President, Our Egg Is Lost

Chapter Fifty-Nine: Fanwai – Chronicle of Taking The Bird on a Stroll; The newborn calf is not afraid of a tiger, the newborn chick is not afraid of a cat.

Cheng PaoPao was a healthy, lively, very regular chick. He ate more and more every day and was early to sleep and early to rise. He slept deeply and didn’t even wake up from thunder and when he was awake, he was full of spirit, especially able to play around crazily.

He ran really fast, ate fast, and grew fast. Although he had only hatched a week ago, Cheng PaoPao’s little body was blown up like a balloon, round and chubby. He was twice as big as he was when he hatched; he had become a fat little chick. However, because of his half spiritual beast bloodline and because he inherited his two daddies’ excellent athletic talent, his movements were still very agile. He was a nimble, fat little chick.

Just after dawn this morning, Cheng PaoPao, as usual, woke up before his two daddies. He looked up at the two people in bed who were sleeping deeply and sweetly, then rolled his little eyes in disdain.

His dad was particularly sleepy these past few days. In the morning, he would always sleep until the sun covered his butt and his father, to protect his little wife’s pride, would stay and sleep in a little later. Tsk tsk, too unprincipled.

Cheng PaoPao took a lap around the room and was really bored, so he used his little head to push open the unlocked door a crack and drill himself out through the crack, planning to go play like a chick in the courtyard.

As soon as he entered the yard, he happened to meet Father Cheng coming out of the house. He greeted him very nicely when he saw him, “PaoPao, morning.”

Because his son and male daughter-in-law talked to PaoPao as if he were a person, after a few days, Father Cheng had become used to it. Plus the chick was really smart and would react when someone talked to him, not making people feel like they were casting pearls before swine.

Cheng PaoPao liked his grandpa who usually wore an arrogant and unsmiling expression but was also particularly indulgent with him, so he waved his wings and responded, “Cheep, cheep cheep!”

Father Cheng laughed so hard crow’s feet appeared around his eyes and then he suddenly said whimsically, “PaoPao, Grandpa will take you to go for a stroll in the park, what do you think?”

Cheng PaoPao didn’t know what a “stroll” was, but he thought it was supposed to be a very interesting activity. There was nothing to do at home anyway, so he eagerly agreed, “Cheep!”

Father Cheng had raised a bird in recent years, so there was a birdcage hanging under the eaves, which was handy these days. He took the birdcage down, put some corn grain in the small bowl inside, added water, and put Cheng PaoPao into the cage.

Mother Cheng came out of the room just then and was surprised to see this situation. “Old man, what are you doing?”

Father Cheng said, “I’m taking PaoPao to stroll in the park. I’ll come back after no more than an hour.”

Mother Cheng listened and heard there was no movement in the west wing, so she whispered, “It’s okay to stroll, but PaoPao is the heart and soul of XiaoYu and TangTang, just like their own son. Don’t lose him or drop him somewhere. Otherwise you won’t be able to explain it to that couple.”

“You don’t have to say that, I know. PaoPao is pretty cute anyway, so if there’s an accident, I’ll feel bad.” Father Cheng swung his hand, saying, “Okay, let’s go.”

And then he hummed a little song and went out the door with the birdcage.

Cheng PaoPao had ridden in a car and had flown in a big plane, but this was the first time he had sat in a birdcage. He thought it was new and interesting, so he jumped around in the cage all along the way, turning and looking all around the enclosure, not wasting a moment.

Down the small street, they crossed another street and, soon after entering the park, Father Cheng went straight for the small grove he used to visit while taking his bird for a stroll. Before they even arrived, Cheng PaoPao heard a variety of birds chirping, twittering, and crying out, and suddenly he was overly excited, flapping his little wings and crying out “cheep cheep”.

Father Cheng said with a smile, “PaoPao, there are a lot of birds here, you can make a few friends in a bit.”

“Cheep cheep cheep!” Cheng PaoPao was looking forward to it.

Arriving at the grove, sure enough, they could see a lot of birdcages hanging high and low on the largest cypress tree in the middle. There were all kinds of colorful birds there and Cheng PaoPao was dazzled at the sight.

It hadn’t been long since he hatched and so he hadn’t encountered many birds in real life yet. So far, except for the crows he saw in FengLai Ridge just after hatching, there had only been the most common of sparrows. To suddenly see so many birds now, he really couldn’t have imagined it.

Father Cheng introduced him enthusiastically as he walked, “This is a starling, this is a thrush, those up there are some lovebirds, that down there is just a budgie……”

Cheng PaoPao was very happy, saying hello to the birds, “Cheep cheep, cheep cheep, cheep cheep!”

These birds were all cold and indifferent, one by one proudly holding their heads up. They all ignored him or they screamed at him trying to scare him.

Because he was spoiled by his two daddies and his grandparents, Cheng PaoPao felt both puzzled and wronged, why don’t they like me?

Realizing that Father Cheng had come over with a cage, the old men who kept birds came over to say hello.

“Yo, isn’t this Old Cheng? Long time no see. What wind blew you over here today?”

“Cheng LaoDi, have you brought a new breed of bird today? Hang it up and let everyone see!”

“Hey, is this a bird? It’s clearly a chicken. Or actually a chick that hatched just a few days ago, its feathers haven’t grown yet.”

“Hahaha, isn’t that right? I’ve seen all kinds of bird walkers, but today is the first time seeing a chicken walker. My eyes have really been opened!”

“Ho ho ho ho, this little chick is pretty fat. It looks like a good meal. LaoGe, are you planning to cook up a chicken mushroom stew in a few days?”

They burst out laughing.

Father Cheng was angry, replying with a livid expression, “You all don’t understand! This is no ordinary chicken. This is a particularly rare and very intelligent pheasant. He’s smarter than all your birds combined!”

The bunch of old men didn’t believe that at all, thinking he was just bragging, and one by one went along and started praising their own birds. One said his family’s starling can do arithmetic problems and one saying his family’s parrot can sing “Little Apple.” Another said his family’s magpies was more useful than a trained dog. In order to win the battle, each and every one argued until their faces went red.

Cheng PaoPao got dizzy from the loud words more than half of which he didn’t understand. But he could tell that the old men were probably like the birds they had raised, not liking him very much.

So he got even more depressed and didn’t want to stay here anymore. He just wanted to go home as soon as possible to find his own daddies. However, the surroundings were too loud, so when he cried out “cheep cheep” a few times, Father Cheng didn’t hear him.

Just then, a yellow-and-white striped feral cat crept up into the tree quietly and attacked a bird in a cage. When one mere swipe of his paw, he scratched the magpie, who was closest to the entrance, half to death. But the magpie was a little big and the railings of the cage were tight, so the feral cat couldn’t get it out, so he turned to the lark next to him.

The old men were quarreling under the tree, so no one noticed what was happening in the branches.

Cheng PaoPao could see it clearly and, all of a sudden, he puffed his fluff all the way out. After trembling for a while, he hardened his heart and pecked open the cage door with his little beak. He jumped up on the branch and ran up a bit, then yelled out “cheep cheep” at the cat.

He was also very afraid, because this one who looked as fierce as a tiger from TV was ten times his size, but his daddy had told him that a man can’t be terrified, a man had to face his difficulties, rise to the occasion, and never be a coward. So, though he was afraid of him, he couldn’t hide, he had to fight this guy!

The big feral cat was shocked at first, but it then realized that it was a chubby chick that was posturing against himself. It looked fatter and more delicious than any other bird, so saliva suddenly drooled out and he kneaded his sharp claws in the tree trunk. He slunk his body lower, ready to pounce on the big meal that came to his own door.

Finally, someone saw the chick and cat confrontation in the tree. He yelled, “Look, how did Old Cheng’s chick run up the tree? I’m afraid that it’ll be taken away by the cat!”

“Aiya, why is my magpie bleeding so much? Ah, ah, ah, it must been because of that damn cat!”

Father Cheng looked up and suddenly a little scared. He hurriedly stretched his arm towards Cheng PaoPao’s branch. Cheng PaoPao was relatively high, so his reach was 20 cm short. He quickly called, “PaoPao, come down, it’s too dangerous!”

PaoPao didn’t move from where he was, slightly spreading his small wings, his squinting eyes staring closely at the cat’s every move.

Although the old men didn’t think highly of the “fat little chicken” raised by Father Cheng and there had been some minor friction just now, at this time the cat was the enemy of all, so they rushed around under the tree, crying out to drive it away.

The feral cat stepped back a little bit in fear and climbed up to a higher branch. After a moment, he found that these two-legged beasts were just bluffing, not able to catch him at all. So he slipped back down along the trunk and then, without hesitation, jumped forward, pouncing towards Cheng PaoPao.

The old men suddenly let out sounds of lament and sympathy and the most soft-hearted among them even turned around, not able to bear watching the fat little chick’s blood splash on the spot or the tragic images of it being swallowed alive by the feral cat.

Father Cheng had turned to pick up a branch from a nearby flower bed to drive away the cat, so he almost had a heart attack when he turned back to this scene.

It’s all over, if PaoPao suddenly dies in this unexpected accident, how can I go back to my son and male daughter-in-law? Ah, ah, ah, ah, my wife will also kill me!

However, the thing everyone feared didn’t occur.

At the moment the cat jumped over, Cheng PaoPao slammed his little wings, half jumping, half flying to a branch higher overhead, letting the cat leap by empty-handed.

The cat was a bit clueless, looking around in a daze, so Cheng PaoPao suddenly jumped down again, falling partially on his head. His small claws gripped into the cat’s scalp and his little yellow beak pecked him hard in one of his eyes.

The cat let out a tragic yowl, shaking his head and whipping his tail in a desperate struggle, and then he fell off the branch with the chick, falling into the mud under the tree.

Cheng PaoPao wasn’t able to hold on and he rolled off the cat’s head to one side.

The feral cat got free of his grip and hurriedly jumped up and leaped. He ran away with one wounded eye and a scratched head and disappeared out of the grove in the blink of an eye.

The group of old men hadn’t expected such an ending. They looked at each other in astonishment, stunned for a long time.

Father Cheng was both shocked and worried. He stepped forward to pick Cheng PaoPao up out of the mud. He asked with a trembling voice, “PaoPao, are you okay?”

Dizzy, Cheng PaoPao shook his head in a little swing and, after a while, responded loudly, “Cheep cheep!”

Aiya, ??thank goodness! Father Cheng’s heart finally dropped out of his throat and he pressed a hard kiss to the chick’s little head.

The old men gathered together and gave Father Cheng a thumbs up.

“Cheng LaoGe, this fat little chicken you raised is really so fierce, just like adult cockfighter. Today was really an eye-opener!”

“Above average, it’s really above average!”

“This is the so-called ‘the newborn calf is not afraid of a tiger’; the newborn chick is not afraid of a cat.”

“Where was this chicken sold? I want to buy one too!”

“I want one too!”

Heh heh, I won’t tell you all. Father Cheng raised his eyebrows, then put Cheng PaoPao back into the birdcage, and shouted at the old men like a drill sergeant, “You all, excuse me, we’ll talk another day.”

Then he walked away carrying the birdcage, casting his sleeves about a little, not taking even a strand of cloud away.

(t/n: line from a poem, )

When he got home, he found his son, male daughter-in-law, and wife, in the courtyard waiting for him.

Mother Cheng approached and took the birdcage, scolding back over her shoulder, “Didn’t I say he’d be gone for at most an hour? It’s only been half an hour.”

His son and male daughter-in-law came forward to look at the chick, completely tense. Although she had been comforting them in her speech previously, saying that Cheng PaoPao had gone with his grandpa on a stroll through the park, she had also been very concerned deep down inside. Although he was just a pet, he really did have human characteristics and she had come to feel affection for him over the past few days.

Cheng YuTang saw that his son was safe and sound and let go of his worry. He smiled, “It’s okay, he came back fine.”

Mother Cheng took Cheng PaoPao out of the cage. She looked at him and frowned, saying, “What happened? Why is PaoPao so dirty, did you roll him in mud?”

Father Cheng had brushed Cheng PaoPao off, but the chick’s fluff was so soft and he hadn’t dared to use too much force, so he didn’t brush him clean. Hearing his wife ask this, he deliberately increased hyped it up, “He rolled around, but guess why was PaoPao rolling in the mud.”

Mother Cheng went along and asked happily, “Why?”

Curious, Ji XiaoYu also came over to listen.

Father Cheng told how he had made his way with his own Cheng PaoPao to the park’s grove, how, at first, the old bird walkers ignored PaoPao and laughed at him, how there was suddenly a murderous feral cat that was said to be very powerful that scratched a magpie., how to PaoPao stepped forward in the urgent situation and bravely and smartly fought the big cat, beating the crap out of him and how, in the end, the bird walkers praised PaoPao and said that he was a good-looking, powerful chick over and over.

Ji XiaoYu: “……”

Cheng YuTang: “……”

Mother Cheng also froze in fear. Although it sounded very nerve-wracking, she was mainly surprised by PaoPao’s super powerful combat ability. The young couple was terribly shocked, but fortunately nothing happened, otherwise!

The happiest reaction belonged to the chick, Cheng PaoPao, who flapped his little wings in a triumphant manner, “Cheep cheep, cheep cheep cheep!”

See how powerful I am, the number one fighting pheasant is none other than me!

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Footnotes:

1. Taking a bird on a stroll (遛鸟): common pastime for elderly Chinese (can be seen in dramas), they walk with the bird in a cage and then meet up and chat with their birds together

2. Sun hits your butt, a saying from parents to lecture their lazy kids for staying in bed too long, sleeping really, really late

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there he is, the most arrogant little pheasant chick to ever live! like father, like son~