Path to the Apocalypse

Aura: 32 - Introspection



Over the next few days, Andrew continued to work on his Introspect skill, which involved a lot of soul searching, which was more uncomfortable than he would like to admit. Taking an honest look at who he was, what his flaws were… it didn't feel good. He didn't like having flaws! Which, he was realizing, was one of his flaws! The only silver lining was that the more he explored himself, the higher his Introspect skill rose. "I suck." Andrew grumbled bitterly.

"Excuse me?" Cathryn asked, raising an eyebrow at him, while Li Jing looked at him with a frown.

"I only try in areas I know I can succeed." Andrew replied, sighing and shaking his head. "That's just- it's lazy!"

Li Jing blinked at him. "So?"

Andrew frowned. "What do you mean 'so'?!?"

Li Jing rolled her eyes. "Andrew, doing something when you don't have a chance to succeed is just dumb."

"Okay, but what if there's a chance I could succeed, but the consequences of not succeeding are more than I'm willing to risk?" Andrew replied hesitantly.

"That is also normal, yes." Li Jing responded, shaking her head with a slight smirk. "There is a cost and a benefit to every action. If the cost is greater than the benefit, why would you do it?"

Andrew paused, considering that. "I guess… I still think I overestimate the risks though. Like yes, there are consequences, but they seem worse to me than they actually are, and it keeps me from taking chances."

"Does it?" Li Jing asked, raising an eyebrow at him. "You took a chance with me."

"I did, but… well, no offense, but you made it pretty clear you wanted to be with me. Plus, my Lizard core was influencing me pretty hard back then." Andrew explained awkwardly.

"What about with us us?" Cathryn offered. "Trying to make a relationship work between all three of us had some pretty big risks."

"Well, sure, but what other choice did I have? Any other option would leave at least one of us miserable." Andrew retorted.

"So you take chances when it matters." Cathryn countered. "That's all that's important. Being a little conservative in your day to day life is fine."

"I guess…" Andrew muttered, frowning slightly.

"Now that is a flaw." Li Jing commented. "You need to get better at considering other people's point of view."

"Right!?!" Cathryn agreed.

"Hey, I do! It just takes a bit for me to process it." Andrew protested. "I need to mull it over until I can see how everything connects."

Li Jing shook her head. "It isn't about how you change your opinion. It's about the assumption that the things you consider important are the same things everyone considers important, and that they consider them important in the same way. But people have different ways of looking at the world that emphasize different things as important. If you focus on the plight of the poor, then you see charity and quality of life issues as highly important. However, if you focus on the economy, then you see financial policies as highly important. Neither is wrong, but both people would argue for hours because they have different focuses."

"Okay, but both of those problems are actually interconnected, because without a good economy, what do you have to help the poor with?" Andrew replied.

Cathryn frowned at him. "You do realize you just made her point for her, right?"

Andrew blinked, then flushed. "Damn!" He cursed. "But- you can't just consider things separately like that! Everything is connected to everything!"

"Andrew, this is your problem." Cathryn placed her hands on his shoulders, looking him in the eye. "You're too focused on how you are right, and not enough on how they are right. You need to see the points others are making before you can present your own."

Andrew was about to begin arguing again, when he paused, taking a moment to actually examine himself and how he was handling this argument. It was just like Cathryn was saying. He was more focused on trying to explain why you had to consider things as a whole than the point Cathryn was making, which was that he was too focused on his points! He took a deep breath. "Okay, I see your point."

Cathryn blinked. "You do?"

"Yeah?" Andrew replied. "It's pretty obvious at this point. I mean, I'm literally in the process of doing it right now!"

Cathryn shared a wide eyed look with Li Jing. "Did Andrew just admit he was wrong?"

"He did." Li Jing muttered, turning to give Andrew a calculating look. "Should we worry?"

Cathryn gave Andrew an evaluating look of her own. "Not yet… but we should keep an eye on him."

"Agreed." Li Jing nodded.

Andrew scowled. "Guys, I am capable of self improvement."

"You are." Cathryn nodded slowly. "After several rounds of arguments which slowly move you in the right direction."

Li Jing nodded again. "You are a willful man. It isn't a bad thing, but it makes changing your mind difficult."

Andrew frowned. "Am I really that bad?"

Cathryn shook her head. "No, it isn't bad, because it isn't like you force your opinions on other people. That would be an issue. You just… you're very firm in what you believe. There are certain issues where you make it very clear you think you're right, or at least that you could be right. It doesn't make you a bad person, it just makes it hard to argue with you sometimes."

Andrew's frown deepened as he thought about that. As he thought about everything they'd talked about. If these things were true, and he didn't think Cathryn and Li Jing would lie, then he had some changes to make. He didn't want to be inflexible or hard headed. Of course, he didn't want to be too easily influenced either… Andrew let out another sigh. "I still think I kinda suck."

"Everyone kinda sucks." Li Jing pointed out. "No one is perfect. That's the point. You suck, I suck, Cathryn sucks, but together, we suck less."

Andrew nodded slowly, before glancing at Cathryn as she began to flush in embarrassment. "Cathryn, thoughts like that are going to get you in trouble one day." He warned her with a slight grin.

"I wish they'd get me in trouble now." Cathryn grumbled, before her eyes widened. "Oh, Jing, no, I didn't mean that! If you aren't ready, I don't want to push you!"

Li Jing blinked. "You- you're waiting on me?" She asked slowly.

Cathryn froze. "Y-yeah?"

Li Jing blinked again. "I had been waiting on you."

"You- you have?!?" Cathryn asked in disbelief.

Li Jing nodded. "I was with Andrew first, so I thought you should set the pace of the relationship. If I set the pace, we'd have been sleeping together before you two even had time to get to know each other."

"Cathryn's been ready since pretty much that first night." Andrew interjected, causing Cathryn to flush.

Li Jing paused. "Oh."

"But I've known Andrew since we were five!" Cathryn rushed to explain. "Plus, with the Bond… it's hard not to feel comfortable doing things with him!"

Li Jing frowned. "I thought you Americans didn't consider yourselves adults until eighteen. Wouldn't you want to wait until then?"

Cathryn's flush deepened. "W-well- see, we do consider eighteen adult, but… it doesn't really stop us…"

"No it does not." Andrew snorted. "I noticed people starting at like thirteen. Way too young in my opinion. You still have so much maturing to do at that age!" He paused. "Not that we're much better…"

Both girls turned to look at him. "Are you ready for us to sleep together?" Li Jing asked, narrowing her eyes at him.

Andrew froze, not expecting that question. Why would she ask? Of course he was ready! However, as he thought about it more… "I am, but… okay, if it was just one of you, I'd already be in bed and wondering where you were. But… I don't know how to handle both of you. Not that a few more years would really change that, but… I'm hesitant, because I don't want to mess things up. I love both of you, and I love our relationship, the way we're all comfortable around each other. I'm just worried if we start bringing sex into it… that comfort will go away. I mean, I've seen normal relationships ruined by sex! I couldn't handle it if we started too soon and fucked all this up." Andrew finished with a weary sigh.

The girls both blinked at him. "Andrew… our entire relationship is something that could ruin a normal relationship." Cathryn pointed out. "We're making this work somehow, and I don't think bringing sex into it is going to change that. Anything that comes up… we'll deal with it together, just like we've dealt with everything else." She reached out, grabbing both Andrew and Li Jing's hands and giving them a squeeze.

Li Jing smiled at her, before grabbing Andrew's other hand as she turned to him. "We'll make it work." She nodded. "No matter what."

Andrew looked between the two, a warm feeling beginning to grow within his chest. "You guys… okay." He nodded, letting out a tense breath. "We can do this." He paused. "Uh… how do we do this?" He asked hesitantly.

The two girls froze, sharing a hesitant look. "You should go first." Cathryn insisted, squeezing Li Jing's hand. "You were with him first, and you've been waiting the longest."

Li Jing shook her head. "You should go first. I've already had too many firsts with Andrew. It's your turn."

Andrew frowned. "Guys, that- I don't think it's a good idea to keep score like that… if we start basing what we do together based on what-" Andrew paused. "Crap, how do I word this? Uh, we can't decide what Cathryn and I do based on what Li Jing and I do, just like we can't base what you two do together on what you do with me. That'll just turn into a bunch of score keeping and we'll devolve into doing things just to keep things fair, and that- if we're focused on being fair, we won't be comfortable, and it'll turn this relationship into work instead of something we enjoy."

Cathryn frowned. "So what do we do then?"

They all fell silent for a moment, before Li Jing's eyebrows rose as an idea popped into her head. "Whatever we want?" She offered. "If we can't plan, and we want to be comfortable, then… we should be comfortable. If we feel like being with each other, then… we just be with each other."

Cathryn blinked. "So… if we want it, we just… go for it?" She asked hesitantly.

Li Jing nodded. "Exactly."

"But… What if we both want it? At- at the same time?" Cathryn continued.

Li Jing smirked, a slight twinkle in her eye. "Then we go for it."

Cathryn frowned slightly, before her eyes widened in understanding. "Oh. Oh!" She flushed slightly as she met Li Jing's eyes. "I- that- that could work…"

"Then… shall we?" Li Jing asked with a quick glance towards Andrew.

Cathryn hesitated, before nodding, her flush deepening. "We shall." She agreed, both of them turning to Andrew with hungry looks.

Andrew gulped, eyes widening as he began to back away. "G-guys, this seems- if this doesn't work-"

"Don't worry." Li Jing began.

"We'll make it work." Cathryn continued. And then the two girls pounced!

*

Cathryn glared at Andrew's crotch as if it had personally offended her. "I… will… defeat you!" She panted breathlessly.

"Cathryn, just because I can keep going, doesn't mean you have to keep going." Andrew shook his head, a hint of amusement in his tone.

"You be quiet!" Cathryn snapped, shooting him a glare before refocusing on his crotch. Andrew just shook his head, leaning back, wrapping an arm around Li Jing, who was already beginning to snore lightly. It wasn't like he was going to complain if she wanted to keep going. Still, a few seconds later, Cathryn let out a groan, wiggling in under his other arm with a bitter expression. "You're inhuman." She grumbled.

"I'm a Beast." Andrew snorted. "What did you expect?"

"I just want you to be satisfied!" Cathryn whined.

"Cathryn, I am satisfied. I'm more than satisfied!" Andrew assured her, pulling her close and giving her a kiss. "Just because I can do more doesn't mean I haven't done enough."

Cathryn frowned at him. "Andrew, I'm in your head! I know you want more!"

Andrew rolled his eyes. "Cathryn, I'm always going to want more. I mean, that was amazing! But that isn't your problem."

"Andrew, it is literally my problem!" Cathryn protested. "That's like the whole point of the relationship! We keep each other satisfied, and if we don't- if I don't, then- then why are you with me?" She asked in a small, concerned voice.

Andrew blinked. "Why- cause you're amazing! You aren't- the point of our relationship isn't sex! I mean, don't get me wrong, sex is great, but even if we couldn't have sex I'd want to be with you. You're a person I love, not just some body I can fuck."

Cathryn blinked at him a few times, before flushing and cuddling closer to him. "I love you too." She muttered softly.

"I love both of you, but if you don't shut up, I'll sic Mei on you." Li Jing grumbled. Cathryn and Andrew shared amused looks, before they all settled in to sleep.


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