Number One Under Heaven

In the middle of nowhere, an Island was surrounded by nothing but water.

The air cracked, and a purple dot appeared in the midst of the crack.

The purple dot started to swirl at a fast pace, and the next second it grew bigger and bigger.

After a minute, turning into a three-meter circle, it stopped.

A moment later, a young man walked out from it followed by a middle-aged man.

They both looked around with curiosity.

“So this is the Mortal Realm….” Lao Bai was fascinated.

But not even a second later, he frowned.

“The fuck? The Spirit Power here is trash! What’s up with this shitty Spirit Power?! How is anyone suppose to Cultivate in this environment?”

“… Well, it is called ‘Mortal’s Realm’ for a reason…” He tried to save some face for the Mortal Realm.

“But Young Master, although the quantity of Spirit Power here is abnormally large, the quality sucks ass!”

“If I Cultivate here, I might get sick…” But Lao Bai at the opposite in mind.

“…” Tian Yi was dumbfounded.

He just got here, and he’s already trash talking the entire Mortal Realm!

“I guess you’ll just have not to Cultivate…” He joked.

“… Young Master, even one million years of Cultivation here won’t help me breakthrough…” He said bitterly.

“…”

“Well, leaving that aside. Let’s talk about what we’ll do from now on. Any suggestions?” He changed the topic.

“Eh? Young Master, you mean you came down here with no plans?”

It was now Lao Bai’s turn to be dumbfounded. What the hell? Did you come down here without any plans?!

“Maybe… No, I have a plan!” He said calmly.

“We’re going to try all of Mortal Realm’s cuisine?” He said with a question mark at the end.

“…”

“Fuck! You came all the way down here just to eat Mortal’s food?! What are you, tired of eating dragon’s meat?!” He couldn’t help but curse in his mind.

“Oh right. I almost forgot.”

Tian Yi looked at Lao Bai seriously.

Lao Bai turned serious after seeing his face.

“Lao Bai, my real name is, Tian Yi!”

Lao Bai’s eyes lit up and kowtowed.

”This servant greets Young Master Yi!” He finally got to know his Young Master’s real name.

Tian Yi nodded and said, “Good, stand!”

“Yes, Young Master Yi!” He stood up.

Tian Yi silently looked at Lao Bai, and his eyebrows twitched.

“Say… Lao Bai, how old are you?” He asked this question out of nowhere.

Lao Bai was a bit dazed at that sudden question. “Uhh, I should be around 1,300,000 years old… Why do you ask Young Master?”

“Well… It’s just that all the servants I used to have are young males for some reason… And I thought that it would be a nice change of pace to have someone old like a grandfather.” He felt a bit embarrassed saying that.

Little did he know that the reason his father never allowed him to have a female servant was that they couldn’t work properly with a face like his around!

“Eh? So you’re saying you want me to change to an old man?” He asked.

“Oh, you don’t have to if you don’t want to.” He said calmly, but his eyes had a tiny bit of anticipation.

Ever since he was born, he has barely been around any old people. Even his grandparents were young…

Because everybody around him was Immortals, they all looked young, and none was willing to look like a bag of old bones, except for some special people.

“Well… I don’t really mind, after all, I am an old man. I just wanted to look young for a bit.” He saw his Young Master’s anticipation and giggled.

He was actually happy. This is the first time his Young Master had anticipated something from him.

“But Young Master, I don’t have an Appearance Changing Pill.”

Tian Yi’s eyes lit up and said, “Don’t worry! I have plenty of them!” and took out another Appearance Changing Pill.

“….”

“You have more of them?!?! How many did you ask that poor Pill Emperor to enhance?!” He felt wronged in place of that pitiful Pill Emperor.

He once again reluctantly accepted this Heavenly low ranked pill and ate it.

*Poof*

Lao Bai turned into an old man, but not old to the point of not being able to walk.

He had long white hair tied up neatly behind his back, a long white beard, and a friendly looking face. Even the aura around him makes people feel calm.

Tian Yi was extremely satisfied with his new look.

“So this is what it feels like to have a grandfather that actually looks like one!”

“Good! I like it! Good job Lao Bai!” He gave him a thumbs up.

Lao Bai smiled from happiness.

“It’s my honor, Young Master!”

* * * * *

“Now let’s figure out which way to go.”

Tian Yi went back to the main point.

“Well… What made Young Master want to come down here in the first place?”

“Hmm…”

Tian Yi started to think.

What was his reason for coming down again? He only remembers being bored to death from Cultivation and was reading a book…

“That’s right! I had a book!” He realized.

“A book?” Lao Bai was confused.

A book made this Young Master come down here? What kind of Holy book was this?

Tian Yi searched through his Storage Pouch.

After awhile, he pulled out an old book and showed it to Lao Bai.

“T-t-this…”

Lao Bai was instantly dumbfounded speechless and regretted asking him.

He read the book’s cover that says,

“Guide Book to surviving in Mortals Realm –

101+ Steps on how to survive in this living Hell!”

“Y-young Master… This is…” He didn’t even know what to say!

Tian Yi had a smile on his face and said, “I know, I know. You’re interested in what’s in this book. Correct? Here, let me read some of the contents for you. Be ready to be shocked!”

“….”

*Ahem*

He cleared his throat and began reading.

* * * * *

“First thing you must know about the Mortal Realm is that this place is fucking Hell in disguise!

You’re not safe no matter where you go, not even your mother’s bathroom!

If you’re not careful here, you might die without even knowing why!

Here’s an example of what happened to me.

I was walking down the street eating a meat bun when a fucking sword light flew by my face and cut not only my hair but also a few years of my life from fright!

Are you scared yet? No? Then listen to this.

One day, I was taking a shit in the toilet, right? You think you would be safe in the bathroom right?

But nooo, all of sudden the entire roof got blown to dust by Cultivators fighting outside!

I was just a meter away from turning into ash! But that did help me shit out instantly.

Want one more? Listen well… Even the strongest experts here die without a proper burial!”

You must be frightened by now. But fear not! With this father here, I’ll teach you how to survive this Hell!

Not convinced you’ll live just by reading this?

Look at me, writing this book at 106 years old.

I lived in this Hell for over 100 years!

If you follow the 101+ steps in this book, your chances of living over 100 are doubled!”

* * * * *

Tian Yi stopped and smiled.

“You heard it clearly right? Don’t this book just give you shivers from hearing it? This place is actually that dangerous! I would’ve never known if I didn’t pick this book up in the Forest of Heavenly Beasts.”

“Nowhere in this Mortal Realm is safe! Even experts die without a proper burial! Does that not sound exciting?” He laughed.

“………”

Lao Bao had his mouth so wide open; a whole fist can fit inside!

He was shocked all right! But for a different reason!

“What’s wrong Lao Bai? So scared you can’t even speak?”

“… Young Master, forgive me for asking you this but… How have you been living your life up till now?”

“My life? Hmm… All I’ve done is Cultivate with my old man’s direction and read books in my house.” He answered bluntly.

“So you’ve never stepped outside of that house?” Lao Bai was shocked.

“I have, once. But that didn’t last for long.” He sighed bitterly after remembering that experience.

He went outside for the first time with his parents only for a few hours before his father said to run back to the house.

He couldn’t even leave his room for a few months….

He also didn’t consider Forest of Heavenly Beasts outside because he treated it like his backyard.

“H-how old are you?”

“I’m only 18 this year.”

Lao Bai stared at his Young Master dumbfounded. This is definitely the biggest shock he has received so far!

He had always thought that his Young Master was an old monster faking his identity as a kid…

But he was actually just a kid! And a sheltered one at that!

He was so smart, yet he believed this shitty book and even came all the way down here because of it?!

So his Young Master was only book smart and had no experience?!

No wonder why his Young Master was such a law abiding citizen and waits in line!

It looks like his work had just increased by ten folds…

“Don’t worry Young Master; I’ll surely guide you into the right direction…” He meant it deep inside his heart.

“Really? Good! Which way do we go?!” He asked innocently.

“….”

Lao Bai cried in his heart.

* * * * *

Somewhere inside an unknown sect, elders gathered around a round table and looked a bit nervous.

*Bang* The door opens.

Everybody stood up and greeted, “Greetings, Sect Master!”

“Un, sit.” He nodded.

“So, I gathered all of you here today to talk about an important matter.”

“I’m sure most of you know this already but, I’ll still say it…”

“The Five Element Alliance has finally agreed on building the ‘Martial Holy Ground'”

“The Martial Holy Ground will be gathering all the Geniuses from all Five Continent and train them with the best resources.”

“Of course, it’s to prepare for the Calamity coming in the upcoming years..”

“Any questions?” He went quiet after that.

“Where will the Martial Holy Ground be built?” An elder asked.

“It will be built in the Holy Continent, where the best quality of Spirit Power gathers at.”

“How long will it take for it to be finished?” Another one asked.

“Approximately one year.”

“Then… What about the Calamity…?”

You can hear the fear in his voice.

“…. It is uncertain at this moment, but we guessed that it would come in 3 to 4 years!” He said with a heavy tone.

“3 to 4 years… So short…”

Everybody in the room felt their hearts being squished.

“How many can each Sect send and how are we going to choose?”

“Each Sect only gets to choose two. And we’ll pick whoever has the best Innate Talent. We also have to consider their age and current Cultivation. They also have to pass at least the 7th level in the God’s Pagoda.”

“So strict… Even our most talented Disciple Chan Jingyi and Qiu Heng can only reach the 6th level.”

“Of course we have to be strict, or do you want to sent in some decently genius disciple to help us deal with the Calamity when it comes?!”

Everybody turned silent.

“Anything else?”

No one opened their mouths.

“Good, then we’ll begin our Sect’s recruitment early this year and make it last longer. Starting one week from now and end it two weeks after it begins.”

“Go!”

“Yes, Sect Master!”

Everybody left the room to begin their busy work.

The Sect Master stayed in his seat and sighed.

“This Calamity… If we can’t stop it, it’ll wipe out all living beings in the Mortal Realm!”

“And after that… It’ll go to the next Realm until it’s stopped!”

“Is this God’s test or is it the Devil’s wish?”

“Haaaa, if only we can get help from the Upper Realms… But we have no ways to contact them…”

The Sect Master sat there depressed and felt hopeless.

Meanwhile, the news of the Martial Holy Ground being built was spread to every corner of the Mortal Realm.

Everyone but the old experts thought that the only reason was to train Geniuses and had no idea about this Calamity coming.