Overlooking Your Eyes

“I’m home.”

“Ah, Yeong-won, you’re back? How was school? Who’s your homeroom teacher? Are they a good teacher?”

“It’s the same teacher who taught English in my second year.”

“Do you know them well?”

“Yes.”

“That’s good. Be polite and make a good impression. Teachers write nice things about students who are respectful. And if there’s anything beneficial, they’ll tell you first.”

After answering briefly, Yeong-won stepped inside, taking off his shoes. He glanced at his father, already asleep on one side of the room, before setting his school bag down next to the low table.

“Are you hungry? Should I mix some misutgaru (traditional grain powder drink) for you?”

“I’m not hungry. I’ll just go wash up.”

Grabbing a plain long-sleeved T-shirt, pants, and fresh underwear, he stepped into the cramped bathroom. The mirror, no matter how much it was wiped, always seemed cloudy. He took off his school uniform, though the narrow space made even that task inconvenient.

The air quickly filled with the strong scent of cheap apricot soap and overly floral shampoo, the kind that was so heavily fragranced it gave him a headache. He turned on the lukewarm water from the weak showerhead and began washing himself, unfazed by the situation. The combination of scents soon saturated the tiny bathroom, almost dizzyingly so.

After dressing, he stepped out with his school uniform and placed the items needing a wash into the laundry basket. Pulling a hairdryer from the drawer, he switched it on, only for the machine to make an obnoxiously loud noise and emit a burnt smell. He had to use it sparingly, worrying it might wake his father, but leaving his hair wet wasn’t an option.

“Did you get along with the other kids?”

“…Not really. It was just the first day.”

The image of Yoo Seon-woo surfaced in his mind, but he shook it off. As he double-checked his schedule and packed his bag with the necessary textbooks and workbooks, the strong mix of apricot and floral scents clung to the air.

“Hyun-jin is in the other class, right?”

“…Yes.”

“Good. Hyun-jin just distracts you from studying. He might have given up on studying, but you’re destined for success. It’s better not to associate with someone like him anymore. That’s probably why the school separated you two into different classes. High school friends might seem important now, but later, when you get into a good university, you’ll make much better connections.”

“…Yes.”

In the past, whenever his parents dismissed or criticized Hyun-jin, Yeong-won used to argue back, defending his friend. But now, he had long since given up. He had grown tired of the pointless disputes and defaulted to answering his parents with a simple “yes” or “no” to avoid unnecessary conflict.

“Are you going to sleep, or are you going to study more?”

The hope in his mother’s tone was clear, she wanted him to keep studying. But under their heavy and desperate expectations, studying in that suffocating environment felt unbearable. Sleeping early and waking at 5:30 a.m. to get ready for school was his best option. It was the only escape from this oppressive situation and the best way to focus on his ultimate goal: getting out.

“I’ll sleep.”

“Already? It’s only 11:30.”

“…I’m tired. Goodnight.”

“Alright, sleep well. I’ll make toast with egg for breakfast.”

“Okay.”

With that short response, Yeong-won lay down on the farthest spot from where his parents slept. He pulled a brightly patterned blanket over his head. Even the blanket and pillow carried an overwhelming scent of detergent.

“….…”

Despite being used to this, there were still days when the familiarity grated on him, making everything feel alien. Today was one of those days. Knowing that nothing would change overnight no matter how much he thought about it, he forced himself to close his eyes and try to sleep.

The faint scent of Yoo Seon-woo came to mind, a gentle, pleasant fragrance that had lingered earlier. Even amidst the stifling detergent smell, that subtle aroma seemed to brush against his senses.

“….…”

In the darkness, Yeong-won’s eyes slowly opened again.

What kind of smell would people associate with me? he wondered.

The strong apricot soap? The cloying floral scent? Or perhaps the unmistakably thick aroma of the cheapest fabric softener that clung to everything he owned? Thinking about those ‘cheap’ smells mixing with someone as fragrant as Yoo Seon-woo made his cheeks flush with embarrassment.

What was Seon-woo thinking when he leaned so close to my neck? No matter how hard he tried to stop himself, the memory kept replaying in his mind. The warmth on his neck felt as vivid as ever, making him uncomfortably hot.

Yeong-won tossed and turned in his bed. Each time he moved, the humid, cold air of the room seemed to stir up the chaotic medley of overpowering scents surrounding him. The overwhelming mixture made it hard to fall asleep.

***

The next morning, all the remaining eggs in the house had gone bad, so the egg-coated toast his mother had promised was a no-go. Not that he’d been expecting much. Instead, he grabbed a piece of plain bread, the only thing edible, and headed out.

The cool morning air swept through his uniform, carrying away the lingering heavy scents. Plugging in his long-corded earphones, he played an English listening exercise and walked briskly to school. If his home had one advantage, it was that he could walk to school.

The walk wasn’t particularly short, but it was manageable. He didn’t mind, it was good exercise. The only challenge was the tantalizing aroma wafting from early-morning bakeries and cafés.

That delicious smell made the stale, dry bread in his mouth taste even worse. Each bite seemed to stick to his throat, refusing to go down. Frustrated, he tossed the rest of the bread into a trash can and dusted his hands.

I’ll just wait until the second break and grab a picnic drink and apple jam cookies to tide me over, he thought.

A restless night left him feeling groggy, his eyes dry and his body sluggish. When he failed to manage his condition like this, it often led to sickness. Determined not to let that happen, Yeong-won resolved to stay focused, stick to his routine, and avoid wasting time like yesterday.

Crossing the empty schoolyard, he entered through the main hall and climbed the familiar stairs to the still-unfamiliar third-year hallway. The quiet, empty building had a serene, calming effect he appreciated.

Without hesitation, he entered his classroom and took his seat in the last row of the second column. The air was chilly, almost cold, but that only helped him concentrate. Pulling out his notebook, he reviewed the day’s to-do list and opened his workbook. The sight of complex problems on the page helped clear the lingering clutter in his mind. It was the perfect start to his day.

The second person to arrive, as always, was Yoo Seon-woo. Immersed in his work, Yeong-won didn’t notice him until the sound of a chair being pulled out startled him. Turning his head, he saw Seon-woo setting down his bag with a smile, as if greeting him with a silent ‘Good morning.’

“Did you manage to study well on your own yesterday?”

“Yeah.”

Keeping his response short, Yeong-won returned his focus to his work. But the subtle, pleasant fragrance wafting from Seon-woo distracted him. That scent… It’s coming from him, he realized. It wasn’t a “smell,” but a “fragrance”…soft, elegant, and oddly comforting. He found himself wanting to lean in closer, which embarrassed him.

At the same time, he couldn’t help but think about how Seon-woo might be catching whiffs of his overpowering soap or fabric softener. The thought made his shoulders tighten. Subconsciously, he lifted his sleeve and sniffed. The scent wasn’t as strong as he’d feared, but the fabric softener’s unmistakable aroma lingered.

“Did you eat breakfast?”

“…No.”

Recalling the dry, unappealing bread he’d discarded earlier, Yeong-won shook his head.

“I didn’t eat either. Want to hit the snack bar?”

“I was going to…” he started but paused.

After a moment’s thought, he nodded. His stomach was already growling, and waiting until the second break felt unreasonable.

Following Seon-woo out of the classroom, Yeong-won deliberately trailed a step behind. Keeping a bit of distance seemed like the better choice, though his heightened awareness of his own smell made the fabric softener’s scent feel suffocating.

“….…”

Looking ahead at Seon-woo’s tall frame, he marveled at how someone could be that tall and well-proportioned. Is this what people feel when they see celebrities? Lost in thought, he didn’t notice Seon-woo stop abruptly until he bumped into his back and stumbled.

A warm hand caught his arm, steadying him as his body swung forward into Seon-woo’s chest before retreating.

“You okay?”

The proximity was uncomfortably close. Feeling flustered, Yeong-won stepped back, glancing at Seon-woo’s hand, which was still gripping his own. The size difference was stark, Seon-woo’s hand nearly enveloped his. Pulling his hand away, Yeong-won instinctively hid it behind his back.

“…You stopped so suddenly. I almost fell.”

“Sorry. I wanted to walk with you. Why were you so far behind?”

“….…”

“Come on, let’s go together.”

Without waiting for an answer, Seon-woo wrapped an arm around Yeong-won’s shoulders, pulling him close. The size difference made it easy, his arm draped over Yeong-won’s smaller frame effortlessly. The sudden weight and closeness startled him.

When he looked up, Seon-woo’s head tilted downward, their gazes locking in a way that made it feel like they were pressed together. Flustered, Yeong-won shook off Seon-woo’s arm and stepped away.

“Why? Don’t like it?”

“…We don’t have to walk that close.”

“You’d just fall behind again if we didn’t.”

“…I won’t.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I’ll stay close, so let’s just… walk like this.”

Maintaining just enough space for a fist between them, they descended the stairs together. But each step brought a faint trace of Seon-woo’s fragrance closer, making Yeong-won glance at him unintentionally.

The scent was intoxicating, lingering in his mind. His fingertips tingled, and a strange, elusive itch crept through him, making his thoughts harder to control.