Naruto: Reborn as Sakura with Manyuu Chifusa Template

"Severe thermoelectric trauma," Sakura muttered to herself, as she hovered over the unconscious bodies of Sasuke and Lee laid out on the floor. "I prescribe… one spoonful of curry of life each!"

"That doesn't sound very scientific," said Tenten, looking over Sakura's shoulder. "Why don't you use the Mystical Palms Jutsu?"

Sakura gave Tenten a strange look.

"Because I haven't learned it yet?" said Sakura, wincing slightly as she shrugged her shoulders. "We keep going on missions, so I haven't really had any time to seek out Lady Tsunade for training…"

"Oh," said Tenten sheepishly. "My mistake… I haven't managed to learn it yet, either…"

In the original timeline, Sakura would have already been studying Medical Ninjutsu day in and day out with Tsunade at this point, but since Team 7 hadn't broken up, they kept being sent on missions to fill in for all the Leaf shinobi killed during the Konoha Crush, making it impossible for her to get any training done…

'We deserve a vacation,' moaned Inner Sakura. 'I wanna show off our beach body and check out—'

"I do have some ointment in my first-aid kit, though," said Sakura, clumsily rummaging in her pockets with her left hand. "There! Burn salve— let's see— best used before… oh. Well, I'm sure it'll still work just fine…"

Meanwhile, Ranmaru was busy recounting his sob story to Naruto— how Raiga had almost executed him for no reason other than his stupidity, how he had then convinced him to adopt him, how together, they had escaped from the dystopian Land of Water and the Mist's Hunter-nin…

"That's so sad, ya know!" Naruto bawled, blowing his nose into a handkerchief. "It's like Haku's story, only—" Naruto blinked, his eyes widening in realization. "— hang on, it's the exact same as Haku's! That's so lazy! What's with the plagiarism, ya know!?"

"Sadly, such things are all too common in the Land of Water," said Haku sadly. "Kekkei Genkai clans being hunted down, I mean. I can't imagine there would be too many members of the Seven Ninja Swordsmen of the Mist who would take children under their wings…"

Incidentally, Haku was bound from head to foot with what little remained of Sasuke's steel wire— to conserve her chakra, Sakura had dispelled her Genjutsu from him. Even though he was all trussed up, including his fingers, Sakura didn't dare take her eyes off him— Haku had already surpassed Zabuza in strength, and all shinobi were phenomenal escape artists…

"The curry of life is ready!" Granny Sanshō called out from the neighbouring room. "Eat it while it's hot!"

Karashi emerged from the kitchen, carrying steaming plates of pitch-black curry over white rice. Just looking at the infernal concoction made Sakura's eyes sting— just how many hot peppers had they put in this curry?

Suddenly, Rock Lee's eyes snapped open, and he sat up straight, sniffing at the air like a dog. Nearly instantly zeroing in on the source of the eye-watering smell, Lee's head swivelled towards Karashi, who immediately broke out in cold sweat at the sight of the Blue Beast of the Leaf.

"CURRY!" shouted Lee, launching himself at Karashi and sliding an entire plateful of curry down his throat in an instant. "…DELICIOUS!"

The curry of life's effectiveness was truly off the charts— Lee had merely caught a whiff of it, and that had been enough to wake him up. Encouraged by his miraculous rebirth, Sakura grabbed a plate and a spoon from Karashi, before heading over to the unconscious Sasuke.

"Here comes the aeroplane," said Sakura, stuffing a spoonful of the pungent mixture into Sasuke's mouth. "Right, those don't exist here… I think."

Filled with anticipation, Sakura watched as Sasuke's face gradually regained some colour— from a deathly pale, he graduated to a rosy pink, and then to a radioactive red…

Suddenly, Sasuke's eyes flew open— he sat up, belched out a gout of flame, and then, his eyes rolling back in his head, he fell over backwards, steam escaping from his ears. He was definitely unconscious.

'You killed him, you bitch!' screamed Inner Sakura. 'You did that on purpose!'

"Maybe a second spoonful will do the trick?" said Sakura uncertainly. "Open up, Sasuke-kun…"

'Stop, stop!' Inner Sakura bawled. 'He's already dead!'

But just as Sakura was about to lower a second spoonful of curry into his mouth, Sasuke's hand shot out, grabbing her wrist and stopping her spoon in its tracks.

"No more…!" Sasuke wheezed, cracking open an eye. "…milk…!"

"Ah."

A second aeroplane had hit Sasuke's twin towers— unused to performing delicate tasks with her non-dominant hand and not expecting Sasuke to grab her out of the blue, Sakura had accidentally spilled a bit of the extra-spicy curry onto his eyes…

"MY EYES!" Sasuke howled in pain, as he rolled all over the floor, holding his face. "MY EYEEES!"

"I'm so sorry, Sasuke!" Sakura gasped. "I didn't mean to do that!"

The thread of prophecy had been severed in the stupidest way possible— by blinding the Indra incarnation with spicy curry, Sakura had doomed her world to ruin… or not.

A few minutes later, right outside the shop…

"Are you sure you're okay?" asked Sakura worriedly, fussing over Sasuke, who was bent over a rain collection barrel. "How many fingers am I holding up?"

"I'm fine," Sasuke snapped. "Just keep your accident-prone fingers away from my eyes."

"Just answer the question," Sakura insisted.

Sasuke squinted his bloodshot eyes— all he could see was a large grey blob holding up a smaller grey blob. Maybe a milk bath for his eyes would do the trick…?

"Seven," Sasuke randomly guessed, before turning on his heel and stalking away in a huff— straight into the Curry of Life Shop's outhouse.

Sakura stared at her two extended fingers in dismay— she had blinded Sasuke, and it was all her fault! That left only three team members in fighting shape: Naruto, Tenten, and maybe Lee…

She couldn't leave them to fight two elite Jōnin and an army on their own, which meant that she had to find some way to heal her arm as fast as possible. The curry of life would help, but she would first have to reset her broken bones carefully— if they didn't heal right, she would have to get her arm broken again so that her bones could be put back together correctly!