NOVEL WEB Chapter 4: Chapter 3. No More Fear of Licking... Probably
"Beep—Gastly, the Ghost Pokémon; a gaseous lifeform that appears as a wispy, transparent figure. If enveloped by its gas, even an elephant will collapse within two seconds." This was the description of Gastly in the Pokédex, a device resembling a handheld console given by Professor Oak.
"..." Yuu Kisaragi glanced at the cutesy, round, cartoonish illustration of Gastly in the Pokédex, then turned to look at the real-life, eerie, smoke-shrouded, black-faced, fanged monstrosity beside him that looked like it could star in a horror movie without any makeup. He found it hard to accept that these two were the same creature. "Is this what the system meant by 'unknown changes'? A harmless, adorable 2D Pokémon turns into a hyper-realistic, grotesque bio-horror in 3D... This is beyond just being scammed, right?"
If this terrifying thing could at least be stored inside a Poké Ball, it wouldn't be so bad. But the system, in its infinite wisdom, had to assign a task to raise friendship levels—and the way to do it was simple: keep the Pokémon out of its Poké Ball and by your side at all times, and the friendship would gradually increase...
Current Friendship Level—13/100
"Ghehehe..." Gastly seemed highly sensitive to being stared at. Noticing Yuu's gaze, it happily floated closer to show affection in its own unique way—licking!
"GAAAHHHH!!!" Yuu Kisaragi, whose hidden luck stat was probably an E, once again triggered the paralysis effect of the move...
Beep! Friendship +2. Current Friendship—15/100
"Oh, so I just need to get licked 43 more times to complete the mission..." Yuu muttered weakly, convulsing on the ground, before mustering all his strength to scream, "COMPLETE YOUR ASS! I'LL BE DEAD LONG BEFORE THAT! EVEN WITH IMMORTALITY, I'LL STILL DIE!"
"Ghehehe!" Seeing its trainer "excitedly" shouting, Gastly gleefully somersaulted in midair before diving straight for Yuu's head...
"Ugh—" Yuu's head and Gastly's skull merged in a spectacularly grotesque overlap...
"Gastly, the Ghost Pokémon; a gaseous lifeform that appears as a wispy, transparent figure. If enveloped by its gas, even an elephant will collapse within two seconds." This was the last thought that flashed through Yuu's mind before he blacked out.
Beep! Friendship +3. Current Friendship—18/100
Back at Professor Oak's lab, not too far away...
"Hmm... I still feel a bit uneasy about that Gastly," Professor Oak mused, sipping coffee as he leaned back in his chair. "With Pikachu, as long as the trainer earns its trust, it won't shock them. But Gastly's habit of using moves to express affection... Doesn't that mean the closer you get, the more likely you are to get attacked? That kid, Yuu... Will he be okay?"
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"Hah... Hah-CHOO!" Yuu sneezed violently.
"I can say with absolute certainty that this isn't because someone's talking about me..." Yuu turned to glare resentfully at Gastly. "This is very clearly a cold!"
Here's what happened. Earlier, after being paralyzed by Gastly's lick, Yuu was then subjected to a "close-quarters body press" that knocked him out cold on the side of the road. And as if fate had it out for him, a thunderstorm rolled in right after (the same one where Ash's Pikachu went berserk and wiped out the Spearow flock). So Yuu's ten-year-old body ended up lying helplessly in the pouring rain for half an hour...
"Ghehe..." Gastly, aware it had messed up, floated dejectedly behind Yuu, its hovering height lowered to around his waist...
Beep! Friendship -1. Current Friendship—15/100. Warning: If friendship drops below 10, the mission will fail and cannot be retaken.
Goddammit! Yuu was furious. So now I have to comfort this creepy skull-faced thing that gave me a cold and covered me in mud?!
Beep! Friendship -1. Current Friendship—14/100
Despite his resentment, Yuu couldn't ignore the system's (utterly scammy) warning. Grudgingly, he shuffled over to Gastly and, fighting back shivers from its chilling aura, placed a hand on its bony head. "Well... Gastly, what you did was pretty bad, but I know you didn't mean it..."
"...Ghehe?" Gastly lifted its head, its big, watery eyes (if this were 2D) filled with hope and joy—though in reality, its actual expression was more like a grotesque skull with dark eye sockets brimming with what looked like blood...
Yuu felt his stomach perform a 3.4-difficulty Olympic dive. Suppressing the nausea and dizziness, he forced out the rest of his words: "Just... never do that suffocation attack again... I'll forgive you this time—!!!"
"GHEHEHEHE!!!" Gastly instantly revived to full power! Lick combo initiated!
"HOLY SH—!" Yuu bolted. "This isn't fair!"
Beep! Gastly has entered Frenzy Mode! Attack and movement speed increased by 25%. Friendship gain boosted by 50%!
Beep! Friendship +3. Current Friendship—17/100
Beep! Friendship +3. Current Friendship—20/100
"HEEEEEELP!!!"
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Officer Jenny of Viridian City was having quite the educational day.
First, a rookie trainer came rushing in carrying a critically injured Pikachu, forcing her to drive him to the Pokémon Center. And now, barely back at her post, she witnessed the exact opposite scenario—a Gastly dragging what looked like a half-dead trainer by the collar.
Well, since Gastly wasn't strong enough to carry a human, the trainer was basically being scraped along the ground...
"Ghehe! Ghehehe!"
"Emergency!" Though she couldn't understand Gastly, the situation spoke for itself. Officer Jenny immediately revved her motorcycle. "Hop on! I'll take you to the hospital!"
Lucky! Another chance to speed through the city!
Wait, Officer Jenny, are you hiding some strange traits...?
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"..." Waking up in the hospital, Yuu didn't bother complaining about the ceiling this time. Instead, he immediately checked Gastly's friendship level on the system screen.
Current Friendship—85/100
Meaning at least twenty more licks? Yuu couldn't help but marvel: I'm still alive... and somehow, it feels like I even got some perks...
Beep! Trait: Immortality Lv1 upgraded! Immortality Lv2: No longer critically injured by Pokémon moves. Won't die from normal attacks. A must-have for trainers!
Beep! New Trait Unlocked: Paralysis Resistance Lv2—66% resistance to paralysis effects.
"Uh... Should I laugh or cry?" Yuu facepalmed.
In short, Yuu had been licked so much he developed immunity. Now he could get licked all he wanted without worry. Hooray, everyone's happy...
"Good, you're awake." The door opened, revealing one of the Pokémon world's most famous faces—Nurse Joy.
"Young lady, you collapsed in the wild due to a severe cold and mild gas poisoning." The 3D version of Nurse Joy was even prettier than Yuu imagined, radiating pure, innocent charm. "I'm not sure how you got poisoned, but thanks to your loyal Pokémon bringing you to Officer Jenny, your condition didn't worsen."
"Ahaha, is that so..." Yuu laughed dryly. Little did she know, both the cold and the gas poisoning were courtesy of that "loyal" Pokémon—wait, does Gastly's gas contain actual poison?
Speak of the devil—or rather, Gastly—and it shall appear. With a spine-chilling "GHEHEHE," a fanged, tongue-lolling skull covered in what looked like bloody tears flew past Nurse Joy and lunged at Yuu, its pitch-black tongue lashing out—
"GYAAAH!" Thanks to his new trait, Yuu didn't get paralyzed, but the lick still packed a punch! And even ignoring the damage, having a cold, slimy, unsettlingly large tongue slap you across the face was...
"My, your Pokémon really loves you~" Nurse Joy smiled warmly at the "heartwarming" scene before quietly stepping out and closing the door. "I'll leave you two alone, but don't overdo it. Rest well."
"Wait, Nurse Joy! It's not what you think! HELP!!!"
...
Beep! Side Quest: Protagonist Aura completed. Reward: +1 free attribute point. +1 chance to select the next wild Pokémon encounter.
Beep! Hidden Quest Chain Triggered: Night Shift Nurse—Seduce Viridian City's Nurse Joy through unconventional means. Reward: +5 to all stats, +10 free attribute points, Title: Scumbag (10% boost in battles against female trainers).
...
SYSTEM, ENOUGH WITH THIS BULLSH*T! I HAVE STANDARDS, DAMN IT!