Newbie Apocalypse: Noob-Difficulty Tutorial

I briskly walked towards that passage, mentally encouraging myself that the best cards were surely hidden there, away from the eyes of the main crowd.

Entering the passage, I expected to see a second counter, maybe even some exclusive cards hidden from the main crowd. But instead, I was met with a surprise that could hardly be called pleasant. The place I ended up in was nothing more than a filthy restroom with three peeling stalls. The smell, to put it mildly, left much to be desired, and the atmosphere was such that even cockroaches would probably scurry away in horror.

Almost no one paid attention to this corner — there were no people, except for one. In the far corner under the only sink sat a scruffy, unkempt man who looked more like a chronic drunkard. Unpleasant wheezing and growling emanated from his corner, as if he were trying to inhale all the smell of this toilet at once. “Well, this is clearly a place for the chosen ones,” I thought sarcastically, trying not to breathe through my nose.

Suddenly, characteristic sounds began to emanate from the central, half-open stall, which even a deaf person could recognize. I anxiously noticed a strangely colored liquid flowing from under the door, which no one would likely want to be splashed with. Suddenly, some guy with his pants down burst out from there, his eyes full of panic, and his body seemed to lose its shape, becoming somewhat translucent.

“I thought it was a bathroom, so I decided... well, to take the opportunity and—” he blurted out but didn't finish his sentence before he completely dissipated into the air. Apparently, the System deemed his behavior unacceptable and immediately took action. It seems the guy overdid it a bit with his gastronomic choice.

Deciding to take a look around, I peeked into the side stalls. Expectations, to be honest, were low, but reality exceeded them: there was nothing interesting there — just half-broken barrels and rust on the walls. Yeah, there definitely won't be any random encounters with mythical creatures here, I realized, already anticipating having to return to the main line with my head down.

A stifled sigh escaped me involuntarily as soon as I realized that there was only one thing left to do — peek into that very central stall from which the poor fellow with wet pants had run out. The smell there, to put it mildly, was not like a perfume shop, and every breath made my stomach make serious attempts to rid itself of its contents. But, pinching my nose and struggling to keep my balance, I still went inside.

What a crap day, I thought, trying not to breathe, just to survive in this nightmare.

And then a lifesaving panel appeared before me. Flashing, it distracted me from this disgusting environment, and I focused all my attention on the list, which was much more limited than the last I checked.

Combat Dagger [Common]

Rank: F

Description: The combat dagger is a classic melee weapon designed for quick and precise attacks. The blade is made of tempered steel, capable of piercing even light armor. Although this dagger does not possess any special magical properties, it is extremely reliable and sharp, making it ideal for those who prefer to resolve conflicts in close proximity to the enemy. Compact and lightweight, it easily hides under clothing, making it an excellent choice for covert operations or sudden attacks. The handle is adorned with simple patterns that, while not affecting its combat qualities, give the weapon an elegant appearance.

Price: 150 points.

What the heck, there’s no sale in this shop? I realized as I saw the price, which was higher than the price for a similar item in the normal shop — and that was even before the 50% deduction. No wonder no one wanted to go to this shitty shop, I’m sure someone already tried and then told everyone that its items are overpriced. Otherwise, I bet some people would still go here, enduring the humiliation.

Bonds of Weakness [Uncommon]

Rank: E

Description: Bonds of Weakness is a magical ability designed for the strategic weakening of an opponent. When the card is activated, invisible magical chains bind the enemy, slowing their movements and reactions. Visually, this may appear as shimmering ribbons of light wrapping around the target, or a barely noticeable shadow tightening around their limbs. The duration and degree of slowing down directly depend on the user's Mind attribute — the higher this attribute, the stronger the effect. This spell allows you to control the pace of battle, giving you and your allies the opportunity to attack with minimal risk. However, it is important to remember the cooldown, which is 15 minutes, so using the Bonds of Weakness should be reserved for the most critical moments.

Cost: 700 points.

Even Emilia doesn’t have enough points for this, I noted. And such a long cooldown for such a limited effect isn’t worth a slot in most cases.

Summon Battle Hamster [Common]

Rank: F

Description: This card activates an unusual but extremely fun ability — Summon Battle Hamster. At first glance, it may seem like a joke, but in reality, the hamster is an amazingly nimble and aggressive creature, capable of distracting the enemy and even inflicting minor damage with its sharp teeth. The summoned hamster looks like a harmless, fluffy animal, but its speed and fearlessness can save you from trouble more than once. It can jump, scratch, and bite, causing chaos among opponents. The hamster acts autonomously, following its instincts and may even attack its summoner, which makes it an unpredictable ally on the battlefield. Despite its limited combat abilities, this small creature can become an unexpected trump card in your arsenal. At the very least, it will amuse your opponents while they’re killing you!

Cooldown time — three hours. When creating a new hamster, the previous one disappears if it’s still alive.

Price: 200 points.

I wouldn’t buy this garbage even if it was free, are you even serious, System?! Really, it seems this shop exists just to mock those who use it. Then again, if you can eat those hamsters, this ability could save you from hunger if you’re ever lost in the middle of nowhere…

Power Surge [Uncommon]

Rank: E

Description: Power Surge is an enhancement card that instantly gives the user a noticeable bonus to all attributes for a short period. After activation, the energy emanating from the card envelops the user, making them better, faster, stronger, and more resilient. For one minute, their physical attributes increase by 25%, which can be a decisive factor in battle or any other tense moment.

The card has five charges, with six hours cooldown time between uses.

Price: 500 points.

The effect is decent, but five charges for 500 points? I doubt that it’s worth it.

Minor Health Potion [Common]

Rank: F

Description: A Minor Health Potion is a basic yet extremely useful card designed to sustain life and heal wounds. Upon activation, the potion applies magical energy that accelerates tissue regeneration, heals minor cuts and bruises, and restores a small amount of life energy. The card has four charges, each of which can be used at a separate moment, making it especially useful in certain situations. The potion acts quickly, providing noticeable relief within seconds of application. Although it is not capable of preventing serious injuries, it does an excellent job of keeping a fighter combat-ready during prolonged battles.

The card has three charges, with one hour cooldown between uses.

Price: 100 points.

Finally, a card I can buy! But why would I? There’s a point in buying cards for half-price while you can, but this one I can always get after completing the next trial. It’s also nothing special, there are better options for this price in the normal shop.

All these cards were, of course, interesting, but suddenly one caught my eye, surrounded by a bright frame and with a loud headline:

“Hurry to buy, last chance to purchase at an incredible deal! 99% discount, offer ends in: 69 seconds.”

Rich Loser [???]

Rank: ???

Description: Buy and find out!

Price: 132 points (original price: 13200 points)

The price was exactly 132 points — the exact amount I had in my balance. I hesitated for a moment, but it seemed too good a coincidence to pass up. At worst, I’d get some shitty card, at best I’d win a jackpot. What could possible go wrong?

Wishing to acquire it, I expected anything but what happened next. The toilet bubbled as if someone was trying to escape from it, and with a sound that could embarrass even the most experienced plumber, a card flew out of it. It landed on the floor with a squelching sound, which, to put it mildly, was far from sanitary, completely fouled by the previous visitor.

Trying not to vomit, I used my ability and created a long coil of duct tape. Wrapping it around my hand in several layers, I gingerly picked up the card from the floor. As soon as I touched it, it instantly disappeared, ending up in my inventory. Because, of course, we had those magical spatial spaces that could contain cards. Obviously. Now its description changed to “equip and find out!”. However, I couldn't use the card yet due to the lack of slots, so the intrigue of what it offered still remained.

Letting out a heavy sigh, I quickly left that ill-fated place. Outside, I was met by fresh air, which I inhaled with passion. Never again, I thought, as I walked away from that cursed corner that was supposed to be the second stall.

Glancing briefly at the unfortunate souls still jostling at the main stall, I quickly headed towards the Martial Arts Center. I remembered that time was very limited, and I wanted to visit this place before the trial. Perhaps there I could get some weapons to protect myself, after all without an ability to equip cards, I’d have to rely on my duct tape and fists. Getting a simple sword or shield would improve my chances if I had to fight anything.

When I overcame the massive entrance, something completely unusual opened up before me. I found myself facing a gigantic rift in space, which looked as if time itself had been torn to pieces, leaving a gaping void behind. Everything around me dissolved and disappeared, leaving me standing before this strange phenomenon, like the gates to another world. The rift shimmered with strange shades of blue and black, as if tiny fragments of a starry sky flickered in its depths, and at the same time, it seemed completely devoid of light. It was so unnatural that the mind refused to accept it as reality, but the more I looked at it, the more it drew me in.

For a moment, I froze in indecision. What if it's some kind of trap? As if I needed a whole rift in the universe for a trap. But still, something inside protested, instinct or maybe common sense. But stubbornness, as usual, prevailed. After all, what do I have to lose? I won't survive in this cursed tutorial anyway, so I might as well see what's interesting on the other side. Taking a deep breath and convincing myself that if I do burn in this parallel hell, at least I would do so with good thoughts in my head, imagining a fragrant and delicious pizza, I stepped inside.

Immediately, it was as if I was pulled out of the familiar world and thrown into some unimaginable void. The space around me instantly distorted. I felt like I was in a centrifuge that had been set to full power, only instead of spinning around an axis, I was falling into endless vortices of light and darkness, indistinguishable lines and shapes. Temporal boundaries stretched, then collapsed, and space turned inside out. Images flashed around me that I couldn't catch with my gaze, but I felt they conveyed something important. Perhaps scenes from the past or future, or maybe moments I would never see. There was some kind of pattern in this chaos, elusive to understanding.

Every second stretched into eternity. In one moment, I was sure I stood at the edge of time, and in the next, that I did not exist at all. I saw images of my childhood, as if they were flashing before me at incredible speed, but as soon as I tried to grasp them, they vanished. Everything mixed and merged, and I felt as if I were literally being torn apart along with this space.

For a while, I was surrounded only by darkness, and I began to think that this was the end, that I would just disappear here, lost forever in this interdimensional hell. I even had time to regret that I had decided to take this step at all, although I was not going to give up. But then a sharp jolt, as if someone—no, something—pulled me out of this nightmare, and with a scream that remained only in my head, I found myself on a solid surface.

When my consciousness finally stopped floating somewhere in parallel dimensions, I realized that I was standing on a flat surface resembling soft rubber. Underfoot, there was a light, resilient jolt, as if the ground was made of something not entirely solid, yet not quite soft. I looked around, but only emptiness stretched out around me. The feeling of unreality, as if I had entered some kind of empty cosmos, continued to haunt me, but now everything was quiet, too quiet.

And then, as if by a snap, the space next to me began to distort, as if it were starting to melt. Before my eyes, from this distorting matter, a tall creature slowly materialized. It looked like a mix between a human and a tiger: a huge tiger head with yellow predatory eyes, impressive lower paws covered in fur, and a human body, thin and emaciated, under which faint outlines of muscles were visible. He stood on two legs, and his entire posture spoke of extreme dissatisfaction with life. Only sports shorts adorned with bright inscriptions, as if someone had thrown all sorts of slogans on them, completely mismatched with each other, were draped over his body. And this entire body, from head to paws, was covered in thick fur.

“I'm the coach here,” the creature growled in such a voice that its roar echoed. “My name is Vister.”

The stranger looked at me with such arrogance, as if a creature unworthy of even a glance stood before him. Or maybe he just didn't know how else to express his dissatisfaction with existence.

“I am not just any trainer, by the way,” Vister continued, fully switching to stories about his own significance. “I am Vister, the Lord of the Tiger Planet, Master of Claws and Teeth, the Victor of the Bloody Tournament of the Ancient Stars, where more than twenty million high ranked creatures from across the galaxy personally applauded me! Yes, I even surpassed the legendary Tamer of the Abyss and managed to crush him with a single swipe of my paw!”

His voice grew stronger with each word, as if he had decided that if he spoke loudly and authoritatively enough, I would believe every one of his assertions. It's amazing how much one can inflate their ego when surrounded by myths of unprecedented feats. Or maybe Vister genuinely believed that this gave him weight in my eyes.

“I trained the Time Defenders themselves!” he continued, his voice rising to an almost hysterical scream that echoed through the emptiness around him. “My name is known in nine parallel realities! In fact, in one of the dimensions, they deified me and built a temple in my honor!”

I mentally, or perhaps even visibly, rolled my eyes. Well, if you believed Vister, he was not just a coach, but apparently the greatest coach in the universe and beyond. One could only wonder how his greatness didn't press through the soft rubber surface beneath his feet.

“If you're so cool, what are you doing here?” I couldn't resist asking this question out loud, wanting to find out why the “strongest creature in the universe” resides on this patch of rubbery void and coaches some random newbies.

The half-tiger flinched, and his yellow eyes flashed with anger for a moment, but then he smirked, clearly considering himself above such questions.

“Got you on the hook!” Vister growled, leaning closer to me, his growl turning into a sinister hiss. “I am not here because I am a loser or have lost my power. I chose this place because it is from here that the path to greatness begins! Here, on this patch of void, I create new heroes, tempering their will and strength. It is my mission to teach those like you, so that I can later call you my students. And those who can't handle it are not worthy of my knowledge!”

His words were full of pomp, but there was something else in them — perhaps some hidden resentment or fatigue. Maybe he truly believed in his importance, or he was just trying to justify his existence here.

I barely held back from smirking. The strongest creature in the universe, choosing the role of mentor to the local noobs? I'm sure it could find a more worthy occupation for itself. But this time I decided to keep these thoughts to myself and remained silent. If he wanted to believe in his uniqueness, who was I to dissuade him? Also, he could still probably crush me if he wanted to. Out of interest, I tried to check his status just like I did previously with participants.

Vister Twister

Rank: Ether Seer, C

Level: 11

Note from Vargas: Don’t listen to his nonsense, this old man has a screw loose. If you were unlucky to be sent here and have him as your teacher, the System really played a bad joke on you.

“In short,” barked Vister, not waiting for my response, “You should realize who you're dealing with. Here, on this humble patch of emptiness, I call the shots. If you want to become as powerful as I am, do what I say. And don't even think about doubting my methods! Otherwise, you might find yourself somewhere in another dimension, and without my help.”

Now, after reading his status, I really wanted to curse. It seemed that even here, the System decided to screw me. Sure, his rank was higher than any of the participants, but not that high and his level was barely above mine. Why didn’t the System send me to be trained by some powerful, hot lady? Vargas would’ve been a perfect teacher…

“There are different training zones here," the half-tiger finally moved on to something constructive and I had to listen to him. "Each for its own attribute, be it Strength or Spirit. There is also a special zone for training abilities. Entry to the most basic of zones costs at least 15 points. There are advanced zones as well, but they require a higher fee. And also, for an additional fee, you can get the exclusive opportunity of my personal mentorship."

Wait a minute, a thought flashed through my mind. So, do you have to pay for each training session? And not just pay, but a whole 15 points, at a minimum? Yeah, it turns out you can't even save on training. Commerce thrives everywhere and anywhere. Literally at every step. It feels like everything in this Tutorial is tied to those damn points. Maybe soon I'll start paying for air too?

Somewhere inside me, something clicked, and I suddenly remembered that I had spent all my points on that ill-fated 'Rich Loser' card. Great, even if I wanted to train here, nothing would come of it. This realization hit me like an avalanche, and immediately a cold, lifeless announcement voice echoed in my head.

Attention! The next trial will begin in 15 minutes.

The meaning of these words had barely registered when suddenly the surrounding space began to distort. The air around me started to vibrate, and I felt an invisible force pulling me into the unknown. Streams of light and darkness began to swirl around me, as if I were moving through time and space simultaneously. It was a sensation as if I were in the eye of a hurricane, where space stretches and contracts, and time either rushes too fast or stands still. My legs seemed to lose their footing, and I felt the void beginning to engulf me.

The world around me blurred, disappearing into infinity. Temporal streams mixed, and I couldn't understand where I was — here or there, in the past or the future. It seemed that I was about to disintegrate into atoms, dissolve in this endless cycle of energies. And suddenly, in the blink of an eye, everything stopped. I found myself standing in the middle of the central hall, surrounded by hundreds of people just like me — confused, astonished, and clearly nervous.

“To all trial participants!” echoed the same cold voice that was already beginning to annoy me. “Within 15 minutes, you must form teams of three people and one team of two people. To do this, stand next to each other and hold hands, forming a closed circle for a few seconds. Those who do not manage to form a team within the allotted time will be assimilated as unfit.”

I suddenly felt panic begin to boil inside me. Damn! No one wants to be on a team with me! I didn’t even ask that damn tiger about weapons! This thought pierced my consciousness like lightning.

Remembering how everyone reluctantly looked in my direction after Vargas's speech, I realized that I was in a rather unpleasant situation. Everyone started moving, looking for their future partners, and I noticed how some were already quickly forming groups of three, instantly disappearing from the hall with a slight ripple in space. To my disappointment, I didn’t see anyone holding any weapons, which indicated that I couldn’t get one, either. It seemed that I’d have to rely on duct tape and barehand fighting in whatever came next. It’s not cool, not cool at all.

I rushed to the first group of people, trying to squeeze in and suggest teaming up. But as soon as I started speaking, they immediately turned away, as if I were the last person they wanted to see nearby. I managed to run to the next group, but there I also met only cold stares and categorical refusals.

I dashed to a group of people who clearly couldn't find a team for themselves. Loners and outcasts, just like me—or at least that's what I thought. Their eyes darted around the hall, and I decided this was my chance.

“Hey, guys,” I began, trying to look confident, “Let's team up. We hardly have any time left. I took 12th place in the last trial, so you can rely on me!”

But instead of relief or adoration on their faces, I saw only irritation and contempt. One of them, a guy with a miserable look and hair sticking out in all directions, looked at me with such disgust, as if I had offered him a plate of cold oatmeal.

“With you?” he snorted. “Yeah, better to be without a team at all.”

I felt anger rising within me. Seriously? Even they don't want to be on the same team as me? Those dregs of life, who can't find partners themselves, consider me useless?

“My ability, you know, can also be quite useful,” I continued, not giving up. “For example, with the help of duct tape...”

“Duct tape?” the girl with panda eyes laughed, as if I had suggested she go to war with a plastic knife. “You're quite the joker. No way, better to be assimilated than to drag you along. You were lucky in the last trial dealing with insects, but the next one is going to be a real deal.”

The words stuck in my throat, and anger flared up like a bright flame. This is no longer just absurd, it's mockery on the edge of reality! I tried to hold back, but inside everything was boiling with indignation and panic. How can one be so brazen to refuse even in such a situation?

I stood in the middle of the hall, feeling my world crumble. Anger and fear overwhelmed me, and I had no idea what to do next. Every second felt like a hammer, with each strike bringing me closer to inevitable assimilation. My only choice would be to wait for someone who were in the same situation, being left completely alone. But how would I complete a trial for three people in a pair with someone so useless?

The crowd of people around me was slowly thinning. Every moment, someone was transported into the void with a slight flash of light. And then, as the number of people in the hall began to dwindle to a critical level, the voice boomed again over my ear like a sinister bell.

Only 5 minutes left. Reminder: all who do not form teams will be assimilated as unfit.

I felt cold sweat trickling down my back. Panic overwhelmed me like a wave. Every time I tried to approach someone, I was either ignored or disdainfully pushed away. Even the remaining loners avoided me like the plague. Was I really that useless? Or had Vargas cursed me, making everyone see me as worse than I really was? Yes, that was probably her revenge for glaring at her too much.

When hope finally began to fade completely, and I was almost resigned to the inevitable, I saw her. Emilia. The very Emilia who took first place in the last trial. Everyone dreamed of joining her team. She was the last person I expected to see beside me at this moment.

Her appearance was like a strange mirage in the desert. She walked straight towards me, her gaze full of pity, which only fueled my irritation further. As she approached me, she gave me a condescending look that said she was not here because she wanted to be with me, but because she simply felt sorry for me.

“I couldn't leave you to die,” she said calmly. “It would be too cruel if you perished because you were alone. Or even worse — if you teamed up with someone just like you. That would be two wasted lives. That's why I rejected all the offers from strong participants and decided that saving you would be the right thing to do.”

Suddenly, something clicked inside my mind. All my irritation, fear, and panic suddenly vanished, leaving room for the sweet thought of how I could use this situation to my advantage. An expression of complete innocence immediately appeared on my face, and I portrayed myself as an angel in the flesh to the best of my ability.

“Oh, Emilia,” I began, making my voice as weak and trembling as possible. “You are such a savior! Thank you for this, I didn't know what to do... I was really scared...”

My heart was clenched with inner laughter, but on the outside, I looked like the most miserable and grateful person in the world. I understood that in her eyes, I was the one she considered her little charitable mission. It was a great opportunity to take advantage of her naivety. Then again, perhaps behind the mask of the savior, she was hiding something way more egoistical. If I had to guess, she was getting off from all the attention and admiration she received, and so I decided to play along… or at least I’d try, as pretending wasn’t exactly my forte.

Emilia seemed oblivious to my internal struggle, calmly watching as the remaining loners formed teams. She offered advice to the other participants on how to act and who to team up with, barely acknowledging my attempts at flattery. It appeared she’d already had her fill of it for the day, and it wasn’t working as well as I’d hoped.

As the hall emptied, leaving just the two of us, the countdown ticking down to its final seconds, a strange tension hung in the air. Emilia moved confidently, without hesitation, and reached out, taking both of my hands in hers. Her grip was firm yet soft, her skin warm against mine. There was something calming about the way her fingers wrapped around mine, and for a fleeting moment, I couldn’t help but notice the subtle grace in her movements, a quiet strength beneath the surface.

Our hands formed a circle, and the instant our palms connected, the space around us flared with brilliant light. A pulse of energy surged between us, as if our connection triggered something deep and powerful. The world dissolved into a blinding brightness, and at that moment, I couldn’t tell if it was the magic or the lingering effect of her touch that made my heart race.