Vol. IV Ch. 13 - New Guns
Chapter Thirteen
New Guns
Ixy broadcast Jenna’s arrival on the loud speakers at the Rainmaker Palace. Scion and his guards had a few seconds to prepare themselves as Ixy reminded them that they were not allowed within six feet of Jenna as the punishment for getting too close to her included (though not limited to) missing fingers, shaved off shoulders, missing feet, and noses. Jenna heard the announcement while she waited on the porch. Eventually, she was welcomed by a security guard who had hastily thrown a black T-shirt over his head to prepare for her arrival.
Jenna refrained from saying anything snarky to the security guard about how he must look shabby with his shirt off if he wasn’t willing to strut around without it, but then she had seen Sardius with his shirt off within the first five minutes of seeing him for the first time.
Once inside, she saw that Scion had gutted his palace more extensively than either Celestina or Excelyn had. For a moment, she thought about chastising him, but the dude had kept his crown on when the Hipposyphis suction-cupped his head, so she kept her mouth shut. He had already met all the necessary requirements. There was a boxing ring over his undersea entrance in his front hall and Scion was leaning over the ropes to greet Jenna.
“Madam Diplomat! Welcome!” he called happily.
There were sweaty towels everywhere. One of the security guards had a black eye. Another one had been interrupted in the middle of taping his wrist and even though he tried to stand at attention, the tape was falling awkwardly between his legs. The other guard scoured the room looking for a folding chair to offer Jenna. Scion was clearly having a party she did not understand.
It wasn’t that she blamed him. Currently, there was no diplomatic work to be done. Once again, they had failed to get eight diplomats to achieve quorum. He couldn’t leave. According to the arrangements he’d made with Jenna, he was stuck on Octavia Prime. At least, he was making the most of it.
Jenna greeted Scion with a pleasant wave in lieu of a handshake and said, “I like what you’ve done with the place.”
“This was Excelyn’s idea,” he said with a broad smile. “She told me that I should do what I love most while we wait for you to achieve quorum. She’s the one who got me a contractor to fit the place with the boxing ring. Octavians, of course. That’s why it’s over the undersea entrance. Easiest access for them.”
“Huh,” Jenna said, acknowledging her surprise. “Excelyn did?”
“I was stunned when she said no one would mind,” he taunted. “You don’t mind, do you, Jenna?”
Jenna would not have voiced her hesitation for all the world. “Certainly not,” she said with a clip of her tongue. “I’m going to marry a boxer who could whip each one of you in a line with no breaks.”
One by one, each of Scion’s bodyguards perked up.
Scion swung from the ropes. “Ryatt, I mean Sardius, is back. And you’re going to marry him? That’s news. I mean, I knew he was back, but I didn’t know you were going to marry him. Good for you, Jenna. I had heard that he was back to being your chief of security and that he was sending Bonemen in to fill all the remaining slots in everyone’s security detail. Would it be acceptable to let them train with us?”
Jenna swung her hair over her shoulder. “I couldn’t really answer that question. Sardius is head of security. You’d have to talk to him.”
“Would he train with us?” one of the guards asked, leaning closer on his chair to hear Jenna’s response.
Jenna opened her mouth to answer, but Sardius himself was at the door. “I would not,” he said simply as he stepped forward.
Scion and all the guards had a moment where they were both delighted, and a little like they were going to wet their pants. Tales of Sardius Veritacalus had apparently circulated.
Sardius walked in. He was wearing his preferred uniform and he slapped his empty gloves against his hands. “I’m here for a photoshoot,” he said snarkily, as he stood a safe distance from Jenna.
She snorted a laugh. “Liar. You’re here because you were informed that Rold is arriving tomorrow and you want to give this palace a proper look-over before he gets here. If we happen to get the photoshoot done as well, it’s two birds with one stone.”
“I need to train these guards,” Sardius said, giving Jenna a flirty smile.
“If you’re going to train us…” one of them piped up.
“Train you in tech, not in the boxing ring,” Sardius said, interrupting him.
“But if we catch on fast and we have extra time, maybe you could show us a thing or two?” the guard continued.
“There will not be any extra time,” Sardius said sternly. “I have unlimited ‘other’ things to do. But since you’re so keen on the subject, I may as well make it all too clear. I fight when I want money and when I want someone dead. When you fight for money, you sign all kinds of scary legal documents declaring that you understand that things could go terribly wrong and that the other guy could kill you. That way, if I do kill him, I refuse to feel bad about it. He was a grown man who could make his own decisions. He chose it. And if I want someone dead, they’ll be dead. All the people I’ve ever wanted dead are dead. What you guys are doing in the ring is fine. It’s athletic and it keeps you in shape. Wonderful. But it’s not what I was trained to do.”
“If I may ask,” Scion said, less cowed than his guards. “Who trained you?”
“I trained myself. No one can train you to kill someone with your bare hands. Where could you possibly go for that training? That’s something you learn yourself when everything else has failed and you’ll die otherwise.” He had been speaking with his back to Jenna, but he turned to look at her. The look on his face read, ‘Is this the world of mine you want to know?’
Scion spoke up. “What about that time I saw you fighting Crimp?”
“That was for your amusement, and I did not fight her with any degree of seriousness. I just let her throw punches at me while I waited for you to come out,” Sardius said plainly. “I have taught children to box before, but that was to make a few bucks between prize fighting. What I did with Crimp was more like that. It was nothing.”
“Wait a second,” Scion said suddenly. “Did someone say that my father was on his way here?”
Sardius nodded. “He’ll be here tomorrow.”
“Has he got Harlee with him?”
“I think so,” Jenna said, getting up. “I assume you need time to prepare to see her.”
Scion looked like he didn’t know where to run or hide. His hand went to his goatee as he clearly wondered if he ought to shave it off.
“Do you need me to send you a maid?” Jenna asked.
“Obviously,” he said, hopping out of the ring and gulping water from a tanker.
“Shower and get changed,” Sardius instructed the bodyguards.
“You could have fought them,” Jenna said as she watched the dejected security personnel depart out the doors at the far end of the hall. “It’s not like they would have left a mark on your face before our pictures were taken.”
Sardius gave her a funny look. “There’s no need to spoil Scion’s security detail right before they have their first assignment. Besides, I don’t need to box them as a show of power. While I’m down here, I have scads of other bodyguards to train. I brought down two for your palace that are waiting to meet you. They can fight them if they’re bored. I mean… they’ll lose… obviously.”
“You’re so certain your Bonemen will win against us fleshy Adamis?” Jenna taunted.
“I sent you the best bodyguards I have, so yes. They’d kill them… figuratively.” He led her to the window, where he parted the curtain and showed her two men standing on the back deck of her floating palace. “I brought you Nevin and Alkaline. They’re like me, except less hot, made with fewer metal parts, less famous, with fewer romantic aspirations.”
“Yeah?” Jenna commented noncommittally. “That’s good of you. I have enough people who are trying to pair up with me right now, but I guess that will always be the case when everyone here can marry eight people.”
“I can’t marry eight people,” Sardius pointed out. “I can only marry you.”
Jenna felt a little windblown by his declaration as she looked up into his eyes. He looked a thousand percent committed, like he had dropped everything he was into her.
“Make sure you keep that look on your face when we go for the pictures,” she said between the heartthrobs gushing in her chest. “We need to sell it.”