Naruto: Snow Cold

"No." My mother said, her arms crossed.

"Mom, please. I need to graduate as soon as I can! I swear I'm more than ready."

I practically was pleading Hikari to let me apply for early graduation and have her fill out the necessary forms.

"Do you even know what kind of life a shinobi has? Your father has told you at least some stories, hasn't he? It doesn't matter how strong, talented or skilled you are. You'll see things you wish you hadn't seen during your time as a shinobi, especially with how timid you are."

My mouth opened to say something, but couldn't bring myself to. I knew she was right, but I'm slowly breaking out of my shell. I'm trying my best here, please.

Her gaze softened for a moment upon seeing my expression, with a hint of understanding in her eyes. She stepped a little closer to me, kneeling to match my height.

She sighed, "Listen, Amai. You're barely on your third year at the academy. Do you really want to rush into something like this without fully understanding the consequences?"

I couldn't help but narrow my eyes. Almost unconsciously, my chin lifted on its own, and I locked eyes with my mother.

Before I had even realized it, the words rushed out of my throat. They were so ridiculous, that even I couldn't believe them myself, despite knowing that it was partly true.

"...I know hell."

Her eyes widened at that, almost doubting me. "Eh?"

I had never once gone against my parents' desires. Always listening to what they told me to do, because adults knew best. They know what's best for you.

Fuck that. I'm tired of getting told what to do and getting pushed around like I don't have a say in my own life. I'm not about to let it be like before.

Screw society. Screw the expectations! Screw this idea that I have to wait for someone else's permission to chase what I want.

"I've seen it." I said, not breaking eye contact with my mother, "I've been in it for a very long time."

This caused her to take a small step back that I barely noticed from the corner of my vision, and her expression shifted slightly in a way I couldn't quite put my finger on—hesitation? Unease? Concern?—nonetheless, the only thing that mattered was that I was winning this debate, whether I was going to graduate early or not.

She quickly regained her composure, and narrowed her eyes at me, almost as if trying to break some kind of facade I wasn't even sure I was wearing.

"Amai..." She scolded in frustration and disbelief. "You don't know what you're saying."

I didn't back down and took a step closer to her, staring my mother down.

"I do know." I said, unwavering. "More than you think."

I wasn't even sure myself—but the void could break apart anyone, even battle-hardened shinobi. It was a form of torture I wouldn't even dare to use on my worst enemies.

It stripped away more than just the senses. That's why even if you made an illusion that erased all five of your sensory perceptions, it just wouldn't be the same.

Because it devoured everything that made reality what it was.

Time, space, connections, your sense of purpose, your emotions would be almost mute, cognitive perception—the lack of stimulation would eventually cause your consciousness to generate that stimulation on its own, in the form of sounds or literally anything else.

I was lucky enough to not break from it. How? I don't know, myself.

This was probably the reason I sometimes heard those voices, or why my mind is so fucked up. I'm not proud of it.

I'd get a therapist, but unfortunately, every single one is part of the Yamanaka clan, and you know how well that would go. I'd rather not get mindfucked by any of them and risk leaking the fact that I'm a reincarnator, or any information of the sort.

The silence stretched on, before she finally grunted in frustration, dragging her hands through her hair.

"You're so damn stubborn," she muttered, shaking her head, "Just like Jun."

...Should I take that as a compliment or as an insult?

"But not in a bad way," She looked back at me, her eyes glossy. "You'll make us both proud, especially him."

"Ah?" I stuttered, caught off guard.

Hikari firmly held onto my shoulders. It felt... strangely weak. I knew I was getting strong, but for this to barely affect me...

"I wouldn't let you take on such a burden this fast, but that look on your face. I've seen it on many people."

Her hand moved, and brushed a few stray locks from my face.

"I'll do it. I'll have Jun fill out those forms for you, and let you take that exam. In exchange..."

My chest tightened at that, unsure of what she was going to ask me.

"In exchange," she repeated, "Take it easy, at least during the probation period. I don't want you to... you know what I mean."

As if I would ever die to some low-life out in the wild. "I understand, mom."

"Good. When you finally have to engage in combat, be it with bandits, raiders, rogue shinobi... Give them hell. Make sure that you're always the one that comes out alive."

I opened my mouth to say something, but before I even said anything, she pulled me in for a bear hug.

In silence, I accepted the embrace.

"Make sure of it, alright?" She whispered into my ear, still holding onto me.

We stayed like that for a few seconds longer, before she finally pulled away.

"I don't know what kind of experiences made you say what you said, or what you've gone through for such a bold statement, but..." She faltered for a moment, "I'm sorry for not being there."

...Now I feel bad.

"You do realize what graduating means, right? You'll technically be considered an adult, in our society's standards. You'll have to mature faster than you'd expect. So, naturally, it's my responsibility to teach you about everything that you don't know."

Oh lord, I know where this is going.

"We'll have a talk, from mother to daughter."

Well, damn.

Let's say I spent quite a while in that room listening to what she had to say. To be honest, it was pretty much what I expected.

She gave me the whole talk about the birds and the bees, told me how my body was going to start developing soon.

Intimate stuff, but yeah. At one point, you have to tell this kind of stuff to your children, whether you like it or not.

I knew all about this, of course. I didn't study so much biology for nothing, after all, and it's not like I was completely ignorant in my past life. Often, I'd use self, uh... I don't have to tell you about that, do I? But to put it simply, I did it sometimes to escape reality. To escape sadness and stress.

Either way, she gave me advice on physical higiene and my health, along with the emotional stuff.

Told me about mood swings, that I shouldn't be surprised if one moment I'm feeling like I'm at the greatest high, and the next I just want to jump off a cliff.

Not literally what she said, but close enough. I could relate, because it sometimes happened to me during high school.

Moments where I just wanted to, well, end it all. When assignments were too overwhelming, or if something heavy was happening—getting into an argument with a family member, trying so hard just to fail at a task...

You get me. I don't need to explain any further.

In the near future, I'll grow. Children develop faster due to chakra, and that probably means puberty will hit earlier than usual—probably not the typical 11 to 13 age range.

I'm getting close to hitting the age of 9, so I'm pretty sure it'll come sooner than I expect.

Apparently, I'll have to get stuck on D-Rank missions for at least a few months, and won't be able to do C-Rank ones for a while, or anything above that. That was my mother's only condition for allowing me to take this exam.

I was happy with that. That just meant more time to be spent getting stronger, and doing chores. All I needed was to use the Shadow Clone for these, and it would easily be done.

Preparation.

I have to get started on that.

I don't know what to expect from this, but I can't deny it—this is a major turning point in my life. I've waited almost nine years for this, and it's finally in my reach.

Almost nine long years of sweat and tears. The breaks I've taken are few, but the grind never stopped.

Ninja life...

HERE I COME!