Naruto: Uchiha's Bizarre Adventure

With the Second Great Shinobi War drawing to a close, the border between the Land of Fire and the Land of Rain had finally quieted.

Above the forest, the moon hung high in the star-speckled sky. Below, surrounded by flickering campfires, laughter and light filled the woods.

"CHEERS!!"

Konoha shinobi raised their voices in celebration, roasted boar sizzling on spits, steam rising from makeshift pots of soup. Victory was theirs.

No alcohol, of course, not officially.

Even though their enemies had surrendered, they weren't foolish enough to drop their guard completely. Being drunk on the edge of contested land? That was asking for trouble.

Except for three people.

"Sssahh~!" Jiraiya exhaled deeply, savoring the rich warmth of high-quality sake.

"Hmm… I must admit, this is one of the finest brews I've ever tasted," Orochimaru added with an approving nod, swirling the drink in his cup before taking another sip.

"AHAHAHA!" Tsunade laughed, lifting her cup proudly. "See? Isn't my student amazing?" she grinned before knocking back the rest of her drink.

The three Sannin sat in a tight circle, sake bottle between them, courtesy of Kadoya.

Top-shelf sake, of course. The kind brewed to bribe Tsunade, pacify Orochimaru, and butter up Jiraiya.

"He's also my student," Orochimaru said coolly, glancing at Tsunade.

"AHAHAHA! He's also-"

BOOM.

Jiraiya's declaration was cut short as Tsunade's fist launched him out of the circle, crashing into a nearby log with a muffled grunt.

Unlike Orochimaru, who had been officially assigned as Kadoya's teacher by the Third Hokage, Jiraiya somehow weaseled his way into the role through sheer shameless persistence.

Exactly how he pulled it off, neither Tsunade nor Orochimaru knew. But the thought of sharing her precious wine mak- ahem, student, with these two annoyed Tsunade to no end.

She had a plan to monopolize him, but it seems that now she needs to share.

Still, they had earned their right to relax. They'd survived battles, bloodshed, and chaos. Their rank and reputation gave them certain liberties, namely, this bottle of carefully rationed liquor.

And Kadoya wasn't about to let the legendary trio of gambling, drugs, and smut drink themselves stupid and become deadweight. So, he only gave them one bottle. And made them share.

"Kadoya, come join us!" Nawaki called out, waving as he walked over to his teammate. Kadoya sat perched on a tree branch, quietly watching the night sky.

"Maybe later," he replied calmly, for once not lacing his words with insults or sarcasm.

"Alright then! I'll save you some meat!" Nawaki grinned before jogging back toward the campfire, his bright energy undimmed by the war. "Kadoya said he won't eat much, so just save him a piece."

Kadoya allowed himself a small smile.

That idiot actually survived.

Orochimaru didn't fall into darkness.

Tsunade didn't become a waste.

And Konoha has won the war earlier than the original story by two months.

Everything was... surprisingly peaceful.

That was when he sensed it, a summoning request.

Forming a single hand seal with one hand, a small puff of smoke appeared on the branch beside him.

"Jiro, what's the matter?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at the familiar orange-furred ninja cat.

"Kadoya-sama! It's urgent!" Jiro said in a flustered tone, quickly taking off the scroll from her back. "You need to read this now."

Kadoya's expression hardened. He took the scroll, unrolling it swiftly.

"Heh!?"

His eyes narrowed at the contents.

The Uchiha… wanted to overthrow Konoha?

Damn, he was only gone for like a few months, after his last return. Everything was still going so well, how the hell did it end up like this?

Skimming further down, the pieces fell into place.

The reason the Uchiha are in an uproar is because of the information sent back to the village.

A report had reached the village: Kadoya Uchiha led a group of Jonin and Chunin to confront Iwagakure's forces. He emerged victorious, but the report claimed he betrayed his team to win.

In short, it accused him of sacrificing his comrades for the mission.

And somehow, this version of the story had spread like wildfire throughout Konoha. This caused the proud Uchiha to become outraged.

They were ready to burn the village to the ground.

Thankfully, Setsuna and Fumo had managed to keep the clan in check, for now. They had called for an emergency assembly, waiting for Kadoya's direct order before taking action.

"Tch, they got the wrong name. I'm not Sakumo Hatake."

Sakumo: "?"

He joked, running a hand through his hair before pulling off his forehead protector.

He wants to cross it right now, but not yet. His brother hasn't become the Fourth Hokage; becoming a missing-nin now would do more harm than good.

He grabbed a pen, quickly writing a short, firm command to wait for his return first and not to do anything dramatic.

Handing over the scroll for Jiro to take back to the Uchiha. Jiro nodded and vanished with a poof.

Kadoya leaned back against the tree trunk and exhaled sharply.

"Great. There goes my plan to guilt-trip the Third Hokage to force the Hyuga to hand over the Cage Bird Cursed Seal Jutsu..."

Originally, Kadoya planned to use the Will of Fire, the one Hiruzen spoke about during his final battle in the original work. To guilt and trap Hiruzen into forcing the Hyuga's elders into handing over that jutsu.

Then he would modify the seal, shifting the effect of sealing the Byakugan to transferring the Byakugan to another location instead. Speaking logically, those Byakugan are sealed; if he could access it, that would be great, otherwise, just stealing from the Hyuga would work too.

As a Dōjutsu Clan, surely they would have some spare Byakugan lying around inside their vault like the Uchiha.

Back in the village, Setsuna almost flipped the table when he received the order. The Uchiha have to physically restrain him from storming the Hokage's office and throwing hands with Hiruzen himself.

Knowing their Clan Head. If they did something stupid, he'd drag them all out into the courtyard and make them dance.

Back with Kadoya.

System Point: 4

Ninja Point: 9418

Evil Point: 31583

Damn, causing mass genocide really is an easy way to farm Evil Points.

He then transfers 25000 Evil Points into 10 System Points to perform his usual 10x roll.

Congratulations! [New!] Psychic Attribute Unlocked, [New!] Fishing System, [New!] Sky Plate, [New!] Mind's Eye of the Kagura, [New!] Fūinjutsu: Jutsu Replication, [New!] Two-Tails Chakra Cloak, [New!] Lightning Style: Godspeed, [New!] Shroud of Martha, [New!] Nikyu Nikyu no Mi, [New!] Murasame, [New!] Master Smithy

He smiles, seeing the usual gacha reward notification pop up before him.

Now more in tune with his system, Kadoya decided to focus on the important stuff that needed his attention.

Activating the Fishing System, he found himself in a peculiar space, outside the bounds of time and dimension. Before him stretched a still, endless lake.

The Lake of Time. A place where one could fish up items across time and space, once every 24 hours.

Of course, to actually fish, one needed a rod. Luckily, Kadoya didn't need one.

With a casual flick of his fingers, threads of glowing chakra stretched from his fingertips, String Release forming a custom fishing line.

With practiced motion, he cast the string into the shimmering lake.

For a moment, there was silence.

Then, a sharp tug.

Kadoya raised an eyebrow and reeled it in.

"The hell...?" he muttered, holding up a black cloak, the red clouds unmistakable.

An Akatsuki cloak.

"Huh. I wonder whose this was..." he mused, casually tossing it into his inventory.

...

In an alternative timeline.

The Angel of Amegakure looks visibly annoyed, seeing that one of her Akatsuki Cloaks is missing.

She frowned.

"Why is my cloak missing?"

...

Back with Kadoya...

He calmly sorted through the rest of the items granted by his system, sealing what needed to be sealed, storing the rest for future use.

Kadoya is in no rush to increase his strength. With his current strength, Kadoya could pull a full Madara, walk out of Konoha, and no one would dare try to stop him.

Besides, he already knew what was waiting once he returned to the village; he wasn't worried.

As the Clan Head of both the Uzumaki and the Uchiha, Kadoya could use this situation to his advantage, isolating himself within the Uchiha District to draw the attention of those two old friends who did everything for Konoha.

And even if Kadoya Uchiha stayed inside the district... That didn't mean the other Kadoyas had to.

If necessary, Kadoya Senju could leave with Tsunade. Since she'd never formed that deep connection with the Waste Dan in this timeline, Shizune likely wouldn't become her student, so he should keep her company.

In that case, it'd be better for Senju to stick around her, keep her grounded.

He still had ten years before the Third Great Shinobi War erupted; he still had plenty of time.

The next day, the group finally returned to Konoha.

As they stepped through the village gates, they were greeted with cheers, warm smiles, and welcoming embraces. Friends and family rushed forward, celebrating their return from war.

But that peace was short-lived.

"You heartless monster!" a woman suddenly screamed, shattering the festive mood.

Gasps echoed as everyone turned.

A crying woman with pale blue hair stood in front of Kadoya, trembling, her eyes red and puffy from weeping.

"Y-You left my son to die! You killed him!" she shrieked, her voice hoarse and filled with grief.

The atmosphere shifted. The warmth turned cold.

Whispers rippled through the crowd like poison.

"Hey… did you hear? That Uchiha abandoned Dan Kato and his team to win the war."

"Murderer…"

"Bastard. Betrayed his own comrades."

"I heard Dan and his team were the ones who defeated Iwa. Then that Uchiha betrayed them to take credit."

"Keep your voice down! He might hear you."

"You monster! Return my son to me!" the woman wailed again, throwing herself forward.

The volume of murmurs swelled.

The Konoha shinobi who returned with Kadoya all froze in disbelief.

"Oi! What the hell are you talking about?! Don't slander my student!" Jiraiya snapped, his usual carefree expression now furious.

"Is this how Konoha treats its heroes?" Orochimaru muttered coldly, his golden eyes narrowing in disdain.

"You all have a death wish!?" Tsunade roared, stomping the ground hard enough to split it, spiderweb cracks exploding beneath her feet.

However, the three Sannin's words fell on deaf ears, as more rumors and gossip rose.

Even Nawaki and Minato, usually the most cheerful, couldn't suppress the killing intent leaking from their bodies.

Kadoya has been fighting beside them, risking his life for the village, yet when he returns, this is the thanks he gets?

Among the crowd, dozens of crimson eyes silently opened.

The Uchiha.

They stood tall, arms crossed or hands on weapons, their presence chilling. They said nothing, but the tension was thick.

They were waiting.

One word from Kadoya, and they'd start killing.

How could they not be furious?

The Uchiha had asked to join the war, but were rejected. Their clan head was sent in their stead, fighting to bring them honor.

Now he returned in victory… only to be spat on.

Konoha was lucky the Uchiha still waited for orders.

It wasn't just the Uchiha; the Konoha shinobi who had returned from the war also wore a furious expression.

Villagers who met the eyes of the returning shinobi shrank back, guilt creeping in. Kadoya Uchiha fought with them, beside them, to protect their home.

He is a war hero just like them. Yet this is how he is treated?

If he could be ridiculed like this.

Who could say that they won't be next?

Seeing Kadoya take off his forehead protector, Tsunade, Orochimaru, Jiraiya, and Sakumo also take off their Konoha forehead protector. The other Konoha shinobi also followed, doing the same.

They have decided to stand beside him instead of letting him face this alone.

It was thanks to his request and sacrifice that many of them were alive and standing now.

Watching this scene play out from the shadows, the one-eyed bandit grew more furious; he had thought that by isolating Kadoya using his brother-sister-in-law. 

Creating enough commotion, having him publicly slandered as a traitor to the Will of Fire. They could easily erase all of his deeds in the war.

While also making the Uchiha look bad in the eyes of the villagers.

But Danzo miscalculated just how many shinobi would be willing to stand alongside Kadoya in this matter. Not just a few but all of them stood beside him.

Kadoya looked down at the wailing woman, his expression unreadable.

Then he smirked.

A massive magenta skeletal hand erupted around him, grabbing the woman and lifting her effortlessly into the air. Gasps and screams broke out; many knew what this was.

Susanoo.

A power that only a handful in history had ever witnessed. Danzo jumped off his seat and fell back. Hiruzen also fell off his Hokage seat, seeing the skeletal arm of Susanoo.

The skeletal fingers tightened, not enough to kill her, but enough to hurt.

"Which village are you from?" Kadoya's voice echoed, amplified with chakra.

He stepped forward, eyes gleaming with Mangekyou, his voice sharp and commanding.

"I am Kadoya Uchiha. A shinobi of Konoha. I fought alongside the people standing behind me right now, in this war against Iwagakure, Sunagakure, and Amegakure. During the operation on Iwa's frontline, at the beginning, I didn't even know which team followed me."

His gaze narrowed.

"So how is it that you, a civilian who didn't fight in this war, know more about it than the shinobi who were actually there?"

The entire plaza went silent. No one dared speak. The pressure radiating from Kadoya was suffocating.

"You're a spy, aren't you?" he accused. Then without waiting for an answer. "Konoha Police Force!"

In an instant, several Uchiha jonin flickered into view, kneeling with heads bowed, doing their best to suppress the eager glint in their eyes.

Kadoya dropped the woman. She hit the ground with a thud. The Susanoo faded into nothing.

"Lock her up. Interrogate her thoroughly. I want to know which village dared infiltrate Konoha, and slander its heroes. I do not want an incident like Kumogakure tried to do months ago, sneaking in to kidnap our people."

"Yes, sir!" the Uchiha jonin responded immediately, seizing the woman and vanishing with a flash of Body Flicker.