My new life in Hell

(Geri POV)

I was currently in the hotel's private dining hall eating breakfast with everyone. Dad was eating some stir-fried mice, Mom was eating pancakes with maple syrup and strawberry and blueberry toppings, Mother was eating some machaca con huevos, Plagg was eating an entire cheese wheel, and Beth was eating a big bowl of her favorite salad.

As for me, I was eating chicken curry that had a bit of spice. We all ate at the same table and were talking about what we were all going to be doing for family game night this week.

As we were talking about plans, we heard a loud honking sound and a very loud imp screaming into a megaphone.

"Geri, get your furry ass down here! We're here to pick you up!"

Everyone looked at me, a bit confused about who that was.

I sighed and told them that was my boss and that it looked like he wanted to pick me up this time.

Mom smiled and asked me if he wanted to join us for breakfast.

I politely told Mom that there's no need. I got up from the chair I was sitting on and placed my plate in the sink.

I cleaned up a bit and said goodbye.

I went out of the hotel and greeted Blitzo.

"Morning, Blitz."

"Good fucking morning to you too! Now get in the van!"

I got in the van and saw Luna, Moxxie, and Millie already there, doing their own thing.

Luna was on her phone, Moxxie and Millie were talking with each other, and Blitzo... well, he was driving the van and playing Mustang Dong on repeat.

We drove for half an hour until we finally reached the building. As Blitzo was going to park, a pink Chevy convertible cut us off and parked in our only parking spot.

Blitzo then saw the plate number and started to go off.

Blitzo: "Oh, you 'suck for life,' do ya?!"

Blitzo pulls out a megaphone and yells into it.

Blitzo: "Listen up, you unoriginal pink cum dump! You have three goddamn seconds to get your tits out of my parking spot!"

The passenger steps out of her front car seat in high heels. Blitzo lowers the megaphone, shocked.

Blitzo: "Oh, shit! Verosika!"

Verosika blows a bubble of pink gum before it pops.

Verosika: "Blitz-o."

Blitzo: "I should have known you'd be here. I could smell fish for miles, which is odd, because I believe the nearest ocean is..."

Blitzo falls and faceplants onto the ground before standing up.

Blitzo: "...three Rings DOWN!"

Verosika: "And I should have known you'd be here when I heard the amber alerts."

Blitzo: "Oh yeah? I'm surprised they let your fat ass outta rehab. I can see you're still a drunken whore, clutching onto that Beelzejuice bottle like it's the last cock in Hell!"

Verosika flips her long hair back dramatically.

Verosika: "They let me out because I'm still famous. And rehab is for sad, loser wash-ups."

Verosika takes a drink from her bottle and wipes her mouth with her thumb.

Verosika: "So, your sister says 'Hi.'"

Blitzo angrily steps in front of Verosika.

Blitzo: "Why are you parking here?! This is the ONLY parking spot my company has! So take your tampon race car somewhere else!"

Verosika: "Actually, prick. It has my name on it."

Verosika points down to her name written in purple spray paint by their feet. I.M.P. is crossed out on the ground.

Verosika: "I'm doing a bit of freelance for one of the infinitely more successful companies in the building..."

Verosika: "...and they wanted to have me come in this week to lead their team during spring break."

Blitzo: "A WEEK?! No, no, you are NOT parking here for a fuckin' week!"

Verosika: removes her sunglasses "Awww, you mad, Blitz-o? You gonna run off, leaving someone else to pay for the hotel room, steal their car, and run..."

Blitzo and Verosika: "...run three rings to Wrath and max MY credit cards on shitty horse riding lessons?!"

Blitzo: "Goddamn it, whore, you will NOT let that go!"

Verosika: "Choke on a sandpaper cock."

Verosika flips him the bird and walks away while Luna fearfully lowers her head in the van.

Blitzo follows Verosika.

Blitzo: "HOLD ON! You better move that pussy wagon right now, or I'm gonna..."

A towering muscular female Hellhound appears behind Blitzo and growls.

Hellhound: "You'll what?"

"Or I'll call HR!"

They all laughed together and got back to business.

Verosika: "Anyways, meet my new Hellhound, Maelstrom. Unlike you, she actually does her job well."

Verosika turns to leave.

Verosika: "Ta-ta, fuck stain."

Blitzo, not wanting to be showed up, called for me.

Blitzo: "Geri, get your furry ass down here now and help me!"

Reluctantly, I got out of the van and walked toward Blitzo.

Verosika and Maelstrom turned around and saw me walking toward them.

Maelstrom's eyes widened as she saw me approach.

Blitzo: "Geri, attack!"

Me: "I'm not going to hurt them, Blitz."

Blitzo: "Ah, you're no fun."

I sighed and walked closer to them to apologize.

Me: "I'm really sorry about Blitz's behavior. He's not usually like this."

Verosika looked at me and then spoke.

Verosika: "Well, at least someone has manners, unlike that asshole over there. And as a token of appreciation, I won't be suing him for harassment later."

She turned around and left, but the Hellhound girl just stared.

Me: "Um… hello?" I waved at her awkwardly.

Her face suddenly turned bright red, and she ran toward Verosika.

I looked at her, a bit confused, and walked back to Blitzo, who was looking a bit annoyed.

Blitzo: "Ughh, I can't believe I wasted so much time on a bag of holes like her."

Me: "She seemed… nice?"

Blitzo: "Oh, don't be fooled, Geri. Women like that ain't worth your time. Especially her."

Then suddenly the van door flung open and everyone bombarded Blitzo with questions: how did they meet, how did he date someone like her?

Blitzo, as always, changed the subject and told Millie to find another parking spot while the rest of us confronted Verosika about the parking spot she stole.

As we all entered the elevator, Luna looked a bit mad.

Me: "Hey, you doing okay?"

Luna: "Yeah, just that... that other Hellhound girl. I don't like her."

Me: "Don't worry. So long as I'm here, nothing bad's gonna happen."

She smiled and leaned closer to me in the elevator. I blushed slightly and kicked the thought down.

What were you doing, Geri? You have a girlfriend. And besides, Luna's just a good friend.

When we finally reached our floor, Blitzo immediately noticed that Verosika's office was just across from our own.

This, of course, made him pissed.

Blitzo: "Hey! Where's your bitch of a boss?!" he yelled at the Hellhound girl.

Maelstrom: "She's inside the studio right now."

Blitzo angrily stomped toward the doors.

The female Hellhound then turned to me.

Maelstrom: "Um... hey."

Me: "Hey."

She just stood there for a few seconds, then quickly walked away, looking in the opposite direction.

Luna squinted her eyes at the girl before walking off with me.

As we reached the door, Blitzo was about to bust through and cause a scene, but fortunately, Moxxie insisted that he would go first to keep things civil.

No more than 30 seconds later, Moxxie came out running, covered in black lipstick and a lot of hickies and bite marks.

He then proceeded to pass out on his face.

Blitzo: "Oh, this won't stand!" he yelled.

He then busted through the doors but just as quickly got sent back out by the same doors slamming into his face.

He got back in, this time like a normal demon.

Blitzo: "Alright, bitch! You can be shitty to me, but I draw the line at my employees. So I challenge you to a fucking... challenge. Fuck, I said that twice."

Succubus demon: "Is this little guy starting a demon duel?"

Verosika: "I think he is. What's the game then, Blitz-o?" she said mockingly.

Blitzo: "Every year, you STD-spreaders go to the human world during spring break for easy pickings. So I bet you can't suck as many people off as us at the end of the day. And if we win—we get our parking space back."

She laughed at the proposal, then looked back at Blitzo.

Verosika: "Oh, you're serious? Well then… game on, bitch."

---

(I.M.P Office)

Blitzo: "Alright, shut your assholes! Here's how we're gonna do this shit! First, we find a fuck-ton of clients."

The animated drawings on the paper show Blitzo, Loona, Millie, and Moxxie standing together. A bunch of imps and clients surround them with bags of money.

Blitzo: "We portal up."

Blitzo drawing snaps his fingers. The I.M.P. figures fall down.

Blitzo: "We have our fun murder time, as per usual."

The I.M.P. drawings kill off human drawings with guns.

Blitzo: "We pile all the bodies into a big fuckin' canoe."

The human bodies are tossed into a canoe labeled "S.S. Cum Gutter."

Blitzo: "We push said canoe into some water."

Blitzo drawing kicks the canoe full of bodies away from the dock.

Blitzo: "We light it on fire to attract the sharks and eagles 'n shit. Maybe a goose, too! Fuck it!"

Animated sharks, snakes, eagles, and creatures eat the burning bodies. A large octopus chomps the entire ship.

Blitzo: "They come and eat the bodies, we win the bet…"

The I.M.P. drawings cheer, and the Loona figure wears a party hat.

Blitzo: "We rub it in that sloppy bitch's drunken whore-ass face..."

The I.M.P. members give a Verosika drawing several middle fingers. The Verosika drawing bursts into tears. The scene cuts back to the meeting.

Blitzo: "Do you have… any questions?" throws pointer stick through a window

Moxxie: "Uh, yeah. What was that nonsense?"

Blitzo: walks over to Moxxie "That wasn't a question."

Moxxie: "That wasn't a plan."

Blitzo: puts a hand around Moxxie "I'm sorry, but that was a flawless presentation of what we should do, Mox. It's not my fault you got a smooth little brain upstairs."

Moxxie: "A what now?"

Blitzo: "I'm callin' ya slow, Moxxie. God, why don't you learn to take criticism, you—" begins poking Moxxie in the chest "—talentless baby-dicked troll?!"

Moxxie: climbs onto table in anger "Well, why don't you—" points at Blitzo "—take an art class?!"

Blitzo: grabs Moxxie and throws him back in his chair "Why don't you see how EXPENSIVE they are?!"

Luna: "Hey, is there a way I can come with you guys this time?"

Blitzo: "Absolutely not, I forbid it. Not gonna happen. Sorry, sweetie. Spring break is no place for young, vulnerable goth girls. You know the kind of FREAKS up there who'd drool all over you!"

They all looked at the invisible camera.

Me: "I think it's a good idea. Maybe Luna could get some valuable skills from this mission."

Luna: "And besides, Blitz, I know how to blend in."

Millie: "Wait, do you have a human disguise?"

Luna: "Yeah, don't you?"

Blitzo, Moxxie, and Millie all looked like deer in headlights.

Luna: "You've been screwing with the human world... without human disguises?!"

She looked at me with a "why didn't you stop them" look.

Me: "In my defense, I'm usually on solo missions. So whatever they do is not my fault."

Luna groaned at them.

Blitzo: "Okay, new plan! Lunny will draw the targets, and we'll take them out!"

Millie: "Sounds like a plan!"

Moxxie: "Only one problem, sir—we need clients who actually want them dead. We can't just go for a massacre."

Blitzo: "Don't worry, your smooth little brain already got that covered."

Blitzo then placed a badly drawn flier on an electric post. Moxxie was complaining how this could never work—then just as quickly, an entire mob of sinners appeared.

Blitzo had a smug smile and walked toward them.

Blitzo: "Okay, who's up first!"

Blitzo then started to list down all the potential targets and rounded it up to about 900 people.

I walked to him and asked if we could kill that many people. He only smugly replied:

Blitzo: "Anything's possible with the power of friendship... and this gun I found under the couch."

I sighed and remembered who we were up against, so I made a call to Dad.

Me (on phone): "Hey Dad, I need a favor."

---

Scene changes to the beach, with spring breakers either getting drunk or high.

We all got out of the portal, and Luna and I activated our human disguises.

We were about to start, but I stopped them.

Luna: "What's the hold up?" She asked, a bit confused.

Me: "I actually have a better plan. It's a bit on the nose, but it'll work."

Blitzo: "And what's that?" He looked confused, already holding his sniper and ready to shoot some kids.

Me: "Just trust me and wait here. I'll be back. Please—just trust me. After all this, you'll have your parking space back."

Just like that, Blitzo threw away his gun and sat down. He knew me—and knew that if I had a plan, it'd probably work.

They all sat under the bridge, avoiding the people so they wouldn't be seen.

Then Verosika started playing her song, making every spring breaker start to fornicate with each other.

This lasted for a few minutes—until they heard music coming from the other side of the beach.

This caused Verosika some confusion, and she momentarily stopped playing her song.

A pink smoke appeared out of nowhere, and as it cleared, it revealed a stage—larger than Verosika's—that seemingly appeared from nothing.

The music from the stage blasted louder and drew the attention of most of the spring breakers like moths to a flame.

(Backstage)

Stygian: "Ready, son?"

Geri: "Yup." Wearing spring break–appropriate clothes.

Dad smiled and summoned four demons in disguises made just for this occasion.

Stygian: "Break a leg, son."

He then created a pink smoke for our entrance.

---

(On Stage — Performance of "Soda Pop")

As the pink smoke spread, we got into place and started our song.

---

[Intro]

Hey, hey

Hey, hey

Hey

[Verse 1: Geri]

Don't want you, need you

Yeah, I need you to fill me up

마시고 마셔 봐도

성에 차지 않아

Got a feeling that, oh, yeah (Yeah)

You could be everything that

That I need (Need), taste so sweet (Sweet)

Every sip makes me want more, yeah

[Verse 2: Demon Boy 1, Demon Boy 2, Demon Boy 3]

Lookin' like snacks 'cause you got it like that (Woo)

Take a big bite, want another bite, yeah

너의 모든 걸 난 원해, 원해, 원해

너 말곤 모두 뻔해, 뻔해, 뻔해

When you're in my arms, I hold you so tight (So tight)

Can't let go, no, no, not tonight

[Pre-Chorus: Geri, All]

지금 당장 날 봐 시간 없잖아

넌 내꺼야 이미 알고 있잖아

'Cause I need you to need me

I'm empty, you feed me so refreshing

My little soda pop

[Chorus: All]

You're all I can think of

Every drop I drink up

You're my soda pop

My little soda pop

Cool me down, you're so hot

Pour me up, I won't stop

You're my soda pop

My little soda pop

The crowd starts to gather, completely entranced.

[Post-Chorus: All]

My little soda pop

[Verse 3: Demon Boy 3, Demon Boy 4]

Uh, make me wanna flip the top

한 모금에 you hit the spot

Every little drip and drop, fizz and pop, ah

소름 돋아 it's gettin' hot

Yes, I'm sippin' when it's drippin' now

It's done? I need a second round

And pour a lot and don't you stop

'Til my soda pop fizzles out

[Pre-Chorus: Demon Boy 1, Demon Boy 3, Demon Boy 2 and 4]

꿈 속에 그려왔던 너

난 절대 놓칠 수 없어

널 원해 꼭

I waited so long for a taste of soda

So, the wait is over, baby

Come and fill me up

Just can't get enough

Oh

[Chorus: All]

You're all I can think of

Every drop I drink up

You're my soda pop

My little soda pop (Yeah, yeah)

Cool me down, you're so hot

Pour me up, I won't stop (Oh, oh)

You're my soda pop

My little soda pop

[Outro: Geri]

Ooh, ooh

Ooh, ooh

You're my soda pop

Gotta drink every drop

---

The crowd cheers and yells for an encore.

---

Geri (to the crowd): "Thank you, everyone, for listening to our song! Since you all loved the first one, we'll be playing another song that'll leave you... breathless."

---

Red smoke fills the stage as Stygian snaps his fingers, transforming our outfits.

---

(On Stage — Performance of "Your Idol")

---

[Intro]

Pray for me now

Pray for me now (Dies irae)

Pray for me now (Illa)

Pray for me now (Vos solve in)

Pray for me now (Favilla)

Pray for me now (Maledictus)

Pray for me now (Erus)

Pray for me now (In flamas)

Pray for me now (Eternum)

I'll be your idol

[Verse 1: Demon Boy 3, Demon Boy 2, Demon Boy 1 and 2]

Keeping you in check (Uh), keeping you obsessed (Uh)

Play me on repeat, endlessly in your head

Anytime it hurts (Uh), play another verse (Uh)

I can be your sanctuary

Know I'm the only one right now (Now)

I will love you more when it all burns down

More than power, more than gold (Yeah)

Yeah, you gave me your heart, now I'm here for your soul

[Pre-Chorus: Geri]

I'm the only one who'll love your sins

Feel the way my voice gets underneath your skin

[Chorus: Geri, Demon Boy 2]

Listen 'cause I'm preachin' to the choir

Can I get the mic a little higher?

Gimme your desire

I can be the star you rely on (You rely on)

You're lost in my daze, yeah, you can't look away (Hey)

Don't you know I'm here to save you

Now we runnin' wild

Yeah, I'm all you need, I'ma be your idol

[Post-Chorus]

Uh

Uh

[Verse 2: Demon Boy 3, Demon Boy 2, Demon Boy 1]

Uh, shining with my fame, keep on shout my name, I'm your idol

Thank you for the pain 'cause it got me going viral

Uh, yeah, endless is my fever, makin' you a believer

I was born for you, only your idol

Don't let it show, keep it all inside

The pain and the shame, keep it outta sight

Your obsession feeds our connection

So right now give me all your attention

[Pre-Chorus: Geri]

You know I'm the only one who'll love your sins

Feel the way my voice gets underneath your skin

[Chorus: Geri, Demon Boy 2]

Listen 'cause I'm preachin' to the choir

Can I get the mic a little higher?

Gimme your desire

I can be the star you rely on (You rely on)

You're lost in my daze, yeah, you can't look away (Yeah)

Don't you know I'm here to save you

Now we runnin' wild

Yeah, I'm all you need, I'ma be your idol

Stygian summons black flames around the stage as the boys sing.

[Post-Chorus: All]

Be your idol

[Bridge: All, Geri]

Living in your mind now

Too late 'cause you're mine now

I will make you free

When you're all part of me

---

As the song plays, the spring breakers begin walking toward the black flames, and for each person who steps into the fire, it grows larger, leaving nothing but ash behind.

---

[Chorus: Geri, All]

(Listen 'cause I'm) Preaching to the choir

(Now) Can I get the mic a little higher?

Gimme your desire

Watch me set your world on fire

You're lost in my daze, yeah, you can't look away (Hey)

No one is coming to save you

Now we runnin' wild

You're down on your knees, I'ma be your idol

---

After the song finished, not a single spring breaker was left. The once loud and active beach was now dead quiet.

---

As the final chorus ended and the crowd cheered one last time—there was no one left.

The beach, once loud and full of life, was now eerily silent and empty.

Dad quickly made the stage and the boy band vanish, giving me a nod of approval before returning home.

I waved goodbye and walked back to the crew, who all had very different reactions.

Luna had a gigantic blush on her face.

Moxxie was crying, saying how beautiful it was.

Millie wasn't really affected, saying it wasn't her type of music.

And finally, Blitzo had the smuggest smile I'd ever seen.

Blitzo: "Ah! I knew I could trust you!" He then proceeded to climb on top of me and ruffle my hair.

Verosika and her crew walked over, each reacting differently—some stunned, some jealous of my singing.

Verosika herself looked pretty mad that she lost the bet.

Blitzo: "Haha! Take that, bitch! That parking spot is ours! We win!" He then opened a portal back to Hell and walked through it, flipping Verosika off as he did.

Verosika looked like she was about to explode. I quickly apologized for Blitzo and entered the portal after him.

Luna was the last to enter—and before stepping through, she mouthed something at Maelstrom:

Luna (mouthing): "Back off, bitch."

As the portal closed behind her, Verosika's entire crew looked defeated.

She gestured for them to start packing up.

But just as quickly—an entire police squad arrived and arrested them all.

Verosika (grumbling): "Huhh... alright, sluts. Get ready to suck a lot of pig dick."

Her crew groaned in unison.