Passion (BL Novel)

Joo Hyuk absently recalled the friends who were on the other side of the sunset, far beyond the sea. At that moment, Ilay, who had been watching him with an amused look, suddenly raised his hand and slowly wiped Joo Hyuk's face with his large hand, brushing over each of the countless scars on his face.
"If there’s anything to hate about the branch members, haven’t you already seen enough? — See, this too."
"Ah, ...ah! Don't press it!"

Joo Hyuk shouted, his voice rising as Ilay deliberately pressed on the bruise on his temple with his middle finger, pushing it down. Ilay smiled and removed his hand.
"Your hateable parts are already more than visible, overflowing even. Sometimes, I feel like if I had a knife in my hand, I could easily commit murder. But since my life is precious, I can’t bring myself to act on it — even though the thought crosses my mind."
Joo Hyuk glared at Ilay, rubbing his face angrily.

"This is not so much something to hate... as it is something I want to smack you for."
"You know I’m not the type to just take a hit," Joo Hyuk muttered. Then suddenly, Ilay burst into laughter. It wasn’t a loud laugh, but a very pleasant, joyful, and refreshing one that lasted for a while.
Joo Hyuk watched him, puzzled. It wasn’t often that Ilay laughed like this. Joo Hyuk had seen him sneer or flash a meaningless smile, and he had occasionally heard him laugh out loud, but seeing Ilay’s face light up with such a carefree, pure joy was unexpected. The boy who appeared to have such a dark nature could look almost innocent when he laughed. Joo Hyuk kept staring at him, thinking that if Ilay continued to laugh like this, the number of times a knife would fly toward him would decrease dramatically.

Ilay wiped his eyes, still with a smile lingering in his gaze, and gestured towards Joo Hyuk.
"How about me then?"
"Huh?"

Joo Hyuk was about to ask, What about me?, but he suddenly remembered the context of their conversation just moments ago and flinched.
If he were to name twelve things to hate about this man, he could easily do so. But as for things to like... he’d probably be lucky to come up with one by the time he finished listing the twelve things he hated.
"...Do I really have to say?"

Joo Hyuk asked seriously. Even though he tried to sound casual, he knew his face was turning somber. He didn’t want to lie, but if he spoke his true feelings, it wouldn’t lead to a good outcome. Ilay, this time, didn’t laugh with the same playful energy as before, but still chuckled softly, almost as if amused by something.
"Well, it’s fine. I’m in a good mood today. I’ll ask you again some other time. — Shall we go?"
As he said this, Ilay suddenly stood up, and Joo Hyuk stared up at him blankly.

"Where to?" Joo Hyuk muttered, and Ilay shrugged, nodding his head.
"Suit. I said I’d buy it for you. I know a good place in Guyeong, but unfortunately, I have another appointment right after this, so I won’t have time to go there. I’ll get you something decent from Pacific Place. Unless you have a preferred store?"
Still in a daze, Joo Hyuk blinked, shook his head, and muttered, "Suit...?" He realized too late that he missed the timing to reject the offer.
 

It seemed like he had fallen into a deep sleep. Joo Hyuk only woke up when he felt a hand shaking his shoulder. He slowly opened his eyes. His uncle, dressed in a gown, was wiping his wet hair as he looked down at him.
"You must be really tired. I can tell by the fact that you didn't wake up even after someone came in and took a shower."
"It wasn’t that tiring... I just planned to rest my eyes for a bit, but I guess I must have fallen into a deep sleep... What time is it?"

"It's just past 10. ...Wow. Your face is quite the sight. Did something happen again?"
Joo Hyuk let out a groggy breath and sat up with messy hair. His uncle, facing him, furrowed his brow. His uncle, who had been away for a business trip all week, had just returned, and a suitcase was left in the corner of the room.
"Same as usual. Even when I get stabbed by a knife, I still have to serve the people who should be the ones getting stabbed. It can’t be helped. But I did get treated for it."

Joo Hyuk gently rubbed his face with the back of his hand, muttering. After being beaten, he had immediately gone to the infirmary to receive treatment from Gyoho, who gave him medicine and bandages. Unbelievably, even Ilay had given him some medicine.
When they had parted ways after coming out of Pacific Place, Ilay had said, “I have an appointment later, so I’ll leave. It would be nice if we could go back together, but it’s a shame.” Before he left, Ilay had bought some medicine from the pharmacy and handed it to Joo Hyuk.
A saying from his homeland suddenly came to mind. Joo Hyuk thought to himself as he let Ilay gently apply ointment to his torn lip. The touch was gentle and careful, a contrast to the usual behavior Joo Hyuk had come to expect from him. Ilay, with his serious face, applied the ointment, and only then did he nod in satisfaction, lifting his hand and leaving.

That guy is truly an enigma. Joo Hyuk thought to himself. After all, he had been given medicine after the beating. It was hard to just blame the person who created the situation. No, the one to blame was the one who had made this happen in the first place. Joo Hyuk gazed at his uncle with a mixture of irritation and contemplation.
"Uncle, this debt is quite big. I’ll remember it for the next 20 years."
"Don't say that to me, say it to the ones who hit you. Those reckless guys. I’ll make sure to take care of them one day."

Joo Hyuk sighed heavily. His uncle’s words reminded him of someone else he knew. The only difference was that the person he was thinking of was sincere, while his uncle only half-meant it. Joo Hyuk stretched, cracking his back and muttering, "With either strength or skill, fighting those guys here might just break me instead." He quickly changed the subject.
"How was South America? Did your business go well?"
"It’s the same within the organization. Whether it’s good or bad, it doesn’t really matter. They just sent me there, so I went."

"Hmm. The position of ambassador or promotion involves other branches too, right?"
"Something like that."
Joo Hyuk stared at his uncle, silently saying, That answer doesn’t work. His uncle, catching his gaze, simply smiled without answering. It was clear his uncle wasn’t about to explain any further.

Come to think of it, Joo Hyuk realized he was technically an outsider. Even though he was involved with the organization, he had no clear intention of being part of it. He hadn’t chosen to join, and he didn’t feel any particular sense of belonging.
"Well, you’re handling it, so it’ll be fine," Joo Hyuk said casually, scratching his head. Unlike his brother, who was lucky in life, Joo Hyuk didn’t worry much about his uncle, no matter where he was. After all, whether the UNHRDO’s director or the president of the U.S. changed, it wouldn’t turn the world upside down, so what was there to care about? But still, he wished for a change in his superior’s position.
"You went out this weekend, right? Was there anything fun?"

"Hong Kong? I went out yesterday and came back yesterday. There wasn’t anything particularly fun."
"Why? Maybe you accidentally got lost and found a nice old bookstore in some alley. Or maybe you bumped into someone you knew on the street. Even if it wasn’t a face you were happy to see."
Joo Hyuk paused, stopping his hand from scratching his head. His uncle, who had been casually shaking out his hair, looked at him with a smile when their eyes met. Joo Hyuk stared back, his face still sleepy, clicking his tongue in discontent.

"You sure know how to spread rumors. Word travels fast all the way to South America."
"I was on the same boat as Rigro."
His uncle opened the fridge, taking out a bottle of water, and asked, "Want some beer?"

Joo Hyuk nodded, extending his hand. His uncle threw him a can, and Joo Hyuk carefully opened it, being careful not to let the foam spill over. He took a sip, and as he did, he muttered, "I guess that was a diamond spoon after all."
"Huh? That guy? Yeah. A very high-quality diamond."
"Well… I’m not so sure about that."

When it came to judging people, of course, wealth or family background was important. But even someone like that man had a personality that could ruin all those qualities. Joo Hyuk quietly stared at his uncle, taking another gulp of beer. His uncle, who had been too lazy to brew tea earlier, now met Joo Hyuk’s gaze, seemingly aware of it.
"What do you want for your birthday?" his uncle suddenly asked.
"Huh?"

Joo Hyuk swallowed the beer in his mouth with a gulp and blinked his eyes. It was something he hadn't heard in a long time. He wasn’t the type to care about birthdays, and although he and his siblings sometimes bought each other things, the idea of birthday presents had never come up. Furthermore, it wasn’t someone who gave him presents every year, and it wasn’t long ago that he hadn’t seen this person for years. Now, suddenly, birthday presents? Joo Hyuk chuckled and waved his hand.
"It’s fine. There’s no need for presents."
"You should take what you can get when you can. After today, when else will you receive a birthday gift from me?"

"Hmm... Well then, can I just go home now?"
"Denied."
Before Joo Hyuk’s request could even finish, his uncle decisively shook his head. Joo Hyuk muttered under his breath, scratching his head.

"I really don’t need {N•o•v•e•l•i•g•h•t} anything. There’s nothing I want... Oh, wait. Was that it?"
Joo Hyuk suddenly stopped scratching his head and muttered aloud. His uncle tilted his head, confused by the remark. Joo Hyuk shrugged his shoulders.
"It’s nothing really. Yesterday, Ilay suddenly dragged me to a tailor shop, saying he’d buy me a suit. I wondered why, and I guess it was supposed to be a birthday present. I didn’t think he was the type to do that."

"…I didn’t think he was the type either."
His uncle stared at Joo Hyuk with a baffled expression, as if he had heard something strange. Joo Hyuk, feeling awkward, shook his hand, signaling that it wasn’t a lie.
"No, I thought it was strange too. I wondered why he suddenly wanted to buy me clothes."

Joo Hyuk muttered to himself, I almost thought of the death of Hercules when that happened. His uncle tilted his head, finding it strange, but then smiled with amusement, as if he found it interesting.
"I see. What kind of clothes was it?"
"Ah— it’s a custom-made suit, so I have to go back for the fitting. I just had my measurements taken. The shop manager gave me a business card."

Joo Hyuk fumbled through his pockets, pulling out a crumpled business card and handing it to his uncle. His uncle took it and asked, "Ah, you had it custom-made?"
"Yeah. We didn’t have much time, so I thought we’d just walk into some random store, but it turned out to be a custom shop."
"It was kind of uncomfortable, but now that I think of it as a birthday present, the pressure’s a little less. But now I’m wondering if I should give him something in return," Joo Hyuk muttered to himself. His uncle stared at the business card in silence. He flipped it over and stared at it again, seemingly deep in thought.

"Is this the place called Karacheni?"
"I think that was the name... Oh, do you know the store?"
"…Well, not personally. I’ve never had a suit made there."

His uncle waved the business card lightly while muttering to himself. Then, raising an eyebrow, he tilted his head again.
"Why the strange reaction?"
"Well... I’m just thinking about why Rick gave you a suit. His concept of money is very different from ordinary people, but he doesn’t just hand out money to anyone."

"Does he owe you something? No, he’s not the type to care about such things," his uncle muttered, shaking his head, as if confused. Joo Hyuk glanced at the business card his uncle handed back to him. The burden that had lessened before seemed to grow heavier again.
"Uncle... Please don’t tell me it was expensive. I’m just a poor commoner without any savings to pay him back. ...Well, if it comes down to it, I’ll just return whatever I received."
"Hmm... What’s all this sudden gift-giving?"

"Right? ...Do you think maybe he fell for me at first sight?"
Joo Hyuk muttered carelessly, scratching his head as he felt more annoyed by the thought. He was almost stunned by his uncle’s serious reply.
"That guy isn’t the type to act all human about it."

Joo Hyuk waved his hand in exasperation. It was a joke, but why did his perceptive uncle take it seriously?
Joo Hyuk threw the empty beer can into the trash and stood up with ease. It was getting late, and it was time to head back to his room. As he went down to the 6th floor, he knew he would encounter unfriendly faces in the hallway, but at this point, he was numb to it. It was his fault for choosing the wrong superior. He could only hope the rest of his time here would pass without incident, until the day he could finally leave.
As he thought about this, a worry suddenly crossed his mind. He frowned slightly and looked back at his uncle.

"By the way, we’ll soon be having joint training with the South American branch, right?"
"That’s right. We discussed it when I was there. We talked about the instructors being sent to lead, and other things."
"If half the people from South America are coming here, where are the people here going?"

"Australia."
"Are you staying here for the training, or are you going to Australia?"
"I stayed last time, so I’ll probably go this time."

"Ah, Australia and South America... Are the relationships with those branches good here?"
Joo Hyuk asked seriously, furrowing his brow. His uncle laughed aloud and then waved his hand reassuringly.
"There’s no such thing as good relationships with branches. But it’s not like the Asian and European branches are involved with each other, so there’s nothing to worry about. Don’t worry. After all, there’s no murderer with a notorious reputation in any of the other branches."

"I don’t know... I think having a murderer in our branch is a problem too."
Joo Hyuk muttered gloomily. He had learned from experience that just because someone was on your side didn’t mean they could be trusted as an ally. Furthermore, it was common to hear about revenge-fueled incidents in joint training. Among all the branches, the Asian branch was probably the most dangerous right now. The thought made him even more depressed.
"Uncle... Do you think Ilay will go to Australia?"

"He probably won’t. It’s not common to send instructors who have only just been transferred here to another branch."
"Then I really want to go to Australia."
"You can’t. You’re attached to a position by rank, so unless Rigrow is the one who goes, you won’t be able to."

"I’m not asking to go to Australia. I just want to go in the opposite direction of Ilay."
"Well, pray that he falls ill then."
His uncle gave him advice that wasn’t very helpful. Feeling like he had been abandoned on an isolated island with no one to turn to, Joo Hyuk gloomily left the room.

In any society people live in, there are bound to be interpersonal relationships. Even a three- or four-year-old growing up at home, though they might be very simple, still find themselves tangled in relationships. Joo Hyuk sat near the building’s entrance, sipping the beer his uncle had given him, and absentmindedly stared at the sky. Holding a single cigarette would’ve completed the picture of a decadent, lonely moment.
"Have I ever had trouble with relationships? ...No, I don’t think so."
There were times when he felt enraged because of people with grudges, but he had never boiled with frustration over the complex web of human relationships. It would be nice if he could laugh it off as someone else’s problem, but he couldn’t.

Being near a sharp stone, you’re bound to get hurt by it, the saying went. And honestly, there was no sharper stone than Ilay Rigrow. He had always known there were unreasonable people in the world, but never imagined someone like Ilay existed. It wasn’t his fault for ending up beside such a person, but still, the situation felt absurd.
With a handsome face, a sharp mind, strong, capable, wealthy, but with a terribly bad personality...
If you just listed those traits, he would seem like the typical spoiled rich kid with a terrible attitude. But he wasn’t a person you could define that simply. Many people were called terrible, but not many were truly at risk of losing their lives because of others.

"But honestly... he’s not all bad."
Joo Hyuk muttered quietly. He remembered when he had said this before, and Tow had asked seriously, "What part of his humanity made you think that?" He hadn’t been able to answer. He still couldn’t answer, but he was certain of one thing: despite everything, there was something about Ilay that wasn’t completely irredeemable.