feel it when it goes right through me as if pushing me further into the abyss.
At least now, I know how Alice felt when she fell down the rabbit hole.