My life as a youngster with a top percentage Rattata was much more successful than I expected? - Pokemon SI

Having stepped out of the eastern gate, Joey breathed in the fresh air of the pine trees and enjoyed the wide panoramic view that he got of the route. Saffron lay on a little incline, which meant that he could see quite far.

There were a surprisingly high amount of trainers mingling everywhere, having spontaneous battles, or training their teams. Perhaps he could snag a match on his way back, and combine everything into one.

But, for now, he had a mission to get to, he ignored the suspicious looks of the two youngsters hanging around outside the gate and went on his merry way towards the barred off-construction site of the underground tunnel. There were several workmen in hard hats collaborating with a Machop and a Machoke to carry large steel beams into a uniformly cut hole in the ground. Two rangers looked at Joey briefly as he walked past the site, gawping rudely at all the assorted tools and blueprints laid out for all to see.

One of the rangers suddenly frowned and walked up to Joey, just as he was about to walk past the site and leave it behind. "Hey kid," the man started. "Youngsters aren't allowed this far out," the man informed him.

Already having expected a situation like this Joey whipped out his trainer ID faster than a crackhead could whip out his stolen credit card at the crackstore. The ranger, about 24 years old by the looks of it, took the ID and quickly scanned the information, raising an eyebrow at the number of badges earned.

Although, Joey was starting to experience a bit of a growth spurt, so he didn't know why he in particular had been flagged. Kids only one year older than him were running around with fully-fledged trainer licenses so he didn't quite know what attribute marked him out as a youngster. Maybe his blue shorts, his yellow T-shirt and his cap.

Was he being profiled?

"Are you the kid who beat Kong with a Rattata?" the ranger suddenly asked, looking like he was close to cracking up as he handed Joey his ID back.

The boy shrugged. "I did beat Kong with a Rattata, but I don't know if any other kids have, so I'm unsure if I'm the one you specifically mean with that."

The ranger giggled, some laugh lines creasing his face. "Good one!" he said and clapped Joey on the shoulder. "Don't think a youngster with a Rattata has ever beaten Kong, or ever will for that manner. They usually go for the Pidgeys around here for a reason. Anyway, you can keep going if you want, but keep your Pokenav ready in case of an emergency. We can be there in a jiffy. Where are you going specifically?"

"Going to Constance," Joey said. "Flower delivery for a grave."

"Well, a powerful Golduck is protecting the area from what I remember, just don't antagonise it or else we might not be able to save your butt in time." The ranger waved him off. "Remember to turn around if you hear any weird laughter coming from the forest. Just because Lavender is on the other side of the route doesn't mean we don't get ghosts anywhere else. Every town has a graveyard somewhere, you know."

Joey was already walking off, grimacing at the reminder that he was apparently walking into a forest with a sometimes randomly emerging laughter that could be categorised as weird. Honestly, didn't the people in the Pokemon world have any knowledge of tropes? Joey already knew to run away from weird laughter in dark forests, mentioning them before he entered the area was just asking for trouble in advance. He waved the ranger goodbye nevertheless, as the man went back to his buddy to stare at the gigantic hole in the ground being excavated and filled with support beams. He rolled his eyes as more and more trees started surrounding him. The path to Constance was easy to find, but boy if it wasn't badly kept. Barely a trail really, bushes and trees transgressing on its sovereignty left and right.

All in all, he wasn't really seeing anything more dangerous than a Spearow here and there, although he could swear he also saw a flash of blue signifying an Abra teleporting away. Maybe the curious psychic had been spying on the construction efforts.

Anyway, Joey entered the woods alone, with his team at his belt, still in their Pokeballs.

Perhaps a bit of a weird choice considering that Pokemon were usually by default necessary to protect the squishy humans from other Pokemon.

But, well, normal rules didn't apply to Joey. He was a spurcel boi.

With his ghost-typing, he could become intangible and Shadow Sneak away. By not releasing his Pokemon he made himself the only possible target. This meant that if he dodged an incoming attack, he could choose into which position exactly he could release his Pokemon. It was funny, that even despite carrying around a team of two at this point, he was still quite possibly the most powerful member of the trio that he'd created.

Walking through the forest, alone, with nothing but wild Pokemon to bother him for the first time in a long while was quite enjoyable really. The quiet, the tranquillity of nature which often tricked humans into thinking that they were calm on the inside, whereas they were only mimicking their environment.

The green of the trees and the fresh smell of the earth. The absolute lack of fear he felt on this pleasantly sunny day which pierced through the foliage and let sunlight dance across his skin in a pattern as intricate as any ballet performance.

It reminded him of the hiking he'd done in his last life, and how those days had been mostly over after his rebirth. He was starting to look forward to his journey. The Pokemon world offered many beautiful opportunities, but one of the things that it did not offer to those unfortunate citizens with no battle Pokemon to call their own was the ability to wander the wilds and experience the sights that the world had to offer in solitude.

Another thing that the Pokemon world was missing was some good music. It turned out that with the way the culture was preoccupied with battling and had a much smaller human population, there were also fewer good beats. Shocking. Joey would have probably been willing to kill for his old playlist, a set of headphones and a joint right about now.

"Well, you can't have it all, can you," he muttered to himself as he saw a Bellsprout hanging off a tree from its vines, looking at him curiously.

He wondered what grass or poison-type secretion he'd have to sniff to get a proper high around here. He hadn't really found any mentions of any sort of cannabis strain yet.

-/-

In a completely anticlimactic and lame turn of events, Joey managed to walk the entire way to Constance without being harassed by literally anything, not even some pollen flying in the air, for which it was actually the season. He didn't know if he'd wished for something to happen. He'd known it was unlikely that something would, after all, he was extremely close to the city and he'd literally walked past two rangers... But… Well, he'd grown up watching the Pokemon anime where every episode had contained some shenanigans.

The forest opened in front of him, some broken-down fences long since overgrown by grass came into view. Constance was a remnant of a past age, an age in which humans hadn't yet retreated and urbanised themselves into a small but densely populated series of cities.

A broken age. It was odd to consider that people had moved out of villages and into cities even in a world where Pokemon existed and technically represented a bigger incentive to remain closely connected to nature.

Some tribes remained, apparently, but most people these days suffered the dreary daily existence of an urban environment, despite being born into a world of literal magic.

Kinda pathetic, really. In a world of Pokemon, there was even less incentive to lose one's life to a television or a computer, but it was still developing in that direction. Sure, there was a strong counter-culture, and people who loved battling would probably never stop exploring. But still, it was a sad thing to see. Especially for Joey who knew where the road would end.

"Well, fuck 'em. Can only secure my own happiness, can't I?" he mused.

He was oddly happy, really. Even if the scene he found himself facing was incredibly depressing. The broken fences were a good prequel to the dilapidated houses, with crushed support beams and caved-in roofs. Everything was a combination of wood and stone, but doubtlessly ruined. It was easy to see as he walked through the main road into the village where exactly the priestess had started rebuilding. There were ten houses surrounding the church which weren't broken, but just very much abandoned and overgrown with weeds and blackberry bushes.

He saw several Pokemon peeking out of the houses, be it from the holes in the walls, or from the broken windows. Paras, Zubat, Rattata. Everything was present, the weaker species having apparently found ample places to nest in this old human settlement.

In a way, Ellie's mother had succeeded. Someone had come to the settlement, and used the houses she'd built, and the ones that had broken down. Just not in the way the woman had likely expected.

Having looked around the village, but also having navigated clearly towards the centre during his walk, Joey arrived in front of the church which dominated the middle of what appeared to be a simple enough square, as overgrown as it was now with vegetation.

Was that a Sandshrew that he saw? Joey wondered. The little yellow Pokemon saw him looking and scuttered off, straight into the ground by using Dig.

Joey suddenly stepped back, feeling a premonition. He did so just in time to dodge a stream of water weakly impacting at his feet. He looked to the left, where it had originated. A Golduck was staring at him suspiciously from a pond that seemed to have developed next to the church. The youngster internally thanked whatever deity had decided to let him retain his powers over distortion past his reincarnation. He was pretty sure that he was starting to develop a sort of ghostly sixth sense in regard to his surroundings.

Although, to be fair, it was a hot summer day and the Water Gun had barely had enough kinetic force to even reach him. He could have used it as a refreshment. Although, with the Pokeballs and Pokenav on his person, it was probably better to avoid water at the moment.

He raised his hands when he saw the Golduck's bill swell up with another water gun.

"Hey, hey, I come in peace, dude. Why don't we all just chillll!" he exclaimed, extremely non-suspiciously.

The Golduck slowly exited the pond, revealing that it was a huge specimen. Most Golduck were around 5 foot 7, if Joey remembered correctly, this one was closer to 6 foot 9. Towering almost twice the size of the youngster. However, it was also old, with flappy skin and an awkward gait.

"I came to bring the offerings for the priestess Maria, her daughter Ellie sent me," Joey exclaimed, holding up his basket with the flowers and the food, not particularly afraid of the approaching Golduck, but also not particularly happy about a wild Pokemon getting so close to him.

He barely ducked in time to avoid another Water Gun, a serious one this time. Mentioning Ellie's name didn't seem to have improved the situation, oddly enough.

"Yeah, yeah, I don't like her either," he complained loudly. This somehow managed to placate the Pokemon, which refrained from shooting again.

"Golduck, duck, du," it complained loudly and while Joey wasn't an expert in Golduckese he could get the general gist.

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, tell me about it!" he exclaimed again. His mind quickly went through the possibilities of why this Golduck didn't seem to like Ellie, before coming to the obvious conclusion. "What's the point of trying to make amends after someone has already passed away? That's just dodging the responsibility we have towards our loved ones while they still live."

He seemed to have said the correct thing, as the Golduck finally relaxed a bit.

"Gol, gol, gol," it muttered, looking around forlornly, before shaking its head as if to awaken from a fever dream.

"I only took the job because of the money and because, well, even if the gesture is unwelcome, nobody can ever have enough flowers on their grave, right?" he asked into the air, getting a reluctant nod from the Pokemon. "Anyway, can I just drop this off and then I'll be on my way?"

The Golduck seemed to consider for a few moments, before eventually nodding its large blue head, and gesturing at the youngster to follow along.

"Beautiful place you got here," Joey complimented as he was led around the church. "Like a Pokemon sanctuary, with all the different species and families."

It was beautiful. The sun tickled from high up in the sky and nature had made the houses which were more practical by design, into holistic works of art. It was very uncommon for a place like this to come by naturally. Generally different Pokemon segregated their burrows. The only time when such a co-existence occurred was when a more powerful Pokemon was there to protect the congregation, or when a pre-existing structure made a place desirable to live.

Looking at the doubtlessly old Golduck and the beautiful houses, both criteria were fulfilled.

For the moment, Joey refrained from asking if there was any young and wilful Pokemon that wanted to go on a journey. It had the risk of escalating the situation that he'd just managed to calm down.

Golduck finished leading Joey around the church and into its overgrown backyard, where there would usually be a small graveyard.

There was indeed, actually, it's just that all the other tombstones were completely overgrown, basically becoming invisible. There was only one stone jutting out of the earth that was still recognizable. That of mother Maria. Looking at the well-maintained grave Joey realised how utterly worthless Ellie's gesture was. The grave was completely overgrown, but not with weeds, but with flowers. Roses, dahlias, petunias, lilies, gladioles. An utter cacophony of colour surrounded Mother Maria's resting place. It wasn't even sad anymore, just beautiful.

He looked down at his basket, with its, comparably boring flowers, one rice cake and a bit of sake. He sighed.

"A job's a job," he muttered and quietly removed the items, laying them down on the grave and pouring the sake on the gravestone. He put his hands together and his head down in a short prayer. "Lord Arceus almighty that art thou in heaven blessed be thy beautiful creation and the balance permeating all things." The world stilled at Joey's words, but he continued, unheeded. "Not mourning the death of mother Maria, your devout servant, we rather celebrate her re-entrance back into the ecosystem of your creation. May she find solace and peace in her next life, along with love to fill her heart." Joey opened his eyes and unclasped his hands. A tug pulled at his soul, and a shiver went through his body. It was like a tiny pebble had been dropped into the lake of creation. A distorted existence pinged at his senses, from inside the dilapidated church.

It was obvious that Maria had been more concerned with creating new homes than keeping the holy temple.

But, what was the use of a church if god was not dead? Joey wondered. Arceus was alive and well, floating around somewhere out there doing whatever magical goats Pokemon did in their free time. The legendary likely didn't care too much about human worship, considering that the entirety of the Pokemon world was praying to it simply by existing as its creation.

"Mind if I check out that church?" Joey asked the Golduck standing there, its blue colour contrasting wonderfully with the green of their surroundings.

The Pokemon looked at him suspiciously for a few seconds, before shrugging. It was an odd gesture for such a large beast, but Joey accepted the move for what it was.

He walked out of the little graveyard and around the church, looking at the wooden boards that made up its walls and the plywood used to board up what looked like holes. He'd been told that the church had remained untouched by the storms back then, so he could only assume that the other holes had been caused by some sort of other damage.

The doors were large, as was proper for a building that wished to receive many people at a time. Joey looked up, until the tower of the church, with what looked like a bronze bell still hung on top.

If his assumption was correct he should probably knock. However, he never had been one for niceties. Becoming a child and being forgiven for so much more than he had been as an adult hadn't improved the situation either.

He pushed open the doors. They swung inwards with a menacing creak. He was surprised they still worked at all, to be honest.

What opened to his eyes wasn't completely unexpected, but stunning in its similarity to the Christian churches of his last life. There were none in Saffron, so this was the first time he was getting a glimpse of an Arceus church, or, as people here in this world liked to call the Pokemon, god.

A rickety church with four rows of wooden pews on both sides. There were old and dusty books scattered amongst the seats, likely filled with some sort of hymns. There wasn't really anything particularly beautiful about the place. It was just old and neglected and sad. However, beyond the creaking high arches and the religious memorabilia there was one thing that was beautiful enough for Joey to take note.

The stained glass above the pew from which the pastor had once preached. The sun was right behind it, coloured light rays depicting the scene of the glass once again onto the wooden floor of the church. The scene? Creation. A ball of light extending its tendrils and bringing humans and Pokemon into the world. The art was minimalistic and perhaps even a bit amateurish, but the message was clear.

This world had been created by a higher being and this higher being was to be worshipped out of gratitude, not because one wanted something from it.

Without having truly noticed it Joey had walked up all the way to the pew to admire the glass more clearly. However, even the greatest work of art couldn't hold his attention for longer than a few minutes, and this stained glass, while nice, certainly didn't count in that category.

He turned around, looking out at the church from a now different perspective, and froze in his tracks.

In the middle of the benches, floating above the long-since destroyed red carpet leading to the pew, was a floating blue-green shape with purple-tipped tendrils functioning as hair and a pearl necklace around its neck. It was a Misdreavus. A Pokemon that through its ghost-typing definitely belonged to the "Top 10 Pokemon I don't want to meet in a dark alley-way category." The list also included entries such as Haunter, Sycther, Gengar, Weezing, Arbok, Golbat, and Gastly.

Overall, however, Joey wasn't too afraid. The lolled-out large tongue of the Misdreavus made it look a bit like a Growlithe, which was cute.

The Pokemon simply levitated in place, looking at Joey confusedly. "Yo, haven't seen a human in a while?" the boy eventually asked when he realised that the situation was not escalating.

The Misdreavus nodded slowly, while the youngster asked himself a very pertinent question.

Legends said that ghost-Pokemon were the result of some people or Pokemon being unable to disconnect from the living world after their death. Either due to still having left one task unfulfilled, dying with regrets, or angry.

Joey for his part didn't necessarily believe this theory, considering he was quite experienced with distortion and knew that some beings were just created through it, passing onto the material world when there were strong enough emotions present to draw them in. After all, if ghosts were the result of unfulfilled wishes, then ghosts would likely also have the ability to dissolve and pass on to the next life if they saw their wishes fulfilled.

However, just because the Misdreavus curiously looking at Joey was not literally mother Maria... The woman's devotion, her motivation for rebuilding the village, and her likely disappointment when no one returned to live here and her dissatisfaction with her death. Well, it was definitely a situation in which a ghost could have been spawned. Quite frankly, other than that particular death, Constance looked like a paradise for all sorts of Pokemon, which was even less likely to have spawned ghosts which would still be here.

Unsure of what he wanted to do, similarly to the Misdreavus, which was just levitating there, looking at Joey, the youngster decided to extend a peace gesture. Misdreavus were tier 2 Pokemon because of their ghost typing. He couldn't really catch the thing, and it didn't seem to have a personality too conducive to being trained. It looked sort of stupid, really. But that didn't mean Joey couldn't be friendly. He turned his attention inwards for a second, gripping there the distortion sitting at the centre of the being and projecting it outwards.

In essence, he became a ghost. His flesh grew pale and translucent, he cast a dark shadow and his eyes glowed a friendly blood-red.

"Mis, mis, dreavus!" the Pokemon exclaimed and flew closer to Joey, extending one of its hair-like tendrils which it used to wiggle at the boy.

Joey laughed and jumped up, having lost enough weight from the transformation that it looked like he was jumping on the moon.

He and the ghost-type chased each other like that for a few minutes, before Joey decided that he didn't really have infinite time here. The walk had been long enough, and he still wanted to get back to Saffron in time to get a few battles in. The money wasn't going to earn itself. He let go of the distortion, which he had been losing his grip on anyway and came to a halt at the doors of the church one last time, the Misdreavus flying through him from the sudden stop. A slightly sweet smell of flowers and a light breeze whiffed past Joey who put his hand on the door handle.

"Misdreavus!" the Pokemon exclaimed, suddenly flying up to Joey and hovering in front of his face. Its tongue was still lolling out and it looked like a kicked puppy. It was obvious that it didn't want Joey to leave.

"Sorry buddy, I have to go. Responsibilities calling," Joey said apologetically. "But it was fun playing ghost catch," he chuckled, rubbing under his nose.

"Mis?" the Pokemon said questioningly.

Joey tilted his head. Was he planning on coming back here? Not really, he'd come for the money, and different jobs would bring him to different places. Unless…

The reason he hadn't taught any of his team members Sleep Talk was because it wouldn't necessarily be the most useful move against Surge, but also because there was no one for him to practise with. After all, if Rattata wanted to practise Sleep Talk, then someone would have to first put him to sleep.

Although… Would he be able to use the move while sleeping normally, at night? Food for thought, Joey considered. However, that was around the time when he himself also wanted to sleep, so it was a bit of a sub-optimal

"Do you maybe know Hypnosis?" Joey thus asked the Misdreavus. Ghosts sometimes knew that move, right?

As an answer to that question, the ghost promptly nodded, opened its eyes wide, made them glow and blasted Joey face-to-face with a large dose of the sleep-inducing psychic move the species was prone to learning sometimes...

As the boy collapsed in on himself he realised that the way he'd phrased that question in regards to his positioning had probably been the dumbest thing he'd done all year.

-/-

A splash of water hit Joey's sleeping face and the boy jumped up from where he'd been lying on the steps in front of the church. He shot up, a hand going up to cradle his head where a migraine was stabbing at his brain in progressively more violent waves of percussion.

"Son of a bitch, tits, motherfucker, pineapple cunt!" he rapidly shot from his mouth as he rolled on the floor in an attempt to alleviate the pain.

For all the method of healing was primitive, it seemed to work, oddly enough. The headache lessened with every roll and soon enough he was laying there on his back, panting, but not in pain.

"Last time I'm asking a ghost if they know Hypnosis," he muttered to himself as he righted himself up to look at the position of the sun. It didn't seem like a lot of time had passed so that was good at least. He filed away the information that hypnosis could cause a headache as he looked around, finding a deadpanning Golduck looking at him as if he were an idiot, which, to be fair, he was, and a Misdreavus spinning on its own axis apologetically.

The youngster stood up and dusted himself off. "Well, what's done is done, but I still need to get home," he said. At his words, the Golduck put up both arms to point him towards the road that he'd used to enter Constance. It seemed like it wanted him to leave. That ticked Joey off, for some reason. Sure this seemed to be mostly a Pokemon sanctuary, ergo, no humans allowed or whatever. But… Joey hadn't done anything wrong, he was actually kind of a nice guy, really.

Looking at the Misdreavus a silly idea entered his mind. The ghost seemed lonely, and it knew hypnosis. He'd been planning on coming back at some point anyway, not just because of the move. But with the move… His visits could be more regular. "Would you perhaps be interested in helping a friend of mine practice Sleep Talk in a few months? You'd just need to put them to sleep, then they'd do the rest themselves until they wake up again. I could bring berries," he suggested while Golduck quacked in the background.

Misdreavus stopped spinning around itself and seemed to consider the suggestion. According to 'Ghosts and What You Need to Know to Not Get Horribly Murdered by One,' by Agaric Treewood, Misdreavus didn't actually need to eat but enjoyed the act under specific circumstances. The offer was thus a bit of a shot in the dark, but it wasn't like Joey had anything else he could offer a ghost. It didn't need blankets since it never got cold, it didn't need clothes since it couldn't wear them and it didn't need potions since they didn't work on it.

After a period of consideration that was quite frankly, way too long for such a simple question. Perhaps a by-product of being a ghost with what was likely not a great sense of passing time, Misdreavus finally nodded.

"Mis," it said once, very decisively.

"Golduck, duck, gold?!?" the water-typed Pokemon chimed in while pointing at itself with a stupefied expression.

"Is there someone I forgot to ask?" Joey wondered aloud, before shaking his head after some consideration. "Nah," he said, letting the word drag its way out of its mouth for maximal emotional damage.

"Golduck!" the big Pokemon quacked, affronted.

"Them's the rules," Joey said with a sigh as he stood up, patted himself down, avoided a Water Gun that would have otherwise hit his face and started walking towards the exit of the village. "See ya'll some other time!" he shouted.

Different sorts of Pokemon poked their heads out of their domiciles to watch him leave, but none approached him as he did so. He retreated back into his thoughts.

He realised that the hypnosis situation could have gone very badly. Ignoring the fact what could have been done to him had any of the Pokemon there been malicious, there was also the simple fact that if the hypnosis had lasted until late in the afternoon, it might have become inadvisable to walk back in the dark, forcing him to sleep over.

It was good that that hadn't happened. He hated sleepovers. If you had male friends they'd try to fart in your face at least once during the night, whereas if you'd tricked your fake gay ass into a group of female friends, they'd inevitably try to force you to shove something up your ass.

Horrible.

He considered as he walked if there was any training exercise he could have his Pokemon do as they approached Saffron, but sighed at the stupidity of such a move. After a long walk in two directions along with a forced nap, the day was slipping through his hands. Sure, Rattata could train Dig while Joey walked and Metapod could train swinging from trees. But, for all that Joey was having a nice time, he was still in what was essentially enemy territory. His Pokemon being tired or not might very well be the deciding factor between winning or losing a fight. Similarly, them being out, thus losing him one second in recall time in case he needed to Shadow Sneak away could be the deciding factor between life and death.

It had been twelve years since Joey had worked any type of job. Twelve years of bliss, reading, relaxing, meditating, exploring his ghost-powers. Twelve years, one job, a relaxed delivery which required a few

hours of working. That's all it took for him to get sick of working just as much as he'd been upon his untimely demise. Some things truly were forever, and it wasn't diamonds.

"You better win your battle, dragon-boy," Joey muttered to himself as he walked.

It was doubly frustrating to not be training considering how close Metapod was to mastering the reaction she had to the Toxic Orb and necessitating Joey to call Koga.

"Soon, soon," he muttered to himself.