Naruto: The Life Changer

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"Again?" Naruto sighed, "How badly vandalised is it?"

"Every piece of furniture has been smashed to kindling, every wall has rude expletives carved or painted onto their surfaces, all books and scrolls have been urinated upon and every door and window in the apartment has been smashed as well." the other man recited, "Whoever carried this out was very thorough."

"Aw man!" Naruto groaned, "My landlord is gonna be pissed at me for this!"

"Indeed he is, Uzumaki-san." the first man said. He pulled a piece of paper from his pouch and handed it to Naruto, "This is a notice of eviction from your Landlord, effective immediately."

"What?!" Naruto yelped, "Aw man…"

"Naruto-kun, do you have your wallet?" Sarutobi asked, "The police claim it wasn't in the wreckage."

"Gama-chan never goes more than a hands length away from me!" Naruto said as he pulled the toad-design wallet from his pocket.

"Good. That's something at least." Sarutobi nodded before turning his attention to the policemen, "Find out who did this or I'll have a new Military Police Force set up within the next month. Understood?"

"H-Hai, Hokage-sama." the apparent senior man replied shakily before leading his fellow policeman out of the door.

Almost immediately, Naruto's cheerful façade sagged slightly as he leaned back in the chair with another sigh.

"I'll have to go back to the apartment to check if my hidden stash of books and scrolls is among the ruined books." he grumbled.

"Neko, go to Naruto-kun's former apartment and search it for any hidden books or scrolls." Sarutobi ordered, "If you can, try and determine how many people conducted such…disgraceful actions against Naruto-kun."

"Hai, Hokage-sama. I'll depart at once." Neko replied from her hidden position, making Naruto start. He hadn't noticed her entering the room at all. Mentally, he upped his respect for ANBU-level stealth techniques.

"Now then Naruto-kun, this presents me with something of a dilemma, as all rentable accommodations in Konoha have registered a disinclination to rent property to prospective tenants who are victims of a campaign of vandalism and discrimination." Sarutobi said with a sigh.

The actual phrasing of the Landlords Union was 'That Demon Brat isn't getting into our houses!', but Sarutobi saw no reason to tell this to Naruto.

"I can always camp out, Jiji." Naruto suggested, "It would be good practice for fieldwork once I graduate."

Sarutobi blinked at that. Naruto did make a good point, but he was not about to send his surrogate grandson out to a field to pitch a tent if he had any say in the matter.

"An admirable suggestion Naruto-kun, but I believe several of my ANBU would object to such an arrangement, as well as myself." Sarutobi replied diffidently, "As it so happens, there is a block of apartments in my possession that is suited to your needs, but it has not been lived in in a considerable length of time, so it will have to be cleaned first."

"Whereabouts is it?" Naruto asked.

"It's on the edge of the Clan District." Sarutobi replied.

"Oh, you mean the former ANBU HQ." Naruto nodded, prompting three jaws to drop in reaction as Sarutobi and the two remaining ANBU took this in.

"Naruto-kun…do tell how you know that." Sarutobi asked carefully once he had re-attached his jaw.

"It was a secret?" Naruto raised an eyebrow in surprise, "Most people in Konoha can tell where ANBU HQ is by the large amount of suspiciously polite, but firm guards saying 'private residence only' to anybody who goes close to the building despite the 'apartments for rent' sign outside the door."

Sarutobi felt like bashing his head against the oaken surface of his desk at this. "I'll have a word with ANBU Commander Saru about a less obvious cover story. To return to the point, will that building suffice for you?"

"Wait…I get the run of the building?" Naruto asked.

"As nobody lives there, not even a building supervisor, yes." Sarutobi replied, "I have a cleaning crew making the building habitable as we speak, but it will not be ready for a couple of hours."

"Oh. OK." Naruto nodded, "That gives me time to learn the Iwa Bunshin no Jutsu."

"So you have an Earth Affinity?" the old man enquired.

"I'm actually a Primary Wind Affinity, Sub Earth Affinity." Naruto replied.

"A good pair of elements." Sarutobi approved, "Iruka-kun told me you are thinking about buying weapons after graduation?"

"Yeah…a pair of tantō and a kodachi." Naruto replied, "It's going to cost a lot to buy them though. I just hope I'm not on the same team as Sasuke-teme after graduation."

"Oh?" Sarutobi invited Naruto to continue.

"Sasuke-teme doesn't like me much and I don't really like him all that much either." Naruto explained, "And if we're on the same team, we won't get along very well, meaning our Jonin-sensei will probably stick to D-Ranks until we get out teamwork up to scratch…which is to say, never, so It'll take forever to save up enough to buy a half-decent set of weapons."

The Hokage nodded in acknowledgement of his surrogate grandson's point. Teamwork was strongly emphasised throughout the entirety of the Academy and Naruto was far from stupid. He was a bit slow on the uptake sometimes, but he was more than able to put two and two together.

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