Naruto: The Outsider’s Resolve

It was too bright, Takuma thought annoyingly. The light from his bedroom window was painting the backside of his eyelid. And he hated nothing more than to have his sleep ruined by errant light.

'I don't want to get up,' he thought, rolling to his side, and to his delight, the harsh glare of the light vanished. He snuggled into the bed and settled himself into a cozy spot. Perfect for returning to sleep. His smile soon turned into a frown. He had to get up. Sleeping in wasn't an option; Maruboshi didn't take tardiness lightly.

He wondered what they were going to do today? If he knew himself, he knew taijutsu still sat at the top of his inadequacies and needed more spars to improve. And if he knew that, Maruobshi knew better. He could see sparring getting more time in his spar.

'Ugh... when is he going to teach me about chakra!' Takuma groaned. Half of the ten months was already over, and they hadn't even discussed chakra; what is—

Takuma's eyes snapped open as the memories rushed back. It wasn't a typical morning before another routine Maruboshi lesson. The delirious haze from just rousing out of sleep evaporated, leaving behind Takuma's mind filled with nothing but the last memories he could recall. The phantoms of fear, dread, and despair all gripped his heart, and his being suddenly felt like it had been transported back to the field with Maruboshi.

The scene in front of him vaguely caught his attention before the question about his location pushed through his mind. His eyes were about to dart around when he noticed a man with dark blonde hair tied in a ponytail that fell over his shoulder gazing down at him.

He didn't recognize the man. The overwhelming flood of emotions he was feeling was overpowered by an intense burst of surprise, pushed back to the back of his mind, momentarily forgotten.

Takuma immediately rolled in the opposite direction to put some distance between himself and the unknown man. His back left the soft cushioning of the bed and dropped down on the floor, but not without knocking his head against the side table beside the bed. Being crouched on the floor, Takuma pushed himself back while one hand went to the side of his head instinctually.

A torrent of thoughts went through his mind. Who was this man? What was this place? Where was Maruboshi? How long had he been unconscious? He couldn't feel his holsters on his body; he needed to arm himself.

"Takuma."

The single word broke his thoughts as his eyes instinctually went towards the source. Maruboshi stood near the foot of the bed with what looked like worry and joy in his eyes. Seeing him immediately had its effect, and all the nervous tension drained out of Takuma as he eased his muscles and let all of his weight pool down on the floor.

"Sensei," Takuma said breathily.

Maruboshi walked to Takuma and knelt beside him. He put a hand on Takuma's shoulder as he said, "It's okay, child. You fell unconscious in the field. You are at the hospital. This man is an Iryo-nin treating you. You have been unconscious for six days."

A perfect overview of his situation, thought Takuma before the words registered in his mind.

"Six days!" he exclaimed— he had been out almost a week! That was a week of precious time; he could barely afford to spare half a day; just the thought of missing a week made his liver hurt. "What the hell happened?" he asked Maruboshi.

The answer came from the doctor instead. "You had a panic attack," said the man. "A panic attack is a sudden episode of intense fear that triggers severe physical reactions when there is no real danger or apparent cause. Panic attacks can be very frightening. When panic attacks occur, you might think you're losing control, having a heart attack, or even dying..."

Takuma knew what a panic attack was. And the description was literally word-for-word what happened to him.

"... Your mind was exhausted and stressed, beyond what's healthy. When the attack render you unconscious, it strained your tired mind, and it decided to put you into a coma to recover."

"My mind can do that?" Takuma asked, stunned.

"The human mind can do a myriad of things, Takuma," said the man with a smile. "Don't see it as a bad thing. Your body was simply protecting itself when it sensed danger."

Takuma sighed. He couldn't believe he had a panic attack. In his previous life, he never had any health complications; the most he had were coughs, colds, and fevers— things that went away with over-the-counter medication in a couple days without needing any doctor visits. It had been at least a decade since he had visited a doctor, but somehow he ended up in a hospital bed in a coma. The gap was too great.

"I am sorry, young Takuma. This old man will take all the responsibility. It was because of me pushing you that you ended up in such a state," Maruboshi said, his words drowning in grief and blame.

"Rubbish," Takuma immediately replied. "I don't know why he says my mind was exhausted," he pointed at the doctor, "because I never thought I was being pushed or pressured beyond something I couldn't handle. Yes, every day was tough and grueling— but you know what they say: no pain, no gain— I never complained because there was nothing to complain about. It is just my body doing its own thing. You don't have to take any blame, sensei. I don't blame you, so neither should you because it's not your fault."

He was quick to thrash any unnecessary thoughts that Maruboshi might be having. It wouldn't do if Maruboshi thought he couldn't handle the pressure.

The Iryo-nin retrieved a notepad from the side table and wrote on it before handing it to Takuma, who had taken his place on the bed. "You don't need any medication, but you'll need to lighten up on training for at least one week," said the man making Takuma groan. "I have also recommended some changes in diet until you feel back to normal."

Takuma took the doctor's prescription and looked surprised.

"Is something wrong?" Maruboshi asked.

"No, it's just I didn't expect such neat handwriting from a doctor," said Takuma. The words on the prescription were beautiful, to say the least, with a flowing cursive script. So much so that if someone offered it for free, Takuma would consider having the diet plan framed on his kitchen wall.

The ponytailed man chuckled, "I will take that as a compliment. I've worked hard on keeping my scribbles legible. It's a problem if I can't understand my own notes. Now, if you excuse me, I have other commitments I must see to," he finished.

"Of course. Takuma, please thank Doctor Yamanaka for his help," Maruboshi said to Takuma.

Takuma was about to oblige when his brain parsed the entire sentence and pointed out the new piece of information to him.

"Yamanaka!" he exclaimed, looking at the Iryo-nin with startled eyes. "You looked into my mind?" he asked, fearing the answer he would get.

The Yamanaka clan of the village hidden in the leaves was a shinobi clan specializing in the Hiden mind-related jutsu, making them experts at intelligence gathering, espionage, and interrogation, amongst other things. They could read memories, possess bodies, perform telepathy, and possess various other abilities granted by their clan's jutsu.

"I did observe your mind..."

Takuma's breathing quickened as a strong sense of fear and panic, much akin to what had knocked him out, rose from the bottom of his heart. For a transmigrator like him, the status of being a transmigrator was the biggest secret he held. It was the one thing he couldn't let anyone know. For if the secret was leaked, he knew he would end up in a secret facility somewhere, repeatedly interrogated for information. Forever losing his freedom.

In this world, a Yamanaka, like the man in front of him, was his worst enemy— the natural predator. An entire clan of people who could ruin his life beyond repair.

"... but I only observed the morning when you collapsed," said the Yamanaka. "I had experienced what you went through to give a proper diagnosis. And as an Iryo-nin, I have taken an oath to not betray my patients' trust. Whatever I see in my patients' minds will only remain with me. Whatever you feel will remain safe with me— that I promise."

The words of promise didn't make Takuma feel any better. Even if the man was telling the truth and had only seen that one morning, a lingering thought would forever stay in Takuma's mind— what if the man was lying and had seen everything?

"One last thing, I would highly recommend you talk to someone about what you experienced that day," said the mind-reading doctor. "Bottling everything up is not good for health. From my experience, sharing it will help tremendously."

'You just want me to reveal my secrets,' a voice said in Takuma's mind.

Takuma gulped down the bile and nodded to the Yamanaka, "Thank you for helping me," he said. However, there was no sincerity behind it. He couldn't help... all he felt towards the man was fear and aversion.

Yamanaka returned the smile before he left the room. Takuma bowed his head deep down and took deep breaths.

"I feel I have made a mistake again," Maruboshi said from the side. "I should've not accepted Lord Hokage's offer to have a Yamanaka treat you without your consent."

Takuma was surprised yet again. The amount of new information and the intensity he had received in such a short time was far beyond what he ever wanted to get.

"The Hokage was here?" he asked.

"He was indeed here in this room," said Maruboshi with a warm smile. "When I told him that the other healers couldn't find anything wrong with you, he offered to request Doctor Yamanaka to look at you. He even asked me about you and said he would look forward to meeting you when your paths closed."

"O-Oh," Takuma stuttered.

Hokage might have been once a character in a story once, but after living in the world for nearly half a year, he realized that the Hokage was a military leader. He was as high as the president/prime minister of a country. Some ordinary folks like him won't ever get to converse with the Hokage ever. Even if he became a shinobi, it would be a long time before he could have a conversation with the Hokage outside of work.

"It... It's okay," he said. "You were only worried about me. I'm thankful for what you did."

But in truth, he would've preferred if Maruboshi hadn't agreed. Between remaining in a coma and having all his secrets revealed, he a hundred percent favored the former, even if it meant that he lost the gains from the physical training with every progressing day. He could regain muscle through training, but he couldn't make his secrets hidden again.

"If not for you not agreeing, who knows how long it would've taken me to wake up. I don't have the time to waste laying around in bed," said Takuma resolutely. The most precious currency he held right now was time.

Maruboshi furrowed his brows, his old skin wrinkling due to. "You will rest for a week as the doctor suggested. We start after that."

"I am fine—"

"I will be taking this week off and participating in missions. So, you must rest your mind and body in that time."

Takuma opened his mouth to argue but hearing that Maruboshi would not be present for the coming week made his argument dry up. He sighed as he looked outside the window.

"I will rest," he said.

"Good," he heard Maruboshi say. "... Do you wish to talk about what happe—"

"No."

Takuma didn't look towards Maruboshi. He didn't want to talk about it. He still didn't know if he could use chakra, and simply having that thought seated in his head was frightening. The thought of considering talking about it before he was sure made him want to throw up.

It didn't help that it would be at least a week before he could get the answer.

A time that seemed almost too far in the future.

So no... he didn't want to talk,

Or so his heart told him as it beat faster and faster at even the thought of the conversation.

 

 

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