Chapter 21: She told her so

  Project Overlord my ass! More like Project Insanity!

Shepard was thinking of the mess of a mission she had just come back from, under the hot water of her shower. Once again Cerberus had fucked up by trying to play god. The terrorist organization had found a crashed dreadnought with inactive geths and saw the perfect opportunity to study and experiment on them, the cell’s objective was to find a way to control the geths. Until that point everything was alright in her opinion. Yes the experiments were risky but they were acceptable. They were only activating one or two geths at a time and they were physically shackled. When it went all fubar was when the Illusive Man threatened to stop the project due to the lack of progress.

The head of the project, Gavin Archer, was too obsessed with the possibilities and couldn’t take failure well so instead of taking the loss plugged his autistic little brother, David, who understood the geths noises or language or whatever, to the VI they had created to control the geths. David’s mind, unsurprisingly, didn't handle the merger with the VI very well prompting the new hybrid VI to go berserk, killing every living human on the planet and trying to leave it.

The only survivor was the head of the cell, who tried to cover everything up. The team had to go all over the planet to do some necessary tasks. Having to escape the heart of a geth dreadnought with all its geths suddenly activating was now in her top three of scariest shit she experienced. Thankfully she had taken Tali on the team and with Rick they went to hack geths left and right making them fight each other. Miranda and herself were dealing with any surplus of geths in the meantime. The more they were on the planet the more Rick became suspicious of Gavin Archers and the true events leading to them being here. It proved to be true as finally in the underground complex where the VI was, it showed them what had led to the current situation. When they entered its core room they understood immediately what Gavin had done to David. The fight had not been that difficult and they finally pulled David out of the misery he was in, alive. She had never seen her friend so enraged. Tali and Miranda had to do their very best to hold him back to murder Gavin, who felt sorry for what he did to his brother. While she believed the man, she wasn’t leaving David in his hands any longer. In the end Rick changed his focus from Gavin to David and picked the young man up and left the room. They had brought him up on the Normandy so that Chakwas could treat him. 

In the end she contacted Anderson and asked if there was a place for David in the Project Ascension. Understanding how gifted the young man was, the Admiral didn’t hesitate to accept her request. Luckily for David, Anderson had a good friend in the teaching staff at Grissom Academy and believed there wouldn’t be any problem to enroll him there.

The fact that David understood and communicated with the geths was game changing. Possibly. That convinced her even more that she needed to activate the geth in EDI’s server room. Not now, though, David had been exposed to geths enough as it was, there was no need to expose him more. That pushed her to alter her plan a bit; with David on board they had to make another trip on the Citadel to drop him off. Next on the list was taking care of Jack.

 The experience had deeply affected Miranda who, being Miranda, didn’t show it overtly, but she has been spacing out a bit on the shuttle during the trip back. She only hoped that it would help get her out from under TIM’s thumb. For now the brunette was locked in her quarters probably deep in thought.

Turning off the water, she dried herself and exited the bathroom. It was rather late and there was no need for her to dress herself. Instead, she picked Rick’s shirt that she was still using as a sleepwear and put it on. She felt so small in it; she always found it funny. Where it fit perfectly Rick’s body revealing his well sculpted muscles, on her it was the opposite. It reached the middle of her thigh and the short sleeves her elbows. She looked ridiculous but she didn’t care, she felt good in it and that’s what mattered.

Just as she was about to get into bed someone was at her door. Allowing entrance she saw Tali come in, in an obvious state of stress.

“Tali? What’s going on? What happened?” she said as she made her way to the quarian and led her to the couch.
“This is bad Shep- Jane. I received a message from the Fleet’s Admiralty board. They are charging me with treason!”
“What?!”
“My trial is in two weeks and I have to be there! My absence would be considered a de facto guilty verdict.”
“Shit. What exactly happened? How do you find yourself in this situation?”
“I don’t know, I’m as surprised as you are!”
“That’s alright, the moment we’re done with Jack’s errand we’re going to the fleet. You don’t have to worry.”
“I’m not worried, Jane… Oh of course I am worried, who am I kidding but I know I’m innocent, so I’m not that worried. At least not about those charges.”
“What are you truly worried about then?”
“If there will be a fleet left if Rick ever learns about that.” replied the quarian in the most fearful tone she had ever heard from her.

“Oh, shit.”

____________________________________________________________

Rick spent most of his time with David as a support, to Shepard’s shock. It was the first time she saw him being empathetic. She saw them looking at a terminal and numbers and the one time she went into the med-bay EDI was participating in the conversation. When questioned later the AI had answered that Rick gave David mathematical puzzles and numbers to work on to not let his mind wander back to the awful experiment he had been subjected to. She could understand and respect that. She wondered if Rick was taking care of their guest because he was a genius like him. A different kind of genius but a genius nonetheless. From Karin’s report David experienced nightmares his first night here but seemed to be fine since Rick and EDI entered the scene. That led her to think about her XO’s own nightmares. He had not visited her once during the night since his return on the ship (6 weeks of therapy with Doctor Michel and daily doses of sleeping pills had helped with that). Yes. Shepard knew about his nightly visits but did nothing about it. One, because if he came to her all sneaky like that, probably was because it was his last resort. Two, because he just cuddled her and did nothing else, not that she would have minded. Three, because she loved it. She loved to know that only she could help him and she loved to feel him in her embrace. In a way she felt like he was hers and no one else. Not Tali and not Miranda. Seeing him care like that put a smile on her face that she tried to hide as much as she could. Sure, he cared about Tali but she was important to him while David was a stranger. That made her realize once and for all her true feelings.

Yeah, I love him, alright.

The time with him away and the dreams of that time on the Collector's ship made her think long and hard about what she felt about the helmeted man. She thought she did, then thought she didn’t, back and forth. Now she really had her answer. The question she was left with was simple.

What do I do about it?

 She had no idea and couldn’t really ask for advice or help. Miranda wasn’t much into relationships and was having sex with him. Jack was not even worth the thought. Samara hadn’t had one in 400 years, Karin told her she sucked at it and that’s why she threw herself at her job, and finally, Tali was in love with him too but thought that no one knew. In other words she was on her own. Meaning, pretty much screwed and not in a good way as she has never been into love much. She had been in love once, when she was a teen but it was a forbidden love and had to let it go. The memory was still painful and she tried to not think of it often which she found to be more and more difficult as Rick reminded her of it sometimes.

She was brought out of her musing when Rick bumped her shoulder with his own to catch her attention. Looking up she saw Jack missing and Miranda’s ass exited the shuttle.

Getting on her feet  she was right behind Rick and got outside. Having a look around she saw the partly destroyed complex that vegetation had partially recovered. The dark clouds and the falling rain made it look very gloomy. The team left the landing pad through a door and went down a small ramp. A still functional console was near a wall and Jack activated it. It was a conversation between a scientist and the security officer of the facility and about doing something behind the Illusive Man’s back. That comforted Miranda who commented that the facility went rogue.

“That’s what you would think, didn't you? He didn’t say anything about what they were hiding from the Illusive Man.” said Jack.
“For a black ops organization like Cerberus, a cell going rogue means they got caught doing something they shouldn’t have, Bubble. From my many experiences with different Cerberus’ cells the only one who didn’t go rogue so far is yours.” commented Rick.
“The husks, the creepers…” Shepard began listing their dealings with Cerberus two years prior.
“The rachnis, Akuze…” Rick continued.
“Admiral Kahoku, and most recently project overlord.” finished Shepard.
“While we trust you Bubble, we don’t trust Cerberus.” Rick stated.

Jack didn’t bother to comment that she, in fact, didn’t trust Miranda and simply went forward. Passing through long corridors and doors they arrived in a secluded part of the facility that was open air. Jack related how it was where she was forced to fight the other kids there, her body pumped full of drugs muddling her mind. She didn’t care if she had to kill her opponent, she was out of her cell and that all that mattered to her. She also didn’t want to get shocked by the electric collar they had put on her.

When they reached the other side of this open space they saw another console on the side of the door leading inside. It was a message from the same security officer from earlier babbling about an uprising from the kids. He asked for permission to exterminate the rebelling kids and to secure Jack as they couldn’t lose her. To the ex-convict it didn’t make any sense as in her memories she was the one that started the riot.

“Things might have happened that you didn’t see.” Shepard offered an answer.
“The kids attacked me, the guards attacked me, the place automatic systems attacked me. There isn’t much room for interpretation.”
“Perhaps but there is nonetheless.” Rick cut in. “ What I don’t understand is why the kids attacked you. I understand the guards and the automatic systems, but why the kids? What was different between you and them?”
“I don’t know, I was isolated from the rest of them.” Jack answered.
“If you were isolated then your recounting of what happened may be accurate from your point of view but not factual.”
“Whatever…” she said in frustration.

They made their way deeper into the facility and at the end of a corridor, saw two freshly killed varrens indicating that they were not alone. That turned out to be vortchas a room later when they were ambushed. Not a difficult fight but a frustrating one as they all had flame thrower with fuel tanks on their back stopping any idea Rick may have had to do a biotic charge. Unless he wanted to go back to the hospital which he definitely did not. Instead he found some comfort by using the sniper rifle he found on the Collector’s ship (that he had modified) on the lone Krogan with the Vorchas. One shot completely destroyed the alien’s armor and stunned it a bit and the second blew his head up. Poor bastard didn’t even last 10 seconds in the fight from the moment he appeared.

After walking a bit more they arrived in an area that Jack recognized as it was the sight she had from her cell. The big window on the wall was actually a one-way mirror. She had spent time watching and yelling at them thinking that they were ignoring her while in truth they didn’t know she was there as they couldn’t see nor hear her. Getting to the other side of the room they found another console beyond a door. This time the recordings were the most revealing of them all. The scientist of the facility used all the other children for all sorts of experiments which if successful and the subject survived in a more or less good condition they would do it on Jack otherwise they discarded it.

“So that’s the reason why…” Rick thought aloud.
“What?!” Jack exclaimed.
“You were the real prize, the one they couldn’t lose. So they used the other children however they wanted to test things. What worked was done on you, what didn’t was discarded. To a child being tortured if you, the reason for their pain was to go away, it would stop. You add to that that they isolated you and that only you mattered, they would have hated you more than enough to want you dead.”
“That’s bullshit! They did everything on me! And I survived because I was the toughest!”
“Did you undergo any of the experiments that guy talked about? I don’t think so. But don’t misunderstand, that doesn’t mean it wasn't inhuman and horrible experiments they did to you nor that you are not tough. In fact  it doesn’t matter if you were or not, what matters is the now and you’re plenty tough enough.”

Jack looked at him in silence for a moment, a look on her face that he couldn’t recognize. Discarding her thoughts, she played the next recording and was in panic when the scientist said they were going to infiltrate the alliance to start again.

“The ascension project is nothing like that, it’s not a well known project but it’s a school for biotic kids. For those in the know it’s a well respected project.” Shepard reassured her.
“Their biotic teaching staff suck though, still just in case I’ll pass along to Anderson those recordings one of those assholes may have gotten away.” Rick said, data-mining the console with his omni-tool.
“What do you mean they suck?” Jack asked.
“You send Red there and she would be seen as the goddess of biotics.” he replied in an amused tone.
“Wow, yeah they suck.”
“Hey! I’m not that bad!”

On the side Miranda was a bit lost. Those kinds of things should never have happened here. They had treated the kids like disposable resources. Like tissues. She couldn’t believe that it was Cerberus which did that.

“Could you recover everything else?” she asked Rick.
“I can try but the console is badly damaged; after more than a decade it’s not surprising.”
“Finally doubting, cheerleader?”
“I can’t deny the fact that many Cerberus cells did monstrous things, there are too many examples of that, especially this one. But it’s not enough proof to say that it's Cerberus and not rogue cells. When I joined it, its objective was the advancement and preservation of humanity. It still is, that’s why I refuse to believe that those kinds of experiments, that goes against what defines humanity, were approved by the Illusive Man. I mean… I understand that sometimes questionable methods are necessary but this… This is way beyond crossing the line.”

Jack shook her head and looked at the direction of her former cell.

“It’s not… It’s not how I remember it.”
“You were a kid Jack and there was a lot going on.” Shepard replied.
“And you were kept in the dark about almost everything.” added Rick as he turned off his omni-tool “I got some things. Not much, they’re just logs and messages but perhaps some of it is important. Some data is damaged, I'll work on it first and send you the result, Bubble.”

Passing the door to the next section they saw three krogans mercs guarding a door. The leader was arguing about credits and the execution of the team. Listening to more was pointless for Rick in a blue blur rammed the krogan and shot him in the face with his shotgun. With his free hand he sent a Pull to the one on his left and spinning around while fast reloading his weapon sent another to the krogan on the right. From there he focused on the leader and unloaded his shotgun on him. Two loud booms confirmed that the rest of the team detonated his throw on the others krogans. With the leader dead he looked around and finished the krogan who was still breathing.

“Pop quiz, Carrot top. What happened with the two krogans?”
“You primed them with a pull, Jack detonated the one on the left with a shockwave and Miranda the one on the right with a warp. Both did a biotic explosion. Since they wore armor the effects were limited so I shot the left one and you shot the right one.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, good job. Now less lessons more…” Jack said as she walked towards the door which didn’t open.
“Hacking?” Rick said, getting a glare from the woman.

He immediately went to work and 6 seconds later the door opened, getting inside they found a human man trying to hide in a corner. It turned out that he was a survivor of this facility just like Jack. He had come back to find answers as to why he had been tortured here. Clearly he wasn’t all there and his body language made Rick believe he was a user. When he announced that he wanted to rebuild the facility and restart the project Jack saw red and drew her gun.

“Jack!” exclaimed Shepard.
“You heard him! He wants to start again!”
“He’s trapped in the past, you need to move on from yours. Don’t let it control you.”
“You pull that trigger and you’ll forever be that little girl that was imprisoned here. Forever chained to Cerberus like you are now.” Rick said.
“I’m not! I won’t!”
“They forced you to kill the other kids with drugs and a shocking collar. But there are no drugs and no collar now. It’s all you. Pulling that trigger… It just proves that their experiment succeeded and that you’re not that tough.” he finished.

The hand holding the gun was trembling. In fear or in rage, Rick didn’t know. Nobody moved, nobody said anything. They just waited for Jack's next action in a tense silence. Finally she lowered her gun and let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding.

“Get the hell out of here!”

The man didn’t need to be told twice as he ran away through the door, never looking back.

“Thank god!” Rick exclaimed loudly.
“What?!” replied the ex-convict.
“Had you killed him, gingerbread wouldn’t have stopped whining to me about how she failed to help you or some emotional shit that would have make me want to kill myself…”

Jack looked at him like he had sprouted a second head before laughing a little then louder and then louder until she was hysterically laughing.

“You were right Shepard!” the bald woman said as she tried to control her laughter.
“Told you so.” the redhead answered with a small smile, both ignoring the ‘about what?’ from Rick.
“Jesus, can’t believe I’m laughing in this place…How fucked up does that make me?”
“Just as fuck up as most people in the galaxy that had a shitty childhood. Despite what you may believe you’re not the only one abused as a child.”
“Most abused children don’t go through what I went through. No one could understand…” she protested.
“Perhaps you have suffered more than anyone, perhaps you have not. Doesn’t matter, it's not a dick measuring contest. What matters is that you did and that you’re not alone trying to cope or trying to save yourself. Baby didn’t have a childhood, he only knew his tank. Tali lost her mother early, her father was an absentee workaholic and she was stuck, like all quarian children, in a literal sterile bubble, with no one to talk to. Joker was born with brittle bones disease. He couldn’t play with the other kids, he needed extra care and got mocked for it. Thane from the youngest age was trained to be an assassin and Bubble was conditioned and used as a tool by her father. I was neglected, discriminated against and abandoned by my family. We all suffered and we all coped one way or another. Want to know a secret? Sometimes I envy how simple Baby is. Despite his lack of childhood he goes forward, not caring one bit about his short past. Tali went into tinkering things. Bubble and I chose to run away and while she found a crutch in order and rules, I found one in breaking them and chaos. Just like you did. You’re not alone dealing with some shit, you’re not alone being damaged, broken and fucked up. Our experience may not be remotely similar, doesn’t mean the worth and impact of it is different.”

Being done with what he had to say, he removed the bomb from his back, put it on the ground and began to arm it.

“Man, you suck at comforting people.” Jack said in a whisper.
“That was comforting? Really? I was just stating facts!”
“Just shut the fuck up and arm the damn bomb!” she said in fake anger.

Turning around and exiting the room, she had a small smile on her face.

Yeah, I’m not alone anymore. She thought as she remembered the people on the team that were in the same boat as her.