Chapter 018: Contact
<11/01/149,566 {Avion 148} - 06:00 | Corral Position, Genosis, Altiri Sector Space>
Our psionic clock last biding time and strength, cycled in and out of every moment, every breath, and every new memory, until the day these dials stopped. Brimming with such incredible and unfamiliar sensation, the signal inside of him lit up like a supernova, leaking such strong energy for me to feel from new corners of my mind. Difficult to describe, this mixture of sensation was like an important promise of imminence, a warning that collective currents of fate would intertwine and invoke action at a particular time and place.
I was most certain why, having looked into these expectations long before; and for this reason, I had most of my sisters directly at my side, waiting with me by the window of our main room observation area. With the backdrop of an infinite cosmos, I took deeper, calmer breaths, trying to meditate my way into the psionic overflow coming from my friend to be. This timing, this sensation, this moment can only be the final phase of the purge, the signal I sent to Reed, so that I may enter the scape of his mind and earn a sacred place in his heart.
No matter what I was telling myself, of all volley, of all anxiety and stress, of all excitement and hope, I needed to balance myself and focus, so that I may lock-on to that incredible psionic signature, Reed's psionic signature. If I'm feeling this now, then it will be minutes or less for the final result to be revealed.
Though I had to shut my eyes, my other senses were wide awake to the flow of this new space around me. It was like breathing into a world that exists between here and the other, my concentrated senses plugging into the psionic receptacles of my focus, the human I must come to know. Such a challenge warranted more time than just a few seconds, and far more energy expenditure than I would ever have given with another Altiri, though I pressed on, granted the required silence from my sisters so that I may concentrate, despite their growing anticipation and hope that I may succeed.
At last, in what stole a strong gasp from my mouth, my eyes and ears opened once more, while the feeling of gentle descent ceased. Despite knowing I was on my own ship, everything from my forward view was suddenly blasted into this new world, a small space lit with yellow light from above, and a direct view angle that seemed to drift around the room on its own, disregarding any of my own input. The silence around me quickly became replaced by a gentle ambience of soft white noise, sourced from a nearby oscillating fan against the far end of the room.
Before I could say anything or react to how interesting this was, all I was sensing instantly shifted back to the interior of my spaceship, and my struggle to bring my back to him was met with fierce resistance, the requisite of continued concentration.
"Don't give up sister. You can do it!" Fully supportive of everything I was doing, Junko stood closest to me, watching my struggle with more sympathy than I've ever seen in her before, and I could feel similar enough mixture from my sisters right behind me, and some from the other ships.
I knew they were right, and I knew I had to trust myself, even now. This telepathic link isn't exactly stable enough for discussion just yet, and if I don't get the hang of it now, all of this will be for nothing. I can't let that happen! "Okay Reed. I know you can't hear me yet, but you must sense my presence, while I sense yours." Much easier said than done, I still gave it my all, trying what I've been already, while adding more of my psionic focus into this than I expected to. It was more than simple process. I forced myself to think of him more, of and about Reed, everything about Reed and all that he must feel, his likes, his tastes, his personalities, his interests; everything, and I combined this with my ultimate desire, to speak to him, to communicate with him, to connect every pathway of my heart with his, even if it took all I am. "This is all coming from the seventh phase of the purge, so I shall rely on it now. Purge phase seven, level one testing; this is my telepathic voice. Reed, you should be able to hear me right now, awake in your room..."
There appeared to be no answer, and after several more seconds of waiting to hear nothing in return, I knew I was going to have to keep going at this. I can still blink his senses in with mine, so the connection must be there! This might be jarring for both of us, but you must hear me Reed. Feel my presence and my heart! Hear the voices you know to exist!
"Phase seven, level two testing. I'll try this again. Can you hear me at all?"
"What the—" A soft but deep voice escaped his breath, certain I was that it wasn't I or my sisters who suddenly spoke just now. That was him! I heard Reed just now! What did he say? Was he reacting to my voice, or to something else?
Unwilling to settle for uncertainties, I tried once more to link my senses with his properly, but I had to sit myself down on the floor first, shutting my eyes to block the distractions of the world around me, hoping my sisters lingering would not interfere. This time, my effort had a lower cost, and I was able to see through his eyes and hear through his ears again. The room was a bit dimmer and blurrier than I imagined it being, but I had to remind myself that this is human vision I'm using right now, not Altiri vision. The quietness of the space might simply be his less sensitive hearing, compared to my own. I could still tell Reed was looking around faster than normal, panning around the room, questioning the source of the earlier noise.
Something wasn't right though. I could feel residual vibration in the air right in front of me, but the noise I was supposed to hear was nearly mute or muffled, proving that our connection was still not fully stabilized yet. I had to try once again, merging my senses with his own, to bring all that I feel and all that he feels together as one, until all I know overlaps towards the other side of current perspective.
"Phase seven – level three testing. Is this link working? Can you hear me? Yes you! Can you hear me?" All I could do was be patient now, wondering if the panicked panning around the room Reed was doing was really in response to me or not. If I have to try this a thousand more times, I will. Suddenly, my hearing picked up, synchronizing to all that could be picked up in his space, of gentle rustling through sheets underneath, and of movement to look around the room some more, before he finally spoke.
"I can hear you, but I have no idea where you are."
"Yes!" I jumped out in an excited shout. "It worked!" My actions brought my own world back to me again, but this time in a way where part of Reed's view overlapped with my own with a strong level of transparency, something I could fix any time I wanted. Instead, I turned around to my sisters, already smiling with joy and relief that this purge was already a physical success! I had Junko, Sherika, Talor, and the others slapping my hands for high fives, while all of them rejoiced in whispers to avoid disturbing Reed too much at once. It didn't matter if I stuck to any protocol or not, because it finally worked!
"What worked? Why can't I see you?"
Okay, I sighed desperately to relax myself. The first telepathic link is now working perfectly. Even now with my eyes open, I can keep track of where Reed concentrates his field of view on, and still hear everything coming from him, now with minimal background effort. This mostly takes care of the first difficulty. The new focus should now be to get Reed to trust me. Before he can, I'll have to tell him the truth with utmost haste. "Don't bother looking around. I'm not where you think I am."
"What is this...? What do you mean?"
I had to take an extra second to continue adjusting, for the longer I remained connected to him, the more this other world opened up to me through Reed. I was already beginning to feel something gently bumping the inside of my chest, a heartbeat I think, much faster than my own. "Don't worry Reed. Give me time, and I'll explain everything."
Reed started to take some deep breaths of his own, when he slowly backed up to stand against the wall, panning upwards as if he was beginning to suspect a number of alternate conclusions. "How do you know my name? What is going on?!" His voice also became louder by the minute, more demanding in his need for answers.
"I'm not invisible Reed. Right now, we're using telepathy to speak to each other."
"Telepathy?!" his voice cracked with daunting surprise. I wanted to reply instantly and make this easy, but then I heard Reed's voice come on again, this time different than it was a moment ago. Such a thing isn't real, is it? No, why now? I must still be asleep.
Interesting, I thought. I could still hear him, but Reed wasn't speaking aloud with his mouth just now, nor was he invoking telepathic thought with the volume I was used to. His thoughts just now were almost quiet, unintentional maybe? Whatever the case, I had so much to remember at once, all of which regarded the properties of telepathy. If Reed thinks something out loud, even if little effort is put into it, I can still hear it, with less echo at the very least. I'm going to have to convince him that he isn't asleep, and that telepathy is a real power most people could have.
"Tell me your name. What is your name?"
"Okay. You have the connection now Lumina. Just don't screw anything up. Take your time and be precise, or whatever it is you planned to do so long ago."
They don't need to remind me. I'm lucky that the voices of my sisters won't transfer over to Reed's telepathic senses, since in this case it would only confuse him much more. He would only be able to hear my sisters if they spoke verbally up into my ears. However, I had to snap my fingers right behind myself, instigating for all of them to stay a moment longer. I need them for something else. "I don't know what you will remember, but my name is Lumina. Right now, we are telepathically linked together just to communicate like this."
"Lu-mina...?" He broke up the syllables of my name, almost as if he found them familiar. I was hoping it would be too familiar to ever forget, but I don't actually have a way to know for certain how much about me he has learned from phase five in the purge. Just hearing him speak my name at all sent such voltage through me, something that felt amazing without any explanation to relate it to.
"No!" His sudden volume had both of us jerk back a bit, though I had no idea what came over him.
"What's wrong?"
"No, no! No! No, no! This can't be happening!"
"Calm down, it's okay." Though this was too new to me, I knew already what conclusion Reed must have made, either one where he has gone too insane to trust himself, or one where he has realized what I am, terrified from the revelation.
Reed wasn't listening to my soothing voice anymore. He instead chose to panic in place and in the silent comfort of his own mind, which I could now hear. It's finally happened. I've finally gone insane.
"Relax Reed! I can assure you that you are not crazy!"
"Just leave me alone!" His threat made me tense so unexpectedly. I predicted this much might happen, but I had not prepared myself for how horrible it would be, to instantly be feared and rejected by his inviting personality so soon. "How can I not be crazy? I'm hallucinating out of my mind here."
So he thinks he is hallucinating? There isn't much I can do to allow Reed to see me with such intense complexities as given by our natural occulism. All this means is that I need to prioritize getting him to believe I am real to him, myself and the other Altiri.
"Reed? Are you up?"
Oh crap! Reed panicked once more, sliding from the wall to the side of his bed in an attempt to appear a bit more natural, while I was left to guess what just happened.
It wasn't difficult to understand. That muffled voice I just heard must have been Marrie's voice, Reed's mother, hearing his own voice, since for some reason, he has not tried speaking to me using the full power of telepathy. I only now understood why there was a lack of mental echo in his words.
Before I could say anything, Marrie opened the door to his room, right in the center front of his eyes, and I was forced to wait and listen as a passive observer. Even though I had less to worry about, everything just felt so real, so fast, so intense. Being connected to him like this is such a rush!
"Who were you just talking to?"
So she did hear!
Nothing I could do about it now Reed. I didn't mean for my presence to awaken the rest of the house, though it was refreshing getting to see his mom up close and personal... Looks like I'm going to have to be careful here, careful and patient. My goal is to help Reed, not disturb the aspects of his life which he wants to protect. I've heard too many times what curse befalls purged humans when their families find out, always favoring the belief of insanity over alternate possibility.
"Nothing mom. I'm just half-asleep is all." Please just ignore that so I can put this behind me!
For once, Reed and I were in perfect agreement, and Marrie seemed too mundane about the situation to dive further into it. "If you say so. It's already six, so it's time to start getting ready." Reed nodded his head, and his mother then shut the door on her way out, leaving behind a silence I wasn't sure should endure.
Reed then turned around entirely, as if to face me directly while whispering, "Listen here you blob of fiction! I don't have the time for this. Be gone already!"
I sighed again, wondering if I really had this under control. This is all happening a little too fast, and there are some confusing thoughts slamming around in that head of his. It's almost like he thinks faster than most people do. I can see this is going to need some work. "For the record, you don't have to talk to me out loud. You can speak to me simply by thinking out loud. It can help when you don't want others to hear us." If I'm to get anywhere, I first need to ensure us both that Reed can speak to me discretely, so that others nearby do not become aware of anything going on.
With another aggressive whisper of desperation, the human made another demand of me. "Just shut up and go away!"
I made sure to uphold the promise I made to myself. Even if this takes all day, I am going to get Reed to understand that I really do exist, and that he needs to trust me... I kept quiet for now though, uncertain how to proceed exactly. Some of this is strange... One of the known effects of the purge is that the target always retains a somewhat positive attitude of The Unity. Sure, it might be a forced personality enforcement, one that doesn't go away for a few days at least, but I thought Reed would have held onto that. Instead, he's panicking and leaning into some powerful fear instead. I don't get it!
"You mean like this?"
Did he just speak with telepathy? I heard his voice echo a bit in each word, so that had to be it! "See? You already figured that much out." Great! If he can speak to me discretely, then that's one less obstacle to worry about.
It was still a lot to get used to at once even for me, finally capable of seeing every detail through his eyes, with no further interruptions or noise. I saw from the corner of his eyes, Reed folding his arms together with annoyance. "This doesn't change anything. You have to leave me alone. You are nothing but a figment of my imagination, a product of my dreams. You – are not real."
"Untrue. If only you knew the truth Reed." I wonder what kind of dreams he had about me during the seven phases of the purge. It could have been about anything, though I bet he is confusing me with a dream right now. "I am real, Reed. I'm right here in the flesh. I'm just too far out of reach to see you in person is all."
Oh, is that all? Give it a rest already. Even now was he not convinced, though I had yet to do anything to change that. It was hard to get a word in though, since Reed reacted faster to my presence. "Listen to me. We met in a lucid dream. That was all! Nothing else came of that moment, and nothing ever will. Now leave!"
"Lucid dreams?" My confusion was well-founded. I knew how the purged operated, that it shows the person dreams of the sending node, but I never knew it invoked lucid dreams to make it happen... No, this has to be a rarity! "W—wait a sec! I didn't know you were having lucid dreams. I swear I know nothing about that!" Something isn't right here. It's true that Reed was supposed to absorb all knowledge of the Altiri including myself, but something tells me that process didn't go through entirely. It can't be!
"Now you're the one who lost me. Weren't you going on about all these crazy things hours ago? Why pretend you don't remember it now?"
His words gave me some clarity at least. As I thought, whatever version of me he met in a dream is the person he has me confused with now. Normally that would be less shocking to people, but not if it comes from a lucid dream. "Listen. I didn't know you had me confused with a dream version of myself, but that is all it was, just a dream. Whatever you saw in a dream is something I would not remember. The me that you met in that dream isn't the real me speaking to you now. I'm real. I know that I'm real. Nothing about me or my presence is a product of your imagination. I promise."
Unfortunately, Reed wasn't buying my explanation. "Right, and the fact that you are both named Lumina, and you somehow know my name without me telling you is supposed to just fall into place?"
With heavy defeat, I sighed once more, trying to reset all I felt so that I may convene with Reed on the most personal level, to ensure him I'm not lying. "Okay. I get that you are freaked out by all of this, but I can explain everything no matter how absurd it might seem. I can tell you who I really am and where I come from. I've been waiting for the moment for us to meet, so that I can tell you the truth about myself."
"Oh, this outta be good."
No more stalling, and no lies. I don't care what Hurma and the queen want me to do. If I convince Reed of anything, this has to be genuine from the start. "I should start from the beginning. My name is Lumina. I'm an Altiri from a distant star we call the Genosis galaxy. As for my role, I'm a warrior from a frozen planet we call Karnak."
"Alright, just stop already." His firm tone pushed me down with more fear, and I could sense his agitation growing. "This has to be the most absurd thing I've heard in all my life! I'm through trying to keep up with all of this, and I also happen to have school today, so—"
School! That's right! Reed has school today! "Oh! I want to see your school! I forgot that you would still be enrolled. Seventh grade right now, right?" I've never seen much of the world beyond the limited scope of clairvoyance, but having telepathic access through his eyes will let me learn so much more.
"That's not what I— Just leave me alone Lumina! Whatever you are doing, undo it and buzz off!"
I didn't even get to introduce my sisters to him yet, and already does he distrust me to an extreme. Why though? Why can't I get Reed to understand that this is really happening to him, that we're both really communicating with each other? It was almost all I could think about, the despair soon to crush me, but I recalled my own promises earlier, to the duties I have to myself and to what I owe my sisters. I won't give up that easily.
For the first time since this very connection, I ceased using my telepathic projection to speak, and made my physical voice heard, certain and stern, so that Reed understands how important this is to me as well. "No! I don't want to." I don't know exactly what I'm saying anymore. All I know is that I won't give up. I don't want to lose this when I just got it.
You don't want to? "Why the hell not?"
"Because," I beckoned. "The experimental purge cycle finally completed. All of my effort finally came to this moment. I can't just forget about it and leave now!"
"Great," Reed replied in distress, holding his left eye and obscuring some of my view. "Not only am I a real loser, I'm hearing voices in my head that I can't shut down."
Why would he ever think that? Reed, you should never say something like that about yourself! "You are not a loser, not to me. Don't ever call yourself that again." He's worth so much more in value, whether he hears voices or not. "And I am as real a person as you, whether you accept it or not! Don't you understand that we're using telepathy right now? It isn't just a way to communicate. We can share each other's direct senses if we wanted to. But it's not all flowing as it should yet. The connection is still too young."
I wish I knew how my own words made him feel, but I wasn't lying about the incomplete link. Even limited telepathy should share our emotions and thoughts entirely, including physical sensation, but it's still too soon. I waited on Reed to reply for a long time, only to hear the tail-end of his inner thoughts normally hidden from me. But if she really thinks this will convince me, I pity that half of my brain. He still doesn't believe a word I say, nor will he if I can't talk him into it.
"You don't believe me? Fine." I need something a bit more intense than this. If I can prove we share our senses as well as our thoughts, it should be all the more real for him. Just talking isn't enough though. Before I could put any stock in my actions, I first had to fix this incomplete connection, which took several seconds of silence and concentration, doing all I could to boost this energy buzzing in my head. "Perhaps a demonstration is in order." With most assurance I had done it, I was already feeling tingly sensations all over my arms and legs, the subtle air and fabric of cloth brushing Reed's body.
Before I allowed him to ask what I was up to, I sucked in all the air I could, bracing myself while trying to hold back in my strength for what would come next. Then, I brought my fist right to the lower end of my stomach, inflicting just enough pain to register for both of us, and Reed was already falling to the floor crouched in agony. The moment brought all of my sisters' attention to me too, who were quietly asking why the hell I would hurt myself like that, as they have no way to monitor our talks.
"Lumina! That hurt me you idiot! What did you do that for?!" If he could speak so easily after a blow to the stomach, it means I held back even more than I meant to, but better to do no damage than some damage. "It's all just imaginary in the end. So what if you can hurt me? This still changes nothing. I still can't even see you."
How can he be so stubborn?! Uuuugh, this is so frustrating! "You sure do favor your skepticism... The connection should be strong enough now, considering what I just proved. You say that you don't believe me because you can't see through my eyes while I can see through yours huh? But that is something I can change. Just hold still for a sec."
Now what is she planning?
The only thing I plan to do is convince him I do exist. Having boosted the connection proves I can do even more. Reed can't seem to see through my eyes even though I can clearly see through his. I won 't be able to boost the connection strong enough to make dual-vision perfect, but it should be enough for him to see something about my world through my eyes, anything at all, no matter the transparency. Share in my vision Reed; see through my eyes and observe the world that reached out to you!
"What the hell? Am I..."
I could already sense it too. In my fixed concentration to allow Reed to see through my eyes, I started losing some visual of his sight in the process, but the sensation of our connection intensified in the process. I wasn't expecting the sudden rush that came after, as I was somehow able to see a faint reflection of what Reed was seeing with my eyes already open, which was most confusing, though I prevailed this ability. His reaction proves it was working.
"I know it looks like the inside of a space station control center, but it's really not that advanced. I'm in a room adjacent to the master cockpit. The space you are seeing is inside our space ship. And that's not all. All of my sisters are here too. You can meet Junko right now."
I didn't wait any longer. Though I was only meant to show Reed Junko, I turned to face all of my sisters I had instructed to wait, so that Reed would be able to visualize all of them, the ones in the main room anyway. It took a moment with the sensory shift going in and out, but based on some soft gasps I felt from his breath, I knew he finally saw us at last, including Junko, who I focused my view onto. "This is Junko, my co-pilot, and these are some, but not all of my sisters, all of us Altiri." My vocalization ensured my sisters were on the same page with me too, knowing why I wanted them to stay just long enough for this moment. Though with their role now complete, most of them began the journey to head back to their own ships, as I turned back around to the beautiful display in the observation section.
"I've finally lost my mind." He sounded so fazed and unsure of himself, like he couldn't believe what he saw with his own eyes.
"No Reed. You finally found it, and I finally found you." Just saying that felt so magical. In this entire sea of stars, I found someone who I wanted to talk to, and I made it all happen through the choices I've set.
Unfortunately for me, Reed started packing his school supplies, ignoring my own sentiment instead. "I am so not doing this. Goodbye Lumina."
He then went on his morning ignoring me as if I were not there, though I had to keep myself quiet to rethink how this plan is supposed to work. He doesn't know how to disconnect the connection on his own, and I'm not going to tell him how to do it, but if it warms up today before he learns how to call me back, or before the day ends, all of this will be for nothing. As happy as I am now, I have not won just yet.
I waited for a while, until Reed brought himself outdoors in the night still waning, his curiosity holding his eyes to the twinkling stars above, amazed at the possibilities, but unwilling to accept the reality given to him. I had no choice but to join him in gazing through that sky, wondering what I should do next, my confidence melting at every second this drags on.
It's even hard for me to believe this was really happening. If it were not for the confirmation of all other Altiri in my world, I too would wonder if this alien world was real or fake. I don't know how to get through to him though. All I want to do is be a friend to him, but how can I accomplish this if he has no faith in our existence? Reed, I thought all you wanted back then was the miracle I granted you already.
Did she finally take the hint and leave me alone? Or is she still really here in silence?
"Would it bother you if you knew I still was here?"
"So you are still here! Honestly. Why won't you just stop what you are doing?"
Never before have I felt such true shame, to think it is really possible that Reed despises all of my existence. It's all too fast; he wants nothing to do with us, and he won't even give this a chance. I guess the rumor that the purges makes subjects more accepting of us was but a solid lie... "We are linked in the sixth sense of telepathy. If I were to shut it down now... Well..." I couldn't even finish that sentence, to consider the thought that I may never see him again. I could never bear it; I would never allow it, and yet I'm not the one with the controls anymore. Reed and I share this connection, so he must also consent to this by day's end.
"Then what? This all stops for good? I said that is what I want, and yet you refuse to leave. Can you at least tell me what it is you are trying to do?"
"I wanted us to meet each other just like we are now. I want us to be friends, not enemies, with someone as rare as you." Feel it Reed! Feel how much I care about you from the bottom of my heart! This very moment we are sharing now is exactly what I've wanted for a long time, and knowing that I helped make it happen has made me more complete than I've ever been before. We both deserve better than we've been served; all of us do.
"This is a bit much, even for me." Still unconvinced, Reed folded his arms on the sidewalk of the neighborhood street, addressing me directly. "Of course I knew all along this was because of something like friendship. But what makes me so rare anyway? Aren't you supposed to be the alien?"
I didn't quite understand his question, but I knew all I wanted to say, where it involves my reasons. "Look out there to the sky Reed. You've felt us calling out to you before; I know you have. You've always wondered what else could be out there, wondered if anybody in the world would ever try to understand you, to give real effort. As for us, you and I are the only ones who can telepathically communicate with each other. Before now, you didn't possess that ability, not until I purged you."
"Purged me? What does that even mean? Doesn't purge mean to—"
"No, it's not the same term you were thinking of." I know this much already, that the phrase purge is a specialty term for us Altiri, while the phrase also exists in the human English language, though with a very different definition. For us, it doesn't mean to destroy or remove, quite the opposite instead. "Purging is a totally different and complex process for us Altiri. It's a learned ability that allows us to transpart some of our powers onto other humans from any distance."
Transpart? As in— "Hold up a second," Reed interrupted anxiously. "You transparted your powers onto me?" He sounds so different suddenly, as if he was willing to have a bit more faith in the idea than before. "If that's what you mean, I could probably fly around and shoot laser beams from my eyes?"
Oh, so that's why. He must think that if he could use some provable, visible, tangible superpowers, that in itself would be enough evidence. Still, I had enough trouble holding back a mild laugh at his accusation. Laser beams from the eyes? Come on now! "How cute. You actually think I'm some green ugly thing from those horror films? You think I could turn into a bat and fly around like a super hero?"
"Uh, I've already seen you twice now, dumbass. And you can't mock me for not knowing anything about the Altiri in the first place. I know nothing about your supposed alien world."
"But..." That's not possible! What does he mean he knows nothing about the Altiri? Phase five of the purge should have taken care of all of that! Is this the reason he's so skeptical? What information was left out from the purge, about me, about us, about The Unity and everything in our world? "You should know much more than the basics! Something must have gone wrong with the purge after all." For all I know, the summer he would have endured during the purge could have damaged the process in some way. We're all lucky the purge didn't outright fail and discard itself from the excessive heat alone.
"What is this purge business you keep going on about?"
With a rough sigh, I took some time to collect my thoughts while sipping on my water bottle, entrusting Junko to handle the controls while I gently leaned in seat against the metal wall of the main room, wondering how long this was going to take.
"The purge signal we sent to you is specifically designed to open up your psionic abilities. But it also has a secondary purpose of teaching you everything we already know about the Altiri, all through subconscious subversion protocols."
Right... Is he pretending to believe me? "You lost me. I have no idea what you are saying right now." Guess I should have explained this better. I don't know how much he will understand though, given his age and all.
But there must me some common link. There has to be knowledge he retained from the purge! Herios said herself that a purge completion would be impossible without this! "Come on Reed! You're telling me that in none of your dreams, nothing strange ever happened to you that you couldn't fully comprehend? You didn't have any of our shared memories about the Altiri? Or what about our history lessons, or the scenery of that world you must have seen and felt? What about my very own name?"
"What are you..."
Failing to register his confusion, I pressed on faster, my desperation exploding, as this would only make everything twice as impossible as before. I could have simply told him that all he learned from the purge was real, that it wasn't mere fiction, but if he can't recall anything, then I'll have to start this all from scratch again! Don't you remember the woman who purged you Reed? Didn't you feel my heart calling out to you in the long months I've waited? "You may have felt off about many things from the very moment that you were purged, but all of it was real and happened to you."
For reasons I didn't catch onto, Reed held the side of his head after stopping his walk entirely, not to demonstrate pain, instead great confusion. "Lumina. When was this? When was this moment that you purged me exactly?"
"We all pitched in and purged you on August 11, 2009." I would never forget that day, no matter how much time passed. We purged Reed on my own birthday, although such an additive was never intentional.
"That was a little over a year ago..."
"I can't be certain of this, but I think it would have been the day before you began middle school, or some time near that." I feared before that I was running out of time to prevent Reed from turning into a heathen, but I knew as well that the powers of a purge on his mind would distract him from those thoughts, halting a hellish transformation.
Instead of the reaction I expected after hearing Reed gasp to the revelation, I waited for silent seconds, being patient to let him realize what it all means for himself. I soon discovered that I should not have allowed him to try, because what came next was the most confusing and impossible spur of thoughts I've ever heard in any individual. It was if his mind was going rampant, out of control, with too many thoughts to process at once, with such unprecedented speeds I've seen in nobody else.
I could only make out some of the sentences blasting away at his mind, the thoughts so quick they overlapped some of the noise of other thoughts, though I knew immediately how disruptive and negative they were. Did the revelation of his own purge scare him this badly, or was this something else? "Reed? Reed!" I didn't know if my shouting had awakened him, dragged him from his own chaotic mind, or slipped his consciousness somewhere else, but in a mere moment, the link between us surged and intensified, all because the mental energy within him became so alive and alert.
With senses as sharp as knives, Reed's eyes were wide open, and his mind truly awakened to the nexus of information around him. "All of that... All of that was your doing?"
"Eh—" Only now could I feel the anger in his inflections, such hostility to the mere realization that I was responsible for this purge, that I was responsible for any and all of the strange things which occurred within Reed from the beginning of August 11th last year to now. "Yes. Yes it was." I may have caused some problems by giving him this purge, but it will all be worth it in the end.
"Tell me Lumina..." His own hesitation had me curious, but without delay, I could see him looking at his hands, shaking in front of him from the horrors I had no insight to, his heartbeat accelerating. "Lumina!"
I let out a sudden "Yeep!" after jumping slightly off my feet, the abrupt noise of his anger shaking me to no end.
"What did you do to me? Which thoughts are supposed to be mine, huh? Which part of myself am I supposed to believe in after you messed with my head?!"
"Reed, please! What's done is already done." This can't be happening now! I've never seen him so angry before, and all for such reason. He knows the effects are temporary, right? "I didn't mean you any harm!"
No matter what I tried to say, my voice lacked what confidence and passion Reed returned, though to feel such anger brought me to my knees. "Do you have any idea how socially awkward I've become, thanks to, thanks to your meddling? The reason I have no friends isn't because I messed up, it's because of you! You asshole!"
"No!" No, it isn't because of me! It can't be my fault... No matter what I wanted to think though, my imagination already went to work constructing how the whole incident could have been mapped out. What if I made a mistake after all? What if my purging Reed in the first place, I've only doomed him further from what we both wanted?
I could hear a new commotion in the background of Reed's area, some woman addressing him with a stern and confused outlook. "Who the hell are you yelling at?" She was only onto him since Reed and I both were not using our telepathic voices to speak to each other discretely, but I think the both of us were beyond caring about the minor detail anymore...
Is this really true? Am I the one who caused him such damage and pain, by provoking improper growth with my own purge? I wanted to deny the blame until I was blue in the face, but the mere possibility that it could be true froze my mind and body in ways I've never been frozen before, leaving myself mute while Reed continued to the bus stop, sluggishly in deep thought.
Who cares what she says? If all of this Altiri nonsense is just fake, part of my own imagination, then even something like a psychological purge should not exist either. So there is nothing to get worked up about. All of his thoughts were laid out for us both, publicly projected without intent, but I was too far gone to worry. Even knowing he was purged, he still doesn't believe in us. Still, if strange things were happening to me before, wouldn't that mean that I've slowly been going crazy from the start? What if I have a split personality disorder or something? I don't want to end up in a nuthouse!
This has all happened before, and I needed to remind myself how much care I should use before everything gets way out of control. It's bad enough Reed thinks this isn't reality anymore, but if he genuinely believes to be going insane, he might submit to therapeutic tests from... I can't let that happen, not again, after those girls died from their own madness.
Speaking of which, it's been too quiet suddenly. Why isn't she saying anything? Did I manage to get rid of her?
I don't know how else to convince him though. Was it always to be this difficult for those who purge others? "Still here."
"Naaaguhl!" Even though I've kept my focus on us so strong, I think I've finally run out of words to say. I don't know what to do anymore. How annoying that she could hear every last one of my thoughts! "Hey. Psst!" Lumina? Hey! Lumina!"
Why is he trying to whisper to me in normal speak? Has Reed learned nothing of our current interactions? "I told you already, if you want to communicate with me without looking like a maniac, use your thoughts to do it!" Honestly, does this guy not take a hint? "Whether I project or not, the people around you cannot hear me."
I wondered briefly if Reed was trying to get my attention for anything specific, but he soon enough soured his own mood again from my little lesson. "If that's how it is, then just purge everybody. Ruin their lives too why don't you?"
Where does all that negativity come from? It isn't just about himself or others, but the whole world itself. He can hate the world all he wants, but I've come here to help him see something greater. "Quit being such a baby! Besides, I can only purge one human being. Once I've done so, I can never purge anybody else ever again." You Reed, are the only one I've truly wanted to purge, the only one I felt I could protect from the darkness this world spreads... What even is there to say anymore? I don't know what to do. Can I ask my sisters for help? No, they'll just suggest I use unsavory, deceptive tactics to trick him instead. I can't entrust something so important to them, not if it means lying to the one I care about.
"Bummer!" Reed returned sarcastically. "At least now I know why you won't leave me alone. Not that I care."
"You don't seem to know anything about me. It's not like I was trying to mess up any part of your life. But what should I care anymore? If you're so distraught to even talk to me, then I guess you haven't been doing too badly."
"What did you just say?" Sounds like I've already triggered his animosity onto me.
I have no way out of this nightmare, but if I'm going down, if I'm going to fail in the most important thing I've ever done, I'm not going to leave these things unsaid. "You heard me well enough," I shot back. "You really think I didn't know? You've had trouble making friends from the very first grade, and after what I've seen in fifth, I thought my purge wouldn't have created any issues. But hey? You know yourself best, right?"
With no idea why this conversation incites so much of his anger, all I could do was passively listen to his desperate chatter. "Riddle me this Einstein! How do you know anything about my past? If you are who you say you are, explain that!"
"With clairvoyance. We've been watching over you since you were a small child, you and a few others. I watched you grow up every winter, and seen some of the things you had to endure. They're tiny to most people, but they affect you deeply, that much I was able to tell just by watching."
"That's just plain creepy no matter how you put it."
"And here I thought you would have been happy with this; free from a world so crappy and boring." How long have I seen him rely on such strong insight, to crave intelligent interaction, only to be left stranded and dry? How many times have I seen Reed try to mingle with those around him, only to be slapped away at every chance; every day deepening those wounds, every moment suffocating what survived?! He cannot hide this much from me. I don't care if it was creepy or obsessive; I know the truth to this level.
"Don't even go there, illusion! Even if you could explain away everything I went through during the purge, it was you who caused it all in the first place! My life might not be anywhere close to perfect, but at least I don't go around creating fabrications and imaginary friends to ease my pain, until now I guess. I can't handle this..."
"Reed..." Is this all he wants now? The idea of us talking matters less than the idea of our existence being proven beyond all doubt? Was Hurma and the others right all along? Did I seriously misread someone, me, the one who was always so amazing at seeing into the hearts of others at a mere glance? It could not be so, yet here Reed was, standing in the contrary before me, an alien who by all appearances was too friendly and open-hearted, hath already turned to soulless steel. Maybe I was right about his character, but too late to react. Maybe I was wrong about everything, and that Reed is not as special as I thought he was.
"Oh, and I can hear the roaring engine of the bus now." Reed basically finished his walk to the bus stop area, carrying the distant view of the yellow bus in both our eyes, though I've never felt so defeated to hear anyone wish for an escape from my presence. "Looks like I'll see you again, never!"
"Reed, please just—"
"That's enough!" I whimpered from his wrath; too desperate to be aggressive, and too fearful to be malicious, yet equally powerful enough to rip a new hole into my heart. "I'm sick of it already! I've got school to catch and this is going nowhere! At least there, I'm not totally crazy!"
"You sure about that bruh?" One of the school kids was now chuckling with his heathen mates, all making Reed look ashamed. Meanwhile, having been dragged to the bottom of my own failure, there was only one thing I could do left, merely just a duty to the protocol I was supposed to follow in this process.
"Okay, look. I know what I said earlier, about not wanting to drop the connection. And I can tell that you want to, but you don't yet know how to."
"This the part where you give me the key on shutting it off?"
"Please just hear me out." Every nerve in my body screamed at me for even going where I was, but I had no choice. Even if I fail, Reed should have the right to know that all of this is temporary if his chooses it to be. "By the end of the night, when you go to bed and try to sleep, the connection will automatically shut off. It will do so anytime you get tired enough to fall asleep, even if you were to fight it a bit. People can't project psionic energy in their sleep, so that would include telepathic connections too."
"Sounds like a problem that solves itself... A full day huh? At least now I have a set deadline."
"The thing is, the completion of the purge process has a final phase, this phase. It automatically initiates—" cutting myself off in correction, I continued with revision. "It forces the first connection to stabilize between us, but that automatic process is the only one time that will ever happen."
"So?"
It should be easy enough for him to understand. He wants a way out of this already. I can't give up just yet, so I won't kill the connection now, but I can't force this on him either. "After tonight, next morning rather, you won't hear my voice again, that is unless you put in the effort to reestablish the link. I can't just force my way into your head like that, not after the first day is over. You will have to call me and allow the connection to happen. It's a two way process that will become something only you can do. And that means, after today, you have the total choice of deciding whether or not you want to see me again." I didn't even try to hide my sadness, hoping instead he would absorb all I was feeling, and put it to through his own heart.
"Okay," he agreed calmly. "Let's do that then. Once today is over, I won't have to deal with this anymore."
"Please Reed!" I cried with all my strength, promising whatever it takes for him to reconsider! He can't choose to kick me out, not like this, not now! "At least take this one day to listen to all I have to say. I'll do everything in my power to prove to you that I do exist! And if you still don't like this, it really will be over forever."
For a moment too long for me to breathe, we both held our air, all for Reed to consider the conviction in my words. "I dont know..."
"Please! What do you have to lose? I really just want you to consider this!" I can tell him about anything, any part of my world, answer any question he might ever have about us! Maybe all he needs is to hear more about us in order to understand why we care about him, at least why I care.
"... Why though?"
Doing my best to hide the tears already dripping from my eyes, I did my best to answer. "Because... Because I really do want to be friends with you. Me and my sisters are all on your side." My choice words came directly from my heart; I didn't need to consider them in any kind of thought.
"Oh really? A small band of space aliens wants to buddy up with me that badly?"
"You know that I do! You know how I already feel about this. You're one of the only friends I want. I'm that sure of it! I could have chosen any other human to purge, but I only wanted to pick you. You've been trying to make friends for a long time, and you still have every right to keep trying... But please let me try too Reed. I want the two of us to be friends as well. I promise that was the reason why I purged you, why I still think it was worth some of the trouble, though I am sorry about what that purge did to you... Please..." What else could I say? I've never laid my entire heart out like this to anyone before, and I'm willing to bet Reed never had anyone do this for him either.
He kept quiet, his mind finally calm compared to how it was before, back in deep consideration for what I was giving him. However, it wasn't long before that large yellow truck showed up, disrupting our attention, but not enough for me to lose hope. "Don't you want to know why? Don't you want to learn what I really see in you?" I stood back up from being on the floor, declaring absolution to us both, to our connection, to our day, and to our merged reality, and somewhere inside of him, I just knew that the gears in his thoughts and emotions were turning, to consider everything all over again.
Even if he tells me to clear off, I won't leave him. Even if he becomes annoyed by my presence, I won't give up on him. I have to make the most of this entire day, no matter what it takes, to help Reed. Should he not understand that which makes him so special, that which I've grown to love so much?