Naruto, Madara is my girl.

Looking at the familiar old friend laughing uncontrollably, Sarutobi Hiruzen stood stiffly in place, unable to understand what was happening around him.

"Hokage… what's happening? Who's Akira…?" The question came from one of the girls behind him.

Tobirama didn't answer. He stared at Akira with narrowed eyes. He hadn't even recognized the body immediately, let alone expected to hear that name come out of the reanimation's mouth.

(T/N: the mc's changes names, it was first Qianxing and now its changed to Hu Hansan, i made the creative decision to not change the mc's name as to not confuse the readers, if the characters are confused about Akira's name, just imagine its a different or someshit.. cause it isn't brought up anymore..)

(T/N2: turns out it was just a chinese meme about a guy named Hu Hansan coming back from something...)

Before he could dispel the technique and undo what he assumed was some kind of mistake, Akira stopped laughing and turned toward him with pinpoint attention.

"Tobirama, that's you?" Akira's tone slid from amused to knowing in seconds. "Looks like you've been backed into some tight corner. Let me guess the [Thunder alliance], right?"

Every girl in Tobirama's squad tensed up. That name hadn't been used since before the village era, back when Konoha was just smoke and ambition. "Thunder Alliance" was the early name for what would become Hidden Cloud Village, and its betrayal during the Raikage-Hokage alliance talks after the war was covered in every academy book as turning-point history.

And here was this man, dead for over ten years, knowing everything from context alone. (T/N: Okay i'm from the future (currently translating chapter 85)..... the author fucked up the timeline by alot... just treat this 10 years timeskip as a... "suggestion".. cause tsunade is alread a kid by now and shit like that, the author really fucked up the timeline... unless i missed a timeskip this should be the only timeskip... if in the future chapter between this and like 85 contain a timeskip, please tell me... i could also just forgot about a timeskip cause trust me, the author may be a good writer but chinese is still chinese.. the brain damage is real..)

"Is this what the God of War was really like...?" someone whispered behind Sarutobi Hiruzen, low enough he almost didn't catch it.

Tobirama heard it too but stayed silent. He wanted to scold them for being so easily impressed, but how could he, when he himself was standing there unable to see through anything Akira had said? This man-this bastard-could always cut straight to the core.

Akira's smile faded, and he looked to Tobirama again with that same edge in his tone.

"I'll make this easy, I know you've run out of options."

Tobirama drew in breath slowly but didn't argue. Even though he knew he was wrong to reanimate this man, he wasn't about to lose control either. What he needed now wasn't brute strength, it was Akira's mind, intact and focused. That's why he hadn't activated full control over the reanimation, not because he wasn't capable, but because muddling Akira's thoughts would make him no good to anyone.

"No point explaining," Akira said suddenly. "You're dead."

Sarutobi Hiruzen stepped forward immediately in alarm. "Wait, Master Akira! Lord Hokage wasn't trying to-"

"Hold on…"

Akira raised one hand and scanned the group slowly-expression shifting as realization set in. Every person standing there besides Tobirama and Sarutobi was female. He tilted his head and raised his eyebrows before looking straight at Tobirama again.

"Tobirama… are you training disciples or building yourself a harem? How are you single with that lineup?"

Tobirama's face darkened instantly. "They're my students."

Akira raised one hand and gestured vaguely to the group without blinking. "His harem?"

Sarutobi coughed in embarrassment.

"Picking on kids now? You've changed... or haven't." Akira grunted, then turned his attention to Sarutobi Hiruzen with squinted eyes. "You're Sarutobi Hiruzen?"

"Yes sir-uhhh.., I'm Hiruzen," Sarutobi answered quickly with both hands behind his back, trying not to look nervous as sweat dotted his temple. "They're my classmates, lord Akira."

"Alright then." Akira smiled wide enough to show teeth. "Damn Monkey, you grew up thick as hell. Took me a second to recognize you."

Sarutobi laughed nervously while scratching his head.

Akira fell back into silence for only two seconds before his eyes jumped toward the students one by one. "Kagami Uchiha… Mito Kado En… Akimichi Tofu… Danzo… and Madara…" He squinted again at the last name, eyebrows dipping slightly in thought. "There's too much gender-bending weirdness for this to be random."

Tobirama finally had enough and stepped forward sharply. "I didn't bring you back here for jokes and speculation!"

"And if we don't ask questions, we're supposed to say what then?" Akira shrugged hard enough that his shoulders rolled up beneath his coat. "Let's assume Hokage means the village is already built right? If you're Hokage now, that means Hashirama is dead. So Monkey over here and these girls? They're just unlucky. No brains, no strength, ambushed in open ground? Their deaths are expected."

Tobirama clenched his fists but didn't speak as Akira stared directly into him again.

"So, where's my Madara?"

Gasps sounded instantly across the space that separated the two groups. The possessiveness in that question-the casual admission, left several girls exchanging stunned looks.

Even Tobirama flinched slightly before sighing low through his nose. "She left not long after we founded the village."

"Oh?" Akira raised one eyebrow slightly before nodding slowly. "Figures."

Tobirama wanted to argue, but didn't bother wasting words.

"Is there any way?" he asked instead after another moment passed, tightness creeping into his tone now as everyone watched with unblinking focus.

"Yes," came the answer instantly. "I have one."

"For serious?" Sarutobi nearly stumbled forward out of surprise, not expecting confidence from someone who hadn't even been around for two decades.

"What's so hard about it?" Akira flexed his neck side to side before looking straight ahead again coolly. "Option one, you use Tobirama as bait and have everyone else escape safely; option two, you run together but die here like fools."

"That isn't even advice!" Danzo snapped suddenly from her spot near the edge of their group. "Hokage summoned you to help save us, not insult us!"

Akira pointed directly at her through the crowd and then turned back toward Tobirama smoothly without hesitation.

"This girl talks way too much for someone this wrongheaded. You sure she's your next Hokage pick?"

Tobirama slid his eyes away from Danzo entirely-and focused on Sarutobi instead.

"I'll be the bait."

"Hokage-sama!" Danzo broke out louder than everyone else-even leaping forward half-step until Akira waved her off with exaggerated motion again.

"Forget what I said earlier, i take it back," he announced openly while gawking at her again in disbelief. "Too stupid to be Hokage material obviously."

"You…!"

Danzo started again-but this time Tobirama spun toward her sharply with narrowed eyes.

"Danzo, shut up."

Silence fell again fast, and Akira stepped up beside Sarutobi smoothly with one hand clapping his shoulder twice in quick succession.

"Well Monkey, i always knew you'd take that hat someday." He grinned slightly at Sarutobi's stunned expression then added, "Don't look so surprised, isn't this what you wanted?"

Sarutobi stared helplessly at the floor for several seconds before gathering himself again under pressure, and giving the faintest respectful bow toward both mentors standing next to him now.

Akira grunted once and looked back out over the rest of the group gathered around them.

"You too." He gave them each pointed glances with narrowed eyes. "Monkey gets promoted, you lot get promotions too by default now right? Come on-smile or whatever."

Before anyone could answer-Tobirama stepped between them briskly and waved one hand dismissively toward Akira without turning around fully to face him.

"That's enough."

Akira lifted both hands instantly and mimed zipping his own lips shut with dramatic flair.

Finally, quiet returned long enough for Tobirama to face his students properly one last time.

"Go," he told them clearly but tightly. "I don't have time, and that man won't hurt you if you're mine."

Akira chuckled as his eyes followed them past him down the path they came from. He waved casually with both hands and called out loud enough for everyone left in earshot to hear-

"How else do you climb ranks if Tobirama doesn't die here? Move it-I'm not blocking drama for free today!"

It should've been heavy-it should've hurt-but somehow… it didn't feel that way at the end.

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