Naruto: Ren the Sealmaster

Chapter 150: Ch150. Chunin Exams: This shit is so rigged



"How did you know?" Ren curiously asked, slightly breathless after Hinata finally pulled away from the kiss.

Don't get him wrong, he didn't really feel bad about it, and he knew Hinata was not admonishing him for it. He was upfront about the kiss and the surprising feelings he felt toward Konan after their first meeting. He told Hinata and Ino that he was attracted to her, too.

He also explained that he didn't think anything would ever come out of it, because, well, they were on different sides of the conflict. That sounds romantic in a story, but in reality? Such a thing mostly ended in tears for both sides.

Ren believed that in the life of a ninja, there were enough secrets and betrayals to last a lifetime without the need to bring such things into his romantic relationships. He wanted to be sincere with his girls.

Hinata gave Ren a small grin and, with just a touch of smugness, she spoke, "Her lipstick."

"Lipstick?" Ren's eyes slightly widened in surprise, but then his forehead creased as he tried to figure out how that could tell her anything.

He had to admit Konan had a good-looking and very tasty lipstick. He liked the blueberry taste. But he had kissed Konan yesterday, and since then, he had a shower, washed his face three times, and had several drinks. There should not be any lipstick residue or aftertaste after all that.

"Yes." Hinata mirthfully confirmed, enjoying Ren's puzzlement. Alas, she was not cruel enough to let him helplessly flail around after the answer and decided to simply be upfront. "It is poisonous. You have the same slight traces of poison in the tissue of your lips as you did the last time you came from Amegakure."

"The cougar tried to poison Ren!?" Ino instantly exclaimed when she heard that and stopped enjoying her comfortable cuddle into Ren's side for the moment.

"... Ah." Ren was taken aback a bit. That was news to him. Of all the things to miss, he had never thought that Konan would be wearing poisonous lipstick. "Really? I haven't noticed." He awkwardly stated and scratched the back of his head in discomfort.

Hinata shrugged, "I would be surprised if you did. I have already tweaked both of your bodies to be highly poison-resistant." She off-handedly said as if she hadn't just casually admitted to messing with their biology without their consent or knowledge.

Ren opened his mouth, but then closed it, finding nothing to say to that. He was not angry that she had done it. He was just slightly peeved she had never mentioned it.

But he knew that on some level, the fault lay with him and his teachings. He would have to sit Hinata down and give her a talking to about pulling Orochimaru on him and Ino without their knowledge. Because that was seriously not cool.

It made him feel a bit uncomfortable.

The thing that bothered him the most, however, was...

"When? I don't think I have ever noticed you playing with my body?" And wasn't that exasperating? Hinata tweaked his biology, and he had no idea for months.

A small shudder went down Ren's spine. His previously timid Hyuga had become a very good medical ninja if she had managed to pull that off. Such a thing would take serious levels of skill.

"What he said." Ino quipped in, also giving Hinata a bit guarded, half-lidded stare that made the Hyuga girl squirm a bit.

"Well, I think I played with your body many times while I had your undivided attention-" Hinata tried to play it off with a joke, but Ren wouldn't let her.

"Hina." He firmly said, making Hinata bite her lower lip for a moment, realizing that she was not going to get out of answering here.

Her face flushed once more, and she let out a small, embarrassed giggle. "Alright." She reluctantly spoke, "I've done it during sex some months ago. I am not surprised you haven't noticed. You were a bit preoccupied slamming your hips into my posterior and filling me up at the time."

By the time she was finished speaking, her embarrassed giggle turned into an amused and teasing smile because both Ren and Ino were trying to pull off a convincing imitation of a tomato.

For Ren, that genuinely took him off guard, but he recovered very quickly. He wasn't ashamed of their nightly activities and neither was he afraid to pinch Hinata's butt in retribution, which earned him an exasperated look from the girl.

Ino, however, dryly spoke when she regained control of her embarrassment. "On a second thought, I don't need to know when-"

Feeling a bit vindictive due to the pinch and finding Ino an easy target to vent her frustration, Hinata decided to interrupt her and say it anyway, "Well, I was full and you have a very nimble tong-"

Ino quickly covered Hinata's mouth with her palm, rolling her eyes at Hinata. "I don't want to know, bitch." She huffed, knowing that now that Hinata knew that she found it embarrassing, the girl was going to tease the hell out of her with it.

It was how their sisterly bond worked, and it was only fair. Ino had to admit she would have done the same thing. The only reason why she was upset was that it wasn't she who got such juicy blackmail first.

Amused at the by-play between girls, Ren gave Hinata a cheeky smirk before he whispered to her, "We gotta repeat that experience sometime soon, then." He pecked her forehead as her cheeks flushed a bit, and an excited smile appeared on her face.

He then turned toward Ino and pecked her on the lips. "You, too, Ino. We can verify the nimbleness of your tongue again." He chuckled when her face scrunched at that.

"Moh. What is it today? Bully Ino day?" Ino sullenly complained, making Ren laugh as he pulled her back into a one-armed hug.

"Every day is bully Ino day, sweetheart."

"Ass." Ino fondly chuckled.

"Yes, you have a very nice ass, Ino." Ren remarked, making Ino let out an exasperated whine as she buried her face into his shoulder.

He decided to count that as his win.

But before they could continue with their banter, they were interrupted by the sound of a clearing of the throat behind them. Turning a bit, Ren noticed that both Asuma and Kurenai approached them alongside the remainder of their teams during their very mature discussion and wanted to speak with them.

Ren quickly disengaged the privacy seal that covered them, making their words uneligible to anybody listening in, just as the girls, with unhappy noises, pulled away from him and turned around to face their Jonin instructors.

"Hinata, you are making a spectacle," The irritated Kurenai reproachfully said before Hinata could utter a word, only for Ino to snort.

"Somebody is jealous." Ino cheekily fired back in Hinata's defense, getting a glare from Kurenai and an awkward cough from Asuma, who really looked like he wanted to be anywhere but here.

Ren could understand. He felt the same the second the three women started speaking. As a male, he instinctively knew this was not going to end well if he let it go on.

He was about to interject when a very loud and passionate shout interrupted them.

"YOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUTH!"

That turned the entire atmosphere between Ino, Hinata, and Kurenai awkward.

Ren saw Asuma opening his mouth, when...

"YYYYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUTHHHHH!" An even louder shout from a much younger voice resounded through the room, causing many people to turn toward Team Guy and give them very dry, deadpan looks, much to Neji and Tenten's embarrassment.

Asuma closed his mouth, mumbling, "Never mind." before he lazily leaned against the railing, waiting for the preliminary rounds to start.

Ren glanced at the three women who still had their silent stare off, and shook his head, leaving them to it as he imitated Asuma and also leaned on the railings.

He looked across the arena, scanning the people there with his eyes, even passing over the disguised Orochimaru and resisting the urge to eye roll at the man.

His eyes stopped on Gaara, who was giving him a very intense look.

Finding it amusing, Ren grinned at him and mouthed, 'Hello, Panda-chan.'

His amusement spiked alongside the killing intent on a low simmer, filling the room. He had no idea why, but messing with Gaara was simply fun and relaxing. He might be expressionless, but he had the best reactions.

Ren didn't dwell on Gaara for long, though. His eyes started looking through the people on his side of the arena, at least until he ended up looking at Sasuke and inwardly winced at the sight of the boy grasping at his neck, visibly in pain.

He could have prevented that. But he deliberately did not.

He felt bad about it.

But it was for the Greater Good!

... And now, after admitting that, he felt even worse about it.

He simply wanted to examine the Cursed Seal. He could not approach Anko. That would have sent many alarm bells through some higher-ups. The Konoha upper echelons did not actually want the seal to be studied. They did not want somebody to recreate it.

And Danzo probably worried that if somebody could counter Orochimaru's Cursed Seal, then they could counter his Cursed Seal, too.

It was partially a reason why Anko was not helped. They let only Jiraiya work on it and with all due respect, Jiraiya would rather masturbate while peeking on bathing women or go to a whorehouse than put in the effort into cracking Anko's seal.

Especially since it didn't look like the seal was affecting Anko that much.

Anko was simply shit out of luck.

Theoretically speaking, if she approached Ren with a request for him to look at the seal and try to resolve it, he might be able to do it without repercussions. But he also suspected that the woman had received a direct order not to approach other people knowledgeable in sealing arts.

Jiraiya was not the only person who knew his seals in Konoha. Too many of Ren's senior colleagues in the Barrier Corps complained about not getting permission to study the seal, and Anko had never approached even one of them of her own volition.

Ren refused to believe there wasn't more to it. He knew how much Anko wanted that seal off her body.

But with Sasuke, it was easier. Sasuke was known to be his friend. Maybe a distant one, but a friend nonetheless. Ren could take a look at the seal, claiming that it was just his concern for a friend.

Besides, he did put a lot of thought into this. He wondered for a long time if he should allow it to happen. But it all came to the same problem. If Sasuke was not marked by Orochimaru in the Forest of Death, then Orochimaru would have sought the boy out for the disappointingly short sucking session somewhere else.

And if it was an inevitable outcome anyway because Orochimaru would not let such a juicy prize as Sharingan go, then it was much safer for this to happen in a controlled environment.

It was sad, but that was just how it was. Sasuke getting his hickey was inevitable.

Ren's musings were interrupted as the proctor announced the names of the first participants to fight.

"Uchiha Sasuke versus Midare!"

'Who?' Ren wondered for a moment, until he saw one boy from Team Shigure move toward the stairs just as Sasuke appeared in the arena, impatiently waiting for his opponent with that trademark annoyed Uchiha glare.

Sage, he looked like a constipated duck!

Sighing, Ren observed the Midare boy, and he had to say he was a tad disappointed. Body language, demeanor, the way he moved, there were a lot of things that ninjas learned to observe to tell things about their targets.

And from what Ren was seeing, the Midare boy was a genin. Maybe a skilled genin, but a genin nonetheless. He was the weakest genin in the room, maybe outside of Sakura. And if Ren, who did not focus on reading people, could make that guess, then Hokage's ninjas definitely could do it, too.

"Sasuke is going to mop the floor with that boy. It's not even going to be even a contest." Hinata suddenly said from next to Ren, who only nodded with a hum.

She would know best. She had the chakra-seeing eyes. She could see their chakra and compare how big and developed it was. It might not be a completely accurate way to judge somebody's capabilities, but it provided a very effective rough estimate.

Ren wryly smiled, shaking his head. Because, naturally, Konoha could not afford to have the last phase of the Chunin Exams without Sasuke Uchiha in it. He inwardly let out a helpless laugh.

'This shit is so rigged.'

---

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