Portal Express

Leo blinked. He blinked again. He read the notification for a third time, the hot pink screen assaulting his tired eyes. His brain, still recovering from the primal terror of facing a dragon, simply refused to process the avalanche of emojis and internet slang.

"Leo-kun?" he muttered to his empty office. "Energy bar?"

For one glorious moment, he thought it was a glitch, some spam. Maybe his smartphone had been infected by a cosmic virus. But then his gaze fell on the [Trueflame Scale] resting on his desk, emitting a soft, real warmth. The memory of the warning—recycled—shot down his spine. Real or not, he couldn't risk it.

With a sigh that carried the weight of a thousand mundane deliveries, he accepted the order.

The first challenge: finding limited-edition cheese-flavored chips and a diet cherry soda at two in the morning. Fortunately, life in a megalopolis had its perks. Fifteen minutes and a few credits lighter, he was back in his office with a crinkling plastic bag in hand. The contrast between his previous mission (acquiring Whispering Salt from a monster market) and this one (buying snacks at a convenience store) was so absurd he almost laughed.

He opened the app. The GPS traced a route that, once again, ended at his storage room door. This time, however, when he opened it, there was no lava cavern.

The door opened into the lobby of an impossibly chic apartment building. The floor was polished black marble that reflected a ceiling where pale constellations moved slowly, as if the night sky itself were held captive there. The air was cold, silent, and smelled of ozone and the faint scent of lilies. Behind a desk of obsidian, a tall, motionless doorman in an impeccable suit watched him, faceless. Literally, his head was a smooth, shadowed surface, like an unfinished mannequin.

Leo swallowed hard, feeling terribly underdressed in his delivery jacket. The faceless doorman made a slow gesture toward an ornate, golden elevator. The message was clear.

The ride up was silent, no ambient music, just a low hum. The elevator had no buttons but seemed to know where it was going. It stopped smoothly, and the doors opened onto a single hallway ending at a black door with a silver '7'. The Underworld Penthouse.

Remembering the instructions, Leo tiptoed closer. From the other side of the door, he could hear faint sounds. They weren't the screams of the damned or the rattling of chains. They were the unmistakable sounds of a video game battle—explosions, character shouts, and the furious clicking of buttons—mixed with the sound of someone loudly crunching on chips.

He crouched down and carefully placed the plastic bag on the floor. The instant his fingers left the bag, his smartphone vibrated.

DELIVERY COMPLETE! Customer Rating: ★★★★★ (♡♡♡ LEO-KUN IS THE BEST!! ♡♡♡) Payment Received:

+500 Karma Points

+1x [Charon's Obol - One-Way Passage]

The door never opened. He never saw the client. With a feeling of profound strangeness, Leo turned and headed back to the elevator. It was only when he was back in the safety of his office that he dared to check his new item.

[Charon's Obol - One-Way Passage]: A cold iron coin, engraved with a skull and two oars. Grants safe passage across any metaphysical barrier, river of souls, or afterlife border. Highly sought after by lost spirits and fugitives from final judgment. Warning: possessing this coin marks your soul with a faint ethereal glow, making you a visible target for soul collectors and underworld authorities.

"Visible target..." Leo read aloud, his blood running cold. Great. Another magical item that basically painted a target on his back. He was about to throw the smartphone against the wall when it vibrated again. It wasn't an order; it was a chat message.

A small profile picture of an anime character with pink hair appeared next to the name "Sephie-chan".

♡ඩ⌔ඩ♡ THX SOOO MUCH LEO-KUN! U SAVED MY LIFE! The boss was so mad, u have no idea. Btw, I forgot to add something to the order. Can u come back? I need u to find the limited edition light novel 'My Rival is the Hero King's Tsundere Sister Vol. 3'. It's super important for... uh... official Underworld business. I'll give u another cool coin! Plz?

(づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ

Leo stared at the message, his exhaustion fighting a losing battle against the absurdity. He had just made a delivery to the realm of the dead for an otaku goddess who now wanted him as her personal errand boy for finding Japanese romance novels.

He rubbed his face, the smell of cheese-flavored chips still faintly clinging to his clothes. His life was officially a circus.