Phantom Blade Zephyr: One Piece

I can now totally empathize with those villains who use threats to do the job. Threats work, period.

I mean... I just turned a twenty-minute episode into a two-minute blooper. People were avoiding me like I'm the fucking plague, but that's to be expected. At least Dalton was keeping me company. Or was he just ensuring that I don't accidentally kill someone?

No, that must not be it.

Yes, I am going to keep deluding myself on the fact that Dalton is with me because he likes me. At least due to my intervention, the villagers seem to like the Straw Hats. Vivi made it clear that I wasn't part of their crew and claimed I'd just threatened them into giving me a ride to Alabasta. She knew I'd overheard her. She just didn't care. Not that she's wrong. I don't care either. I mean, I'm a pirate, for god's sake. I can't always be the nice guy.

I've noticed something else—my temper. I haven't exactly been able to control it lately. The situation before did not require me to use Conqueror's Haki. Plus, keeping it a secret doesn't really work when you use it at the very first island you set foot on.

Which also begs the question of my mental sanity. I have spent three years on an uninhabitable island just after I've escaped a traumatic life-and-death situation. I'm going to need some time to properly integrate into society.

But for now, I'm fine being the scary dude who gets people to listen. Anyway, few people on this side of the sea could actually kill me. Wow. Arrogance—that's another thing I should probably keep in check.

Once we reached Bighorn, Luffy and Sanji went off toward the castle to meet Dr. Kureha, while Dalton took me to their communications office. I asked him to clear the building; the last thing I needed was someone eavesdropping.

Purupuru-Purupuru-Purupuru

After ringing three times someone received the call, an unfamiliar voice,

"Hello, who's this?"

"Is this the control room of The Polar Tang?"

"Yes, who are you?"

"Just get Law or Bepo on the line. Tell them that Zephyr has called."

The newbie hesitated. "I can't just call our captain or first mate for a random phone call—"

Ah, fucking newbie! They are so exhausting! Well, let's try another approach.

"Look, kid, I get that you're new here. But if you don't inform them that I've called, then you're gonna be sent back to whatever crappy island you came from first thing in the morning. So, just inform Ikkaku or Penguin that I've called, and they'll know what to do."

"O...Okay." The newbie was a lot more docile now.

I might get addicted to this. Threatening people, that is.

Soon, another voice joined the line.

"Oi, who the fuck are you, and why are you pretending to be our dead friend?"

"Awww, Uni! You called me your friend!"

"What the fuck! That creepy voice!" Uni was clearly surprised. "How the fuck are you alive?"

"Just call everyone, would you? Have I got a story to tell you guys?"

Uni did as I asked and called the crew. But Law wasn't as trusting as him.

"Look, you have the same voice as him. But there can easily be any devil fruit that can do that. So, I'll ask you a question that only the original Z would know. Is it okay with you?"

"Sure." I didn't complain. This was standard procedure.

"Now," Law's voice becoming serious, "Tell me how did you buy your sword?"

"Are you fucking kidding with me right now?" I yelled.

"Answer the question." Law said in an icy voice.

"By stealing from the emergency fund."

"And how much do you owe us?" Now, he was just messing with me.

"Seriously, dude?""

"Well, what do you want me to do? I just heard back from our dead friend three years after he supposedly died. And after explicitly promising me that he won't die." Anger was clear in his voice.

"Look, man..."

"Do you know we held a funeral for you?" He interrupted me. The anger was gone, replaced by sadness. I could already tell the others were crying. 'They are too soft', I thought as I rubbed my eyes. Law continued,

"We gave you a pirate's funeral. We had a party and everything."

It seems like they gave me a funeral just so they could have a party.

"Look, just hear me out, okay?" If this sad fest goes on, then Luffy would already beat another king before they're finished. So, I told them what happened. I told them how Vergo crushed me and how I escaped. Then I told them about how I got lucky and survived.

After I finished my story, Law sounded pissed.

"I'm going to kill that son of a bitch!"

"Don't you dare do something stupid! And besides, Vergo is mine. I will personally ensure that he's dead."

"I understand. Where are you right now? We'll come pick you up."

"I'm currently in Drum Island. I took a ride with another pirate group. They'll drop me off in Alabasta."

"That's actually really far from where we are right now. That's going to be a problem."

"Oh, don't worry. I have some business I need to take care of first."

"What're you going to do?"

"Well, there's this sword I want..."

Hearing my response, Law just laughed. "You haven't changed at all, have you?"

"Hey! It's a really great sword, okay?" I protested.

"Whatever. Just tell me when and where you want to meet up."

"Okay, I'll call you when it's time."

Suddenly, a huge commotion erupted outside. The Heart Pirates heard it too. Bepo was the one who spoke.

"Why are people shouting? What's happening there?"

I was annoyed. "I don't know. This island is like a landmine for trouble."

Or a particular pirate crew.

"Deal with that for now. Just don't disappear again, okay?"

"Okay, promise. Take care, guys!"

As the call ended, my attention went towards the chaos on the outside. But what greeted me was something that I never expected.

A full-blown avalanche rushing down the mountain toward us!

And I just somehow knew in my guts who caused it!

"Mugiwara no Luffy!"