Play Test: Stuck in Another World as a Reality TV Contestant

We wrapped the comfortable silence around us like a heavy blanket and huddled close as we caught our breaths. Both of us needed the moment, Maki to come down to Earth after her first proper orgasm, and me to wrangle the bestial lust surging in me down to something more presentable. I had stabilized myself using Erotic Sorcery and was now paying the horny tax.

Maki had one arm wrapped tightly around my thigh and the other stretched up and behind her around my neck. The position looked uncomfortable, but so did the aftershocks which were making her twitch and tremble, and she was clearly enjoying those. My finger was still inside her, trapped by her legs which were squeezed tight around my hand. I had let my telekinetic hold over her go loose, enjoying the feeling of Maki claiming possession over my limb with her thighs.

Primal masculine pride roared inside me for having reduced the proud woman to this state; this was the highest form of flattery a man could receive, or so said my raging libido. It evoked all kinds of urges. I could have kept her here on the knife’s edge of pleasure, pushing her over into ecstasy at my leisure, but first, I needed to think.

While my miko recovered, I opened the mental menus of the system. It was almost painful to think about numbers, resources, and any future plans that didn’t include busting a nut as soon as possible. But I had a fair bit of Experience burning a hole in my pocket and some reasons to consider spending it.

From worst to best, I had to acknowledge my gradually rising baseline level of stress. There wasn’t a sanity mechanic related to stress in the game so as a Character it was incapable of affecting me, but as a person, it was beginning to chafe. Surprisingly, it was my James half who was the most affected. While the man was accustomed to combat and physical hardship, in many ways he had lived a blissful existence; he was a handsome, charming, genius martial artist with more friends than he could count, a thoughtful mentor in Kas, a promising start to his dream career, and above all else, a community in Black Harbor. I supposed that was what you got when you built a character without starting Complications. But now I was hunted in my own city, unable to walk even the streets of Chinatown openly, and that, to James Li, was an intolerable fate.

My Alan half, on the other hand, had not been a handsome, charming, genius of any kind, but he had also never known the safety of Black Harbor, and so was less affected by recent developments. There was plenty to stress Alan, but his shocks had come all at once and that part of me leveled out a little every time I got stronger and thus more likely to survive.

Still, some retail therapy could do wonders for the odd couple that made up my psyche. Specifically, I was drawn towards upgrading the apartment with one, or at most two Base Upgrade Tokens. Even a minor but visible improvement to one’s living space could do wonders for mental health, in my experience. The reason for doing so now and not after Maki had left, was that because of the way the discounts worked, the minimum being one Token, it would cost me as much to buy ordinary luxury furniture as it would to buy furniture that would grant various bonuses. While I was worried about what an apartment furnished to give me a bonus to Seduction and Erotic Sorcery would look like, it would be useful while trying to heal myself with a huge penalty.

Maki was the next best reason to spend a little Experience. It felt right to invest some power into deepening our relationship; I had done it for both Marianne and Annie before, after all, to great effect each time. It was beginning to feel like tradition. The seduction and sex were going well so far, but who was to say if, in a few days, she didn’t look back at it as a fun but ultimately one-time ‘medical procedure’, as she’d called it. Maki seemed like a person who rigorously planned out her stress relief, the kind of uptight where you let it all loose for a few days at a music festival every year. If I wanted to be more than something she penciled into her schedule when she had a need, then I had to be more than a good time, I had to be transcendent.

Said process of becoming transcendent was the best reason to spend the Experience. It almost always made sense to upgrade Skills and Attributes right before you finished a Quest that would probably Reward you with them; just like I’d done in the restaurant before meeting the Kami. The system did a great job disincentivizing hoarding your EXP, you were only devaluing future Rewards by holding onto it. I had given myself a modest incentive to keep a cache for Style Maker despite that, but I was about to earn more anyway.

“It feels angry,” said Maki, wiggling her lower back against my painfully hard penis. I hissed, not anticipating how sensitive it would be, and earned myself a pleased hum from Maki.

“Yep,” I said through gritted teeth. Yikes, this was worse than my first time; a particularly stiff breeze could have made me nut. “The cost of healing yourself through sex magic.”

“Fortuitous for our purposes. And the healing, how did it go?”

I withdrew my finger from inside her and wrapped her in a grateful hug. Maki sighed wistfully, missing the digit, I liked to think. “Thanks to you, I’m no longer in any danger of bleeding to death, though I am still quite injured…” I trailed off as it finally hit me what that meant. “Oh my God, we did it. We actually did the thing!”

It was touch and go for…all of it, honestly. Our plan had been solid, but it was luck that had kept me alive; the dice gods were on my side. If only I could have championed them instead of Funikugami.

“Yatta,” said Maki tiredly, laughing as she put her fist into the air.

“Yatta!” I agreed.

Maki let out a great exhale, and with the breath went what remained of her anxieties and fears, and whatever stiffness may have remained in her body and expressions. She languidly twisted herself in my arms so that she could see my face better and smiled. At that moment, she looked weightless, like she’d have floated away if I hadn’t held her close.

She kissed me chastely on the cheek. I felt myself blush for some reason. “Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it,” I mumbled, suddenly shy. It was the level of gratitude she was quietly emanating, I told myself. I was momentarily overwhelmed by it, that was all. “So,” I said, cheerily changing the subject, “how was the orgasm? Looked fun.”

Her eyes twinkled, and I could tell that she was letting me off easy. “It was wonderful. I suddenly understand far better the behaviors of so many of my peers. It’s like you’ve unlocked a deeper understanding of people in me.”

“Oh no, Ishida Maki has become more insightful? I’ve created a monster.”

She laughed, laying her head against my chest. “I’ve got to keep up with you in my own way, don’t I? You should know, I’m no one’s sidekick. We will be partners, James Li. I’ll keep you alive even if I have to drag you from Death’s arms myself.” I felt a heat rise to my cheeks, and without looking up at me, Maki added, “You’re very cute when you blush, by the way.”

Maki’s borrowed button-up, already big enough to work as a dress, was wrinkled and barely hanging off her. The back of it, where she’d been pressed up against me, was mostly transparent from the sweat. I slid my hand under the shirt and traced a path up her spine; she felt pleasantly cool to my touch. To her, I must have felt like a living space heater – a consequence of my continuing to kindle my fire-natured Qi.

“You know I won’t call you in on the gang stuff, right?”

“Why not? Surely you aren’t so foolish as to believe they don’t have their own spiritualists and practitioners, or at the very least access to contractors. What gang is so tight-pursed that they won’t shell out for magical assistance against the man seen banishing evil with great conflagrations of flame?”

It sounded stupid, but I genuinely hadn’t considered it. There would be guys with supernatural abilities of course, but I thought they would be like me, martial artists. I’d forgotten that not everyone in this world shared my commitment to the genre. In a movie, I’d run a gauntlet through the Tiger Gang in an ascending order of fights with increasingly stronger, and thus more important, officers. But this wasn’t a movie, and the Tiger Triad weren’t like the sort of gangs you’d see in an action flick. The Tong in Black Harbor was one of many around the world, and together they were a multi-billion-dollar organization.

Maki laughed, having evidently read my expression. “The world is so small for you martial artists, it must be nice. If you can’t punch the problem, it may as well not exist. Give me your word that you will at least keep me informed of your adventures, and I will determine if I can be of use or not. If I can’t, then I promise to stay out of your way. That’s perfectly reasonable, I think you’ll admit.”

I nodded amiably, hardly opposed to the idea of her help. “I suppose so, can’t argue with that. You’ve got my word. I’ll even go a step further and promise that I’ll likewise do my best to stay out of your way with the animist stuff. I’m definitely never making a deal with a Kami again without you present.”

I pointedly tried not to think about the cursed short sword now resting in my umbrella stand.

“Deal,” she said, patting my cheek approvingly. “But don’t be so hard on yourself. It worked out for the best in the end. And anyway,” she gave me a cheshire grin, and maneuvering a bit, placed her hand on my covered cock, “you have another promise to keep, something about, leaving me a cum-covered mess.”

I coughed, as though I’d been punched in the gut, and clenched my jaw as I fought back an accidental ejaculation. Maki studied my face with an almost manic intent, biting her lower lip, and emitting a sharp spike of erotic energy. I may have awakened something in her.

“Woah, woah, hang on,” I rushed out. “I need a sec before we get going.”

“Hmm, fine, but it’s rude to keep a lady waiting.”

Shit, I had to spend this Experience before we got going. My attention was already increasingly consumed by the aftereffects of the spell.

Impulse control significantly weakened, I bought the Upgrade Token and the magical self-cleaning luxury furniture I’d been eyeing, enhanced to give bonus Dice to Seduction and Erotic Sorcery. I was too horny to care about what that might look like until the instant between buying the upgrade and before it appeared.

In a blink, I was sitting on a beautiful, silk Persian rug, woven with an entrancing geometric pattern. The couch next to us was now low and wide, meant for lounging upon. Likewise, the rest of the furniture in the room transformed to fit its 70’s chic aesthetic. There was a strong motif of barely constrained sexuality running through the changes, with an altogether vast variety of surfaces to fuck upon. I now owned a loveseat wide enough for three, a long backless lounge, a bearskin rug, several strong chairs, and there were now sturdy stools installed by the half wall on the other side of the kitchen. All of the little statues and bowls decorating things weren’t explicitly vulgar, but they had a distinct femininity to their curves that managed to subtly call to mind thighs, and butts, and breasts. On the wall were framed posters with sensual art of men with their shirts torn open and women swooning half-dressed from old movies that I recalled enjoying, which was a nice personal touch. Altogether, I could have imagined buying all of it, if only in a shameless pussy-deprived haze. At least it would save time in the future, there was no question what I wanted out of a woman I invited here.

Maki looked all the more beautiful in the perfect, warm lighting. She too was getting a bonus to Seduction while inside the apartment.

The miko was also looking around in startled amazement, placing a tentative finger on the couch next to us to check if it was real. “True creation,” she muttered to herself. “What on Earth…”

“A large and probably silly permanent investiture of power,” I explained. “But I thought about it, and having cum- and blood-stain-proof furniture is going to make life considerably easier.”

“Kami-sama…” She was now running her palm on the silk carpet below, staring at the design in fascination. “This is…no, it can’t be…”

I took advantage of her stunned state to consider my options. It made the most sense to buy a Skill or Attribute I was likely to earn as high as possible to unlock Style Maker's greatest potential. Unfortunately, one of them stood above the rest – a most shameful option.

With regret, I sank 170 EXP from my remaining 183 into Occultism (Erotic Sorcery) taking it to 10 Dice. I was now as skilled at sex magic as I was the martial arts. And worse, I was probably about to get better. It was humiliating. I was officially lost in the sauce. How could I have sunk so low as to become a dweeb wizard, a finger-waggling nerd?

I’m kidding, of course. It was the most useful for healing me and I was already very sick of my Injury Penalty. But jokes aside, it did irk my sense of self and my more artistic sensibilities. I was a roguish action hero, not a sorcerer. And more than that, I was a good Player, damn it, not the type to let optimization get in the way of my character concept.

I resolved, then and there, that any more ranks of Erotic Sorcery I received would come with a self-inflicted tax. I could handle being a magically sexy kung fu man, but a kung fu sex magician? No way. From now on, I swore, no matter what my other priorities, if Erotic Sorcery ever outpaced Martial Arts, I’d drop anything to get the latter to level or better. That was both a promise to myself and, if my ephemeral Audience were able to hear my thoughts, then to Them as well.

You bastards better remember this when it comes to the next Popularity Poll! Is anyone committing to the bit as hard as that? I bet not! I mentally shouted at the heavens. And then, for good measure, imagined shaking my fist up at them.

“I was right,” said Maki softly. Then again louder and faster, “I was right. You really aren’t a man at all. Can I make an educated guess, James?”

“Uh, sure. Although, I should say I’m pretty raring to go here.” Indeed, I could barely tell left from right. I’d checked all the boxes off my list like a responsible adult, and could now go buck wild crazy with it, also like a responsible adult.

She gave my dick an affectionate pat on the head, drawing a groan from me. “I can tell, don’t worry. Allow me this small delay though. Am I right to assume that you can only do such an act as this,” she said, gesturing around her, “here, in your home?”

I blinked at her. “How…could you possibly have deduced that?”

“Just a guess, like I said. There are many beings known to shape and warp their private spaces, poltergeists most famously with their doors to nowhere and hallways that don’t match the apparent shape of the building, but most Kami as well. I’ll spare you my theorizing for when you’re less distracted, however. The reason I wanted to know, is because this,” she said, rapping her knuckles against the couch to our side, “reaffirms my theories about why I don’t need to worry about my sexuality or opinions about human lovers.”

With a small but very imperious smile, Maki pushed her front against me and slithered her way up my body until her cheek was pressed against mine. I cursed the bandages I was wearing for muting the sensation on my chest; her shirt was of little impediment, already thin and practically transparent at this point, but the coarse gauze barely let me feel a thing.

Voice throaty and naked with desire, she said, “That’s lucky for you, my man-shaped hero. Just as we were about to get to a point where my faith in my reasoning might have been shaken, I was thoroughly validated by the most flagrant display of inhuman power I’ve ever seen. That means I can, without shame or inhibitions, treat you like I would treat any beautiful woman in this position.”

She nuzzled her cheek, refreshingly cool, against mine, and taking a page from my book, leaned close enough to my ear that I could just barely feel her lips as they moved. “Do you know how I like to treat beautiful women, James?” I felt her fingertips on my hips, between the gauze and the waistband of my boxers. They started at my sides and were moving slowly to meet beneath my belly button. “I like to make them mewl and squirm, and to steal their breaths and words until all they can do…” She paused dramatically, sneaking a dainty hand into my boxers. “…is moan my name.”

I slapped the couch next to me, grabbing a fistful of its upholstery as she took a firm hold around the base of my cock. “Tss, Maki!” I hissed through my teeth, knowing it was what she wanted to hear. It was like I’d thrown a match on kerosene-soaked charcoal; Her body thrummed and began to emit whirling tendrils of lust energy. They tasted clean and new to my senses and had a sort of frenetic curiosity to them that fit Maki well.

“Yes,” she exclaimed triumphantly, “just like that! Good boy–hm, no that doesn’t fit you. Good…man—no. Hero? Better, but you’d become unbearable if I called you that too often. Oh, I know! Yes, that’s perfect.” Maki pulled back to look me in the eyes, rubbing the tip of her nose on mine in a shockingly romantic gesture. Then, adopting a mock air of noble severity, said, “Well done, my samurai. You’ve pleased your Lady.”

I laughed and kissed her. “I’m glad, but I’m no samurai, miko-sama. What will your people say when they learn you’ve run off with a, what did you call me earlier, a homeless vigilante? It’ll be a great scandal.”

“Oho! You’re mistaken. They will all say, ‘Have you heard of the great Ishida Maki? She is so wise and fair, that she dragged up a young, wild yokai from the river, taught him manners, and made him her samurai.’ Then, they will see us together and think to themselves, what a remarkable feat to have quelled a beast such as he. Of course, I will be secretly thinking, Kami-sama, I hope they don’t see him eating his dinner.”

I gave her a toothy grin then dragged my tongue, broad and flat, across her face from chin to ear. Maki blushed bright red, and I reveled in the small victory. “Oh yes, I hope so too. They’d be terrible voyeurs, watching me eat my helpless miko for dinner.”

“Ugh, you brute,” she said laughing. “Making a mess as usual.” Giving me, mildly vindictive, bedroom eyes, she pulled her hands out of my boxers, and with a finger, swiped my saliva off her face and wiped it clean on her bottom lip. My cock somehow found a way to grow harder.

Maki peeled herself off me, sitting back on her heels, and frowned down at her shirtdress. “Just look at me, you’ve made me completely sweat through this shirt. Take it off for me. Gently,” she added quickly, catching a gleam in my eyes, “I’ve decided to keep it as a nightdress. I can, can’t I?”

She batted her eyes at me, large and doe-like. My heart stirred; even if I’d wanted to, I couldn’t deny her the request now.

“Only if you send me pictures of you wearing it.”

She scoffed, but a grateful smile shadowed her annoyed expression. “If I must.”

Maki pushed her chest out and held her arms to the side, allowing me to undo the few buttons still holding the shirt closed. I began from the bottom and took my time unwrapping her pale, smooth flesh inch by inch. She ran her fingers through my hair and watched me with a distant half-smile and a vacant gaze.

“I’d say I was dreaming, but I haven’t had a good dream since…so, I must be alive. How strange, to be alive,” she sounded out the word, chewing on it. “I haven’t really been living, I don’t think, whatever that means. I think I died when Ken did – I must have, because suddenly I feel as though I’ve been reborn. Yet it isn’t resurrection, I’m not the same Maki I was before all this, and I’m not the Maki you met, who I’m not sure was me at all. I’ve no idea who I am now, but I know I’m stronger and fuller somehow.” She shook her head. “I’m rambling, kiss me.”

I grinned and obliged her. There were thoughts I could have shared, but it was not the time to discuss them. We shared a slow, passionate kiss, no tongues, just our lips silently communicating our mutual care for one another.

“I don’t want to think about anything or anyone but you tonight, James. Kiss me if I start to wax philosophical. Choke me, spank me, slap me, or whatever, but just don’t let me think, and don’t let my mind wander away. Keep me here with you. You can do that, can’t you, my samurai?”

I undid the last button on her collar, held her cheek in my palm, and kissed her sweetly again. That was all very nice, but I knew her better than that by now. Maki was goal-oriented, even a little one would go a long way to keeping her calm. It would be much easier for both of us, compared to dominating her outright.

I leaned back and smirked. “Of course, I’m the greatest lover in the city. I can do that and more. But you’ll have to work very hard amidst all of it if you want me to call you ‘my Lady’. Listen up,” I said, sticking my finger at her, “even in your wildest fantasies, James Li is a proud youxia!”

The dreamlike air that had come upon her departed and her suave confidence returned. Her eyes shined and her lips curled up with anticipation. Then, she bit my finger. Not hard enough to hurt, of course, but the surprise cut through my bluster. Her teeth retracted, replaced by her lips and tongue as she suckled on the tip.

She pulled herself off with an almost comical pop. “Hmph, rude vagabond. Challenge accepted.”