Play Test: Stuck in Another World as a Reality TV Contestant

Go With the Flow



God bless this cold, black water and these subterranean depths. Carry me to safety, or at the very least, send my body floating down the canal back to my mother.

Strange were the thoughts, and odd was the peace that found me in this storm drain, though neither unwelcome. I’d have imagined that hurdling towards a very narrow hole in pitch black, freezing water while trying to drown a ghost would be stressful, but here I was, at peace. Oh sure, I was probably going to get knocked unconscious and drown the moment I hit one of the walls the wrong way, but, boy, was it nice to watch this dead asshole suffer.

The Hungry Ghost had been at a loss, clearly, when I’d first started dangling off a sword that was partially sticking out of its torn open stomach, but it had reacted with immediate fury once I yanked it into the water. Even after ripping itself in half, it still dwarfed me in size, its torso almost three times as wide as me, and hands larger than my skull. I curled into a ball as it brought its enormous claws down on me, scoring me on the back twice for a total of sixteen Murderous damage. Considering that it was lit only by my own faint gold glow and that I was hanging on by both hands, there was little I could do, blind and bound as I was, to defend myself as it took me down to one point away from death.

Thankfully, I didn’t need to. The rushing water stole from its gaping stomach limbs and disparate organs, which poured forth all around and over me, streaming past my face as I hung on. Most turned into motes of light once free, diminishing the Hungry Ghost with their absence. But a few clung onto the ghost, grabbing at its face and arms and trying to drag it down deeper. When it tried to bite me with its chipped and rotting maw, two arms shot out from its throat and pulled its jaws open while a cloud of fingers and toes started to belch out.

Time dilated in those filthy waters for me, letting me savor the joy of watching and feeling the ghost dwindle away for what felt like long minutes. It couldn’t have been more than thirty seconds though until there was more mass in the limbs grappling the Egui than remained in the ghost itself. Soon after, the black void that was hungrily holding onto the majority of the blade weakened, and I was able to cut the sword free by twisting my body with a violent jerk.

That was the killing blow; the tattered remains of its body went limp and then vanished into a cloud of sickly yellow specks of light. The white wakizashi, a pale shadow in the dark water, radiated a cruel joy at the final destruction of its ghostly prison, and possessive pride towards me, its new wielder. It commanded my fingers to curl around it tighter, circumventing my mental defenses with disquieting ease.

[Encounter Complete!]

Defeated Hungry Ghost; Jade Fu

Reward: 30XP + 8XP = 38

Bonus, First encounter with a Lesser Evil: x2

Total = 38 x 2 = 76

[Hidden Quest Complete!]

Exorcise the Hungry Ghost of Bell Street.

Reward: 25XP, +1 Agility, Gain Minor Feat One Amongst Many

Bonus, Annihilated ghost: 15XP, +1 Elemental Control (Fire)

Bonus, Funikugami’s Curses: 20XP

Bonus, Jade Fu survived: 5XP, Gain Ally Jade Fu

[Minor Feat] One Amongst Many

You are as comfortable fighting a dozen men as you are fighting one. Your enemies don't receive any of the normal situational bonuses from having you surrounded.

[Hidden Quest Complete!]

Recover the legendary Hakkotsu no Ha.

Reward: 10XP, Gain Item Hakkotsu no Ha – Base Damage 3. Gain 1 Permanent Corruption. The cursed blade has claimed you as its wielder; it would be easier to lose your arm than to part with it now. It is best known for its ability to wound spirits, demons, gods, and other such ephemeral entities. If lost, it will return to you in its own bloody way. Almost nothing can destroy it forever.

Victory, while sweet, was quickly overshadowed by a need to right myself if I wanted to survive. The pipe which led from the drain into the canal was only two feet wide, if I recalled correctly, leaving little to no room for error. If I collided with the entrance, I’d go unconscious and drown; if I entered it at the wrong angle, I’d get stuck and drown. Worse, this was my first time attempting ‘The Chute’, as my father’s generation called it, too – I’d previously deemed the water too gross, and the potential death too horrifying to try.

Inexperience, my Injury Threshold penalties, the lack of sight, and the severe time crunch combined to cancel out my Athletics and most of my Agility. I was unsurprised when I Whiffed the roll, having come to terms with my impending doom before the dice clattered in my mind.

Sorry, boys and girls, I thought to my friends, now trapped in this world. Best of luck. I’ll see you in the next life. Maybe they'll do a reunion season somewhere on a beach.

I braced for the final impact, but it didn’t come. Instead, three hands, one on my shoulder and another two holding my ankles, grabbed and tugged me into position. I had just enough time to see the disembodied arm on my shoulder turn into a cloud of glowing dust before I found myself shooting through the middle of the exit pipe.

Holy shit, did Hero’s Honors work on ghosts?! It gave me guaranteed Successes on Social rolls with people I’d rescued, and I had freed them from the Egui’s stomach, but still – ghosts? If that was true, then I was a few select missions away from becoming the world’s chillest necromancer.

“Thanks for the help, boy,” said a soft whisper in my ear. “I’ll pass on my compliments to your ancestors.”

“Damn,” came another voice with a deep sigh. “If it wasn’t bad enough to get rescued by Johnny’s kid, I had to go and save his life. There’d better be a karmic reward for this.”

“WOOOOOOOOO! One last Chute, BABYYYYYYY!!”

I torpedoed out of the pipe and into the canal feet first, hitting the bottom and kicking up enough silt to blind visibility. Strong arms wrapped around me from behind and carried me up to the surface, vanishing the moment my head was above water. The rain had stopped and the winds were still, though the night was filled with the sounds of fire engines racing through the streets. I had a good idea of what their destination was.

It was a pain swimming with the wakizashi in my hand, but I rejected the idea of relinquishing it outright. Even if hadn’t been, maybe, forcing me to keep hold of it, I had put in some goddamn work to recover the blade. Luckily, the system didn’t demand a roll from me to weakly float my way to the side of the canal; I wasn’t confident I wouldn’t have whiffed.

With great difficulty, I climbed up a rusted emergency ladder and pulled myself onto the hard, concrete ground chest first, crawling forward until I could finally come to a much-needed rest. I was on of one of the wide walking paths that commonly lined the city’s canals, thankfully emptied of people by the earlier storm. Panting and mind-numbingly exhausted, I rolled onto my back.

“Ow, fuck!”

Oh, right, my back had been ripped to shreds by the Egui. I waffled a bit, gritting my teeth as I inadvertently ground some dirt and pebbles into my wounds, and rolled onto my side. It was moderately less painful.

“Woah, take it easy now.” A man kneeled down and comfortingly slipped his palm under my head, lifting it slightly. I noticed his clothes first, the white onmyoji’s robes and pointy hat extremely distinctive, and his resemblance to Maki second. I tried to push myself to my feet, but he gently directed me to stay still. “Don’t worry, my sister’s on the way. Just lie still; you’re losing a lot of blood.”

“Bro, I got so much blood in this bitch. You got no idea,” I slurred deliriously, waving him off. Agonizingly, I used the wakizashi still locked in my grip to prop myself up, drawing a wince from the onmyoji. I squinted through the pain at the young man; he seemed to be lit by an ethereal pale light that I couldn’t source. “Ishida Ken?”

He clasped his hands in front of his face and bowed. “That’s right. Thank you for looking after my sister. And for avenging me, of course.”

“Don’t sweat it. I’m James Li, by the way. Feel like you,” I paused, still out of breath from the fight, “ought to be with your sister though.”

“I am. I’m leading her here now. Time means little to the dead. Well, I say that but,” he grimaced, "I can't hold on much longer. I'll try to help as much as I can."

“Ah.” I nodded, reaching for my phone to shoot her a text, before groaning with a realization.

“Phones aren’t waterproof yet?” asked the ghost.

“You’ve been dead for like two years, man. And no, which means I’m back to being broke as shit. Great, less than a week old too.”

“Maybe it’s covered by warranty.”

“Nothing is ever covered by the warranty.” I sighed, looking up at the single-digit number of stars that could shine through the pollution above the city. “Down two phones in a week, but at least I got a cursed sword out of this mess.”

Ken frowned. “An extremely cursed sword. I’m sorry to have burdened you and this city with it. I never should have listened to Funikugami – left that thing in the catacombs where it belonged." He spoke quickly, clearly concerned with communicating as much as he could with what time he had left. "Be careful around him; I can feel his gifted power inside you. You should know, that while he can come across as reasonable, and usually is, there’s nothing he wants more than the death of all things. His sword, similarly, will try to drive you towards sating its bloodlust. I think that’s his rib, by the way, hardened to steel.”

“It’s corrupting me, I know. And I don’t think I could get rid of it if I wanted to either. Any…tips?”

“Huh, I’m surprised you noticed. Well, you’re already a step ahead of me. I didn’t notice it was affecting my decisions until it was too late. I wonder, if I hadn’t rushed to fight the Ghost, would I still be alive?” He shook his head. “Guess it doesn’t matter now. My only advice would be to use it as sparingly as possible, and prepare, prepare, prepare for every battle – harder than your instincts are telling you to. Those will be the first to be corrupted.”

He paused and tilted his head. “They’re almost here. Your cab driver friend is, uh—”

“Driving like a lunatic?”

He smiled. “Is treating his task with all the urgency it deserves. I’m glad, but it doesn’t leave me with much time.” He bowed again. “James Li, I know it’s crass of me, but I must ask you for a favor.”

“Sure. Shoot.”

“Please, join the Shrine as a warrior. With my death, only priests and priestesses remain, no true fighters, and no way to deal with mortal threats.”

I hesitated, thinking about having to interact with more Kami. After tonight, I was hoping to never have to deal with one again. Their minds were alien, their motives inscrutable, and their powers bullshit. “I don’t know, man, that’s a big ask. I’ve got a lot of shit going on…”

“Please, I beg you! Without an honest fighter, I fear they’ll have to turn to the Yakuza for help! Those dogs lack a selfless bone in their bodies. It would mean a slow infection of all our communal values, the hollowing of our righteous cause. Tens of thousands rely on the Shrine for help! Please, if not for me, then for them.”

I groaned. If he put it like that, there was no way I could say no – And, he was a ghost? I’d feel like a total asshole turning down his last, selfless request. “Okay, okay, fine. You know, I was hoping you were just going to ask me to look after your sister.”

“Oh!” He clapped his hands in front of him and bowed again. “Please do that too!”

“Obviously, yes. You’re a very needy ghost, by the way.”

Ken beamed. A hint of mischief appeared in his eyes. “Wonderful! In that case,” he placed a palm on my forehead, “I name you, Ishida Kenji. Welcome to the family, younger brother!”

A breeze passed through me, making my Qi network shiver. I felt lighter and cleaner, as though a thick layer of dust had been blown off my joints and bones. The night seemed a tad brighter, and a little more comfortable for some indefinable reason.

[Boon Granted] Ishida Family Scion

+1 Perception, +1 Insight

You’ve entered the Ishida Clan by way of adoption and will be treated as a member in good standing by their defenses and in their established agreements with Kami. Additionally, gain 1 guaranteed Success when defending yourself from curses and attacks by spirits.

“You’re naming me Ken-Two?” I asked in disbelief – the nerve of this guy. “What are you, a narcissist? Shouldn’t it have some deeper meaning?”

Maki’s deceased brother – and mine, technically – was already beginning to fade into the light, a relieved grin on his face. Whatever he'd done had reduced him to barely more than a silhouette. “Bye, Kenji-kun!” His voice grew more distant with every word. “I’ll be waiting for you in the next life…”

“Oi!” I shouted at the faint specter. “I don’t approve of that name! You can’t make me go by that!” Goddamn it, he was already gone “Is this how Maki feels when I’m being deliberately annoying?” I gave it a thought. “No, it’s funnier when I do it.”

Huo’s taxi hopped the curb and came to a screeching halt in front of me, fully on the walkway. Maki threw open the door and rushed out. She looked like a mess, clothes and hair soaked and sticking to her, talismans still dripping water, but didn’t appear injured.

“James—” Maki stopped herself as she got closer, breath hitching. “We need to get you to a hospital immediately.”

I blinked at her face, white sparks momentarily clouding my vision. God, it was hard to do anything with the six Dice, Injury Threshold penalty. “Hey, Maki, guess what I found out?”

The miko came around to my side, kneeling down and taking me by the elbow. “Can you save this joke for when we’re in the car and moving?”

“Fine, buzzkill.”

I let her pull me up and hobbled my way into Huo’s cab and onto his fake leather slipcovers, laying my new sword on my lap. Huo, contrary to Maki, was ecstatic to see me – though he didn’t have a good angle on my back, which may have changed things.

“Yo, James! I knew you would survive!”

I clicked my tongue and shot him a finger gun, or, in his general direction, at least. Sliding down the seats had made my eyes water and scrunch up from pain. “Told ya. Man o’ my word, I am.”

“I never doubted you! Where to, youxia?”

I groaned settling into a slightly less painful position. “Take me home, Huo. I’m beat.”

“Absolutely not,” interjected Maki. “Sensei, take us to a hospital. James needs a trauma center immediately.”

“Nah, I got a way to stabilize the wounds.” I yawned. “Way safer than surgery. They’ll want to put me under, and without me controlling my bleeding and manually pumping my heart, they’ll have minutes, maybe seconds, to save me.”

That was my explanation for why I could only die from blood loss while unconscious, or as a result of an attack or ability. It seemed plausible enough to be true; martial artists did all sorts of wild shit. And it was certainly more believable than explaining to the locals they were background actors on an interdimensional reality show.

“Does…this involve the same magic you used to bless me in the restaurant?” she asked, euphemistically referring to the Erotic Sorcery blessing I’d given her with a kiss. I supposed she didn’t want to reveal that to her calligraphy teacher.

I nodded. “Much better solution. I can stay conscious, take it in chunks, almost no danger really. Benefits of magic, huh?”

“I see.” Maki took a deep breath and gathered her resolve, sitting up straighter. “Okay, Huo Sensei, please take us to James’ apartment.”

“Huh?” Oh wow, I must have really been out of it; I hadn’t even considered using Maki. My mind had gone to Marianne. I did want to sleep with the miko, of course – she was beautiful – but I didn’t want to guilt her into it because she thought I was dying. I wanted to seduce her. “It doesn’t have to be you. My neighbor’s a nurse and—oh, wait, phone’s broke. I’d have to go knock…huh. Well, the women next door are, uh, specialists, I guess you’d call them.”

“No, it will be me.” I opened my mouth to respond but she put her finger to my lips. “Don’t bother, it’s a waste of energy. I’m your partner for this mission, aren’t I? It isn’t finished if you’re still actively dying.”

I nodded slowly. Maki patted me on the cheek and moved her hand to my elbow.

Hey, she didn’t have to try that hard to convince me. As long as she didn’t feel conflicted, I wasn’t going to try and talk her out of it. Plus, I didn’t want to disclose my abilities to one of Papes’ whores; the man was literally an information broker. Nor did I want to risk waking all of Marianne’s kids up looking like this to ask her to do sex magic with me. That would be very unneighborly behavior.

Huo drove the car off the sidewalk and back onto the road, the bumps sending lighting shooting through my back. Once we were on the way, I gave Maki a cheeky grin.

“Hey, Huo, guess what I found out.”

“Hm, what’s that?”

“Busting makes me feel bad.”

Huo chuckled. “The Ghostbusters lied to us, eh?”

“I’ll never forgive Ray Parker Jr. for this.”

A firetruck raced past us in the opposite direction, alarms blaring. They were such background noise for me having grown up in the city, that it wasn’t until they were well past that I remembered the distillery fire. In the warmth and safety of the car, the night seemed almost like a bad dream.

Maki looked at me like I was crazy. “Ghostbusters? What are you two talking about?”

Huo sounded scandalized. “You’ve never seen Ghostbusters? What are they teaching the youth these days?”

“Yeah, Maki, you spent all those years researching how to fight a ghost and you never watched Ghostbusters?”

“I don’t understand. Is it a documentary?”

“That’s a good question,” said Huo. “How accurate was the rest of the movie, James?”

“Hmm,” I stroked my chin for effect. “Pretty dead on, actually.”

“Ha! No way!”

“No, it was more or less just straight Ghostbusters down there.”

“Even the part with the ghost blowjob?”

“Huo, you’re not going to believe me. It was mostly the ghost blowjob scene.”

Maki rolled her eyes but didn’t hide her small smile. “Ugh, I knew you were messing with me.”

Huo and I burst into laughter, the chaos of Chinatown fading behind us.


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