NOVEL WEB Ch. 21: Making The Sales Pitch
That dress of hers felt like it was on fire. She checked to make sure that it didn’t have some weird enchantment that actually set it on fire. She noted that so far, roast Fiona was not on the menu. But the glinting gold embroidery did seem a little brighter. Or, was that just the lighting?
All she did know was that she needed to remain cool, not dump on King Barry in the public spotlight, and more importantly, celebrate with her friends. She was far from the only person who had helped land a walloping on Doug. She scurried over to Jake, and tried to remember a dozen different things in a short distance. Was her hair frizzy? Did she have anything stuck between her teeth? There wasn’t any time to worry about those, and anyone who might have issues with her, wouldn’t bother wasting their time on her.
“A pleasure, Jacob, thank you.” He offered the small arcane amplifier, before she tapped it gently–and just like a regular microphone, started getting feedback from one of the amplifying crystals nearby. The noise woke up the few people snoozing at the party, and got everyone else’s attention. She flashed her gaze across the room. She took a deep breath, and got to work–business would have to wait for a spell. This celebration was about everyone who had risked their lives to deal with a kingdom-level threat, and stepped up to the plate.
“Fellow guildmates, esteemed guests of our illustrious hall, welcome and thank you for gracing us with your presence tonight! Now, I wasn’t exactly planning a speech. I think Jake is usually trying to steal away the amplifier when I’m on stage,” she added with an unsubtle wink to him. A subtle glance and slight grimace when he looked to where the band would normally be playing, was not lost on her. “So, for those of you who don’t know me–”
“We all know you, Fiona, we love you!” a younger adventurer in a flirty blue dress called out from a far-off table. She gave the enthusiast a gentle hand wave, and a flash of a smile.
“Right, I forgot, you beat up a dragon once, and everyone starts talking about you. Pro tip, unless you're me, don't try to bully a dragon! It's guaranteed to end badly for you, and with a well fed dragon. And only Douglas was acting out, I'm sure the rest of the dragons are cool!” She gave up any hope of doing this the easy way, and getting away with just a few lines. People were leaning in attentively. She had to fulfill the part, now.
Think Fiona, think! What should you talk about? And not about Barry this time. This should be the one time you talk about yourself, and everyone who graced these halls, putting it all on the line for Fiefdala! She examined the room and looked for the people she needed to appeal to. “So, I’ll keep this speech short. I came into town about six months ago, with not a single copper in my pocket. Actually there were a lack of pockets. Or pants attached to pockets," she added with a nervous laugh, and there was a wave of catcalls and hearty laughs. Not many knew about that one, but there were a few who did.
"Now, I did want to highlight my first mentor, Jacob Fervier. Jacob here helped teach me some tricks of the trade. I studied, I trained, I excelled at what I had always wanted to do, since I was a little girl: adventuring, and protecting lives.”
It was a truth, even from her childhood on a far away world. Dreaming of going on adventures, battling great evils, standing triumphant. The reality was, it was never made out to be so easy. Her words got some of the newer recruit's attention, for the few that weren’t already focused on her. “It's hard work. The danger is always there, and they can’t prepare you for everything. I certainly had to get my fair shares of saves, starting out, and I had to learn fast. But I did it, because it was a passion, and they can teach you to adapt, and improvise. It’s how I started at the bottom, as a fair elf maiden–as some have called me,” she adds with a leering grin at a burly man sitting silently in the back. He grunted, and shook his head.
“Now, people ask me, ‘But Fiona, how did you get so good?’ Truth is, it’s just training, and working with your fellow adventurers. When you're out in the field--your teammates are your family. And you protect your family like nothing else," she stated adamantly. "I have good friends who helped me beat the dragon lord, and I didn’t solo it. Well, I mean I beat up the dragon and left him humiliated, but I didn’t take on a whole army by myself,” she added as a murmur of laughs emanated through the room. “I’d like to thank them personally. Nick, Cita, you guys rock, the unsung heroes over there!” Fiona points out, and Nick did that bird-like swivel as if he’d been startled, and Cita gushed and wrapped her arm around his shoulder, and was waving to the adoration of the room.
“I'd also like to call out my old mentor, Jake, for taking the time out of his very busy schedule. He’s done an awesome job of polishing the place to a fine level of finesse for tonight’s events. Seriously, Jake, the snacks are awesome!” she exclaimed in a burst of excitement. “Yeah, I had a reputation when I was in the barracks. Fiona, the snack thief. I could smell it, when they had dumplings in the cafeteria. Jake threatened to have my class rebranded to rogue, on account of said treats mysteriously going missing. I can tell you, it wasn’t me!”
“The pastries have never been so well guarded,” Jake muttered, even as he cracked a smile. Fiona strolled around, looking to command this room. She pondered how her newfound abilities could aid her. Was there a way to influence this room positively?
The tinging on her wrist seemed to emanate along her spine, too. It was like making a sales pitch. You couldn’t sell something that people didn’t want. But it was easy to make a pitch for something they wanted or needed. And this city, while it had come far, still had many promises unfulfilled.
"I think the city needs to recognize the risks the guild takes, in lieu of a fully outfitted military. We explore, we recover, we defend and protect the citizens of Fiefdala on a variety of fronts, every single day. People shouldn't lose sight of that--for those who can let their kids roam outside the city limits without worrying about monsters and bandits. I certainly will never forget the important jobs we do, even if I do move on from the adventuring life."
She’d just go with the flow, she figured. “Now, I’ll keep this short. I have a special announcement. I have a new shop opening up, thanks to the generous donation of one giant, mean, overgrown kobold named Doug, the not-so-red,” she added with an infectious smile. “I want you guys all there! Now, to show the generosity I have for my fellow teammates–minus the incident of the snacks, which totally had nothing to do with me–I have a proposal. Every purchase on the first day of the grand opening, I’m gonna donate ten percent of the proceeds to the Adventurer’s Guild!"
There were cheers, a few gasps, and a few looked on like they had no idea how to react. Only Greg was sitting there, with a wide-eyed stare, and Bonnie was beaming. “Yep, that’s right, I’m going into business, and I want to ensure the adventurers and curios of Fiefdala have what they need, to help keep this shining establishment dragon-free! Or slime-free. My friend Darla seemed very sad about the lack of slime monsters in the public bath, no idea why. Must be a cultural difference thing,” she shrugged, before wagging a hand.
She continued, even as the laughs subsided. “Anyway, not important! We’re opening up in a few days, so bring your friends, bring your families! Bring rich guys, too! No, I'm mostly joking, but seriously, bring an appetite for cool stuff, and we’ll make it a grand old event!” she called out proudly, and twirled around on the floor to read the reaction of the room. There was nothing but a wall of roars and excitement in here, and she smiled proudly at that. She might be taking a big hit on opening day, but in her head, she figured she could come out even further ahead, with a little bit of goodwill going a long way. She wanted Barry to know the score of the game, even if she was the only one he could direct his ire at.
That flutter of energy on her wrist also seemed to be a silent approval, as well. Were the wings...flapping? She must have imagined it.
“Well spoken Fi,” Jake announced, before she gently handed him the amplifier. “Alright folks, there you have it! The lovely Miss Swiftheart, swiftly knocking us off our feet with her charm!” he called out, to a few boos of everyone wanting Fiona back on the stage. “We’ll have additional refreshments coming out soon! Also, our little gala will have a bit of music. Liebert, that’s your cue!" he announced with a pointed claw, and the gathering of musicians started playing a cheery tune.
But Fiona was already skipping ahead, back to the table where Greg was trying to to bury his head into a table, and doing his mouse warding spell. Fiona doubted mice would dare to take up residence in the guild hall. “Aw Greg, why so down?” she asked with a small tsk sound.
“You just gave up ten percent. On opening day. Our biggest day," he groaned. “Do you like losing money, Miss Swiftheart?”
“Greg, have some faith,” Bonnie said while trying to coax him back up above table level. “This is Fiona we’re talking about! She knows what she’s doing. Giving back to the guild is actually a very smart move. You can’t put a price on goodwill.”
“Not that I don’t understand the angle, but as a businesswoman, you understand it’s risky,” he groaned. “This is how we end up net negative. Profanely net negative. Do you have any idea what this’ll cost?”
“Greg, don’t be a square peg in a round hole,” Fiona joked with a reassuring pat. “It’ll be fine! I got a good feeling about this one!”
“Good feelings do not equate to a successful business,” he muttered, and brought his head up from the table. He adjusted his glasses and tie, and peered at her intensely. “Fiona, you can’t do things like this, where I’m in pure reactionary mode. I just can't work like that.”
“Greg, it’ll be fine. Remember, we aren’t paying for inventory yet, we’re just selling stuff that we didn’t have to buy. Well, yet. That’s longer term,” she added. “Eat some food, you look pale. I can’t have you wasting away into a little skeleton! You would make a terrible skeleton, by the way, and they play cards terribly.”
Her sullen friend looked up, and tried not to laugh. But a small chuckle emerged. “I would very much like to not be a skeleton, either. Alright, it’s your show, Fiona. but do warn me when you plan on trying reckless, crazy, or counterintuitive things, alright? I can’t really advise if you just…you know, do things before you tell me.”
“Fair enough. Now lean back, and enjoy the festivities, while I work with the rest of the crowd.” She tossed back another dumpling, and swore she heard the distant lamentation of Felix at the loss of the culinary treasure.
It did taste better when hastily separated from its intended recipient. She doubted the Contract would have let her get away with ‘Snack Thief’ if she’d asked for it. Or, would it have? It was probably better not to test this one. Her drama had gotten her one unique class, and trying for two might be pushing beyond even her level of luck. Wait. maybe I could get a snack thief class, as well? Nah, I don't need pilfering skills that badly.
But, maybe ‘snack thief’ had been her intended Destined Class, in another life–
Her ears perked up, and she heard the commotion coming, barnstorming in, and that slow clap from up on the second floor. Her gaze went up, and she snapped to attention when she saw who was up there, hanging out in one of the VIP areas. Standing there, looking regal in a dress jacket and a white shirt and giving her a slow clap, was the villain of the hour.
Barry was peering down at her table, all smug looking. Just like that, her mood instantly soured. He was a dose of instant curdled milk, or spilled snacks, everywhere he went.
We all hate Barry. We all love to hate Barry. Wanna see what he's plotting? Check out the Patreon in the clickable image below where we're up to chapter 36 and beyond! The first people who sign up will be able to sign on at a 25% discount compared to the normal tier, but slots are limited! Don't wait, go check it out today! (Magius acquires the Merchant Class to make the sale...)
