No Dark Secrets In This Book

Episode 163

The two people seem different as if their natures themselves are different. Even the way they collapse and their attitude toward raw wounds are similar yet different. At the same time, the behaviors and emotions that seemed exactly like the Cassice Demillang that Ryuseong knew were also felt in the Cassice Demillang in front of his eyes.

In other words, “he” who currently occupies Cassice Demillang’s body was not someone who could be judged with the black-and-white logic of two camps: whether he is simply Cassice Demillang or not. At least Ryuseong believed so. 

Above all, the most decisive moment that made him give up questioning was when he learned how cruel the childhoods of both Cassice Demillang and Jeong Ian were.

“…Mom, dad.”

His scars had bitter parts that would be apologetic to dig into as a third party…

He decided to wait for the day when he would directly tell him.

Even so, Ryuseong did not assume that the two were completely different people. It may be an absurd premise, but Ryuseong believed in his own intuition that had allowed him to break through all the adversities that stood in his way. Whether it was a split personality, the difference between a past life and the present life, or a parallel world, Ryuseong was ready to accept everything. Since he had already regressed, it wasn’t that surprising if other settings were added.

In other words, Ryuseong had been crazy from the beginning. 

In a way, it might have been natural. The world was shattered and he alone survived and turned back time.

But it was strange that he was sane.

“I was already risking the fate of the world, so why can’t I risk my life? For him, I can live or die. I can save or kill other people.”

[…Where did you throw away the precept of non-killing! You! Where are you throwing yourself away! You… Your beliefs! Are you trying to abandon yourself? You, you… You’re not someone who can do that! You…!]

“Why do I always have to be the same?”

These words couldn’t possibly come out in a sane state.

[What…?]

“Not killing people. I wanted to do that too. If possible, I wanted to live my whole life like that. I’ve already eaten too many corpses to survive. I’ve owed my life to people for too long. But now I realize. I survived by owing to people, but someone was prospering by eating Cassice Demillang. Then I have to pay it back.”

[….]

“I have to let them know that even those who look down on the world can be torn apart and are just humans.”

Of course, deep down, if the situation allowed, he did not lack the desire not to harm people.

If killing someone simply because one wants to becomes natural, it felt like he would forget the teachings of Hanra and become a monster again.

Because he didn’t want to kill people for the reason that it interfered with his work, the precept of non-killing was what he didn’t break even while being betrayed and suffering losses many times.

But when he was isolated with Cassice Demillang in the Black Wilderness…

At that time, Ryuseong decided to temporarily put down his identity as a practitioner of non-killing completely.

To be really honest, he did it because he was crazy.

‘If I don’t kill, Cassice Demillang will be trapped here.’

The Black Wilderness.

The place where Ryuseong was born and raised.

There, Ryuseong’s trauma was concentrated.

Ryuseong survived by owing to corpses. Young Ryuseong, born in the Black Wilderness, survived by eating corpses. 

After that, he decided not to kill people.

However, he didn’t avoid violence just because he didn’t want to kill people. He actively beat people to the point of near-death because it wasn’t murder.

But driving people into the monster colony was an active act of murder.

Nevertheless, Ryuseong did it. To escape the Black Wilderness with Cassice Demillang.

The dwelling of abandoned corpses and monsters.

The land of death where the black fog casts a shadow, whether the soil rots or not.

This place, which boasts more vicious energy than anywhere else, as befits the starting point of the black fog, was the origin of Ryuseong’s trauma, barely preventing its spread by pouring several layers of purification barriers.

He didn’t want to see Cassice Demillang standing on this land.

It seemed like he kept seeing the illusion of him getting his flesh torn and eaten by his fangs.

‘…But.’

But there was something Ryuseong had forgotten. Something he only realized after crossing the sky and returning to the cliff.

Even if Ryuseong didn’t bare his fangs, Cassice Demillang was still being eaten.

There was a flock of crows feeding on and prospering from him, not a corpse.

Demillang!

The damn noble family that separated Cassice Demillang, who was only a six-year-old boy, from his parents!

Sacrificing him, drinking him, squeezing him dry to survive!

Ah, damn it, the pre-regression Ryuseong didn’t even know that such a thing had happened to Cassice Demillang.

So Ryuseong was also a bystander.

But now, he had no intention of being one.

‘No matter what happens, you…’

Perhaps the current emotions became more intense because the pre-regression Ryuseong was an ignorant bystander.

At that time, the pre-regression Ryuseong was an adversary who actively stimulated, fought, and competed with the already precarious Cassice Demillang, so it might be a deviant emotion due to such an intense reaction.

‘I don’t want to let you break anymore. I’m fine with breaking myself, but I want you to be okay.’

Ryuseong felt that some distortion was fine if it was for Cassice Demillang’s well-being. Things like cracks forming in his belief that was like a defense mechanism protecting himself. Even breaking himself. He felt it was okay. More precisely, he thought that’s what he had to do.

He felt like what’s the point of being not okay now?

He had been thinking like that until just now.

But… when the ‘present’ Cassice Demillang moved his lips endlessly, everything stopped.

Thoughts, time, actions.

…Even his gaze.

“Even without mixing bodies, an embrace is warm.”

“…”

“I only realized this comfort now…”

Looking at Cassice Demillang, who sincerely became comfortable in his arms and fell into a deep sleep…

He really felt like nothing else mattered.

Because he doesn’t need any damn unique titles like the world’s guardian…

He just wanted to protect this one person.

***

I, who fell asleep in Ryuseong’s arms, regained consciousness in a dream at some point. Ugh. Sleepy. Ryuseong’s arm was really nice to use as a pillow. It’s a bit hot to be called a body pillow, but I don’t know why I only realized this taste now.

Anyway, as I slowly regained consciousness while recalling Ryuseong’s warmth, a scene that was presumed to be from the “original work” unfolded before my eyes.

‘Oh. Starting from the academy’s past recollection?’

In the novel, ‘Cassice Demillang’ was the protagonist’s rival.

Cassice Demillang’s first impression was terrible to me, who was already building internal intimacy with the protagonist. Cassice Demillang boasted a fantastic personality from his first appearance and set up a confrontation with Ryuseong. As a reader, I thought that appearance was a typical young master of a typical villainous family that was so common. I thought he would be taught a lesson by the protagonist and make a pathetic exit. A genre reader who had gone through everything from the rental book era to the web novel era had a keen eye. So although he was annoying, he was definitely not a character to watch for long. I expected to just focus on how pathetically his life would end and chew popcorn.

Unexpectedly, the character named Cassice Demillang did not exit easily. Despite retreating when there was a hint of redemption and running away when there was a hint of being won over, he avoided the ending of being taught a lesson surprisingly well.

When his lackeys crossed the line and caused trouble, he would punish or behead them to death before Ryuseong even mentioned it. He always fought to the death over academy grades, but when they reunited after several years in an urgent situation, he readily entrusted his back without hesitation.

The moment they judged that if they didn’t cooperate, neither of them would survive, they trampled on all their previous ill feelings and began to synchronize their breathing.

[…The insight has ended, and the abacus is broken. Under the top priority of survival, there are no hands that shouldn’t be held. They mechanically opened their mouths.

“For now,”

“Let’s have a truce.”

“Temporarily.”

Their words were intense, no matter who was responding.

“Don’t you know who I am?”

But after a moment, Ryuseong thinks. Can he ever find a partner who works better together than this?

If all the support he had received so far were ready-made clothes, Cassice Demillang supported his every attack, defense, footwork, and grip like a designer making a one-of-a-kind tailored suit. Is it because he can feel what Ryuseong is thinking? The flow of magic that moves one step ahead as if looking down into his mind can be felt. If he looks at the end of it, Cassice Demillang will be there. A damn personality disorder. An obsessive-compulsive, irritable idiot who looks down on humans, but at least…

“Not bad.”

“If you have time to be distracted, increase your output. On the left, a hydra has appeared. I’ll give you 12 seconds.”

A gaze that naturally assumes Ryuseong can take down the hydra within 12 seconds.

A smile in those eyes that seems to mock him as an idiot if he can’t do it.

He casually passes on absolute trust that doesn’t even send allies as if it’s natural, and executes the next strategy without even a 0.1-second hesitation. He plunges into a raid alone where he would die if Ryuseong doesn’t join within 12 seconds, and leaves a word.

“Cut the neck and follow.”

…At least he wasn’t a terrible guy to have as an ally. Unless he was a terribly excellent force. Of course, if you add in ‘that’ terrible personality, I don’t know what to say…

Ryuseong suddenly felt like laughing. He discovered that his tension had loosened at some point. Perhaps because he had escaped from the obsession that he had to get out alone.

‘Does this sense of stability come when you become on the same side?’

He was a monster anew. He.

Even Cassice Demillang, who had never caught up to Ryuseong, was a monster.

So Ryuseong begins to think.

‘How can someone like Cassice Demillang be born twice in this world?’

And at the same time, what kind of terrible monster is ‘Ryuseong’ who can easily suppress even him?]

…That’s right. The Ryuseong in the middle of the original work unfolding in the dream was at the stage of finding his identity.

Questioning whether his self, who was born alone in the Black Wilderness and grew up eating corpses alone…

Was really a proper human being.

‘Come to think of it, I didn’t get to read the last volume, so I don’t even know how the conclusion of this intense inner conflict turned out?!’

It’s such a waste, really!