Post-Apocalyptic Survivor in Another World: New Beginning

Chapter Sixteen: Booze Buyin’ N’ Face Punchin’



Joe watched with wonder as Sera immobilized the bandit, freezing him in place with apparently nothing but a stare, “It requires them to have their backs directly to me, after this, only I can release the spell, unless they have a countermeasure of course.”

“Lemme go!” The man screamed.

“How many spells do ya know?” Joe asked, approaching the man and drawing his knife, “I saw ya cast this one and summon water, but is that all ya know?”

He glanced back at her, seeing a smirk on her face, “I know about five in total, but I can’t tell you about one of them. It’s my special trick, if I need it one day I’ll show you.”

Joe impaled the man through the nape of his neck, and he collapsed to the dirt. The idea of learning magic had been something he’d been pondering lately. If there were people that could disable him the same way Sera could… he’d be screwed. Maybe she could teach him a counterspell to paralysis or something, that or some offensive spells of his own. There was still plenty of time left in the day, after all the sun was just beginning to rise over the plains. He looked over the remains of the camp he’d run Betty through, nodding to himself when he saw that none of the corpses attempted to rise.

This bandit camp was cleared now, this would be the third one they’d taken out this week, none of them had captives. According to some of the scumbags they questioned, travel on this road had dropped considerably as of late, likely due to their banditry. The caravans had all been taking the longer, safer route to reach Relias as a result, leaving pickings sparse. Joe and Sera would make this path safe again, it would just take some time. By now those other camps had likely gotten word that these others had been wiped out, but they wouldn’t know by what.

He and Sera never left survivors after all.

He wiped his blade clean on the man’s body, sheathing it before turning back to Sera, “Can you teach me magic?” He asked her, “I don’t want to get killed by spells like yours.”

Sera shook her head, “It isn’t something that can be taught.”

His shoulders slumped, “Is it something ya gotta be born with?” He asked her.

Again, she shook her head, “No, you need to find a Tome.” She explained, “After you find it, you have two options… you can either study properly from the book and learn the spell contained within over time, or you can learn it instantly by… hmm.” She paused, “I’m not sure how else to put this, but you can immediately learn the spell by… eating the book.”

Joe stared for a long while before approaching her, putting a hand on her shoulder before he said, “You screwing with me?”

“Not at all.” She said, “And just so you know, I do mean quite literally you have to eat it.”

Joe released his grip on her, looking up at the sky for a long while before he said, “That’s retarded.”

“It wouldn’t be slow at all actually-”

“No I mean, it's dumb.” He said flatly, “What the hell?”

This gave a whole new meaning to ‘readers digest’ if this was true. Why would he have to eat the book to learn the spell? How did Faenorans even find out that it was an option to do that? Someone had to eat the book first after all, so who had done it first?

“I’ve eaten one book myself, the one that allows me to summon water.” She told him, rubbing her jaw, “I was sore for weeks after that, I had to chop it up and eat it bit by bit, and all tomes are hardcover, so I had to chew through that as well.”

“Couldn’t you just… eat the pages?” He asked, “The knowledge ain’t in the cover.”

She sighed, “The whole Tome holds the magic required, if you don’t eat it all, the spell won’t be yours.”

“You have got to be kidding.” Joe said, pointing at her, “You’re messing with me again, you gotta be.”

“I am not!” She yelled indignantly, “That’s the shortcut every would-be mage can take to avoid learning it the old fashioned way.”

He turned away from her, crossing his arms, “Yer telling me that I gotta eat books to learn magic?” He huffed, shaking his head again.

It just didn’t make any sense! Was magic actually digestible? Did it get integrated with your body after consumption? Would that mean that these Tomes were biological, rather than magical? The parchment maybe, but the cover?

“No, it's an option.” She said with emphasis, “You can read from the book if you would rather, but the spell within cannot be cast unless you have a perfect understanding of how it would work. After that, the book will disappear, just like if you were to eat it.”

“You saying the book don’t come out the other end?” He asked her, turning to face her again.

“As soon as it hits your stomach that piece of the book disappears, but after that you must eat the whole thing, learning from it won’t be an option after your first bite.”

‘I’m just going to learn from em’.” He told her, “I can’t eat a book, I ain’t never been that hungry.”

That wasn’t totally true of course, starvation could make almost anything look desirable, but he didn’t think a book would have caught his eye, at least, not in that way.

“Well,” She said with a sigh, “You have to find one first. Nobody makes the tomes by the way, they simply materialize and drop wherever they appear. There could be dozens in this field and we wouldn’t even know it.”

“Oh, so now they appear out of thin air too.” He said with a groan, “I ain’t gonna go picking through all this grass for some magic, I’d be in my hundreds again before we found anything.”

“A lot of people do just that on a regular basis.” She told him, heading back toward the center of the ruined camp, “The spells contained within them can make a king out of a peasant, depending on the spell of course. Some spells are more utilitarian than others. There’s one I know of that you might be interested in, if you ever find it.”

He followed after her, “What might that be?”

“Mend.” She told him, “It can fix anything with just a touch, I can imagine that you’d be willing to eat that one.”

Well damn, maybe. If he could fix anything with just a touch, Betty and his gear would always be in top condition.

“Of course, the problem would be finding that particular Tome. They can appear anywhere without rhyme or reason, my people think that it is the Overseer sending down material from his own personal library for mortals to borrow, others think they are a natural phenomena. Frankly, books appearing from nowhere is far from natural, so I believe the former.”

“There a library for these things?” He asked her, “Not of the divine persuasion mind, something down here with us.”

Sera giggled, “Ah yes, a mortal library filled with Tomes, that anyone can just take as they please.” She said sarcastically, “Any such place would be selling them for a king’s ransom Joseph, not giving them out for free.”

“I never said it would be free.” He said, letting irritation creep into his tone, “I just said that we might find something.”

If there was such a place and he couldn’t afford the Tomes he wanted, he would just steal them. He’d pay back the owner one day of course, but his survival in this world as an Outworlder would eventually depend on the spells he learned. If people could paralyze him like Sera could, he’d be doomed.

“If we find anymore Tomes out on our adventures together, then how about we agree to split them?” She asked, “I’ve only found five Tomes in my whole life, if we find more I cannot just let them go lightly.”

He supposed that was fair, “Only if I get the first one we find, you can have the one after that and so on, deal?” He asked her, offering his hand.

Apparently she misunderstood his intention, for instead of clasping his hand, she instead rushed in for a hug, “It’s a deal!” She said excitedly, pulling away from him.

“What the hell was that all about?” He asked, “I was trying to shake yer hand.”

“Elves don’t make deals like that, we hug instead.” She told him, “It makes the agreement more binding that way.”

“Elves hug huh?” He asked, shaking his head, “I guess I shouldn’t be shocked.”

“Hmm?”

“Nothing, look lets just loot this place n’ get going, they got some barrels n’ chests I wanna go through.”

With that, he got to work, lifting lids and picking locks to find whatever may lay within. It ended up being quite the haul too, with one of the wooden chests half full with gold coins. Maybe he could afford a Tome with all this moolah, plus what he’d collected from the other camps of course. More valuable than that though, was the barrel with all the dried provisions in it. Mostly jerky of course, but this would have bought him a high-roller Zoner home back on Earth… not that he would have wanted to live in a Zone of course.

As the ramp lowered, he found himself agonizing over the dragon’s corpse. He had decided to leave it by the rim of the forest, as he had nothing to cut through its bones. Oh he’d been able to get some of the scales off, those were in his workshop right now, but he hadn’t been able to use them. He had to pry them off the carcass one by one, unable to sheer them off with his knife. He had hundreds of scales sitting in a bag, waiting to be threaded into his trenchcoat… if only he had a magical sewing needle that could puncture them.

He sighed as he rolled the barrel up into Betty’s workshop, turning his mind from the dragon scale. He was excited for the extra stores of food. He removed the gold from the chest, storing them in a duffel bag before shoving the sack under his workbench with the others. He wasn’t sure how much these coins would be able to buy him in civilization, but he had a feeling that it would be a lot. In fact… now that he thought of it.

“Sera,” He said, removing his helmet after Betty’s door was sealed, “Where’s the nearest town? I wanna see if I can buy anything with the cash we got from them bandits.”

She had been in the middle of inserting another disc into his DVD player, and she didn’t answer him until the disc was firmly in the tray, “Besides Relias?” She asked, “It would have to be Letsher, it's a sizable community a few miles west from here, the main road branches off toward it. If you want to go there, I suggest not bringing Betty along with us. It may raise a few eyebrows and we may not even be allowed inside.”

“Alrighty.” He said, “Do I speak Faesh well enough now that folk won’t look at me weird?”

“You’ve improved quite a bit, our lessons together have clearly stuck with you. However I’d still say that you should limit your words to what you know perfectly, at least as much as you can. If they question your accent, say that you’re from the Fog-Gates and you should be clear.”

“Sounds good, let's head there now-”

“You should also go without wearing your hood and helmet.” She said, “A hooded man trying to gain entrance while wearing a mask would draw attention we don’t want.”

Joseph grimaced, it was true, but the thought of having his head exposed like that to strangers didn’t sit right with him. He’d have his helmet off to get in, but after they were inside Letsher, he’d be putting it back on. If he got some weird looks then oh well, he’d just say he was a knight or something if they asked. He told this to Sera, who seemed to think that it would be strange but acceptable. He needed to claim one of the houses as his patron though, and besides the Pienturshulds he didn’t know of any others.

“Well, it would draw some more stares and maybe leave a bad impression about you, but you could just say that you are looking for a new house to serve.” Sera said, “Free knights around here are usually treated with suspicion, as most are simply bandits with shiny armor.”

“As long as I can keep wearing my gear I don’t care if folk don’t like me.” He said with a shrug, “I’d rather not have my head get popped with a bolt.”

“Fair enough.” She said, "If you're ready we can head out, but again we need to leave Betty somewhere where Letsher’s watchtowers can’t see it.”

Easy, he’d just leave it parked a few miles away. The plains were remarkably flat so it would need to be a significant distance, but he didn’t have a problem with going on a long walk. In fact he relished the thought, beside stepping out to finish off some bandits, he’d been cooped up in the Betty all week with Sera. She seemed ready to get going as well, based on how she was stretching her legs.

He followed her directions until they were close but not visible to Letsher, then parked. Joe double checked all his gear to make sure it was in top condition before the two of them set off toward Letsher. Oddly, Sera kept trying to walk faster than he did the entire way. Not to be outdone, he upped his speed whenever she passed him by, overtaking her with ease. She really shouldn’t be walking in front, she wasn’t wearing any armor whatsoever. Yet whenever he tried to take the lead, she would walk faster, a strange glint entering her eyes.

It wasn’t hard for him to overtake her with his longer legs, and eventually she gave up, huffing and puffing just behind him as they went. Had she tried to go any faster, she’d be jogging. With the impromptu competition over, they eased their paces to a casual stroll, conversing all the way up until they reached Letsher. It was a sizable town, he’d say, with high stone walls that stretched out far to either side.

An iron palisade lay shut, the cobbled road leading into the town. Two men with halberds and full plate-armor stood guard just outside the gate, with another man standing just within the gate next to a lever. The halberds caught Joe’s interest, a good weapon with great reach… maybe he should make his own? As they drew closer, Joe removed his helmet hesitantly, lowering his hood and letting Sera take the lead.

“Halt.” The guard said in a bored tone, “What is your business?”

“We’re looking to purchase goods.” Sera told them.

“An elf wanting to peruse our town eh?” The man asked, “Not often does your kind seek anything from us, we’ll be keeping tabs on you. You planning on staying overnight?”

Sera then turned back to Joe, who shook his head, “No, just here for the day.”

“Ah, so you’re in charge then. ”The guard’s eyes then found Joe’s, ”I assume it is the same for you? Which house do you serve?”

“I’m a free knight.” Joe replied, “I’m looking for a new master.”

The guard sneered at him, “You both may have entry, but we’ll be keeping an eye on you. Cause trouble ‘free knight’ and you’ll spend the rest of your natural life in the mines, we’ve had enough trouble from bandits as of late.” He then gestured for the man within to pull the lever, who did so.

With the gate raised, Sera and Joe headed into the town. It was bustling with activity, men, women, and children, all going about various day-to-day tasks. It was nice to see so many people living happily together, at least relatively. It was still a community after all, and all communities had problems that may not be visible on the surface. He donned his helmet once more as they made their way through the streets, the both of them drawing stares once they were noticed.

“I can’t believe he thought you were in charge.” She said bitterly, “Am I not graceful enough to be viewed as a leader?”

“Don’t blame me.” Joe told her, “You looked at me when he asked if we were staying.”

“He should have assumed that I was seeking your opinion. You do have a servant's face after all.” She told him casually.

“Servant’s face?” Joe asked, “How about shut up?”

She gasped, “Joseph, that was rude!”

“You fired first.” He said with a chuckle, “You reap what you sow.”

The stares unfortunately didn’t cease as they made their way into a square. Perhaps it was because Sera was an elf, or Joe’s strange armor, or maybe a combination of both. He hoped dearly that no one would ask them any questions, he just wanted to part with some of these coins in return for goods and get out of here. The stares made him uncomfortable, but he at least could enjoy the architecture of the town itself.

It looked just like something out of those medieval history textbooks, wooden and stone buildings here and there, functioning wells, along with some decorative statues here and there to spruce the place up. He and Sera rushed to find a business, any business to get out of sight. Thankfully it didn’t take long to find one.

A wooden sign hung down just above the doorway, depicting an armored man holding a sword. If that wasn’t a blacksmith shop then Joe was a bird. He urged Sera to follow after him, finally escaping the stare’s and shutting the door behind them.

“Welcome.” A deep voice said from behind the counter, “What can I help you with, strangers?”

Joe turned, seeing a wide man standing behind the desk, arms crossed. He looked like a human-sized version of Varig, with a long dark beard. Only thing different besides the height was that this man was bald.

“We’re browsing.” Joe replied, “If ya got something good I’ll take it.”

“Depends on what you need,” He said, gesturing to a wall behind him, “I got arms and armor ready to go, but most of my work is made to order. I also have a specialty item, completely useless if you ask me, but one of my blades turned magical recently.”

A magic sword? And this guy was willing to part with it? That sounded like something he’d be interested in for sure.

“We-” Sera started before Joe cut her off.

“Absolutely, what can it do? Is it a flaming sword, can it return to me if I hold my hand open-”

Sera put a hand on his arm, shaking her head, “Magic items are granted their powers randomly, just as Tomes appear from nowhere, and their abilities are even more varied. Most of them are useless, sometimes even ruining the tools original purpose.”

The blacksmith shrugged, “It’s true, I think the enchantment given is useless… Why were you explaining that to him?” He asked, narrowing his eyes, “That’s pretty common knowledge. Anyway… I heard that there is a new Outworlder in our Shard…” He said, grabbing a hammer from atop his desk, apparently just to inspect it, “Just rumors of course… So where are you from, stranger?”

“I’m from the Fog-Gates.” Joe replied, resting a hand casually but visibly on his short sword, “If I were an Outworlder, I wouldn’t be speaking Faesh.”

The two glared at one another for a long while before finally the man put his hammer back on the counter, “Apologies, you don’t match the description given. Apparently this new Outworlder has flesh made of steel, but you’re just wearing armor.”

Flesh of steel? Were these rumors not actually about him? Sera did say that Pienturshuld wouldn’t go spreading his true nature around, so unless his men had then he was safe.

“What else have you heard about this guy?” He asked, staying by the door, “I think I want a wish for myself is all.”

A lie of course, but he wanted more information.

“Well, besides the metal skin, I heard he has glowing red eyes made of glass and a staff that can cast blue beams, but that’s about it.” The blacksmith said, “But enough of that, let us do business, I’m sorry for my earlier suspicion.”

“Very well,’ Sera said, “What is this magical blade of yours?”

“It won’t be useful in a fight, just so you know.” The blacksmith said, pulling out a normal looking sword and laying it on the counter, “I had it appraised last month, and this blade is now only capable of slicing through cabbage.”

“Cabbage.” Joseph said, staring at the sword, “Why-”

Sera then nudged him with her elbow, mouthing ‘Ask later.’ That’s right, this was apparently common knowledge, if he kept asking questions like this, it would raise suspicion. He’d need to keep his curiosity to himself, at least until he and Sera were alone again.

“That’s right, it turned into a cabbage slicer.” The man sighed, “Useless, but magical items are sometimes sought after by collectors, even if their enchantment is useless.” He then leaned on the counter, “I’ll part with it for a hundred gold.”

“Not a chance.” Sera sneered, “We are not these ‘collectors’ you seek.”

“We don’t need to get nasty, now.” The smith said, putting the blade away.

“You threatened my friend, I find it difficult to be polite at this time.” She said flatly, “Joseph, see if there is something you want, and then let’s go.” She finished, crossing her arms and turning away from the counter.

Friend huh? It had only been a week, could she really call him a friend already? Sure, they had good rapport and she was great fun to talk with, but a week wasn’t a lot of time. Anyway, Joe did see something that he wanted from this man. He pointed to the long polearm that dominated the shelf behind the counter.

“I’ll take that poleaxe.” Joe said, “How much are you asking?”

It was a fantastic weapon, with an axehead for slashing, a spearpoint for stabbing, and a hammer on the back for smashing. It was a gorgeous weapon and he would have it.

The man grinned, “One hundred gold.”

Joe nodded, approaching the counter with Sera trailing right behind him. When he went to put the duffel bag on the table, she put a hand on his shoulder, glaring at the smith.

“You’re charging double?” She asked him, “You expect me to believe that this weapon is worth a hundred gold?”

Was that a lot? He wasn’t sure how valuable coins were on Faenor. If this guy was scamming him, then he may as well just steal it. No that wouldn’t be good, there was no way he’d be able to sneak that out of here without the smith seeing him. He could just knock him out right now and take it, but that would cause more problems than the poleaxe was worth. Becoming public enemy number one in this town wasn’t on his to do list.

“Its the standard price I’m afraid.” He said, narrowing his eyes at her, “For outsiders, that is.”

“Drop it down to ten coins or we walk.” Sera said, crossing her arms.

“Ninety.” The smith replied.

“Twenty.” Sera shot back.

The smith glared, “Eighty.”

“Sixty, or we walk.” Sera said, pointing to the door.

The smith seemed to mull over this for a moment before he huffed, “Very well, sixty coins it is.”

Joe shrugged, lifting the duffel bag and setting it on the counter. He didn’t open the sack all the way, he didn’t want this guy seeing just how much coin Joe had on his person. Instead he just pulled out each individual coin, laying them out on the table as he thought of this other potential Outworlder. If he had steel skin, glowing glass eyes, and a ‘staff with blue beams’, then they could be a cyborg. Bionics had become incredibly popular just before The End had taken place, but installing bionics after that would be exceedingly difficult.

It wasn’t possible that they were enhanced before The End, at least it wasn’t very likely. Whoever this was, they were enhanced after The End, not before it. This was a top notch survivor like himself, at least if they really were an Outworlder, there was a chance that this was a rumor and nothing more. Once he counted sixty coins, he pushed them to the smith, who tested them to see their legitimacy.

Once he was satisfied, he handed Joe the poleaxe. It was a hefty weapon, and from what he could eyeball it was about seven feet in length.

It was so damn cool.

With their business concluded, he and Sera left the shop, Joe using his new weapon as a walking staff. The stares still continued unfortunately, but he tried his best to blend in. They really couldn’t stay in town for much longer than this, Pienturshuld was sure to have spies or other folk here that would report Joe’s location back to him.

“You got a good mind for haggling.” Joe stated, still staring at the head of the poleaxe.

“That thing was worth sixty at most,” Sera said with a huff, “He was trying to pull one over on you, and you nearly fell for it.”

“Like I know how valuable things are in this world,” He whispered, leaning down to speak in her ear, “Gimme a break.”

“I suppose that’s fair,” She said with a nod, “Remember, if you have questions only ask me, and wait until when we’re alone.” She continued with a whisper, “Likewise, I’ll remember not to explain things to you out in the open again, I’m sorry for that.”

“It's alright.” He told her, “Now, there’s another thing I wanna get that I’m all out of.”

“What’s that?” She asked, “Some kind of tool, a type of food, books?”

“You know, books wouldn’t be a bad idea.” He said, “But I want to get some booze. You know how long it's been since I’ve gotten drunk?”

She shook her head.

“Forty years, I’ve been dry for forty years and I wanna fix that.” He said excitedly, “I ain’t gonna buy a barrel of the stuff, I ain’t walkin’ that all the way back to Betty, but there’s gotta be something strong I can buy around here.”

There had been barrels of some kind of alcohol at the bandit camps that he could have taken… but he just didn’t trust them. They had smelled vile and had a whole helping of floaties in em’.

“There’s a tavern in every human town I’ve ever been in,” Sera said with a grin, “I’m sure we could get some good drinks there.”

“Alright but I ain’t gettin’ drunk here.” Joe told her, “Gotta stay sober outside, best way to stay alive.”

With that, they continued to move through the cobbled streets, with people continuing to stare with both wonder and a tad bit of fear at the two of them. They must not be used to seeing elves strutting about, based on how their eyes kept drifting to her ears. Sera seemed to pay it no mind, apparently she was used to the gawking. Joe however, was not so comfortable with the attention. He felt horribly exposed and stayed tensed up until finally they found the tavern.

It looked no different from many of the other buildings around here, the only thing indicating that it was a tavern being the sign hanging above the door. It depicted a mug of what was presumably ale, with the text below it reading ‘Alestrum’. It sounded busy inside, the shouts of rowdy men and the giggles of tavern girls audible even from the outside.

“Lets just buy what we need n’ then we’ll go get some books.” He told her, opening the door to let her go through first.

“How kind.” She said with a smile, passing through the open doorway, “Let us, as you say, ‘get her done.’”

He followed after her, taking a deep breath to steady his nerves as the tavern went silent, all eyes within turning to stare at them. Several small circular tables took up the center of the chamber, with an empty stone fireplace sitting on the far wall. A counter split off a fourth of this main room, a row of occupied chairs lined up before it. The people here didn’t look particularly rowdy or rough, just normal folk taking some time off to relax. He rushed over to an empty space before the counter, where a fat man cleaned out an empty mug idly with a rag.

His eyes went wide when he saw the two of them, stumbling over a greeting before he asked, “W-what can I get for you two?” He asked nervously, “We have a spare room with a large bed-”

Joe shook his head, “I just wanna buy some drinks from ya. To go.”

“Ah, well in that case, I have this.” The man said, lifting up a heavy jug out from beneath the counter, “It’s my own recipe, I make the best mead in this whole Shard, I’ll part with this jug for ten gold.”

Sera looked to Joseph and nodded. Apparently that was a fair trade, he’d take her word for it. He leaned on his poleaxe before he began rifling through his bag, setting ten coins on the counter before taking the jug and storing it in his rucksack.

“Thank you much.” Joe told him, “I’m hopin’ it's as good as ya say.”

“Oh absolutely it is.” He said, “I’m sure you’ll be coming back for more soon- but ah, if you don’t mind me saying, please don’t bring that thing in here next time.” He continued, pointing to Joe’s poleaxe, “I thought you were going to rob me with how you were rushing up here with that.”

Joe shook his head, “Naw, I ain’t like that.”

He then turned to leave, but Sera looped her arm through his. He was about to ask why she was doing that, but soon saw the answer. Three men were very clearly staring at her, speaking to one another between drinks. He didn’t stare for too long, but he heard a few choice words from their table. ‘Pretty’ ‘An elf’ ‘Go talk to her’. They each seemed to be trying to goad the other to come speak to Sera. When they saw her clinging to Joseph however, their goading died out.

“We want to just leave, right?” Sera asked, “If those boys come over here we’ll be stuck here for a while longer, if I make it look like I’m taken they’ll lose interest.”

“Makes sense. Let's go.” He said, again making way for the door.

However, he found himself stopping again, this time due to a few new people coming through the door. They were three men in total, with a young pompously dressed man standing in the center, blocking the path. He had long dark hair and his clothing was made of fancy colorful silks, looking more like pajamas than anything to be worn out in public. His two companions were rather wide and rough of face, contrasting the lean frame and softer features of pajama boy.

“Well,” The man in the center said, “I’ve heard of you, free knight yes?”

Joe nodded, “That’s right. If you’ll excuse us.”

Sera drew closer to him as they attempted to walk past the trio, but they moved to intercept, blocking the path, “I am in need of a knight, if you seek a new master I will allow you to serve me, I am Hec Letsher, the heir to this township.”

“Thank you,” Joe said, “But I’m not interested at this time.”

Hec gave a chuckle, shaking his head, “I am not asking you, I’m telling you. You can either serve me, or you can go work the mines.”

“Get lost, punk.” Joe growled, “This ain’t a fight you want.”

The tavern had become eerily quiet after these three arrived, he noticed. People were averting their gazes, and the tavern girls seemed to be trying to keep themselves out of sight. This kid and his cronies must have been a constant nuisance, a rich boy with his goons making life harder for normal folk… maybe he should make it easier for everyone by killing this guy right here and now. He’d need to flee immediately after that, but this situation didn’t seem like it would have a peaceful outcome no matter what he did.

He wasn’t gonna serve this punk or work in his mines, so the best course of action would be to knock his block off and clear outta here. If he just beat Hec up right here he’d probably be too humiliated to return… either that, or he’d become even worse, taking out his anger on these people in Joe’s absence. No matter what he chose, getting the hell out of Dodge would have to come immediately afterward.

Hec’s eyes then found Sera’s, who stiffened under his gaze. He seemed to consider something for a long while before he grinned, “Very well, I will allow you to stay a free knight, but only if you let me take this elf home with me. You can have her back in the morning and be on your way, but never return to Letsher after that again.”

Right as Joe was about to smash his face in, Sera gave a sigh, “If that’s what’s needed to end this peacefully, then very well.” She said shakily.

Joe looked down to her with shock, seeing that her cheeks had gone pale. She tried her best to keep a straight face, but he could feel her shaking on his arm. Clearly she was terrified about the prospect, but from her perspective there must not have been that much of a choice. If that really was how she saw this situation, Joe couldn’t understand. She could kill this guy just as easily as Joseph could, so why was she considering this?

“If you fight him-” Sera said, putting a quivering hand to her brow, “If you fight him, it will cause too many problems to deal with. The entire city guard will come after us and we’re too far away from Betty to escape…”

“Not gonna happen.” He told her firmly.

“It is not your choice to make,” Hec told him flatly, “It’s hers. Now, shall we go?”

“I-” She stammered, “Yes…”

She didn’t move however, still clutching to Joe’s arm firmly.

“You’re nervous?” Hec asked, “You’re an elf, your kind are long-lived, surely you’ve had carnal experience already?”

Sera averted her gaze and said nothing.

“Oh boy, what a treat!” Hec exclaimed, clapping his hands together, “An untouched elf? Maybe I should keep you instead-”

“Hey, you said your name was Hec, right?” Joe asked, keeping his tone neutral.

Hec shot him a withering glare, “That’s right, I am Hec Letsher, heir to-”

“I’m gonna kick your ass.” Joe said, cutting him off.

“How dare you-”

Joe’s armored fist then crashed into Hec’s teeth while he was mid-sentence, shattering them and knocking him to the ground. The back of his head impacted with the floor, rebounding and sending Hec headfirst into dreamland. Shards of shattered teeth scattered on the wooden floor like broken glass, leaving Hec with a nigh-toothless and bloody maw. The silence was cut by a chorus of gasps from the tavern goers, and Hec’s goons stared at him with wide eyes.

“Get in my way now and I’ll just kill you.” Joe threatened, remaining perfectly still, “I don’t care who you are.”

The men raised their hands, stepping aside to let Joe and Sera through the door. They walked quickly, Joe pulling Sera along as they went.

“W-we’re going to be hunted down, we have to leave now!” Sera whispered quickly, “Why did you do that? Conflict could have been avoided if-”

“No.” Joe cut her off, “You think I was gonna let you go be some rich brat’s toy? He’s lucky I didn’t just kill him. Never do that again.” He continued harshly, “You were really going to let him do whatever he wanted to ya? You didn’t mean that right? You could end a guy like that no problem, I know you could.”

Her head hung, “I didn’t want you to be- I-” She stammered, “I didn’t want you to draw more attention to yourself… I’m sorry.”

Joe shook his head as they rushed through the streets, “I’ll be fine, I’ve been through worse.”

“I…” She said, hesitating, “Thank you, Joseph.”

“Don’t worry about it, but here’s a new ground rule you need to understand while yer with me.” He told her, “We don’t negotiate with assholes, got me?”

She clung to his arm more tightly, “I got you.”

It didn’t take long for them to reach the gates, the same guards from earlier spotting them, “You weren’t here for long, that weapon the only thing you bought?” The lever man asked.

“I bought some mead too.” He replied casually, “But we gotta get going, lots of stuff to do.”

“Aye, stay safe out there, thank you for behaving yourself.” The guard said, raising the lever.

Joe said nothing in reply. Once the palisade was raised, they walked out, maintaining a casual gait until they were a good distance away from Letsher. They didn’t want it to be obvious to the gate guards that they were fleeing, hopefully the news about Hec’s beating wouldn’t spread until they were already back at Betty. Both he and Sera broke out into a run when they saw the gate open again, an entire retinue of guards pouring through and shattering that hope.

He considered his options as they ran through the grass, trying to cut through the field and straight to Betty. They’d be able to catch up with them eventually, there were still miles left to go and he was sure that they’d send out men with horses as soon as they were ready. He could just kill a few of them and scare em’ off, but killing these guys didn’t sit right with him. He’d still do it if necessary, but if it could be avoided, that would be the option he’d take. He didn’t want to increase the orphan population in Letsher either, he was certain that at least some of these men were fathers.

He couldn’t fight them all off in melee either, there must have been over fifty men coming after them on foot. If he decided to kill them he’d have a better chance, but at that point he’d just pull out his gun. As he had the thought, the men on horseback he’d predicted rode out after the foot soldiers, ten of them in all. It wasn’t long before the horses closed the distance, the soldiers taking aim with crossbows.

Joe dropped the poleaxe, raising his rifle before firing at the feet of the beasts. The animals whinnied in terror, rearing back and sending some of their riders falling to the grass. Sera raised her hand, a large sheet of water appearing over the other soldiers heads and falling atop them, washing the ones that had kept a handle on their saddles off and successfully sending the other horses scattering.

If only they could get on one of those horses, they’d be able to get back to Betty in a jiffy. As he had the thought, he saw Sera raise her hand again, looking directly at the back of one of the fleeing beasts. The horse was effectively paralyzed where it stood. No words were exchanged as Joe swiped up his poleaxe, he and Sera sprinting toward it.

“Halt!” One of the horsemen shouted, struggling to rise from the ground, “You are to be judged in a court of law for your actions!”

“Get bent!” Joe shouted, handing his poleaxe to Sera before lifting her up onto the saddle, “I’d do it again!”

“Bastard, die!” The man yelled, raising his crossbow.

Joe quickly lifted his rifle and fired, the bullet tearing through the plate armor and blasting through his shoulder. The soldier dropped with a scream of agony, rolling around in the grass as his compatriots finally stood. He hopped up onto the horse with ease, grasping the reins right as Sera released the paralysis. She sat toward the front of the saddle, grasping the horn with a white knuckle grip while the poleaxe lay across her lap. Joe was right behind her, flicking the reins and raising his body as much as he could to protect her from any stray bolts.

The animal needed no encouragement to run, breaking off into a sprint toward the horizon. He heard the crossbows loose behind them, and he tensed up as some impacted the dirt around them. Two bolts unfortunately plinked into his back, tearing through the trenchcoat and denting the thick armor beneath it. He let out a curse as he felt pain spreading through his back. It may not have pierced his flesh, but the force had still been strong enough to dent the breastplate. If they had been closer than this, there would have been a real chance that the bolts could have penetrated the metal. They were basically in the clear now though, the guards wouldn’t be able to catch up with them on horseback unless they quickly caught their own.

“We did it!” Sera yelled excitedly, “My goodness, how invigorating!”

“Home free now,” Joe said with a grin, “We ain’t gonna be able to go back there but knocking that guy out was worth it.”

They rode that horse all the way back to Betty, quickly dismounting before setting the animal on its way. He quickly lowered Betty’s ramp and the two rushed inside, both letting out a sigh of relief once the door was sealed behind them. Joseph unslung his duffel bag and rucksack, leaving them by the door before taking the poleaxe back from Sera.

“It's good work, but I got an idea to make it better.” He said, laying it on the workbench, “Not right now, we gotta get out of here, but later I’m gonna supe this bad boy up.” It was a bit of an exaggeration on his part, but it would be an improvement nonetheless.

He made way for the cockpit, Sera opting to collapse onto the recliner instead of following after him. He got in the chair, twisted the key, and rode off toward the horizon. He drove at a comfy speed of forty mph for about an hour before he decided to come to a stop, satisfied with the distance he had put between Letsher and himself. There was a chance that they’d find them of course, but he could have Sera keep watch on the cameras while he slept. He stood from the chair and moved back into the front room, seeing Sera still sitting there with a hand on her chest.

“Well, we’re now wanted criminals in this Shard for assaulting a noble, but on the plus side… that was a lot of fun!” She said with a smile, sitting up, “I… I thank you for standing up for me, Joseph.”

“Don’t worry about it.” He said, “I’m still surprised that you were gonna go through with it.”

She frowned, hanging her head, “It seemed like the only way to avoid bloodshed and the unwanted attention it would have brought you, I didn’t want to make your life harder than it already would be as an Outworlder.”

“Make my life harder?” Joe asked with a chuckle, shaking his head, “Girly, I went through an apocalypse, nothing in the universe is harder than that.”

“I suppose you’re right.” She said, standing from the chair.

“Byeah.” He replied, “I’ll put the booze in the kitchen, can’t drink tonight in case those fellas catch up with us-”

She hugged him suddenly, cutting him off.

“I wasn’t makin’ a deal.” He told her, confused at the contact.

“This is a normal hug, fool.” She said, releasing him, “I’m grateful.”

“Alrighty then.” He said, giving a thumbs up, “Settle in n’ relax, I gotta get everything squared away.”

Sera smiled, “...Of course.” She said after a moment, “Say, would you teach me some English tonight?”

“Sure.” He said with a nod, “It’s only fair… actually, I got one more question for ya, I remember back when I killed the dragon that you said only dwarves could imbue magic into items, but today ya told me that things could become magic randomly, what’s the difference?”

“Dwarves have figured out a way to increase the chances of an item becoming magical.” Sera said, “The only thing I know about it is that imbuement isn’t nearly as potent as when it happens naturally. They would be more likely to have what you’re looking for though.”

“I need a sewing needle to puncture them scales, and I need something that can saw through dragon bone.” He said.

“It won’t be easy to come by even then, but you can always try.” She said, sitting down in front of the entertainment center.

“Welp, in that case, I know where we’re headed next.”


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