Of ink and Hope

Lu Huan

I slept well, perhaps for the first time probably since I was kidnapped. My body no longer hurts, even the minute pains are gone, which helps, that’s for sure. But, I didn’t realise how much I've missed being home: mom’s old room, grandfather’s spice blend, the rickety wooden floor. Even the old gear grandpa left in the garden because of either cheapskates, scammers or defunct patrons who couldn’t collect their orders. I remember the few times fools and thieves tried to get at them, only to find out why they are laid out to the elements, those blades, spears and armors were made with specific types of individuals in mind. Anyone else would find the item to be ‘disagreeable’ to say the least. Edge alignment drifting last second, spear’s shaft chafing the wearer’s hand if not outright breaking, breastplates unbuckling at the worst of times. They would always find their ways back, most of the time.

Sitting on the window sill, I look out to the bright morning sky, hues of yellows and red as the sun crests above the hills, the village was already pretty lively. Farmers were already at their fields, while others took to feeding the many chickens, ducks and other farm animals. I recognised quite a few faces as they went about their day, even the local captain of the guard who turned out to be uncle Guiren.

I smiled as he looked at me, anger and distrust simmering in him for all to see, yet he couldn’t do anything about it. Putting my index on my lips, looking him in the eyes, making him shiver as his face turned red soon after. He had to trust and work with me, a defector of The Blood Demon cult, and couldn’t do anything about it. Outing me would endanger everyone in the village, the secret spreading far and wide to any spy, merchant and members of the beggar sect.

It is nothing but sheer luck that I didn’t use my real name back at the cult. Who would have thought that speaking with broken teeth and jaws could save your future life? Never dared to correct them afterwards, didn’t have the spine nor the might to tell them they were wrong. Still, now it works in my favor.

“How did you sleep?” I hear grandfather Gui calling out to me as he walks back to the house, his hands holding a jute bag. The fresh and potent smell of iron coming from it let me know of the menu for the day.

“Great, better than I thought possible. Are we having pork?”

“That we are. But first we might need to speak about both you and that benefactor of yours.” I tilt my head, we had already talked the whole day before about that, yet, the look he gave me indicated something else.

“Sure, see you in the kitchen.”

Moving back, I closed the window and got out of my room, dressed in some of mom’s old brown and loose training robes. I felt nostalgic from just seeing them, but now being able to wear them as they actually fit me, made me cry.

“There you are, and I see you’ve found your mother’s tunics: they suit you well Huan.” Grandpa Gui was already cutting the pork meat he had bought.

“Thank you, it feels weird to see them, after such a long time. Even more so being able to wear them like this, I remember them being so large and long I could have used them as blankets back then.”

“I remember. How you grew, my little Huan…” He stared at me a while, his eyes soft and kind, probably seeing my mom still wearing them in his mind.

“So, you wanted to ask something of me? And painter Iulia?”

“Yes, that. About you first: you said yesterday that you had made quite a ruckus at that place, and had to ‘dispatch’ pursuers during your escape, plus you’ve gotten ride of whatever the Blood parasite is, can you enlighten me about the how and what that is? And what do you want to do, now that you are safe back home?” He went back to cutting the pork leg, belly and ribs like this was just another day.

“Well, the how i did all of that is more of a twist of fate and luck than anything: early on, when I had just been sold to the cult, I was just a test subjects for their lowest members- .” The wooden table split, grandfather’s forehead veins popped as the rest of his face turned red. “And that was when two inner disciples decided to willingly botch a harvesting trigram, grafting that thing on my soul. Which is why I called that a twist of fate, because in the fathomless idiocy, they created a monstrous cultivation technique: any pain, of body mind or otherwise, turns into KI for my own use, directly.” He looks up, his face tense, observing me calmly, but as I look back just as calm as before, he starts to laugh.

“What happened to those idiots?”

“I punched their teeth in just after, and used the first to beat on the other with until they died.” I reply, feeling all light and bubbly, feeling my lips tug upwards as he bellows again.

“Ruthless! I am proud of you Huan. I guess that’s how and why you’ve had to leave that place.” he pointed out the obvious and i nod.

“In part, but the other would likely endanger you. As for the blood parasite? That disgusting thing’s an assurance that would poison one's body, dissolving all Ki in the Dantian, making the victim mundane and weak long enough to be helplessly executed.”

“And with that trigram, you don’t need your dantian when wounded. Your mom would have been so jealous of that, always entering into fights and scraps she underestimated, that one.” He looks away. His hands are still chopping and preparing ingredients.

“What did you want to ask Iulia? Or ask me about her?”

“Oh, yes. Just like you said, that girl is grieving, hard. We had talked a bit last night, when she came out of her room, i accidentally made her feel worse by telling her a few private things: But those are not mine to share, If she wishes to open up about that, give her space to do it. I think the two of you might appreciate whatever you come to speak of. Plus, If she is like that woman, she will need a few days to herself before she succeeds in fighting her own demons.”

He turns around, Lighting up a fire under the stove as he starts throwing vegetables into a wok.

“By the way, what do you think of her? As a person I mean.”

“Painter Iulia? As a person… Well, I saw that she was kind, despite whatever she is going through, and patient too… She, she is interesting and has a. A flair to her that I enjoy seeing, I guess?” And cute too, but i can’t find a way to say this to him without sounding weird.

He turns back, a big smile on his face. “Heh? Really? I guess you are indeed your mother’s daughter, then.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?!? grandpa!”

“Nothing, just that you, your mom, and I guess me too, have similar taste, that’s all. Nothing wrong with it, lass. Now, if you could pass me the diced pork belly.”

I helped him make lunch as we caught up with each other. He told me what had happened during the last 9 years, apologizing for not having been there to help defend the village during the attack. While I told him of my life, of how I lived before and after having the harvesting trigram put on my soul. Of how I rose through the ranks with my sweat and blood, and of the things I saw.

We spent the whole day just talking to each other like this. When dusk came, I left the house, saying that I had to move my legs for a bit.

And moved my legs, I did. Hiding in plain sight with the Blood wraith soundless hunts, I followed and stalked Nuan Guiren. Making sure he didn't do anything stupid.

It turns out that he took to drinking his fear away.

"Damn girl. Her mother already brought the Fan clan's rival attention nine years ago, and now it's the heaven damned Blood Demon cult of all things? Damn freaks, all of them Lu are worse than plague rats, bringing misery everywhere they go." He spits, drinking another cup of liquor.

"And that damn Lu Gui, wretched cripple unable to die! Who does he think he is? " he slams the empty bottle on the floor, his face red as he then hits the table.

"If only..." I leave his house, letting him stew in his anger and disgust. To Make it clear I have to keep an eye on him.

Going back home, I approach my benefactor room, yet I hear nothing.

"Did you see benefactor Iulia exit her room, grandpa?" I ask as I join him at the table, grabbing the wine cup he extends me.

"Not at all, Like I said. She might need a few days." He looked away, pensive.

"What did you tell her?"

"Nothing that should have put her in this state, yet I think it crumbled her already shaky equilibrium. I will have to apologize to her when she is up. And like I already said: It would be better for her to say it to you herself."

"Right." I finished my cup, hugged him and headed to bed.

The following day was much the same, hanging out with grandfather, keeping tabs on Guiren and hopping for Iulia to come out of her room.

Yet on the morning of the third day, I decided to act.

'I can't let my savior rot to death, not while I can do something about it.'

Iulia’s POV

‘My head is buzzing, I am so thirsty… What time is it? ‘

I woke up with a migraine, again, yet this time somehow in the same place as before… I don’t remember going back to bed though. Did. Did Huan’s grandfather bring me back ? I don’t know. I, I don’t think I care. I am so tired I don’t want to do anything…

‘Why? Why did she have to leave me behind?’ The simple thought hurts me, I feel so hollow and cold, trying to get up, I give up halfway, exhausted. The more I try to think the more tired I become, the more cold and empty I feel, this crushing void in my chest everytime i think of what happened.

I feel something wet running down my face, right. I am crying, yeah, it makes sense.

Sniffing loudly, I turn sideways, heavy, feeble. Hurt. And stay there, letting time pass as I look at the walls. Time goes by as the sunlight coming through the blinds rises and intensifies only to fade after a long while. My mind gradually stilled, all the waves and chaos ceasing.

I blink and there’s light once more coming through the blinds, my head hurts again, yet I know my body can endure, I made it so. So I stay there, letting everything flow, my mind vomiting things, both pleasant and otherwise. It I feel my body slowly weakening, hunger and thirst growing stronger, yet despite my body howling at me, I ignore it. That much is nothing, i should suffer, If not for being alive, to have left her behind without fighting. I may just be an adept, but I am not an apprentice anymore, I could have helped, I could have fought by her side. Even if it was just to catch an Arrow… like my sweet Papusha…

My heart tightens again. Nausea coming back, yet I force myself to stay there. I can smell spice and the scent of meat sizzling, my stomach growling once more, fiercer this time, my mouth salivating yet I refuse to move.

‘I don’t deserve hers nor her family’s kindness…’ I reprimand myself, clenching my jaw hard, enduring.

After seeing the sun rising through the blinds again, I realise that I am trembling, my mind feeling feverish. My eyes sore and blurry as i start hearing voices again:

-Show to those that would see us harm, our defiance! Our resilience, for we are worthy of it and so much more. To be who we are, WE FIGHT!-

I smile. ‘Why? Why should I? What is there to fight anymore? WHY AM I SMILING?!’

I slap myself as I see the sun coming through the blinds again, yet before I can feel the pain. Something grabs my arm tight. I look up, and see Lu Huan. The woman I saved right after being a disgrace of a pupil and of a friend… of an adopted daughter as well…

“Are you here to throw me out? Don’t worry I will do so myself. I don’t intend to take more than you’ve already allowed me.” I say, looking at her, expecting rage, disgust or perhaps pity. But I only got a vague sense of sadness in her eyes.

“Not at all, benefactor. I am only worried about you, this pain you carry. It is too heavy to be carried alone. Won’t you share it with me?” There it was, that subtle kindness, that confidence she displayed in the weirdest of moments.

“And bring you more pain than you already have?”

-Minadora is family to me, She’s my daughter in law and Huan’s other mother after all.-

‘Yes, perfect idea. Go tell her that I could have helped her mother but was too much of a weakling to do any-!’ My face hurts, pain radiating from my cheeks as I realise that Lu huan just slapped me.

“Sorry about that benefactor, but I had a feeling you’ve been doing something you shouldn’t. If I am offering my help, it means I will take full responsibility for myself. Please, help me help you.”

I breathe in, my throat sore, and exhale through my nose. I do so for a while, trying to clear my head a bit as she helps me sit up. I take a good look at her again.

She is supposedly Minadora’s daughter. How does that man know my teacher? I don’t know. Yet, the more I look at her, the more I recognise some of my mentor's physical traits.

“Don’t move, I need to see something.” I cusp her chin in my palms, using all the sadness I feel at the moment to fuel a simple healing spell. I can see a large swath of Dense blue ink going up my arms and into her head, her eyes still locked with mine. The amount of trust she had in me scared me. But I keep going, pushing the idea of healing her face at the forefront of my mind, as her badly healed nose starts to glow and shift back, her cheekbones doing much the same. Cutting the spell, i feel the rebound, it is massive and i don’t have a choice but to embrace it.

I feel the reaction of the surrounding ink climbing back through the connection, the surge of power and energy in my body starts hurting me. Like a balloon overfilled, my body swells and adapts, my flesh warping, Eyes appearing across my now graying skin. Shifts in my corporeal forms echoes even in my soul where I somewhat manage to put a stop to it. But It is already too late for me flesh and blood. The new sense rushes to my brain, the room appearing from multiple angles as I see from my new eyes, each of them tearing up with tears, blood and black ichor.

Lu Huan is visibly gagging at my changes, yet she doesn’t budge. Her head is still upon my palms. A slight shiver goes down her spines as her eyes move across my body, from one eyeball to the next. From one forceful adaptation to the other.

Yes, I can see now. With her face fully healed, I recognise Minadora through Huan’s visage.

“What are you doing to yourself?” Her voice is strained, choking with pain and sadness.

“I needed to know, to see if it was true. And.” I use Biomancy, digging into her body's smallest division with all the fear inhabiting my heart and mind. There, I see the truth, a tale written in flesh and blood. One I recognise half of, and know all too well. The one of the Star crossing Witch herself, Minadora Mirza, my mentor.

I bite my lips, trembling as I pull back, letting this rebound hit me as well. I can see the eyes across my body turning bloody red as my head and lower back itches badly. Soon after, the darkness of the room is no more as a malevolent red glow devours it.

“And now I know the truth. I, I should be the one being in your services. What did you say? When we met a few days ago? That you owe me a life debt for having saved you? Then I ask you, please let it go, it has been repaid before it even started. No, in fact: I owe you one." I bow my head to her like she had done back then.

"Why?" was the simple answer I got. My heart was squirming as I was too afraid and stressed to say the words.

"Y-your mother already saved me. From a fate worse than death."

"My mother is long dead. Plea-"

"Your other mother, Sir Gui already told me. That, Minadora, my magic mentor and friend, was his daughter in law. Your other mother."