Pokemon: These Players are too annoying!

"Damn it! Not a single bastard bought my Pokémon! Am I making a loss today?!"

The owner of the small stall slammed the table, startling the Pokémon locked in the iron cages. He glanced sharply at the Pokémon, then pulled out a whip.

"Hmph! It must be because you're all too weak that no one wants to buy you! I'll punish you!"

What the hell?! Why punish us?! Whether we're strong or not depends on the trainer, not some stupid whip!

"I'll show you my Asian parenting skills!"

Just as he raised his whip, a sudden noise nearby caught his attention.

A small vendor cart had been set up next to his stall, with four kids standing around it.

'Who the hell are these brats, daring to sell right next to my stall? Trying to steal my customers?!'

Annoyed, he walked over to the cart.

"Hey! Why the hell are you selling here?!"

A boy wearing a cloak that covered his entire face stepped forward, adjusted his voice, and spoke in a deep tone.

"Dear friendly neighbor next door, this is the Underground City, and you can sell wherever you want, right?"

"Then why here?"

"Is that any of your business?"

"You little brats! Do you have a death wish?!"

He then glanced at their merchandise, spotting a strange-looking machine.

"What the hell are you selling?"

"Are you blind? Can't you see what's in front of you?" said a boy wearing glasses.

'What a cheeky brat,' he thought, but then scoffed.

"You really think anyone will care about whatever weird gadget you're selling? Here, Pokémon are the main attraction. Do you really think anyone will buy your junk?"

"You think you're better than us?" a girl pointed at the unsold Pokémon in his cages.

Hearing the kids talk back to him, veins bulged on his forehead as he stormed off.

'There's no way that hunk of metal could sell well. I'd rather die than believe that!'

As he returned to his stall, Bob nodded at his friends. Then, he stepped in front of the vendor cart, took a deep breath, and shouted:

"HEAR YE, HEAR YE! EVERYONE LISTEN UP! GUYS GETTING PREGNANT AND GIRLS POOPING IN THE WRONG PLACES, LISTEN HERE!!!"

That one sentence alone was enough to grab everyone's attention.

Bob smirked and continued.

"RIGHT NOW, WE ARE SELLING A SPECIAL DEVICE THAT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE! IF YOU'RE CURIOUS, LET ME EXPLAIN ITS FEATURES IN DETAIL!"

He then picked up the device and held it high.

"THIS! THIS IS THE **** ****** MACHINE! (Censored because it's quite inappropriate). IT CAN ABSORB ALL SOUNDS YOU MAKE, PERFECT FOR WHEN YOU'RE SLEEPING WITH SOMEONE WIFE, SOMEONE MOM, YOUR SISTER, YOUR AUNT, OR EVEN SOMEONE ELSE'S POKÉMON!!!"

At that last sentence, the crowd immediately turned their full attention to the device, examining it closely.

"TO PROVE IT, I'LL USE IT RIGHT NOW!"

Bob activated the device, and suddenly, all the sounds he made disappeared.

"Ohhhhhh!!" The crowd gasped, their eyes lighting up with amazement.

Bob then casually walked over to the neighboring stall, pulled out a strange hammer, and smashed the chains locking the Pokémon cages.

He carried the cage away while continuing his pitch, all while the stall owner remained completely unaware that his merchandise had just been stolen.

Even though the audience saw everything Bob had just done, none of them cared.

After all, this was the Underground City. Who gave a damn about other people's losses? Besides, they were too fascinated by the device.

"OHHHHHH!!!"

Bob placed the Pokémon cage at his feet, handed the device to Bulbasaur, and continued his pitch.

"WE COULD ONLY PRODUCE ONE OF THESE DUE TO LACK OF FUNDS, SO WE'LL BE HOLDING AN AUCTION RIGHT HERE! STARTING PRICE: 20,000 POKÉDOLLARS!"

What the heck?! They're auctioning it off right here?!

And 20,000 Pokédollars?! That's crazy expensive!

"But... being able to sleep with someone else's mom... this price is a steal!"

"I HAVE TO SLEEP WITH A VAPOREON!"

"I BID 21,000 POKÉDOLLARS!"

One person shouted their bid, causing others to panic and join in.

"22,000!"

"23,000!"

"26,900!"

"26,969!"

The price kept rising. Ensten, Tesla, and Lifeistrap were blown away by Bob's marketing skills.

"This guy must be a salesman in real life. No one else could be this experienced!"

"Yeah, totally!"

Bob happily scanned the crowd until he noticed a man staring at them skeptically.

"AUCTION PAUSED FOR NOW! YOU THERE! COME UP HERE!!" Bob pointed directly at the man, drawing everyone's attention to him.

"?!" The man was startled. Seeing all eyes on him, he had no choice but to step forward.

"Do you have something to say?" Bob asked.

"It's just… your device is completely illogical. I've never heard of a machine that can absorb sound."

"Are you serious? You think this is illogical, but flying ships and Magnemites make sense to you?"

"Well, I mean, they're documented—"

"Exactly! If they work, then why wouldn't my device?!"

"…"

"Here, if you don't believe me, I'll let you try it. Take this device and this hammer. Steal a Pokémon from that guy's stall and bring it back to me. Then you'll see for yourself!"

Hearing that, the man gave it a try.

And it actually worked! He brought a Pokémon back, completely undetected.

"See? Now do you believe me?"

"…Can I bid now?"

"Of course!"

"100,000."

The entire crowd gasped and spat out their drinks in shock.

"Damn, this guy's loaded! ANYONE ELSE WANT TO BID?!"

Silence.

Bob grinned and made the final call.

"THIS MAN HAS PURCHASED OUR PRODUCT! WE'RE SOLD OUT!!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

"Shut up! But if you want more, then give us money! We can produce more of these devices, or even new inventions with different features! Support us!"

Hearing that, the crowd eagerly donated 1,000 Pokédollars each. Bob grinned like a true capitalist.

As the crowd slowly dispersed, Bob held a stack of cash taller than himself, smirking mischievously.

"So much money!" Tesla looked at the cash with delight.

"Now we can start selling even bigger things!"

"You're amazing, Bob!" Lifeistrap admired Bob, who pretended to act cool.

"Alright, let's head back! With this money and these Pokémon—"

Before he could finish his sentence, a strong hand grabbed his wrist.

"YOU LITTLE BASTARD! HOW DARE YOU STEAL FROM ME?!"

The group gasped in shock as the stall owner tightly gripped Bob's arm.

But for some reason, Bob remained completely calm.

"Let go."

"YOU THINK I'LL JUST LET YOU GO, YOU BRAT?! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT I'M GOING TO—"

"I'm going to count from 3 to 1. If you don't let go, you're going to regret it."

"The hell are you talking about—"

"HELP!!! SOMEBODY!!! THERE'S A PEDOPHILE HERE! AGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"

Those who were about to leave suddenly stopped in their tracks and turned to look at the man.

"Huh?"

Poor guy… Touching a kid was the worst mistake he could've made…

"HE DARED TO TOUCH A CHILD!?!"

"WHO TOUCH THE CHILD?!"

"HE TOUCH THE CHILD!!"

"DRAG HIM INTO A CORNER AND BEAT HIM UP!!!"

"WAIT WAIT WAIT!!!"

The crowd immediately lifted him up and carried him away, leaving the players standing there in shock.

"Oh hey! Free Pokémon!" Bob pointed at the Pokémon still locked in cages, smiling innocently like a little kid.

Bro is pure evil…

*****

It's been a while! I was on Lunar new year break, so I made sure to enjoy my time off to the fullest.

It was so nice not having to worry about studying or anything.

Unfortunately, after finishing this chapter, I have to go back to school :(