New System, Who Dis?

Tuesday, April 30th, 2069

Contract Reparations

{[Redacted] the Great Snake of Nagsind}, hereby referred to as [Nagina] has offered a Contract, that threatened death.

Under System laws of protection 2005.3-1 [Nagina] has prevented the successful completion of the terms 12 times, and attempted to take the lives of the [Brodie’s Party] 23 times.

This results in 35 breaks of the contracts implied terms.

Reparations are set!

1 accepted item of Low Quality for each breach.

1 accepted item of Mid Quality for every 5 Breaches.

1 accepted item of High Quality for every 10 Breaches.

Failure to meet [Brodie’s Party’s] terms will result in System Sanctions on [Nagina].

Negotiations have begun between representatives of both parties.

“I’ve given you and your ssstupid group far more than thirty-five low-ranked itemsss. End thisss farce.”

“Ahhh, but that was to help the group with completion of your Task,” Smegma answered, his voice filled with condescension. “You truly wanted to have cooked Fish, Nagina.”

“Do not call me by that name!” Nagina exclaimed. “That name is only allowed to be spoken by my children!” Something clearly was restraining Nagina, because the heat in her words was greater than anything I’d heard to date. I’m positive she would have paired it with an attempt on my life.

“Thisss is ssstupid!” She complained a moment later, her body seeming to tremble with unchecked rage. “The boy still is holding hundredsss if not thousandsss of Crystalsss of mine. Take them all, I have more important thingsss to do!”

“That’s not how this works, Nagina,” Smegma said. “Can you prove ownership of those Crystals?”

“He usssed nine high-ranked coresss, thossse I can prove ownerssship of!”

“Again, stupid-snake, they were given in good faith to complete your Task. Had you not given them, you’d have been in Breach of Contract for initiating an impossible Quest, and we’d be right back here in the same position. If you continue to negotiate in bad faith. We’ll be forced to let the System Sanction you. I think you and I both know how well that would go for your Ascension.”

I realized I had become nothing more than a spectator to this ‘trial,’ and I was quite alright with that. There were the obvious reasons, like Smegma knowing more about the System. But, there was one reason I knew I could never be the leader in this situation. Each time the idiot-Demon insulted the massively powerful Snake I shivered, flinched or twitched.

If I was honest, I would have just taken the Crystals and fled. What if the powerful Snake came back to exact revenge? Smegma gave me a look, clearly reading my thoughts as the Snake trembled and snapped its jaws in the background. I could tell that its rage was truly reaching a crescendo, as spit or perhaps globs of venom flew from its jaws.

[Maybe ease off with the provocations?] I suggested to the Demon. To my surprise, he nodded in agreement, even as his face grew worried.

[Yeah, maybe you’re right. It’s kinda equal parts fun and terrifying, but it’s not really getting us anywhere.]

I guess he hadn’t really expected this large of a reaction. It was like watching a full grown man throw a tantrum like a child. One where he slammed his fists and legs into the floor. Where he clearly had lost control, and couldn’t even form a single thought in his head.

[It’s like she’s a child,] I finally concluded. Thanks in a large part to what I was witnessing, and just compared it to. Smegma blinked several times but then nodded.

“Great Nagina, we do not wish to see you under Sanctions. We wish to send you off to Ascend. Surely you have many items you’ve collected over your long life. Items you care little for but may help us? You’ve seen how the System has responded to your acts of bad faith. Imagine its response if you were to instead, act in good faith and provide something that would be legitimately beneficial.”

Thankfully, Nagina’s snapping jaws, and vibrating body slowed and then stilled. She turned all three massive yellow eyes on us, narrowed them, but then somehow seemed to shrug? Then what could only be described as a mountain of items fell into space exactly between her and me.

I stared as the mountain settled. What was all this? The fact that I could see plate armor, bows, swords, spears and other assorted Hunter gear in the pile made my heart catch. Still, it was the larger pieces of gear that made me blink. I guess I had found where the items that used to be found in the Naga Complex had gone.

There were even beds, each of which was large for a human but equivalent to a toothpick to the Great Snake. There were flasks, beakers, graduated cylinders, and other equipment I thought could be used for Alchemy. Was that the Smithy and Forge equipment? Were those living plants? Animal skeletons? Oh, shit!

Two Skeletons in the pile stood out far more than the rest. First that was because they were easily the size of eight or nine T-rex’s. But the size wasn’t what made me stare. It was the shape and predatory implications the thing carried. They were so much more than ‘dinosaurs,’ so much more than ‘predators.’

Even Dragon Skeletons were majestic, terrifying and proud?

I shivered and looked behind the pile at the Snake, and then Smegma spoke into my mind. [She killed two of those and kept their husking skeletons!]

Smegma visibly swallowed, seeming to realize just who or perhaps what he had just sent into apoplectic rage. I swallowed too, and immediately prayed to any God listening, that this thing didn’t hold grudges.

The glare from three yellow hate-filled eyes I met over the top of the treasure mountain, told me that only one ‘god’ was listening, and it apparently did, in fact, hold grudges.

[Husking Greed Demon,] I swore. The target was Smegma but also the situation. Why had we ended up in a collapsed Mine with a damn Universe Snake, or whatever the Demon called the thing.

“We’ll choose items from this pile, and be on our way, Great Nagina,” Smegma said, his voice back to meek.

“I told you not to call me that!” Nagina responded, each word snapped out, accompanied by her clicking jaw.

“But, Great Nagina. You said that only your children were allowed to speak your hallowed name. After all the time we’ve spent together, I feel like you’ve become like a mother to me, so please—allow me this small favor.” The demon bowed low and with a flourish that would make a court jester blush.

The next hiss rattled the walls of the cavern as rocks and stalactites fell from the ceiling overhead. One enormous sample of which smashed into the ground inches from me.

[Are you out of your mind? Knock it off and stop using her husking name!] I complained, even as I repressed a shiver.

Even Smegma shivered and went silent for a long moment. Not even moving toward the pile. Thankfully, Mental Fortitude wasn’t affected by the Snake and even pointed something out. We had an opportunity to nab three potentially very useful objects of the Snake’s, depending on how well we chose. Objects that would not only help immediately with Mining Contracts, but for a very long time afterward.

“Oh,” I muttered and then coughed as it came out slightly squeaky. “Great One, could we also choose things like the Mana Batteries you lent us for the Task?”

The Snake blinked, then narrowed its eyes. “Why did you have me pull out thisss ssstuff, if you already had itemsss you wissshed for!”

That drew my ‘courage’ up short. Was I about to piss the Snake off further if I answered, since I destroyed its Mana Battery and then kind of forgot about it?

“We only have two Mana Batteries, Great One,” Smegma answered, following my lead and returning to the moniker the Snake had accepted in the past. “To fully clear this debt, we’d need to pick five—“ Smegma froze, as something popped up in front of him and me.

Contract Reparations

[Nagina] has attempted to kill [Brodie] 7 more times during Negotiations.

42 Breaches Occurred

[Was the System listening?] I asked mentally. Shocked at the response and timing of the notification.

“Sorry, it seems to clear this debt we must choose twenty-two more Reparation items or two more High Quality and two Low Quality ones.” Smegma’s voice had shifted once again. This time seeming like a salesman trying to do the Snake a favor.

“We still only wish to help you avoid the System’s notice.” Smegma added, acting every ounce the slimy car-salesman.

“Cccertainly,” the Snake hissed. It’s voice confused. It was then, I realized that in some ways it truly was a child. A child with unimaginable power, but mentally just that. A Child. Surely we could turn this around.

[Let’s pick one more Mana Battery, another High Grade item, and we should probably accept the Crystals as the remaining payment?] I sent to Smegma. [Call it an act of goodwill, a toast to its bright future, or something.]

Smegma looked at me and rolled his eyes. Then motioned me forward to look at the pile with him. I did so, even as Smegma multitasked and said, “We will choose one another Mana Battery, a High Grade Item from this pile, and then to show our goodwill, we will accept the Mana Crystals already provided by the Great One—to zero her Karmic Debt.”

Nagina’s eyes narrowed again, but then widened happily. Her head bobbed up and down in agreement. I heaved out a sigh of relief, earning her attention and suspicion for a moment. I coughed and said, “I’m just relieved that we could help you, Great One.”

Mental Fortitude pulsed. Well not really, because I didn’t know where that Skill resided. Still, something in my mind shuddered, and then expanded. My eyes narrowed slowly to slits as I looked into the eyes of the Snake. Gone was the strange feeling I’d had a moment before. Like fog in the sun the notion of child-like innocence evaporated. [Oh, Husk. It’s using a Skill on me!]

Smegma spun on me, his black eyes so round it was almost comical. His mouth slowly fell open as he gave the smallest of nods. We were being played, but if I was honest—my first thought wasn’t that we should retaliate. It was that we should pretend to let Nagina ‘win.’

“Surely, you have other items to offer as well—Nagina,” Smegma stated, even as a smirk broke out onto his face.

[Mother-husker!] I swore.

Nagina’s eyes fully returned to baleful hate, as she began to vibrate and spit globs of poison ineffectually again. This time not in some sort of act, but in true anger at being discovered. Unfortunately, the window for negotiations already had three items confirmed and accepted. One S-Rank Mana Battery and Two A-Ranked ones as well.

Where had the third Mana Battery come from? I looked down to my hand, and discovered I had picked on up in whatever fugue state the Snake had placed me under. I truly had been under some type of mind control—but Mental Fortitude had helped me with it!

Why was it unfortunate that I’d accepted the two unbroken Mana Battery’s and accidentally picked up another? Because the Mountainous pile grew to at least double its previous size, occluding Nagina from my sight. I was nearly one hundred percent sure, we could have found three S-rank Mana Batteries in there—if nothing else. With the pile of new treasure I heard more than saw the Snake stopping its temper tantrum.

And yet, despite the choices on clear display there was only one thing my eyes focused on. The why, was hard to explain. But every time I looked at the things that drew my eyes—because there were more than one, I couldn’t look away.

They were clearly scales, and by some power of immense deductive reasoning… I could tell they were Dragon Scales. Two in particular exuded an allure that I couldn’t resist. In fact, I didn’t even remember walking over to the larger black one. Or reaching out to run my hand over it.

“We’ll take this,” I said, before I fully thought the decision through.

“Hold on—” Smegma began to complain, but the menacing bellowing growl and subsequent hiss drew the Demon up short of finishing his complaint.

“You dare choossse the Heart Scale of [Static],” I could tell the Snake clearly didn’t speak the strange static noise. But what it had actually said was entirely indiscernible. I tried to think back on it, and found a sharp stabbing migraine whenever I tried to recall the specific word for the name the Snake had used. As soon as I stopped looking for the word, it went away.

“Pick your two other Low Ranked itemsss, Contendersss. I’ll be ssseeing you.” The hissed threat practically shut down my brain. I’d husked up. Bad! Exactly what I had wanted to avoid, I had just done.

“Ahh, but stupid Nagina, did you forget that you tried to kill us—look at that ten more times?!” Smegma interjected—and I slowly turned horror stricken eyes on him. Okay, blaming myself might have been premature.

All three of the Snake’s eyes narrowed, and I could feel the baleful hate radiating from the creature. Seeing the Snake in this state, made me shiver even as I internally raged against the damn Demon. [Smegma, what the actual husk!]

“Well, then Great One,” Smegma said, his tone back to overly pleasant. “We’ll simply take the other Scale and two more of the smaller black scales,” Smegma said in my place. I heard him and my brain attempted a reboot. Had he just claimed the second Heart Scale? I glanced down at it and then the Scales that surrounded the two large shield like scales my hands were unconsciously caressing. I started and pulled back my hands as if they were burned. The smaller ones held an allure to me as well, but were simply overshadowed by the two ‘Heart Scales.’

“Agreeeeed.” The Snake said, its mouth barely moving as it drew out the word. Just the utterance felt like a razor peeling back my skin. “Now, let usss end thisss Sssyssstem farce! Just know Brodie Flacarada, Grubsssack called Smegma, I’ve heard all your communications! Me or my children will find you!”

The grayscale to the world vanished, as did the two Heart Scale, and two of the smaller ones. In fact, the entire mountain of treasure was missing. Still, I only was concerned with the—

Nagina struck! Well, she vanished, and I thought I saw just a hint of her open mouthed-strike before everything around me changed. We were back in the public park we’d entered the Portal from on Earth.

I scanned around myself, seeing my group doing the same, even as I realized the park wasn’t the same as it had been when we set out… How many days ago had that been? How long had we been down there?

I didn’t get a chance to voice those questions, since my brain cataloged the most pressing change to the public park. The armed ‘soldiers’ pointing every manner of gun at my group. Then of course, there were the hastily erected concrete barriers that were just in front of the temporary fencing that had been there on our entrance.

The scene of weapons trained on me was terrifying certainly, but my body found it distinctly hard to find the mundane action as terrifying as Nagina had been. I slowly raised my hands over my head and saw the rest of my group follow my lead. Smegma didn’t, and I just hoped he had turned himself invisible before any of these guys saw him. ‘Cause if a floating winged Demon exiting a closed Portal wasn’t a reason to start shooting. I didn’t know what was—