Chapter 18: Aftermath regret
{Rudeus POV}
My body feels sluggish. There was a bitter taste in my mouth. My eyes are struggling to stay open.
All I could think of was how I killed those hired assassins without the feeling of remorse directly after.
I knew that I was developing anger issues, but not such a cold-hearted personality.
Only when I got a better view at what I've done did I realize just how gruesome I actually was.
The standards of the other world don't correspond with this world.
Out there might be kids who have killed people too.
Not just war, but other types of conflict that force one to stain their hands with another one's blood.
After calming down just a little bit, I began removing the gears and weapons from all of their corpses and put them into my pocket dimension.
Most of them had simple armor and basic sword on them.
The only ones that had different sets were the Saint brothers.
The Water Saint had heavier armor with a light broad sword.
The North Saint had most of his gear smoldered by the magma attack.
What was weird however was that two of the underlings had poison vials with them.
Likely, a secret measure against me. I took those as well.
After that, I burned the corpses, prayed that their souls may find a better path, and left the place in a rush.
One of the members in Counter Arrow was having a lethal wound.
I don't know how high their healer is in Healing Magic, but it's going to require more than a beginner class spell to heal such wounds.
Nearing Rosenburg, I lessened my pace and walked past by the gate.
The guard as well as the people in the city looked at me with terrified expressions.
That's weird. I don't think my curse has similar effect like Orsted's.
Using my senses on overdrive, I located Suzanne and the others.
They were in the guild, probably asking for someone with higher class Healing Magic to heal their wounded comrade.
I ran towards the guild and soon arrived at the entrance.
Opening the door, all eyes aimed at me. And at the same second, they all silenced and trembled. Which in return came to me by my senses.
'Yuck. That gives me goosebumps.'
Surveying the hall, I spotted Suzanne and the others.
Just like everyone else, they looked at me with wide eyes.
Walking towards them, I glared at Suzanne. She startled and sweated from her forehead.
"Move."
My commanded was loud and clear to her.
She and the others moved out of the way and I looked at their injured teammate.
The wound actually healed, and he wasn't bleeding any longer.
But his scar was looking kind of purple, so I assumed he was poisoned.
Jester and his minions must've planned to use that against me. But I will never know if that is true.
Putting my hand on the scar, I concentrated on curing him.
I have spent a little bit of time on trying to fertilize the soil back at the Fittoa Region, but didn't use it that often as the cost of mana was much greater than conjuring new soil.
Honestly, I don't know if my Detoxification Magic will even work, but it's worth a try.
Unlike Healing Magic, you have to look into the object to pinpoint the toxins.
It was relatively easy to find, as the spot gave the poison away.
Soon, a green light emitted from my hand and shines around the poisoned man.
Once I was done, he slowly opened his eyes and looked at me.
His eyes went wide and there was fear in them, which I also sensed.
Not caring what anyone has to say, I went over to the reception and pulled out the tails I stashed in front of everyone.
"I believe this should suffice as proof for my job."
The clerk just looked at me with fear and trembled through her whole body.
Giving her a small glare, she soon bowed and went off running to another room.
As I waited, Suzanne approached me from behind.
"You know, you could have avoided all of this if you just left me alone."
"…"
I was standing with my back towards her, so I couldn't see her expression.
But my emotion-reading senses told me that she was feeling something besides fear.
Not that I bother how she felt anyway.
The clerk came back and with the appropriate money for my job.
Pulling out my money pouch from the pocket dimension, I stashed it together with the rest and put it back in.
Turning around, everyone still looked at me.
I probably have a terrible look on my face.
Who can blame me. I just broke one of my morals and terrified myself in the end.
When I was about to go to the entrance door, I noticed the other injured person.
A blond haired man with a brown and red robe. He was missing his right arm.
Pinching the bridge of my nose, I considered whether to heal him or not. All in all, it is my fault that it happened anyway, so healing him will be the least I can do.
Using my [Specter Force] I grabbed the guy's stump and pulled him to me.
He was startled a bit, but looked at me with… sympathy?
Whatever, let's ignore that.
Putting my left hand on his stump, I concentrated my magic once again. After a few seconds, a green light emitted from my hand, and a new arm slowly grew out of his stump.
Once his arm was fully healed, the guy fell on his butt with wide eyes and an open mouth, holding his arm before him.
He touched it with his other hand to confirm that it's actually real.
Now that I think about it, I could use this healing ability to get some fame around her more easily.
Zenith was a medic herself when she was in Buena. Then maybe if I provide my services as healer, then people will spread my name more.
But with my motivation in shambles, I need some a little bit of time to recover first.
Walking away from all of this, I proceeded to head towards my inn.
"Wait."
Or so I thought.
"What?" My tone was a mix of annoyance and tiredness.
Suzanne just doesn't know when to give up.
And looking at her, she had a similar expression as the ex-one-handed man before I healed his arm.
With the difference that she had a bit of worry on her face.
"I would really appreciate it if you leave me alone. After doing my job, I didn't expect to find assassins who were hired to kill me attacking you and your group."
My eyes started narrowed as my brows furrowed.
"Not only had I to save you five, I had to stain my hands with all of their blood. I'm exhausted, so do me a favor."
I activated my Touki and dashed before her, gripping her collar and pulling her face before me.
"Next time, leave the gloomy looking kid alone. Otherwise, I will have to add you to my list of killed people."
She flinched at the end of my sentence and I let go of her.
Continuing what I tried before, I exited the guild only to bump into another group of adventurers.
Just like the people within the guild, they looked at me with shock.
"What the hell happened to your kid?"
The one who asked me that was a tall, blond haired and blue-eyed man with sharp features, with a sword attached to his back.
"Just some killing."
I leisurely answered him and walked again.
There wasn't any other interaction on my way to my inn.
The towns people, as well as the innkeeper looked at me with the same expression as everyone else.
My day was so rough that I didn't care what people would think of me now.
All I want now is to get to my room, wash myself, and take a well-deserved rest.
Actually, scratch that. Now of all times, the nightmares might have more severe effects on my mental health than before.
Once I was in my room, I put some firewood in the fireplace and heated my room up.
As I took off my robe, the distinct odor of blood, ashes and burned flesh fell into my nose more than before.
Throwing my robe to the other side of the room, I noticed the stains of blood on it.
Because I already threw up allot, there wasn't anything coming out of my mouth except air.
Conjuring a bucked filled with warm water, I looked at my own face.
Through my reflection, I saw why people were looking at me for.
There were blood stains around my eyes.
The wound on my face Jester inflicted on me must've sprayed my blood all over it.
I was starting to get even more afraid of myself.
All these things happen because of me. I'm the reason for these bad things happening.
With disgrace towards my own action, I took off the rest of my clothes and violently washed myself up.
While I was washing myself, I violently rubbed my loin cloth on my skin so much that it started to hurt a little.
After I was done, I went into my praying position, begging for forgiveness for killing all these people, and that their souls may get a second chance so that they can go on in peace.
I only put on my underwear and went to bed, curling into a ball and clutching my head.
'This has been a terrible first solo mission.'
***
Standing in a white void, I groggily opened my eyes. A groan slipped out of my mouth.
Out of all the times, why does he have to bother me now?
Just as expected, when I looked above me, there were the chained up black demon and white dragon.
Looking at my chest then, the crack with the chains sprouting out of me was also still there.
"*Sigh* Why are you doing this to me?"
The question wasn't aimed at anyone. And I certainly didn't except anyone to answer. But the burden was too great on me.
But, where is he anyway?
"Why… won't…. you... already…. DIE!"
I got startled over the ragged voice of a person trying to say something.
It was as if someone were trying to call me through a phone, but the connection is slowly about to cut off.
That voice must be Hitogami.
But when I looked around, he wasn't there.
The floor beneath me started to shake and the demon and the dragon squirmed a bit, making the shackles clatter.
Looking frantically around, I spotted him.
It was hard to see, but he was stomping the ground and scratching his head. Which means he is the one causing this earthquake.
But before I could say anything, my consciousness faded and my vision darkened.
***
I slowly wake to a feverish sensation around me. My body feels like it's burning.
Actually, now that I sniff a bit, there is actually something burning.
And now that I lay on my back, I don't have to look where the flame is coming from.
For anyone else, this might be torturous, but I was different.
There was just one sentence that repeatedly went through my head.
'.....this is fine.....'
But to my dismay, the flames are slowly but surely dying out.
Once the last bit went out, I groggily got out of my bed, and looked at the sheets.
The blanket was burned to ashes halfway through. It also seems that the sheets of my bed got a little burned as well.
Looking out the window, it was already morning.
I must've been really exhausted.
But what exactly was this dream about? Was Hitogami forcefully trying to get a connection?
Either that or the little goddess girl is blocking him from contacting me. So to sum it up, she is doing me a big favor.
Dealing with that shitty god won't do any good for my mind.
*Growl*
Also, I should clean my clothes quick and head out to eat something.
I lost a lot of body fluid, so my stomach requires a refill on nourishment.
I tried my best to clean off the blood from my robe, but there were still some stains left on it.
Only good thing is, this is mostly my own blood.
*Knock* *Knock* *Knock*
'... Damn you sensing ability. *Sigh* That woman is just a pain in the ass for a leader.'
Because I didn't want to get more of a headache, I decided to listen to her just this once.
Opening the door, the whole group of Counter Arrow looked at me with shock yet again.
Mentally, I groaned over how tired I am about getting such looks these days.
"What happened to your face?"
".....My what?"
Was there something I haven't seen yesterday? Like my forehead having new scars?
I conjured a hand mirror out of stone and ice to give a view over my face.
There I saw what she meant.
Below my right eye was a small scar. Curved lines like claws went down from my lower eyelid.
It was the side Jester slashed first with his sword.
While touching the spot, I said: "Why?"
I'm starting to get seriously tired of the constant changes of my body.
Whoever the fuck decided to change my once normal appearance so much, go to hell you sick bastard.
Dispersing the hand mirror, I looked at Suzanne again.
"Look, I got my eyes slashed when I fought that Sword Saint, so I didn't do this on purpose?"
"What? Who would- No, let's talk somewhere more freely. Could you please come downstairs, so we can have a word with you?"
"*Sigh*…..fine. But you're gonna have to promise not to bother me anymore after this."
Because I was getting exhausted of her vigilance, I decided to comply just this once.
After I put on my robe, we then went down to the lower floor of the inn and went into what seems like a meeting room.
Because this inn is directed towards B-rank parties and above, it has rooms like these where parties could hold a meeting.
Normally, it is meant for those parties that have bigger missions in plan. But it can be used for other occasions as well.
And as if it were part of this curse, all the party member looked at me again.
As we all got into the meeting room, we all took a seat at the round table and all of them waited for me to start.
Sara even gave me a glare for waiting so long for someone else to start.
This is kind of embarrassing to do, but I guess I have to get used to this eventually.
"*Sigh* well before we start, does any of you have any questions about me?"
One of them, the blond one with the previously missing arm, was raising his hand up. And frankly, it was the one I healed.
"Before that, we would like to properly than you for what you have done for us despite our negligence."
"Ah, right. I guess that makes sense."
They all thank me first and then name themselves.
First was the actual leader of Counter Arrow, Timothy.
With his soft smile and kind aura, and Suzanne's leadership presence, I would have never thought that this guy leads this group.
Second was the person in metal armor, Patris, the one who got poisoned.
Third was the party Healer, Mimir, who wore a similarly plain white robe like mine.
And although I already knew their names, Suzanne and Sara introduced themselves too.
"What we liked to ask you first is where you learned such high-class Healing and Detoxification Magic." Mimir asked first.
"The guild identified the poison, and told us that it requires King class Detoxification Magic to cure." Timothy added.
"Huh… is that so?"
Seems like just like my Healing Magic, my Detoxification Magic ranked up high as well. Well, isn't that a milestone.
While it may not come in use all the time, it will definitely be useful once I need it.
"I'm afraid I can't give a proper answer to that question. I only recently developed the ability to use Healing Magic without the chant. After that, it sort of evolved over time."
They looked at each other as if in doubt over my words.
How am I supposed to explain this anyway? It's not like I can tell them about my curse. I barely know these people.
"Alright, second question. You told us that those men were sent after you. Who was it that sent them?"
That is an even harder question to answer, since it probably involves some people with large influence.
But they deserve an answer since I dragged them into what should have been an attack solely meant for me.
"The person who attacked you five was called Sword Saint Jester. He and his brothers were called the [Tri-Daggers]."
"The [Tri-Daggers]? That was one of them?"
Patris was yelping out.
"Do you know something about them?" I asked.
"All the three brothers are the same age, but born from different mothers. They are well-known assassins who each reached Saint rank in their individual school."
"Yeah, he said something about his brothers being Saints as well."
The one I killed with [Electric] was the Water Saint, and the one I killed with molten lava the North Saint.
Honestly, if it wasn't for me hiding in the trees, I would have had a harder time dealing with them.
More so if they all fought me together.
They most likely deemed me as a low threat and split up.
For what seemed like the thousandth time, I was lucky.
"Who sent them?" Timothy asked.
"Before Jester died, he told me the name of the person who send them. It was someone called Philemon Notos Greyrat."
"What?!" Sara screamed at me.
"What is your relation to that cowardly lord?" she asked.
"I don't even know who that is."
Sara looked surprised. I wonder what's on her mind?
"I thought you two are related."
"And like I said. I don't-"
Something just popped into my mind. Now that I have a clear head again, I remember where I heard that name before.
"Oh~. Now I remember."
"What is it?" Suzanne asked.
"He is the head of the Notos household and my father's younger brother. He was probably trying to get rid of me because of my arrival in the Asura Kingdom."
While his actions make a bit more sense now, his fears about me taking over his position are of no reason.
I dislike the noble society. The only two exceptions would be Lord Sauros and prince Zanoba.
"What did you do to make him hire those men?"
"Being born."
All of them had their eyes cracked open when I said it in a way as if stating the obvious. But soon they had sad expressions on their faces.
Even Sara looked at me sad, which is kind of surprising.
"Look, I was never a noble myself. Both of my parents dropped their last names long before I was born. The only time I dealt with some nobles were Fittoa regional lord's family. But almost all of them are dead now because of the calamity."
"""...""" Dead silence.
It because of reasons like these that I started to see how terrible living as a noble could be.
The constant conflicts between them and their families just seem like a waste of precious lifetime to me.
"How are you dealing with all of this?" Suzanne questioned me with concern in her voice.
"Honestly, not good. I killed most of the underlings, and even all three of the brothers without realizing what I did before it was too late."
Suzanne and Timothy looked at me with sympathy. Patris and Mimir with fear. And Sara hung her head down.
Was she alright? Did I say something weird again? I hope not.
I seem to worry all kinds of people these days.
"Does your father know about it?" Timothy asked.
"Well, he..... Umm."
Now that I think about it, I never wrote Paul a letter when I was at the refugee camp.
Surely, he must've seen the pillar of light I caused back at the mountains.
Knowing how worried he was when I first caused a [Bright Sky Wave], he is probably awaiting some kind of response-letter from me.
Once we are over with this discussion, I have to buy ink and paper immediately.
"He doesn't need to know. He got his hands all tied up in work. Both of us are trying to find the last member of our family anyway."
"You're saying that, but your face would definitely make him worried sick." Suzanne said.
"I know that my scars make me look weirder than I already did."
"I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about your expression."
"Huh?"
I touched my face a bit. Was my expression really so messed up?
Psychologically speaking, I am in a serious distress over myself.
Sure, I'm too much of a softy. But those things are just something I have to deal with from now on.
"You're overthinking it. I can't solve these issues until I found my mother."
"Aren't you putting too much pressure on yourself? You can't manage all these things at once. You're gonna break eventually."
I sighed deeply before looking Suzanne with narrowed eyes.
"Wasn't that whole assassination enough? You should all mind your own business and just leave me be. Otherwise, you might end up getting yourself all killed."
Standing up from my chair, I walked before the door and stopped before exiting the room.
"All of you should cherish the life you still have and not get tangled in other people's conflicts. Let this be a lesson to you."
I didn't dare look at them after what I just said, so I just left the room.
But my emotion sensing was telling me that all of them had a bit of conflicted feelings in them.
With all this information, I am now certain that emotions caused the mana inside a person's body to shift.
If I use this correctly, I might be able to develop a lie-detector-sense.
But that can be dealt with later. I now should do something about my stomach still being empty.
Afterwords, I can go and sell the pelt I have once I properly skinned and washed them.
They should bring a nice sum for my current stash.
Suzanne and the others did as I told them and left me alone, so I could spend my day more peaceful.
Once I was done selling my pelts after I prepared them, I ate some food and went back to my inn and rested.
Nightmares or not, the exhaustion I have built up is just too overwhelming.
***
I was opening my eyes and saw a foggy white void.
My first thought was:'This again? How desperate can he be?'
It was obvious to me now that it must be him.
Who else would summon me here?
"Go to the labyrinth. Once you are there, you will find her in the boss room."
'Huh?'
That was Hitogami's voice. Did he say that to me?
It took me a second, but I soon noticed that I couldn't move my head or shift my gaze.
Something like this happened once before. It was back at Millishion before I woke up after launching [Bright Sky Wave].
That must mean… the Goddess is doing this, right?
She is….. helping Hitogami….. contact me.
Why?
And here I thought she was blocking his 'divine power' for me.
Was I wrong all along?
Suddenly, my vision changed and ripples like a water surface expanded before my eyes.
This sort of thing was just like what happened back then.
Where I saw the image of Paul's body missing its lower half and me standing before him.
And the current vision is about….. Zenith?!
It's her. Although I haven't seen her in over 6 years, she still looks the same.
But what's this I'm seeing her around?
It almost seems like she is encased in a large crystal.
Around the crystal, something was moving.
They were reptiles, and they are covered in what seems like green stones. The darkness was hiding them, so I couldn't identify them any further.
There were about nine of them… and it looked like their gazes were directed at me.
Then their red eyes started lighting up one after another in a random order.
My instincts told me they were staring directly at me with hunger.
'This is starting to get terrifying. What are these creatures? And where is this place? How did Zenith get inside that crystal?'
I tried to speak, but none of my body parts were moving. It was as if only my eyes existed.
The monsters started moving towards me, each opening their jaws and growling at me.
Then, they all sprinted at me and I could see nothing but red and green.
***
I snapped my eyes open and looked at the ceiling. Déjà vu.
My breathing was ragged, I could hear my heartbeat in my ears, and I was soaking in sweat.
That was a nightmare like the previous vision.
The Goddess has to be the one who did this.
With her powers, she has shown me the future a second time.
But judging over how it happened, she might have used Hitogami's power to show me these visions.
He said something about a labyrinth.
But which one is it? And who did Hitogami tell to go there?
Was his message actually directed to me, but he couldn't properly convey it?
It's doubtful that piece of shit would do something like that.
Giving me a big lead to where Zenith is.
But if the vision is true, then I know where to look at to find her.
Controlling my breathing and calming myself, I set my mind on the new goal.
"Looks like I'm going labyrinth diving."
***