PERSONAL

Chapter 12: Summer Break Part 1

"Ah, Angie. It's been a while," Leon said with a genial look.

I flinched. Ever since I came to terms with the fact that Olivia was not pursuing the heirs and was focused solely on Leon, I have been conflicted about handling the situation. While I doubted Leon could or would push for my execution, it couldn't be a coincidence that Olivia switched her attention to him.

It didn't help that Leon was friendly with the girl despite my misgivings. Add in the fact that Leon's rise to prominence was completely absent in my previous life, something that should have been impossible based on what I had seen, it felt that the world was rearranging itself to maintain a certain future event. The creeping sense of doom hung over these discrepancies that still mirrored the circumstances that led to my execution.

"Angie, is everything okay?" Leon asked when I had not responded for some time.

"Ah, yes. I've just been far too busy as of late."

It was a half-truth. I had certainly been busy as of late due to politics, but it was honestly a convenient excuse for me not to see Leon. My heart clenched at that. It was unfair that the world saw fit to make my friend the potential arbiter of my doom.

"Ah, would you like to have a break and have some tea? I've also recently got my hands on some new confections that I believe will pair well with your usual brew," he said with a gentle and understanding smile.

"My apologies, Leon. I'm afraid I will be unable to take you up on your offer. I'm to meet Lady Roseblade as part of the deal for her participation in the pirate raid."

"Deirdre?"

"Ah. Apologies. Deirdre wants me to meet her elder sister Dorothea to discuss potential suitors for her. Due to your friends' praise, Deirdre believes I may be able to find Dorothea a suitable match."

"Errr... Will that be problematic for you?"

"That remains to be seen."

Truthfully, I had little optimism. The Roseblades were a count family. As an upper noble, it was abnormal for Dorothea to be unattached both from a political perspective and because upper noblewomen typically had access to the best men. By all rights, she should have been happily married to other upper noblemen. Her situation did not speak well of her.

Obviously, I could not state my misgivings aloud for propriety's sake and to not accidentally anger the family.

"If there's anything I can do to help," Leon said hesitantly.

"No need for concern. While I'll put in the appropriate effort, a success matching is not an explicit requirement."

"Won't failure be bad for you still?"

"Hence why I will still be putting forward the appropriate effort."

"... Angie... is everything okay?"

"Huh?"

"Maybe I'm reading into things, but you seem tense."

"Everything is fine. All this talk about engagements made me recall a rather heated conversation with the Queen. She wasn't particularly happy with me," I quickly lied to mask my true discomfort. I couldn't exactly explain that he was the source of my discomfort. He couldn't possibly understand.

Leon looked unconvinced but nodded to show he at least was willing to take my words at face value.

After that, we remained silent. As the seconds ticked by, I couldn't help but ponder how deeply ingrained Olivia was in Leon's heart.

Hesitantly, I asked, "Are Carla and the scholarship student okay? I couldn't check in on them with everything that's been going on." I made sure to mention Carla to mask my true intentions.

Leon gave me a queer look despite how I phrased my question. Even though it was a reasonable question, the fact that I expressed concern for Olivia was likely too far out of character for me.

"Carla actually asked to be my retainer."

"Truly?"

How odd. I would have thought Carla would have latched herself to the most influential player, namely me. Then again, she just escaped Stephanie's tyranny. Carla likely feared me despite my promises. It could also be that I had intimidated her with my admittedly aggressive push for her betrayal of her former suzerain.

"She mentioned that as a former vassal of the Offrey's, her prospects were poisoned. Carla playing a prominent role in betraying Stephanie only made her prospects even though she was in the right."

"So? Did you accept?"

"I'm not even sure what I would need to do."

"Hmm... I would suggest talking to Clarice about such matters. She has much more experience regarding taking in new vassals, and is unlikely to put you in a situation that could be taken advantage of."

It would also assuage some of my fears if he and Clarice got closer from this. Leon pairing off with Clarice, while something I hoped to occur naturally, was now more imperative for me. So long as Leon did not fall for the scholarship student's wiles, I need fear little of Olivia causing my death.

A well of self-disgust sprung within my chest. It felt wrong to attach such tainted feelings to my friends' happiness. But in the end, at least Leon would be matched to a good woman, and Clarice would have the good man she deserved. Was it so wrong for me to wish for their happiness with the added bonus that their successful relationship would potentially stop my impending doom.

Refocusing my attention, I saw Leon take on a conflicted look.

"Is something the matter?" I asked.

"Ah... it's kind of embarrassing now that I think about it."

"I promise not to laugh."

"Are... it's nothing," he muttered.

"Sorry, but Clarice really does have more experience in this than I do," I winced as I felt I was letting him down.

"No reason to apologize. You're right in telling me that Clarice would be the best person to get advice from."

"... She's not bothering you, is she?"

"Huh? Oh! Not at all. She's a lovely girl. It's just..."

"Yes?"

"She just... seems conflicted lately. I think Jill's actions left a deeper scar on her heart than we had thought."

I scowled.

"Could you talk to her? I feel she needs another girl to help talk her through this."

"Of course. I'll schedule something before the next semester," I said gently.

Leon still looked conflicted.

"Leon?"

"It's nothing. You'd best go to your meeting. We've been talking for quite some time."

"Huh? Oh right."

"I'll see you next semester?"

"Yes," I said as I watched the boy start walking away.

I noticed he had avoided talking about Olivia. With the truth about the situation in mind, his reluctance to speak about Olivia deepened my worries. It was how it started in the previous life.

...

Entering the parlor, I saw the person whom I would be getting to know shortly. She was a rather beautiful woman, but her charm was utterly ruined by the sheer air of apathy she exuded. Dorothea likely did not see the point in this meeting, and to be fair, why would she expect anything from a first-year?

Still, I had a job to do, especially now that I had definitely thrown my lot with the Roseblades and because Mylene thought I was establishing a new power bloc.

"Greetings, Lady Dorothea."

"Greetings, Lady Angelica."

"So your sister tells me you've little luck in finding an acceptable spouse."

"Alas, none of the men whom I've met have been able to keep my interest beyond the interview."

I could believe that. She looked positively bored and unbothered by the prospect of being disgraced for marrying too late.

"If I may ask, what do you find so... boring about your suitors."

She scoffed.

"I've little interest in spineless men nor those who expect a breeding sow."

"... Breeding sow? They actually said that?"

"Not explicitly, but the implication was there when their temper ran."

"And what exactly did you say to spark such a reaction?"

"I simply presented them the test I give to all my suitors."

"A test of character? Is not the marriage interview a test of character in of itself?"

"Bah. Marriage interviews are nothing more than people dressing up to uphold a veil of civility for the sake of business. It's nothing more than a charade. Nothing of true substance. No, I want to see their true character with none of the masks. After all, if I am to marry someone, I want to be bound to someone whose very being calls to me."

I could see her point. Even though I was of the mind that how one conducted oneself was as much of an indicator of character as any other test of character, it may be that Dorothea prioritized specific characteristics that normal marriage interviews would not be able to reveal due to the expectations and norms modulating one's behavior.

"Perhaps it's best we get back on topic. What exactly is your test of character?"

"I ask the man to put on a dog collar."

"... Excuse me?"

She pulled out a red dog collar connected to a chain in response to my confusion. The collar also had little spikes protruding from it. Thankfully, it protruded outward. I was a bit concerned that it could have been pointed inwards with how odd this test of character was.

"I simply tell my suitors to become my pet," Dorothea said dismissively while twirling the collar on her finger.

"And they either obey, run away, or try to put you in your place, I presume?"

"Exactly."

"Quite frankly, given what you have told me, I can't for the life of me figure out what the correct answer is supposed to be."

"Neither do I."

"Excuse me."

"I don't know what response I'm looking for, but I'll know when I hear it."

Breathe. I needed to breathe and maintain my composure. No wonder Deirdre joined my plan so easily. When even Dorothea doesn't know what she wants, what hope did the suitors have?

"... That will make it hard to narrow down my search. Might I ask which of the responses so far you found more acceptable than the others?"

"Mmm, I suppose I found those who were confrontational to be more interesting to say the very least."

"The ones who implied you were only good for popping out children?"

"No, not those. Those specifically I hated."

"So there were other responses you found more acceptable?"

"I suppose those who talked about putting me in my place were interesting until they actually stated my place."

"Beneath them?"

"... Now that you mention it, that did seem to be a common theme."

"Is it that you want a mutual relationship?"

"Maybe?"

"... Perhaps you could maybe alter your test to garner a less extreme reaction? Chances are that the test is too disrespectful that the majority of suitors will take it as an insult and are merely reacting as if you never had the intention of learning about them."

"But that's the point. I want to see them for who they truly are. If a man were to break all etiquette from a small slight, does that not indicate that they would have been prone to abuse or violence?"

"You would have a point if it were not the fact that you are essentially telling strangers to accept such disrespect from a potential fiancée with no positive feeling to fall back on. To them, you look as though you never were going to marry them despite whatever resource they had put in to even land a marriage interview with you and are taunting them. Reacting negatively is hardly unexpected or unreasonable. It's hardly an indication of a proclivity for violence."

"I still find it a good filter for removing the spineless from my view."

"Under the assumption that you wish for an equal, your test is flawed in that anyone who would be willing to treat you as an equal would have to, by necessity, put you in your place, which is an act that puts them above you."

"I can see discussing any further won't be of any help. So let me make this clear. I will not be changing my test," Dorothea said defiantly before turning her gaze away and gesturing me away.

The nerve of this girl.

She was going to die a spinster or be married to some noble who would have no compunction against beating some sense into her.

Finding a nobleman who could fit her criteria was likely impossible.

"Very well. I'll see what I can do," I politely said as I little choice but to entertain her stubbornness.

As I got up to leave, I had to both thank and curse Deirdre. I cursed her for saddling me with this task, but at least she told me she didn't truly expect me to succeed.

Yet the thought of acting under the presumption of failure rankled senses just enough that I knew I was going to spend an annoying amount of time trying to succeed.

....

AN:

1) Leon and Angelica's relationship is starting to strain as Angelica is starting to become wary of Leon due to her trauma starting to act up. Small things such as not hanging out, not being candid, and general awkwardness. Nothing too major but can fester if left unattended. Also nothing too unreasonable a response since Angelica doesn't want to lose Leon, but when you have an axe on your neck...

2) This arc is going to be mostly focused on Angelica meeting individuals during the break to establish new plots points and detail the changed relationship dynamics.

3) I'm not sure how well I did Dorothea due to how illogical she kind of is in canon. I settled on focusing more on her stubbornness with some focus on the idea that she isn't too sure what she wants herself.

....

Review Response:

Sperance: General stability since removing the Holfort's likely leads to a massive civil war, arguments on who should lead after the dust settles, more civil war from that, and then several follow up invasions since every other country seems to hate the Kingdom.

Guest: Except Mylene did not come up with the plot to weaken the border nobles. That was something that happened way before her and mutated into what it was today to the point she had no clue how to fix it. Admittedly, she does deserve some crap since she basically said it was too troublesome to fix and was still working. Also, Mylene here is trying to find the alternative by entreating Angelica to give Julius a chance, but comes off as a scolding for aren't because ultimately that is the type of relationship she has with Angelica. As for the Duke not accepting a miserable engagement, the novel has stated many times his greatest desire in life is to see his grandchild on the throne. So yes, he would totally sell his daughter for that.