My Incestuous Life

Alice PoV 

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I am in the bedroom now, with only darkness in sight and the sound of Luc and Mom's soft breaths in my ears. It has been some time since the conversation between the two of them took place, so both of them must have already entered the dream world.

As for me, as you can tell, I am fully awake still. As to why this is so, it is because I can't stop thinking about the conversation between the two of them.

On the subject of the conversation, I feel slightly uncomfortable about it, but most of me really doesn't feel uncomfortable about it, and even finds it even better, because with this unfolding of the situation, my chances of staying with my brother increase dramatically, since the biggest obstacle, which would be my mother rejecting this kind of relationship between us, is no longer there.

And if she still rejects this relationship between us... I don't know what to do. She would be a total hypocrite, and I might even hate her, but from what I have observed of her so far, the last thing she would do is to care about other people's opinions.

She might even care because this opinion comes from me, who am her daughter, but I don't think it would change her decision. But well, that is only the worst outcome, and I may just be overthinking it.

There may also be the possibility of Lucas rejecting me, but I don't think he would do that, since we are so close. So changing this feeling from "deep friendship" to "love" would be something as easy as breathing, but as difficult as crossing a bottomless chasm on a tightrope, depending on my mood.

But since we are only seven months old, a lot can still happen in our lives, so who knows he might start loving me without me even trying to make him fall in love with me? That would be great.

Coming back to the part that bothers me, would be the ease with which I accepted this. Shouldn't I be mad with rage right now that another woman is blatantly flirting with my future husband? Even more, that woman is my mother! But why, WHY, does this make me even more excited for the future? Just the thought of being in a romantic relationship with my brother and my mother makes me salivate... am I such a pervert? Am I a degenerate with no cure? I think that just by desiring my brother this is already very obvious...

As if I care about that! Long live the future! It looks very promising, hahaha! Just wait for me future brother and mother, I hope this will be as nice as it looks! Let's enjoy it a lot! Hiahahaha!

Yeah, I really am a hopeless pervert...

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Ana PoV

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Blinking my eyes as I wake up from my sleep, I stare at the ceiling slightly lit by the dim sunlight entering the room. I am lying in bed, still in the same position I slept in, while Lucas and Alice have long since left their previous positions.

My brain starts to work, and soon I remember about yesterday's conversation, which I fell asleep soon after because of the mental fatigue caused by the situation.

With my brain now free of all the excitement and lust, I begin to think about the weight my words carried.

Don't get me wrong, I am not regretting or feeling guilty, I am just wondering if what I did was right.

What would Lucas think about this in the future? Would he not care, hate me, or be happy? Even Alice, what would she think about this situation in the future? The last thing I want is a crack in our relationship because of this. 

But thinking impartially, wouldn't hating myself for this be too extreme? Since it wasn't me who started this situation and didn't take advantage of it, why did I leave the decision making to Lucas, and the answer to this situation depends only on him. I even rejected his request for more, since he is still just a baby.  

Nevertheless, I have not totally rejected his request, since I have left the decision making open, what if because of this, he is disgusted with me? Since no normal mother would say to her own child the words that I said.

Well, no matter what I think now, everything will still depend on him in the end. No matter what decision he makes, I just hope that in the end he doesn't hate me, since that would be by far the last thing I would want.

Ending this monologue, I get up to do the daily needs of myself and this house with my head full of thoughts, since I cannot wallow in these thoughts forever.

Well, regardless of what fate has in store for us, I hope we can all come out happy in the end. That's what I wish for as a mother and a person.