Chapter 134: Chapter 134. I Can’t Do Anything, It Hurts Too Much
It wasn't just Elysia—now, the players, the folks at miHoYo, and the "Elysian Realm" watching the stream all held the same wish in their hearts:
Kiana, keep moving forward.
In the Sea of Consciousness, Kiana's confrontation with the Herrscher of the Void had reached its final stage.
The surrounding scene began to change.
From her—K-423's—birth, to Siegfried bringing the real Kiana (young real Kiana) to rescue her.
These represented the moment of [her] creation, and the moment she was acknowledged as a true [person].
The Herrscher of the Void sneered.
"Birth? You sure know how to pretty it up. Have you forgotten? That was the filthy crime of that man!"
With those words, the barrage of bullet comments immediately shifted.
[I agree with this line! "The filthy crime of that man"—the Queen's absolutely right!]
[It's all Dog Otto's fault!!]
[Dog Otto owes too many debts—it's time to pay!]
[Sharpen your blades for Otto! Show us his HP bar already!]
...
There was a little Easter egg in this part of the story: the voice of the real Kiana was done by Durandal.
When Hokuto had first suggested it, Durandal, with her characteristically serious nature, put in a lot of effort to make those few lines perfect.
At the time, every time before recording, Durandal would take out her phone, plug in her earphones, and listen to something strange.
Naturally, everyone at miHoYo was curious about what she was doing.
Durandal simply brushed it off, saying she had found some learning material to help her better mimic a child's voice.
Which only made everyone even more curious.
In the end, it was Kiana who "accidentally" let the truth slip.
Turns out, Durandal had specifically asked Cecilia for old videos of herself as a child—and would watch them before each session to get into character.
"My sister and mom told me not to say anything about this... Hah, am I the kind of person who blabs?"
Everyone: "..."
"Kiana"
...
...
According to later testimony from Ms. Bombbird Kojima, who came up from downstairs to report something:
That day, the miHoYo studio was haunted by an eerie chill in the air.
Back to the story.
After hearing the real Kiana's voice, many players commented that it sounded a lot like Durandal.
However, since Durandal had worked hard to perfectly imitate her childhood tone, the difference from her mature voice made it hard to confirm 100%.
And so, while players debated whether "real Kiana" was voiced by Durandal—
The Herrscher of the Void and Kiana finished reminiscing about Siegfried rescuing Kiana from the experimental pod.
The Herrscher spoke bluntly.
She said Kiana had caused the death of Siegfried's entire family.
Sirin killed Cecilia, and Kiana made Siegfried lose his only daughter.
But Kiana did not waver.
Yes, those things made her feel guilty. They made her unwilling to face the past.
"But the kindness they gave me—I shouldn't, and don't want to, forget it."
"They risked their lives to save me. That was when I started being recognized as a [human]."
"What I should do... isn't drown in guilt, but carry their kindness forward."
After Kiana spoke, the Herrscher sensed her unshakable resolve and shifted the scene.
The image changed. Everything around them turned to flames.
2010, Siberia—where the Herrscher of the Void first awakened, trying to take over K-423's body.
At that time, both Schicksal and Anti-Entropy were searching for her. In the end, driven by fear and loneliness, she awakened as the Herrscher of the Void and killed everyone.
The annoying Valkyries, the Strike Team Captain (Ragna)...
She severed one of Siegfried's arms.
"This is all your fault. Don't you feel ashamed? Ordinary? Happiness? Love? You don't deserve any of that."
"To this world, your very existence is a threat."
Kiana: "..."
She took a deep breath. Her gaze remained firm.
"Yes. Even knowing what you were, he still gave me a name. Taught me to fight. Taught me to use my own power to protect the ones I love."
"Even when he left me—it was to protect me. You hate him, but he realized that he might be the trigger for your awakening."
"After that, I met Mei, Bronya. We arrived at St. Freya. Met Aunt, Class Monitor, and Teacher Himeko. And together, we vowed to fight for all that is beautiful in the world."
"And I made a promise with him... I won't lose to you!"
The Herrscher of the Void scoffed:
"St. Freya? Weren't you the one who destroyed it all?"
Kiana didn't argue.
The Queen smiled faintly:
"Yes, it's time for that memory—your most painful one. The truth you can't accept."
The scene changed again.
They stood on the deck of the Hyperion.
The music from Final Lesson began to play, and in the distance, Himeko's figure faded slowly away.
Elysia's heart skipped.
This wasn't just Kiana's painful memory—
It was the one that reduced players to sobbing wrecks.
The source of unbearable grief.
Especially now, when most had already come to terms with Himeko's death.
They watched her rush to the battlefield to save her students—and then... vanish.
Players, controlling their characters, charged ahead through the monsters—
Only to be stopped by an invisible wall.
Furious, they slammed their keyboards.
Bang bang bang!
"Why can't we go through!? Why can't we go through!?"
They could only watch helplessly as Himeko walked farther and farther away.
They could do nothing.
It hurt too much.
In the scene, the Herrscher's voice continued:
"She's heading into that battlefield again. Giving everything she has. But it's meaningless—she dies, a failure."
Kiana burst out:
"Teacher Himeko... was not a failure!"
"Then tell me—what did she save? After her death, St. Freya collapsed. The school was abandoned. Mei betrayed you. Bronya will soon drift away from you too."
"No." Kiana's eyes were unwavering.
"They saved me. Teacher Himeko saved me."
The Herrscher snorted, utterly unconvinced.
"She cursed you."
"That day, you knelt in the flames of Arc City. Raised your gun. Tried to end me—and your life."
"But you didn't pull the trigger. Because you wanted to live. Because that woman wanted you to live... to carry a lifetime of guilt and regret."
"That's why you'll never be free of me."
Kiana: "..."
"Well then~ I think it's time we settled this."
"Remember that Strike Team Captain I killed in the memory just now?"
"Her name was Ragna. A Schicksal Valkyrie instructor—also, the [teacher] of Murata Himeko."
Players' hearts trembled.
Elysia's breath caught.
This plot twist... was too cruel.
The Herrscher, having revealed that heartless truth, didn't stop.
"You killed her. Destroyed the entire Strike Team. Only Himeko survived—because she wasn't there."
"But she lost everything. Her home, her teacher, her comrades. She was forced to leave HQ, wandering all the way to the Far East."
"And there... she met you."
"Hahaha..."
The Herrscher of the Void laughed with biting scorn:
"See? Her fate was twisted by you! You changed her life—and brought her death..."
...
[This plot's too much. I need a tissue.]
[Bring extra. You'll need it later.]
[This is infuriating. The Queen is the Queen. Paramecium is paramecium. They share a soul origin, but why should the paramecium bear the blame?]
[But if she refuses to bear the burden, how can she call herself Sirin and gain the Gem's recognition?]
[Don't underestimate paramecium's resolve! She said she'd cross this chasm and accept her true self!]
The more the Herrscher spoke, the more everyone understood—
What Kiana chose to face... carried unimaginable weight.
To hold onto your beliefs in the face of such a cruel fate—
Even imagining it is unbearable.
.......