Object of Obsession

The rest of the school day went about as badly as I expected. Between Mae's sudden walk-out and knowing Luna was poised to learn my secret, I couldn't focus on anything else. On my way home I felt more eyes on me, even though I knew it was all in my head.

Dad wasn't home yet, which was normal. I headed to the kitchen, preheating the oven and chopping up some vegetables to make his job of preparing dinner a bit easier. It wasn't much, but I really appreciated all he did for me and wanted to help out wherever I could.

I went up to my room and flopped on the bed. Pulling out my phone, I pressed my top contact's number and put it to my ear.

"This is Mae Day. I'm not answering so leave a message. Or better yet, don't. BEEP!"

Ugh.

"Hi Mae, it's Norma. Call me if you want to talk..."

Not sure what else to say, I let the message end. I decided to head to my computer and power it on, spacing out as it booted up. As soon as I was in, my muscle memory clicked on the desktop shortcut for Raid Fantasy, an MMO I ended up playing way more than I had ever expected to.

As I waited in the login queue, I admired my character Avera's current gear. My guildmates and I had recently finished the first tier of the newest raid series, and the dev team really went all out on the glamour budget this expansion.

I played a Bedlam Cultist, a tank that turned wounds into bloody tendrils and debuffed enemy stats with haunting whispers. My class specific gear forwent the traditional armor of other tanks and was draped in black and red magic dripping with blood. It was pretty awesome.

Aether: Avera!
Aether: You're on!
Aether: Yay!

Before my character even loaded into the zone, Aether was bombarding me with messages. She was my longest online friend and the reason I'd even joined this guild in the first place.

We'd known each other as kids, playing old console games together all the time, but around middle school she announced in tears that she and her parents were going to be moving. We'd exchanged e-mail addresses, then phone numbers, and now here we were, gaming together again.

Avera: Aww, did you miss me?
Aether: W-what? No! We, uh...
Aether: We just really needed a tank for the raid tonight!

I grinned at her usual antics. I was feeling better already.

Avera: Well, I'm glad to see you. I had a pretty rough day...
Aether: VC.

At her suggestion we both entered voice chat, and I told her more or less what had happened with Luna and Mae, leaving out some of the more sensitive details.

"...and then she just walked out of class. That's not anything new with her, but on this occasion it definitely had something to do with me. I swear, I have no idea what she's thinking half the time!"

"Damn, IRL girls be crazy. You should just forget about them and play more RF with me!"

I laughed.

"I've already put waaaaaaay more time into this game than I should have! It's a wonder I haven't failed out of school already. Speaking of, you're online even more than I am, how do you manage it?"

"Oh, I wrote a program that reads scanned sheets, converts them into fillable pdfs, reads out the questions and writes answers in the fields using voice commands. It's not perfect because I can't use it during raids, obviously, but it's good enough for now."

I just stared at my screen, trying to process her words.

"Are you like... a genius or something?"

"Huh? Don't go making a big deal out of it, alright? It's nothing special. A-actually, I need a beta tester, so maybe I can send you a copy and you can let me know how it works for you? We can do homework while grinding out some crafting or whatever. Uhhh, you'd need a scanner, though..."

"Sure Aether, that sounds fun! Don't worry, I've got one."

"Sick, I'll send you a copy of it by tomorrow. It'll be great to see you online more! O-oh, and make sure to write a report or whatever about the program, okay?"

"Yeah, I can do that."

"Thanks. By the way, we're running that really hard raid tonight, the one the guild was supposed to clear yesterday. Our tank was hot garbage, I don't know how he made it this far, but we could really use your help. I know you don't normally stay up late on school nights, but..."

The offer was extremely tempting. I tried my best to maintain a decent sleep schedule, and ignoring the nightmares, I was usually pretty successful. As it stood, I already felt mentally exhausted.

"I don't know..."

"Come on Avera, you're literally the best Bedlam Cultist in the guild. The whole freakin' server, even! This one needs some serious enmity management, I don't know what the devs were thinking. I- uh. We really need you. So... what do you say?"

The truth was it felt good to be needed, even if it was for something as trivial as a game. Plus, I could really blow off some steam. Focusing on the unforgiving bullet hell of the newest raid might be exactly what my mind needed right now.

"Alright, I'll do it! Just let me have supper first, I'll definitely be back within an hour or so."

"Yes, that's my girl! Don't worry, you know my heals are legit. I won't let you die, so just focus on that precision tank swapping you're famous for and pray the other one can keep up!"

"Geez Aether, quit building me up so much. I'll be back on soon, so try not to miss me too much, okay?"

With that I went back downstairs. Dad had been home for a while by now, and I set the table while he pulled the chicken out of the oven.

"How was your day, dad?" I asked him. I didn't really want to answer this question myself, so I thought I'd beat him to it.

"Oh, same as always, except..."

He stopped himself, a slight blush on his cheeks. That had me curious.

"What?"

"Well, Faye from the sales department stopped by for a bit. We were working on that big project together, you remember? Only that deal's been sealed for a while now, so..."

"So why is she still coming to see you?" I finished his question.

"Exactly! I don't get it! I'm running out of dad jokes, and most women start running after the first one! What am I going to do?"

This was a bit of a misleading question. Even though he was goofy, dad was pretty much a lady's man. He was romantic, and he could go from funny to serious as the situation required. It wasn't an issue of not knowing what to do with her. It was whether he should do anything at all.

Mom wasn't around, but not because she had died or anything. She cheated, and it broke him.

Those years were rough. Her new man didn't want someone else's kid around and she just went along with it, leaving dad to look after me alone during his most difficult time.

Watching him try his best to be there for me when no one was there for him... I grew to respect the hell out of my old man.

And truth be told, after witnessing the ugliness of adultery secondhand, the whole ordeal may have had a hand in developing my yandere obsession. Compared to that, the idea that someone could love you too much seemed ridiculous.

I encouraged dad to go for it. He deserved to be happy, and he would never be able to trust again if he didn't put himself out there. He had a faraway look in his eyes as I told him this.

"You're growing up so fast. I'm really proud of you, Norma."

"Thanks, dad."

After dinner, I logged back into Raid Fantasy and played well into the night. I felt a little rusty, but somehow my performance was still on-point and we managed to clear the content after only a few wipes. With a little time to spare the group convinced me to try the next one, and we cleared it on the third try. As everyone was celebrating, I received a private message.

Aether: Damn, that was sexy.

I blushed at the compliment. I had to get to bed, but I wanted her to know I appreciated her inviting me.

Avera: You weren't so bad yourself. I need to get going now, but thanks for dragging me along. This was exactly what I needed.

Aether: Yeah, I'm good for you. Obv. Sweet dreams.

I dropped into my bed with a smile on my face and fell asleep instantly, oblivious to all the missed calls and texts that had piled up over the evening...

---

Why do I care?

Mae paced back and forth through her dimly lit room, unconsciously checking her phone every few seconds.

What does it matter to me if my best friend checks some chick out? It's a free country. Metaphorically speaking.

Mae had returned Norma's call. Sent pics of her newest projects. Texted to make sure she was okay. Left totally not pathetic voicemails.

Why do I want her attention so badly? Why didn't I pay attention when she wanted mine?

She stopped pacing and sat on her floor, staring blankly forward.

Because I thought she was mine. And I didn't think to put in any effort to keep it that way.

She ruminated on those words.

Mine...? Do I even swing that way? Since when have I started thinking like this?

Mae checked her phone again, then fell onto her back in frustration, letting out an exasperated sigh. Soul searching and contemplative introspection weren't her thing, but it looked like she was long overdue.

She thought long and hard about Norma. Honestly, she was pretty basic. But the one thing you could say about her was that, through good and through bad, she showed up, and that actually meant a lot more than you might expect. Probably why this sudden silent treatment was hitting so hard.

A taste of my own medicine. I've... actually been pretty shitty to her, haven't I? But can I change?

As Mae thought more and more about her best friend, she found her fingertip subconsciously caressing her pierced lips.

Damn it. Guess I'll have to try.