Naruto: I Am Uzumaki Naruto!?

Outside the door of a small, run-down apartment, Sarutobi Hiruzen and Hatake Kakashi stood with furrowed brows.

"Is Naruto not home?" Hiruzen muttered, stroking his beard.

But after listening carefully, he could hear faint footsteps inside. Someone was definitely there.

After a brief pause, Hiruzen gave the order. "Kakashi, open the door."

Kakashi nodded respectfully. He stepped forward, and with some unknown method, the door clicked open.

The next second—

"GO TO HELL!!!"

A loud yell came from inside, and in the blink of an eye, a basin of liquid came flying toward them.

SPLASH!

The two outside were drenched from head to toe.

Sarutobi Hiruzen: "..."

Kakashi: "..."

Naruto quickly took a few steps back, avoiding any splashback onto himself. Even he had underestimated the destructive power of his own "biochemical weapon."

This pot of instant noodle soup had been fermenting for an untold amount of time, reaching an unholy level of potency. The stench alone could knock someone out. It was like a mop soaked in sewage—something no amount of washing could erase from memory.

Feigning surprise, Naruto gasped dramatically and looked toward the door.

"Eh!? Hokage-sama? Kakashi-sensei? What are you guys doing here?"

Sarutobi Hiruzen: "..."

Kakashi: "..."

The two stood frozen, their expressions stiff as they stared at the unholy mixture dripping from their bodies—half-rotten noodle chunks, fermented broth, insect corpses, and some unidentifiable floating bubbles.

Then—

"Urghhh!"

Kakashi couldn't hold it in. Gripping the doorframe, he bent over and vomited on the spot.

"Naruto!!!"

Hiruzen's enraged voice echoed through the apartment.

Without wasting another second, the old Hokage disappeared in a blur, dashing straight to the bathroom.

Naruto sat on his chair with an innocent smile, watching the bathroom door with great interest.

A while later, two figures emerged.

Sarutobi Hiruzen and Kakashi looked like they had just survived a natural disaster. Their faces were dark, their skin red from excessive scrubbing, and their expressions were a mix of exhaustion and pure regret.

Yet, despite their best efforts, a lingering stench still clung to them.

"Naruto Uzumaki!!!"

Hiruzen's voice was filled with barely suppressed fury.

"Care to explain what just happened?"

When they first arrived, he had noticed Naruto throwing something but had assumed it was harmless. After all, Naruto was just a kid—what kind of damage could he possibly do?

Now, he wanted nothing more than to go back in time and slap his past self.

This wasn't just soup. This was a biohazard.

This stuff had definitely been sitting there for half a year at least!

Naruto, looking extremely apologetic, bowed his head slightly. "I'm really sorry, Hokage-sama! I thought you were some thugs coming to beat me up! I got scared and, um… I panicked."

Sarutobi Hiruzen: "..."

Kakashi: "..."

They had been mistaken for thugs? And Naruto had defended himself with this—this weapon of mass destruction?!

Taking a deep breath, Hiruzen forcefully suppressed his frustration, putting on his usual grandfatherly tone. "Forget it. What's done is done."

Then, his expression hardened.

"But Naruto…"

He fixed the boy with a stern gaze. "Kakashi told me that you got into a fight with some other kids and robbed them. Is that true?"

Naruto nodded without hesitation.

"Yeah. But I only fought them to protect Hinata."

Hiruzen frowned. "Even so, why did you take their money? It's wrong to attack others, but it's just as wrong to steal from them."

"You dream of becoming Hokage one day, don't you? A Hokage protects the weak—he doesn't bully them!"

His voice was sharp, his gaze heavy with authority.

Naruto, however, was completely unfazed. Instead, he clenched his fists and looked down, his voice full of grievance.

"Because… I don't have enough to eat."

Silence.

Hiruzen and Kakashi were caught off guard.

They had expected excuses, denials, maybe even some clever retort—but not this.

Such a simple, straightforward answer.

Hiruzen's expression shifted slightly. "But the village provides you with living expenses every month, doesn't it?"

Kakashi nodded in agreement.

Naruto lowered his head further. His voice was quiet, yet each word carried weight.

"It's not enough. No one wants to sell me anything. The rice I buy is mixed with sand, the vegetables are rotten. I can only eat Ichiraku ramen."

"I eat ramen three times a day. And I have to buy necessities too… The money just isn't enough."

Hiruzen's face burned with shame.

This was the last thing he wanted Naruto to say. Especially in front of Kakashi.

He had purposefully kept Naruto's allowance low, wanting the boy to struggle. Then, he could swoop in like a benevolent savior, making Naruto dependent on him.

But hearing Naruto lay it out so plainly, with Kakashi as a witness… Hiruzen wanted to dig a hole and hide inside it.

Forcing himself to remain calm, he let out a slow breath and asked in a seemingly gentle tone, "Naruto, what kind of necessities are you talking about?"

Naruto's lips pressed into a thin line. Then, in a voice laced with quiet frustration, he listed them off.

"Windows, tape, bandages, gauze, disinfectant…"

Hiruzen and Kakashi blinked.

"Windows?"

"That's a necessity?"

Naruto's expression darkened.

"People smash my windows at night. When I walk down the street, they throw rocks at me. I need tape and bandages for when that happens."

His voice was eerily calm. Not seeking pity, not looking for sympathy—just stating facts.

And that made it even worse.

This wasn't an exaggeration. This wasn't a lie.

This was his normal.

Hiruzen felt a rare pang of guilt, while Kakashi's eye sharpened with quiet anger.

Naruto Uzumaki.

The son of Minato Namikaze, the Fourth Hokage.

And yet, the village treated him worse than a stray dog.

Rats crossing the street got more mercy.

And Konoha called itself the Will of Fire?

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