Chapter 8: Sinking into Depravity
My breath came in ragged gasps. No matter how hard I ran, I couldn't escape my impending death. I took a quick turn down the maze-like cavern lit by glowing crystals, only to enter a dead end.
There was nowhere left for me to run. I was trapped like a rat. The Crystalline Colossus stood between me and the only exit. My legs shook like a newborn fawn.
“No, stay back!”
I screamed at the monster, but it was useless. My tears were unable to move the Colossus. Death lumbered closer to me step by step and there was nothing I could do but wait for the end.
The monster raised up its crystalline fist. I fell on my bum. Terror drowned out my thoughts. My body grew weak and a wet sensation spilled down my thighs. The Colossus brought its fist down and death claimed me.
“Ahhhh!”
I jolted awake in shock. It took me several seconds to realize that I was not in the depths of the Crystalline Caverns. Instead, I was in the safety of my own dorm. It was all a dream.
“Dammit. When will these nightmares end?”
I cursed and set about cleaning up after myself. My bedsheets and soiled underwear went into the washer. I grabbed a fresh set of clothes and entered the bathroom. I carefully unwound the bandages that bound my chest. A content sigh escaped from my lips the moment my breasts regained their freedom.
My shower was quick and efficient. After drying myself off, I rebounded my chest with bandages and slipped on a white hoodie. For my lower half, I only wore a pair of white women's briefs. I examined my appearance after I was done changing.
The girl in the mirror had heavy bags under her eyes. Her skin was an unhealthy pasty white and her golden eyes no longer glowed with life. Even her short, ice blue hair had lost its luster from neglect.
This was me after a month in the Upper Realm. I hadn’t managed to go to the Academy even once.
I left the bathroom and laid down on the sofa. My small dorm room was quiet. Dad wasn't around to tell me to get off the sofa and do something productive. There was no sound of anyone cooking in the kitchen or cleaning up the place. All of the warm, comfortable noises that I associated with home were absent.
I was alone. This was the natural result of my choice. I had abandoned my friends and family to run away to the Upper Realm.
Fatigue clung to my body like a noisy lover. I wanted to sleep, but that would only result in another nightmare.
"Mom, Dad. I'm sorry I made you worry."
I found myself apologizing to my distant parents. I could only rely on Elizabeth to handle the aftermath of my sudden disappearance.
My heart ached from loneliness. I wanted to feel the warmth of my parents as they hugged me and told me that everything would be okay, but that was no longer possible. I hugged my knees to my chest, but it was a meager substitute.
I would do anything to feel like I wasn't alone. A sigh spilled from my lips as soon as the thought crossed my mind. I tried my best to avoid this dreadful routine, but my loneliness won out in the end. Each day, I slipped further and further into depravity. Today was no different.
I died to a Crystalline Colossus every night in my nightmares. Perhaps as a side effect of brushing against death, my instincts kicked into overdrive. My body grew hot and a feverish blush colored my white cheeks. I dove into my memories to escape from the lonely reality of my current situation.
My mind went back to that day I became a girl. I closed my eyes and remembered the feeling of my best friend’s rough hands on my chest. My benefactor's appearance overlapped with Leo’s appearance and suddenly I had a pair of hands rubbing my chest through my hoodie.
“Mmm…”
A delightful moan spilled from my mouth. I hadn’t felt anything in particular when Leo had touched my chest, but just imagining it was Cecilia was enough to make my heart do flip flops. Heat built up in my body, but it was not enough to satisfy me.
Today, I took things a step further. One hand slipped away from my breasts and ventured into uncharted territory. Unlike in the past, there was no fear or hesitation in my actions.
“Cecillia…”
I whispered breathlessly as I brought my hand, no, Cecilia’s hand to my most precious place. My fingers traced the outline of my changed body over my underwear.
This brand new sensation brought too much pleasure. I hit my limit in a much shorter time than usual. The loneliness and fear lurking in my heart disappeared while I basked in the warm afterglow of pleasure. Strength left my limbs and an sudden rush of sleepiness swept my body. I didn't fight it this time and sleep easily carried me away. This time, I did not have any nightmares.