My Goal: Living eternally as a loli surrounded by my women

Prologue 3

Left alone in a weird forest

After screaming and cursing at no one for a while, I am exhausted. I lie down on a somewhat soft patch of grass and flowers. What should I do? I don't want to reincarnate, so I have to live here for some time. Should I have gotten the black box effect? I don't know. I also don't know if I there are any predators in this forest. Ely said that this was her divine realm, but I can hear insects and birds. Food shouldn't be a problem. I tried spear fishing in my past life and I know the basics. If there are no fish, I can only try to hunt for birds. I'm not going to eat disgusting insects. The spear fishing spear should suffice for self-defense because if there are any monster or a stronger animal, I am dead anyway. I am already dead, so I don't think dead works here. Whatever, spear first. I sit up and look around for a suitable tree. It should be a small tree, so I can reach, but big enough that the branches no longer bend. Found one!

...

Yeah, this isn't going to work. What is this tree made of? Stone, Steel or the unmovable object! I can't break anything. I can't even bend it at all. Now that I look closer, it seems the leaves also don't move. But when I don't focus on them, they seem to sway in the wind. The grass is the same. If I focus on it, it becomes hard as stone, but when I lie down on it, it gives away and becomes somewhat soft. I don't understand. How does this even work? How can the animals even eat anything here? Do they need to eat? Do I even need to eat? Well, my spearfishing spear plan is ruined now. Let's try to hunt with my hands.

...

There are no fish! I have been looking around for about 30 minutes now and I can't seem to find any. Also, the water doesn't feel like water at all. It feels like a more heavier air that is slightly blue coloured. But the waves look like normal waves even though they shouldn't. The 'water' is lighter than normal water so it should, by principle of basic physics, not fall and spread like this. In my past life, when I was still a teenager, I used to go to the beach pretty often, so I should know. I tried drinking it, but it just seems to disappear halfway down my throat because I drank about six liters of water by now. This place doesn't make any sense. I do feel exhausted. It hasn't been that long, so I don't know if I still need to eat anything, but I shouldn't need to drink anything. Ha, I should look if the animals even exist.

...

What is this? A broken indie survival game where you can't craft anything yet and they forgot to add the saturation and thirst bar. The graphics for the game and the sound design for animals are great, but sorry, we didn't have any money anymore, so we couldn't design the animals.

I have been looking around for what feels like four hours and I have only found a border to the void and a different forest. There is nothing else. No animals, no fish, no insects, no other people, nothing! I tried entering the different forest, but a barrier is blocking my path. I tried knocking and yelling, but nobody answered. Also, I believe the moon hasn't moved at all. Well, I don't have anything to do and nothing to worry about, so I will try the mind key.

 

My mind space

As I enter the overview, I see some changes.

Status
[Name]	Attributes (locked)
0	Skills (locked)
Spirit (Human)	Traits (locked)
Female	Titles (locked)
[Class]	Blessings

 

The only thing of interest is my new race and whether my status changed, so let's check it out.

Spirit (Human)

The connection between the soul and the body. Sometimes when a person dies, a spirit remains. These are prone to corruption and should therefore be convinced to move on or be purified.

 

Status

Health 1/1

Mana 1/1

Stamina 1/1

 

Weird, I understand that my race, gender and age have changed, but what about my health, mana and stamina. When I was a soul, I thought, that was the norm as I was, well, a soul. But now I believe it should either be because my attributes are locked or because I have to calibrate them or something like that. 

I enter my blessing section and look for the mind key.

Mind key	Special skill
This key can open the mind space.	Lv. Max

Okay, and how do I use it? I tried concentrating on the skill, but it didn't work. Then, it should be the 'finding inner peace and meditating' stuff. I make myself more comfortable and relax. Listen to the birds and actually start breathing. I don't know wether it was because I fell asleep or because I did it right but I feel myself entering some space.

...

I find myself on a white ground lying face down. I stand up and look around. Holy shit, it is messy here. There are random objects lying around, stuck in the ground or floating in the air. They all have the wrong colours and not the right sizes. Some are stretched, see through or just a mist like form. Now that I look closer, I can see a pattern. The ground further away has different colours. The objects in these regions have generally the same feeling and colours as the ones on the gound. Now, what should I do with these?

I walk closer to a shovel much bigger than me in the yellow region. I touch it and nothing happens. Uh, shouldn't I be getting some visions or something like that? These things are my memories, right?

...

I have been walking around for a while now. I can't really get lost, because if I walk in a random direction and want to return to the start, I just do. I have no clue how that works, but it does. Think, what do the main characters of novels do in these situations?

Eureka!

I will myself to my center and walk to the giant shovel. I close my eyes and touch it. Instead of looking with eyes, I look with my heart. How cheesy!

...

"And this is my shovel. I know how to use this shovel, and no one will miss you if you hurt her. But, if you ever need my help, take this shovel an-"

"Honey, don't scare him!"

"But, what if he hurts our little girl. You know ..."

Ah, I see, was that the legendary shovel talk? I look to my left and see Sarah smile at me. I squeeze her hand and say...

...

I wake up from the memories disoriented. The big shovel is gone and instead, there appears to be a floating small shovel above my hand. I move my hand around, and the shovel follows it. Interesting, now what should I do with it?

I walk back to the Center as I play with it. The symbol can be fixed in the air, and I can also freely enter and exit it. I have decided. The mind can easily forget stuff, so before something important is lost, I will gather them and fix them in a chronological order in the center. I don't know how long this will take, because as I relive these memories, older and forgotten memories will resurface. Well, let's start.

 

Sexy time [lewd content incomin]

This region is quite large. The ground is pink and different mist forms are floating around. After some experience with these memories shards, I have been able to get some previews when looking at these objects, so I already know what these are about.

...

Sarah is in front of me. Her hands and feet are bound together as she lays on our bed. The only clothes on her body are the sexy bra I bought for her and nothing else. Her pussy is wet, but her hair is in the way. I blow her ear and whisper.

"Kitten, I will be gone for awhile. Be a good pet and stay quite."

I pull the blindfold over her trembling eyes and walk into the bath. I take the razor blade and the shaving cream. I open the toys drawer and look around for a toy.

"What should I use, what should I use? Kitten, do you want the plug or the beads?"

She tries to speak, but the ball gag prevents her from doing so. I finally find what I am looking for and leave the bathroom.

"Little kitten, forgot that she should shave herself. Seems like I have to do so myself."

I push a drop of lube onto her asshole and make sure to push my middle finger as deep into her as possible. She shivers lightly and moans into the ball gag. The vibration anal plug fits quite nicely into her and I am glad take I took it in this colour. It suits her.

"Now, make sure to open your legs wide because I don't want to cut you. Isn't that right, kitten?"

She nods her head quickly and her eagerness brings a smile to my face, so I make sure to reward her by turning the vibrator on. I make sure to leave it on the lowest setting as I begin to rub the cream deeply into her hair and then begin to shave her. During the shaving process, I lightly brush against her body, touch her breast, or blow on her clit. It is quite easy to predict when she is about to come. I make sure that she doesn't while constantly teasing her about her state. As I finish shaving her, I lean back and marvel at the sight. She is constantly lightly trembling and moaning. Her butt is always shifting around but as I told her she doesn't move her legs. Her ball gag is dripping with salvia while her messy hair is covering her blindfold. The nipples are completely erect, and her chest is rising and falling as she is breathing in and out. During the shaving, I made sure to either turn off the vibration anal plug or increase the level, just to torment her more. I am really excited now. I remove her anal plug and the ball gag and push the anal beads slowly into her asshole and out.

"Kitten, how does it feel? Do you feel ashamed? Do you want to come? I allow you to answer me!"

As I ask her, I stop pulling the anal beads out of her and just leave them there. I lightly breath on her clit as I await her answer.

"Master, this pet feels amazing. Please let me come."

I slap her butt and bring my right hand to her pussy. I blow her ear and whisper.

"Now, now, kitten! I am your master. What should you do if you want something from you?"

"I must beg you."

My index and middle finger hover in front of her pussy while my thumb lightly traces her clit.

"Kitten, beg for me then. Beg to come!"

"Master, this pet begs you to let me come. Please, let this worthless slut come by your hands."

I push my left hands finger into her mouth, and my right hand begins fucking her. I know exactly where her weak points are, so I make sure to exploit them. She moans into my hand as she is sucking my fingers and after a few minutes, I can tell she can't hold back anymore. I remove my hand from her mouth and bring my mouth close to her ear.

"Kitten, I allow you to come!"

Her toes curl as her body trembles. I try to bring her to a higher climax by handling her rougher. I bit her ear and pinch her clit as my other hand fucks her pussy. She begins to squirt making the bed and my clothes wet. After some time she calms down, and I remove my somewhat clean clothes to dry her body. I remove her bindings and roll her over to the not wet side of the bed. As we spoon I whisper into her ear what a good kitten she was and how proud I am of her. After sleep took her, I make sure to lie her down softly and begin to clean up after our mess.

...

I really miss Sarah. I hope she is alright. Huh, I shouldn't think about the past, I am already dead.

 

What now?

I am finally finished. I don't know how long it has been, but I have cleaned up my mind space. In front of me is a giant wall with different symbols. It contains 26 rows of symbols with the top having the least number while the bottom has the most. On the lower rows, these are further separated into twelve smaller groups per row while the upper rows aren't that clear. To the right of the wall is another, but tiny, wall. This wall has three big symbols surrounded by many smaller ones. The first wall is a register of all the memories of my past life, ordered by year and months. It is pretty incomplete as nearly nobody can remember everything they did. But I hope that in the future I can add the memories that are forgotten in my mind. The second wall has everything from being summoned to by that bitch, meeting Ely and finally my time in the mind space.

During my time here, I have been able to figure some things out. I can create low grade copies of things I have a memory of. Why are they low grade? That's because they don't have substance. The only things I can make, are the surfaces of objects. They are hollow and don't have anything inside. For example an apple and a couch. If I cut the apple, for a short moment, I can't see anything in it. Then a mist sprouts from the cut surface area and covers the cut area. After it settles, it looks like a normal cut apple. The couch, on the other hand, disappears after I smash it. For a short while it exists just like the apple. Then the mist comes, but it doesn't settle but consumes the couch. After that, it vanishes. I think, it's because I don't know what a couch looks like inside and therefore my mind destroys it if it can't fill the empty area. The apple also always has the same taste, which is weird.

The other thing is that I can extract knowledge from my memories and manifest them. Which brings me to the objects opposite to the walls. There are multiple shelves which are filled with different objects. All of them have a name plaque. There are a chemistry, a biology, a physic and many more shelves. I am quite proud with these. After I had finished with reliving my memories, I began extracting the knowledge and gathering them in one place. This should be quite useful in my new life.

Now to the last point. Normally, you would just forget memories or they would fade away or mix with different ones. But I began to notice that the memories on my walls are my experiences in their purest forms. They aren't tainted with other emotions, except the ones I had at that exact moment. If I wish to, I can immerse myself in these memories completely and forget what I was doing. I can also simply watch them like a bystander. But the most important thing is they aren't degrading. This is important because this means that I practically have eidetic memory. Which is amazing! Naturally, if I don't want to remember something I can just remove it from the wall and then it would just fade with time.

I don't believe I have anything left to do in here. I hope Ely is back soon, so we can talk about the whole reincarnation business. I will myself to exit and open my eyes back in my spirit body. I try to stand up but my arms and legs feel like they are bound. I begin to panic and look at my right arm.

Why is the grass fused with my body?!

 

Waiting

I am really confused. After calming down a little bit, I realise that nothing seems to be happening. I see my arms being pierced and fused with the grass but if I focus on these connections with the grass I feel that it doesn't hurt. No, the opposite, I feel pleasure and satisfaction? What is happening? I can move my back, butt and head, but my arms and legs are bound so tightly that I can't even move them. Even worse is that my feeling in my fingers is muted and they react not as strongly to my controls as they should. Maybe my overview will help me.

Status
[Name]	Attributes (locked)
2	Skills (locked)
Spirit (Human) [Corruption]	Traits (locked)
Female	Titles (locked)
[Class]	Blessings

 

Shit, corruption doesn't sound good at all.

Spirit (Human) [Corrutpion]

The connection between the soul and the body. Sometimes when a person dies, a spirit remains. These are prone to corruption and should therefore be convinced to move on or be purified.

WARNING: You are in the process of being corrupted. Please seek help or be purified.

 

I am really scared now. I shouldn't have stayed in the mind space for so long without checking on the outside world. To think that two years have already passed since I first came here. I never slept, so I thought not much time had passed. Huh, time really does fly when you are focused on something. I have no clue what to do but I will try different things and see if they work.

...

I think it has been some hours and nothing worked. My body has no mana or anything else which I can use and willing the plants away didn't work. I'm a little bit panicked right now, but who could blame me. I should probably take some deep breaths and try to relax. Maybe I will have some ideas later.

...

Nope, no ideas! The only thing that happened, was that I had accepted my fate and that the only hope I have left is Ely. If she comes back soon, I will survive. While I wait and to relieve my boredom, I will try to build an actual mind palace, not an open plain which looks quite boring.

...

Today is my third birthday as a spirit. Yay! The situation with the grass is still mostly the same. Except that the only thing I can move now is my head. I also think my body is slowly sinking in the ground. At least it doesn't feel painful, no, it even feels pleasant. Thankfully I have my mind office or else I would have long gone mad. Yeah, I rebuilt my office in the mind realm. I didn't want to recreate my home because that life is over and I didn't want to create something to personal, so I created a place that I know well enough and that helps my needs. Most of my time was spent on figuring out how to store the memories in my computer. Now I have a pretty good set-up which helps me identify and store new memories. On the other computers I added different games I played when I was a kid. This helps me waste time when I am bored and keeps me sane. I just finished it recently, so I don't know a what I will do next.

...

Some time ago I had my fourth birthday. I can't really leave anymore, because the pleasure I feel from fusing with Ely's domain is too much. I fear that I will lose myself someday, so soon I'm going to stop exiting my mind space altogether. During this time nothing much happened. I got some old memories back, but nothing exciting.

But, in the past year I had a thought. If I somehow survive and in the future somebody somehow enters my mind space, then they would immediately know that I am weird because of my office. So I changed the entering area to a forest which I visited every year. My family always celebrated Christmas at my grandparents house. The property ended directly into a forest, which I loved to explore when I was younger. This was the only nature related space I knew very well, so I used it. To enter my office, I have to find the telephone box I hid in the forest and then dial my phone number. If somebody finds the phone box, then they wouldn't know how to use and just think, that it looks strange. The rest of my time I spent on improving these two spaces and building a type of reception area, like in a skyscraper. Well, the other reason I built these places is because I was bored. I already finished every game, and I can't sleep to pass the time, so to keep me entertained and sane I built them.

To be honest in the beginning, I feared for my death but now I am pretty chill about it. Naturally I would be ecstatic if Ely comes and saves me, but if not, then what can I do about. I shouldn't worry about stuff that I can't change and simply enjoy myself.

...

I am currently adding some rain outside my reception area. I make it a light drizzle, not to heavy or to soft, just how I like it, when suddenly I am interrupted. I am feeling somebody running through my winter forest and screaming for me. Hm, so that is how it feels like when somebody enters my mind space. I focus on appearing in front of the intruder. Some seconds later and I see a nervous Ely. Her face relaxes as she spots me and she starts running towards me.

 

The past

Ely is currently running towards me. I would be lying if I said I didn't feel relief seeing her here. She sweeps me into a hug and presses me against her body as if she wants to break my ribcage.

"Why didn't you leave? You nearly died. The only thing left to be assimilated is your shoulders and your head. I warned you, if anything is wrong, that you should leave through the bottom of the lake."

I try to escape from her death grip but fail.

"Ely, I am glad to see you. I thought I would die. And I wanted to leave, but my body was stuck to the grass, so I couldn't move. Also, can you release me, please?"

"No, this is your punishment. Also, it isn't easy to come across such a huggable creature."

Gah, why are small talking? I want to know if I can survive this.

"Say, you said I am nearly gone. Can you save me?"

"Yeah, but it will take a while, so in the meantime we can talk to each other. It shouldn't be long, compared to the nearly five years since we last met."

I see nearly five years have past.

"Why were you gone for so long? You said that you would be back soon. I waited so much for you, because I wanted to ask you something. Anyway, this place is quite cold, could you let me down so I can guide you to a warmer place?"

She removes me from her body, turns me around and hugs me again. 

"Sure, point the way."

Fine, have it your way. Thankfully, we are quite close to the telephone box. She begins marching in the right direction after I pointed it out for here.

"So, why were you gone for so long?"

"Oh, we searched for the other summone-"

"I am sorry to interrupt you, but can you please tell me the whole story from the beginning. I don't want to interrupt you every time I don't understand anything."

"Fine, but because some things wouldn't make sense, I will start from the true beginning.

"Every time a god breaks the agreement, the other gods gather and punish the offending god. We punish these gods by taking away some of their divine essence and the one who contributed the most in discovering the offending god, gets the biggest part from the essence. Divine essence plays a big part in promoting our strength, influence and divine nature. Naturally, this system wasn't created to protect the gods, but rather to obtain more resources from the others. As long as you are not caught, nothing will happen to you. Because of this, there are always gods who scheme against each other. 

"The Goddess of Light is a master at scheming and breaking the agreement without somebody noticing. For example, she used the body of the dead Primus God of Law to create the system 145 years ago. She didn't break the agreement, sp we didn't care about it. In the beginning only humans had access to the system, and they used it to quickly conquer the continent. Thankfully, she only used it for a short while, because the gods banded together to demand the system to be used by all races and that no one should be in control of it. Multiple gods also demanded that the Church of Light also ban slavery, because most of those gods had the races they were the Patron god of nearly erased and enslaved. My full moon elves still have to recover from that war.

"Another example would be 75 years later. We still don't know if she knew about it or if she didn't. It didn't stop her from using the first demon king to eradicate the military might of her opposing church, the Church of Truth, in the human lands. In the following years she destroyed the opposing church secretly from the shadows and in the end, she created the Great Human Empire. This empire had a human supremacy rule and the Church of Light as the only permitted church. 

"Only some years later did we find out, that the system that she created needs to release some negative energy periodically to function correctly. That was the demon king. The Goddess of Truth was so furious that she burned most of her divine essence and declared to the world what really happened. Everybody knows that the Goddess of Truth can't lie, so they were shocked. Non-human nations which suffered losses because of the demon king demanded reparation, while the humans themselves were torn between disbelief and anger. In the end the humans lost some of their land, the Great Human Empire collapsed and the Church of Light lost their position as the only church for humans. The gods also demanded that she must deal with the next demon king which would most likely appear 75 years later. Which brings us to now."

We arrived at the telephone box and Ely let's me down.

 

Talk in the reception area

I enter the phone box and begin pushing my phone number.

"Is this thing from your old world? What does it do?"

We appear under a small overhang which protects us from the light drizzle that I like so much. Ely immediately snatches me back up, and she walks into the reception area.

"They were used to communicate with other people over great distances."

"Oh, so like our message spells."

After her answer, she stays quiet and looks around. Thankfully, I replaced or removed all the electronics in this area as I was building this place. The lamps were switched out with stone which simply glow (I simply wanted them to, and they did.) and the only thing which would stand out is the elevator.

"Where should we sit?" 

I point her to the couch, where she makes herself comfortable. Ely waves her hand, and a bowl of sweets appear.

"I understand now why that bitc-"

"No swearing!"

"...brat summoned us, but what did you do in these five years?"

"So, after I left, I gathered the different gods. This took me some days. At that time I thought you already left because after one day I didn't feel any movement in my divine realm."

I interrupt and shove a hand with sweets away.

"You can only feel what happens in your divine realm? You can't observe from afar what happens inside it?"

"If I was at my strongest state, I could even teleport you out of my divine realm to my side. Sadly, I am quite weak right now, so I can only feel you moving around, understand your intentions in your foreign language, judge whether you are lying or not and many other small things."

Holy shit, she can tell if I am telling the truth. I haven't told her a lie yet, but I don't know if lying by omission counts. Have to shove the hand away and steer the conversation away from this topic. 

"So, you can't actually speak my language."

"Yes, I can't speak your language. I am simply expressing my intent and then my divine domain translates it into something you can understand. And don't think that matter with lying is over. One of the reasons I blessed you, was because you didn't lie to me and only spoke the truth. I hope that after I finished my story, that when I am going to ask you some difficult questions, that you would continue speaking the truth."

Oh, fuck. The only good thing out of this is, that I now know that lying by omission works. Fine, feed me sweets.

 

What happened and parting

Ely is currently feeding me sweets. I can't help but feel a little bit humiliated.

"So, you gathered the gods, what then?"

"I took an oath of truth with the Goddess of Truth. The gods believed me and we kept that brat under supervision, so she couldn't message her followers and warn them. After that we searched the human lands for four and a half years and we found the five different heroes."

"Wait, five heroes? There were only four other souls with me."

"Yeah, a single god can't really create a body for souls to inhabit. Well, the stronger gods could, but it would take most of their energy. It is much less exhausting to simply put the soul in an existing body."

"Does that mean, that she would have simply put me in somebody's body? What about the original inhabitant?"

"Yes, but she carefully searched for the right bodies. Some people have bodies which don't reject the inserted soul, so she searched orphanages for the right children. They were then brainwashed to offer up their bodies voluntary, because this would reduce the damage during the takeover. The blessings would have created a spirit body similar to the offerings. Then, during the time you grew up, you would have nearly perfectly fused with this new body. But, because of your wish, this didn't happen. So, that brat gave the body you would have inhabited, the same blessing you had."

My body trembled with rage.

"How disgusting!"

"The other four souls also reacted similar. They agreed to move into different lands, away from the influence of the Goddess of Light. This is one part of the punishment for that brat. Her forces must also be the spearhead for the demon king war, and she also had to give a large amount of her divine essence to the other gods. I obtained most of the essence and until now I have been absorbing them. Then I found you and now we are here."

She finishes speaking and falls silent. After she falls silent for some seconds, she stops hugging me and releases me. Freedom! I escape and move to the seat opposite of her. I sit down and face her gorgeous face which currently has a serious facade on it.

"How old are you?"

Shit, my danger senses are tingling. Quick, deflect but be honest.

"Yes, I lied to you. I am older than I look but not that old. I'm still in the spring of my youth."

25 is still young, okay! She seems to be thinking about what I said. I have to continue spinning my web and pull her in, so I keep talking.

"Seriously, I mean, I was a virgin and not married in my past life. There existed some people in my old life, which married when they were kids and normally you are allowed to get together, when you are still 16, 15 or even younger. Even if I was a bit of a late bloomer, I am really not as old as you think I am."

Everything I said is the truth. How I feel about my age, arranged marriages, what the parents allow and not the state and me getting a girlfriend much later than my friends. Thankfully, it seems she believes me now.

"Good, I don't like it when somebody lies to me. Even if I don't have many followers, I am still a god. Anyway, you waited for me because you wanted to ask me something. What is it?"

Okay, moment of truth!

"Do I have to reincarnate and lose my memories? Can't I keep them?"

"Sorry, not possible! There are some effects which help in keeping important memories safe, but you don't have them. And currently many gods are watching me, so I don't have much room to move in."

Fuuuuuuck!!! Should have taken the black box.

"Can you really not do anything? Then why did I suffer for so long."

Oh, her face brightened. Maybe I still have hope. She is currently looking down on her hands and mumbling.

"Because of the fusion... spirit and soul... maybe... strong enough... doesn't... agreements."

This sounds good. Hope-

"Yes, this could work. Let's get to it."

"Wait, am I not still connected to your domain?"

Elys enthusiasm leaves her, and she has an embarrassed face as she sits back down. To spar her the awkward moment, I ask about something she mumbled about.

"You said something about the spirit and soul. How does that correlate to the attributes?"

"Oh, there are four main groups. Soul, spirit, body and dexterity. Soul has soul, lu-"

She quickly began speaking but suddenly stops. She leans towards me and her fingers pinch my cheeks.

"You cheeky girl, you nearly made me tell you something I am not allowed to. I nearly broke the agreement."

"Sworry. Ey didct kwnow."

"It is fine. We need to wait for some time anyway, so let's talk until then. I made my big sister and brother really proud, they..."

...

Three days ago, I had my fifth birthday. It took more than one month to separate me from her domain, but Ely did it. She is currently flying with me towards the vantablack whirlpool and it doesn't seem to be far away.

"I will throw you into the reincarnation circle, and this will put you near the end of it. The energy which surrounds you, because of the fusion, should keep you safe the rest of the way."

We both are silent the rest of the way. When we arrive, she turns me around and we begin to say our goodbyes.

"I hope you do well in your new life. Good luck and a little farewell gift."

She kisses my forehead. Now it's my turn.

"I had much fun talking with you. I hope we meet again. Until then, goodbye!"

She nods and puts her hand on my neck. She leans back and from one moment to another I am flying into the whirlpool and everything turns black.