Pathbreakers: Multiclassing For Fun And Profit

We scour the Halloween section for loot and usable items. The various costumed mannequins drop clothes that have small stat bonuses but aren't better than ballistic body armor so we take what we can without using much. We all hoover up a good deal of Sacagaweas and promise to have a hell of a lunch after we're done here.

Henry Gallup finds a Sheriff's Badge that's not too bad.

Gen-u-wine Sheriff Badge. This brass star indicates to crooks that you're the law in this here town. +3 Strength, Dexterity and Luck.

Diaz grabs a firefighter helmet and jacket. She throws the jacket on over her body armor, helmet going into her inventory. It fits because it's men's XL.

Firefighter Helmet. You can see through fire and smoke when the visor is down.

Firefighter Jacket, Black and Yellow. Increases your fire resistance to 75%. When using fire equipment to attack you deal 20% more damage. Your attacks can now strike and destroy fire.

We try out the “destroying fire” part and sure enough, she can friggin cleave her axe into my Flame Thrower to destroy part of the stream.

The best prizes come from the three big baddies though, and I keep them for myself.

Costume Contest, Third Prize. Grants one power of the attached costume to the person wearing said costume. You can't wear more than one of these.

Costume Contest, Second Prize. Grants two powers of the attached costume to the person wearing said costume. You can't wear more than one of these.

Costume Contest, First Prize. Grants three powers of the attached costume to the person wearing said costume. You can't wear more than one of these.

So, if I'm reading that right, you couldn't wear two Third Prizes, but could wear a First, Second and Third prize all at once. Is that right, system computer voice?

This system cannot confirm nor deny ability stacking theories.

Ha, whatever. I think about my girlfriend. Mercy does cosplay, usually Destiny 2 but some other anime ones as well. In fact, I learned about that from the internet. A Kotaku article called “Two Big Reasons Destiny Cosplay Is Awesome” featured Mercy with a large amount of cleavage, portraying the character Mara Sov. I saw the woman in it was going by the handle “lady white hat warlock” and asked my coworker Mercy if it was actually her.

Now that I think about it, it was after seeing her in that outfit that I started getting that feeling in my stomach and then started going to dinner on not dates with her and holy crap how long have I been in love with her?

Anyways, I'll give the prizes to Mercy and see if she can get super space magic powers or whatever from her costumes.

I get Grant to heal us up to conserve health recovery snacks. It takes about half an hour for him to heal, recharge his Faith points enough to heal the next person, and then heal again.

After a bit, we've all recovered and we look to the next hurdle, the Electronics department. I ask, “okay, who's got any magical damage attacks?”

Diaz, Gwen, Grant and Jose raise their hands.

I go down the line. “Jose, you have anything besides electricity?” He looks away guiltily and I move on. “Grant, what do you have?”

He types while holding the cell phone equipped arm up, palm forward. The voice says “Oh light, sear the unclean and vanquish the forbidden!” As the invocation casts a beam of yellow light that's more laser than flashlight shoots from his hand, out about 30 feet before dissipating.

“Okay, that's a maybe on that working versus electricity elementals. Next. Gwen? You got more cool magic card tricks?”

“Yes, ze Magician card can perform minor earth, fire, water or wind attacks, but ze timing of these cards is unreliable as of yet.”

I nod. “Agent Diaz?”

She looks at my empty hand. “Make another fire sword. Give it to me. Done.” I shrug and make another Burning Blade and fork it over. I go ahead and make one for Henry as well and Diaz gives him the helpful pointer “You attack with the pointy end.”

I gather the troops and, for the first time, I actually use my Minimap technique. A small replica of the floor we're on appears in my hand. I show the team the route through the electronics department maze and where the monsters were.

Henry asks, “how do you think the monsters have adapted since your last fights?”

Both Jose and I say “ranged attacks” at the same time. He nods to let me explain.

“I beat most of the Watt Elementals by essentially throwing water at them from a distance.”

Odysseus's digital voice comes out, “I don't know, what elementals?”

I shake my head. I'm not doing that bit again. “If they had even a short range zap attack, we'd never have escaped here alive. Attack as far back as possible. As for the electro-lich, maybe he's got better armor than Fast and Furious dvds? Like printers or metal cased laptops?”

Jose nods at that conjecture. “That thing had plenty of firepower, it just couldn't take much damage.”

“Right,” I say. “His attacks take time to charge, so hit him hard and fast. And if you see any TVs with spiraling patterns, shoot them.”

“Even if it's a 97 inch LG OLED 4K TV?” asks Diaz, with a look of sadness in her eyes.

“The real ones are in boxes,” Jose reassures her. “We'll be on the lookout for one for ya.”

-----

After all the prep we actually clear the electronics department pretty quickly and easily. Turns out my ice spell Freezing Beam works just as well as Fluid Fist at popping elementals, but it's way faster so they weren't really a threat. Gwen mercilessly plugged a few TV mimics and when we found the electro-lich Henry just blasted it with 6 rounds of shotgun slugs and the thing came apart in seconds.

We get some interesting, yet not useful items.

Director's Cut DVD. This DVD's edge is razor sharp. If you throw it, it'll probably cut someone real good.

Electro Flail. Basically just a surge protector power strip, but it does electricity damage to things you hit with it. Just don't touch the prongs yourself.

This time Jose sends Nintendo Switches to his inventory “for his kids” and Henry grabs laptops “for needy kids.” Both Odysseus and Madeline pick up the big TVs and Jose and I share in their joy.

We get to the end of the electronics department, where the path goes up into the dark area on the 3rd floor. We all pull down our night vision scopes that are attached to our helmets and we go up. Now with clear vision we basically walk through the two dozen hairy ape creatures. This time there's no light at all and the dumb creatures are armed with staple guns, but those are no match for actual guns and body armor. Then of course, we get to that ladder back down to the 2nd floor. The ladder that leads to toys.

“I gotta go, man,” Jose says, looking forward at the ladder.

“Okay, but hold up.” I turn to the others. “This next thing is optional. Anyone who wants to sit it out and possibly go through menus is welcome to, no shame or anything.”

Henry peers over the ledge into the well lit room below. “What is it?”

“Toys,” Jose says, greed in his voice.

“Jose thinks we'll find real versions of toy guns down there,” I explain.

All of a sudden I have Diaz and Grant's attention. “Like the Quad Shot Hawk Eye?” Diaz asks.

“Or the Triple Threat Stinger?” Grant types out furiously.

“Maybe even the Multibuster 7,” Jose says looking at them.

I look at the three adults who obviously played with foam dart guns too much and sigh. “If all three of you are going I'll probably sit it out. I've got levels to do.”

They shrug and climb the ladder down as I take a seat on a stack of flattened cardboard. I go into my menus and plan out the next direction for my build.

The only problem with my multiclassing is that of time. During a fight I simply don't have enough time to do everything I can do, or want to do. What I need to get now are passive abilities, stuff that'll be working in the background. I mean, unless there's a helpful assistant ability somewhere in these classes and subclasses.

I hear gunfire. I call out, “you guys okay?”

Diaz gives me a loud, “YUP!” so I go back to level ups.

Is there an assistant class, computer voice in my head?

The classes Caller, Summoner and Shaman focus on ‘pets’ that are summoned creatures that can aid you in both battle and everyday life.

Okay, great. I only qualify for the Caller right now. Let's take a look.

Caller

Gain a familiar.

A second step class. Seven subclasses. One class evolution.

Gain 3 Charisma and 2 Constitution upon choosing this class. Two basic or advanced techniques will be learned by your familiar upon taking this class.

Uses Charisma and Constitution.

Upon level up an additional random basic or advanced technique will be granted to your familiar, until all basic and advanced familiar techniques are known. Each level you gain 1 Charisma, 1 Constitution and 3 free points.

Subclasses

Defender - Your familiar takes on a defensive role, learning primarily defense boosting techniques.

Striker - Your familiar takes on an offensive role, learning primarily damaging techniques.

Leader - Your familiar takes on a support role, learning primarily healing techniques.

Controller - Your familiar takes on a foe inhibiting role, learning primarily debuff and status effect techniques.

Hey, a little healing buddy? That sounds ideal. Let's do it!

Please select your Caller subclass!

I choose Leader.

You have gained a familiar. This familiar takes a form that you recognize. What is its form?

I think about a white and blue wolf with wings. Majestic, strong, fast, magical. Its howl signals the last breaths of my foes. Its big furry body becomes my bed at night. It becomes my partner, my equal and trusted ally.

A “White Wind Fenrir” is too high a rank for you to Call. You will be given the closest approximation.

Swirling, spiraling orange beams of light come from all directions and coalesce into a large sphere in front of me. It's almost as tall as I am. Then the sphere continues to condense and becomes half my height. Still good. Something the size of a large dog! Then the sphere shrinks again, to the size of a beach ball. Alright, a regular dog. It shrinks again. It's the size of... A small dog. An okay start, I can probably grow it later and- It shrinks again to about the size of my fist.

The orange sphere fades and turns into a ball of feathers which unfurl and reveal an orange and black striped kitten about the size of my hand. It stretches out and looks up at me with big eyes. The orange feathered wings collapse onto its back. I look up at the ceiling and shout “Dracosys, you are a dick!”

I look back down at the kitten, who tilts its head at me and meows. I squint annoyedly at the exact opposite of what I imagined. “Alright, but I'm still calling you Barbatos.”

We hear an explosion from the toy department and a cloud of dust puffs up the ladder. I lean over and shout down, “You guys need help?”

“We're good!” comes Jose's reply.

Gunfire continues and I hear robotic voices saying “I love you so much!”

Anyways, back to Barbatos. I have a new menu option: Familiar.

Feathery Kitten

Rank: Basic

Level: 1

Techniques:

Healing Paw - Recover a target's health by touching them.

Sad Meow - Reduce the familiar's likelihood of being attacked.

I sigh and look down at the kitten who is currently chewing on my shoelace. “Well Barbatos, we can get you some kitten chow on the 5th floor.” I reach down to pet the little ball of fluff. He is pretty cute. I bet Mercy would like- Ah! The little fucker bit me! Jesus, I'm bleeding.

I notice Gwen hovering over my shoulder. “Did our fearless leader gain a precious baby cat?”

“One, I'm not fearless, I'm fear agnostic. Two,” I look sheepishly at the kitten. “Yeah, I got a fluff ball. Caller class gives you a Familiar but NOT necessarily the one you want.”

She pats me on the shoulder. “Then allow me to be ze first to congratulate ze new papa.”

“Oh is that a cat?” Henry asks, sensing that someone other than him has gained the attention of others. “I'm more of a dog person myself.”

“So am I!” I throw my hands up in frustration.

We hear the screaming of small children from down the ladder. “What was that?” Henry yells back.

A few seconds pass and we hear Grant's digital voice. “Baby dolls. Not real humans. We are fine and require no assistance.”

The glow of flames lights up the area down there and we hear Diaz laugh maniacally.

“So anyways, this kitten can apparently heal wounds,” I say. The kitten is now on its back playing with the shoelace. Ah, Barbatos is a girl.

Henry Gallup crouches down and extends his arm. “Great, have him, sorry, have her heal these scratches I still have.”

The kitten ignores Henry. I try commands. “Okay Barbatos, heal Henry!” Ignored. “Healing Paw!” Ignored. “Could you stop playing with my shoelace?” The cat briefly stops, does a head tilt and meow, then continues to eat my shoelace.

I check my menus. No options for commands. I check my spells and techniques. I have no new ones to control her. I pick up Barbatos and she immediately bites and claws into my hand.

“Soooo, I think this is just a cat, actually,” I say with dismay.

“A dog would have obeyed you,” Henry says chidingly. “Why didn't you get a dog?”

I grit my teeth and prepare to argue about fairness when I remember that the Caller class had seven subclasses but I'd only seen 4. Maybe the others show up at level 3? I drop two more of my levels into Caller.

Please select your Caller subclass!

Wild - Your familiar uses their instincts more and acts more like one of its own kind. You lose control of it but it doesn't require your input either.

Far - Your familiar doesn't have to be anywhere near you anymore. There's no distance limit to it.

Star - Your familiar is more powerful at night.

None of these are remotely helpful in bringing little Barbatos to heel. Fuck it, if I take Far Caller at least I can leave her at home.

Maybe if I take more levels of Caller I'll get an ability to control this lil fuzz ball. I drop all of my remaining free levels into Caller, bringing me up to 8 in that class. Aaaaand... Nothing. Did the little scamp get much?

Techniques:

Scratch - Annoy foes while dealing small amounts of damage.

Hairball - Distract everyone nearby by throwing up a hairball.

Food Meow - This technique lets the creature's master know it wants food.

Pets Meow - This technique lets the creature's master know it wants pets.

Litter Box Meow - This technique lets the creature's master know it wants its litter box cleaned.

Go Outside Meow - This technique lets the creature's master know it wants to go outside.

Pure Burble - Let loose a cute burble that clears the heads of allies, disrupting mental attacks against them.

So. I spent EIGHT levels to get a cat that might be useful when it wants to be useful, which is probably never. What a damn waste. Sigh. At least I got some stat points out of it.

Barbatos leaps up onto my shoulder and rubs her face against my face. It is the best thing ever.

“Hey!” I hear Jose shout from below. “Come down here! We cleared it!”

I leave my suddenly blissful state and climb the ladder down, Barbatos riding my shoulder the whole time.

The toy department is littered with broken toys, many with bullet holes in them. Some of the dolls are on fire. There are building blocks, both wooden and plastic, scattered about. Wrestling action figures are chopped in half. There's one really big stuffed rabbit that has Agent Diaz's axe buried in its head, with cotton oozing out like gore. It's a scene from a child's nightmare. Since I used to work the toy department, it's also my nightmare. I am NOT cleaning this up.

“Did you get a cat?” asks Grant's digi-voice.

“Yes, I did. Now what did you guys find?”

Diaz coughs and points at a new shield in her right hand. It looks like it's made of 1 inch cubes arranged like a knight's kite shield, complete with blue and yellow crest. Then she waves her arm and the cubes rearrange into a war axe in the same hand. The axe doesn't look sharp at all but a second later a sharp edge made of glowing white light pops out of the blunt cubes. “Block Arms,” she says. “Has three forms.” She waves her arm again and the cubes rearrange into a large gauntlet over her right hand.

Grant points at a headset he's wearing. He's had to take his helmet off to put on the toy. It's one of those headsets that has voice clips from Pup Police. He presses a button and the Pup Police dog's voice comes out. “This headset lets me think and this dumb dog voice says whatever shit I want it to.” The kids show voice coming from him AND cursing is incredibly jarring.

“Please never do that again,” I say, and he nods and replaces his helmet.

Jose calls from down towards the end of the plastic strewn area. We all approach the holy land with reverence.

The toy gun aisle in the Get! dungeon isn't like a normal aisle with white shelves. Instead it's black wire mesh grating on the walls with steel hooks to hold weapons. It looks like a modern armory. We stare in awe at the arsenal before us.

Dropshot 3 Variable Speed Rifle. This blue and orange rifle shoots cryo rounds like a regular rifle, or at slower speeds so shots can arc around cover. The five-shot revolver chamber has a spin reload feature when it is completely empty.

Six-pack, Hydro Blaster. This dark blue and orange gun has two sets of three vertically aligned shotgun barrels. Barrels can be fired all at once, three at a time or one at a time. The top reloading ammo tank can reload all six barrels with one smooth slide of the tank. The hydro spike ammo tank can be refilled with regular water.

Nemesis Pro Negator. A yellow and bright blue machine pistol that fires small void balls rather than bullets. The 30 round clip automatically refills with ammo over the course of 10 minutes.

Snap Ping Pistols. A pair of small white and orange handguns that only carry one shot at a time, but pulling back the ring lever on the back of the gun reloads it with a new air elemental bullet. If you lock both guns together, pulling them apart reloads both.

Nemesis Pro Cave Maker. This yellow and orange shoulder-fire rocket launcher fires Stalagmite rounds rather than rockets. Reloading the Cave Maker takes five pumps of the grip.

I ask, “So wait, most of these don't require ammo, or at least don't need regular ammo?”

“Right,” says Jose. “These shoot elemental rounds and the bullets respawn if you do something to reload them. This one takes water.” He motions to the Six-Pack. “The rest just seem to load with magic or whatever.”

He picks up and fires each one, aiming down the aisle at a target range that's set up there. The Dropshot 3 just fires little icicles. The Six-Pack fires globs of water that seem to basically punch the target rather than piercing it. The Negator's rapid fire void orbs erase what they come in contact with, but they come out kinda slow and you could probably dodge if you were more than 20 feet out. The Snap Ping air bullets look like green darts and are almost as fast as real bullets, the fastest weapons so far. The Cave Maker just shoots 6-inch-long stone spikes at low, yet still perfectly lethal, speeds.

We all try each weapon and we spend about half an hour having fun shooting toy guns at the walls. In the end Henry takes a Six-Pack, Jose takes one of each, Grant takes a Cave Maker, Gwen takes some Snap Pings and I take a Negator. Diaz says she's good with her shield/axe/gauntlet and I believe her. That woman is a winged helmet away from being a valkyrie.

While we were shooting guns Barbatos had curled up in some doll clothes and I have to rouse her so we can go. I start to climb the ladder with her as shoulder jockey when she unfurls her wings and awkwardly flies the rest of the way up.

When I get to the top of the ladder she's there and greets me by licking my nose. I sigh. This was the best trip to the toy department ever.

-----

Dossier AR-2002, Albie Rutherford

Albie was a small-time crook in the Appalachian Mountains of Kentucky for most of his life. He robbed liquor stores, broke into cars and defaced police property. He was generally just considered a slow witted nuisance.

All that changed when Dracosys turned the defunct Dorral Co. Coal Mine into a dungeon, which Albie entered without a second thought. He was apparently one of the first to enter the dungeon, thinking it was a good place to drink moonshine in peace. What he found inside was a world in which his violent tendencies were rewarded. He emerged three days later, changed. Before he was morbidly overweight, but after he was absurdly buff, to the point of hyper masculinity. He is now 12 feet tall and says that he's no longer a human, but a “hill giant.” His strength backs up this claim as the first thing he did after getting back into town was rip the doors off a police car. Officers Toomes and Jenkins shot him several times and while the bullets injured him, his wounds seemed to close immediately after. He then proceeded to rip Toomes in half and beat Jenkins to death using Toomes's body.

He is currently hiding out in the Appalachian mountains, supposedly being sheltered by government hating hillbillies, of which there are many in that part of the country.

Albie Rutherford

Alias: Lil’ Al

Age: 29

Height: 12 foot 1 inches

Build: very overweight (formerly), obscenely muscular (current)

Skin: white, freckled

Hair: ginger mullet

Tattoo: “Mom” across his lower back.

Wears no jewelry because “that's women's stuff.”

Usually in a dirty white undershirt and unbuttoned overalls.

Class: Highlander