Chapter 8 - Fight or Flight
July 3rd, 2024
9:24 AM
I find it very awkward sleeping inside of a tent, inside of a bigger tent, and waking up to the smell of bacon and eggs. Last night was very odd to say the least, but it made me realize I should just leave and go somewhere else. North didn’t work out? That’s okay. South may have smaller lakes and uglier scenery, but there’s one thing it doesn’t have. An annoying giant blonde.
… And apparently something causing hikers to go missing. Either way, I’m not above taking advantage of someone else’s cooking and then making like a tree. I get out of my tent and step outside to see her looming over the food. She’s not wearing her jacket, so I can see she’s got ink on her right shoulder. It kind of looks like a phoenix, but I can’t really tell from this angle.
Turning around, she catches me staring and quirks an eyebrow. “Looks like we live to breathe another day, huh? Get over here. I made us breakfast.” she tells me before patting the thick log behind her.
I don’t object. It smells pretty darn good. Taking a seat on the log adjacent to hers, I see her frowning at me. “Really? I don’t bite y’know…”
A flat expression is all she gets from me in response. From what I can tell, she’s likely holding back from rolling her eyes. Taking two plates she puts some of the eggs and bacon on hers, then fills mine up and hands it over. I take a bite and have to hold back from moaning. It’s seasoned with salt, with some cheese on the side, and the bacon is cooked perfectly. I haven’t had real food like this in far too long.
She looks a little surprised as she hands me some flat bread to go with it. “Is it good?” she asks, to which I enthusiastically nod back. “Good, because I got a few questions for you this morning and I figured I might as well get you on a full stomach.” she adds, making me stop for a moment. That’s pretty sneaky, but I have been very evasive from the start…
“First question. What’s your name?”
Oh, right. “Bishop.” I tell her after swallowing another mouthful.
She leans her head a little to the side as if I’d only given her half an answer. I guess that’s true, but that’s all she’ll get outta me.
Sighing, she continues. “Right, then. Is this your first time going camping, Bishop?”
I’ve done it once as a kid, but never alone, so I nod. She nods back. Figures she would notice. It looks like she’s been doing this for a while, or at least has a fair bit of experience.
“And lastly, do you know how to use a gun?”
Odd question but I answer it anyway with a shake of my head. I’ve never touched one.
It must have not been the answer she was looking for because she leans back and gives a disappointed expression. “The reason I ask is because I need someone to help me look around. I get you probably want to leave this place after yesterday, but I could really use your help. I’ll even drive you back myself once we’re finished here. Shouldn’t take more than a week, two at most. How does that sound?”
Walking back would take many hours, and probably a day or two depending on how dirty I want to get, but she’s offering to give me a free ride? That would actually be very convenient, but I have some reservations. “What do you want me to do, exactly? And don’t take that as any sort of agreement. I’m just asking.”
That causes her to perk up a bit, and she explains to me that all I need to do is assist her with a couple of things and be alert for signs of anything suspicious. She knows I’m not a tracker or any such thing, but If I had to guess she just wants the company. I’m not good company, though… So far I’ve been actively keeping my distance.
Munching down on the delicious food it dawns on me that maybe I need her more than she needs me. Normally people don’t go out of their way to even talk to me, but she’s clearly trying to get me on her good graces.
“I want you to accompany me when I go searching. That, and having a second pair of eyes would be very useful. Don’t think I’m looking to take advantage of you or anything, I don’t expect you to do everything around here, however, I’m sure you’ll have fun learning about camping as we go. How about it?”
… I suppose it wouldn’t be that bad. Seeing my folks so soon would be really embarrassing. Just thinking about it is making me feel sad. After all that’s happened, I don’t feel like talking to them anytime soon. I get mom wanted me to move on and get better, but dad never tried to sympathize with me. Besides… it isn’t as though they’d even be looking for me.
The fact that both of them are now taking the hard stance only makes me want to cut contact even more. Maybe what I’m doing is childish, but I get it. I’m supposed to be a man. I’m supposed to learn to deal with it. I can’t cry about it. I can’t talk to them because they’d just hear excuses no matter what I told them. If I don’t do what they want, then I’m a rebel. If I do and I fail, I’m just not trying hard enough.
Fuck all that noise. The last thing I need is to hear them talk down to me when they arrogantly believe I have it easier than they did at my age. I would feel more alone with them than I would all by myself out here, and who knows? Maybe Penelo Asswood isn’t so bad…
Ah, that’s right…
“What did you say your name was?” I ask, a little embarrassed at making her tell me again because I forgot.
“Penelope Ashwood, but you can call me Penny.” she says with a smile on her face, and for the first time I notice her features are actually kind of striking. Her cheekbones are high, and her jaw is nicely shaped. Her lips are thin, but when she smiles her dimples are very noticeable.
Her bright green eyes feel as though they’re pulling me in, but I look away. Maybe I blushed because she starts chuckling. That doesn’t mean anything, though. I haven’t had a crush in forever. Not since I was a kid and got teased by a girl or two in kindergarten. She just gives off the presence of an assertive person, I guess. When I turn to see her face, she’s composed herself and gives me a level look.
“… Okay Penny. It’s a deal, but don’t expect too much. I might not be all that useful.” I tell her, rubbing the back of my neck with one hand. “That’s fine. I can teach you how to use one of my revolvers.” she says nonchalantly, which bubbles up more than a little bit of concern in me.
I’m not thrilled about holding a gun, but chances are I won’t have to use it. The most I can provide is some company, which is exactly what I’d been trying to avoid this whole time. I guess some talking for tasty food isn’t such a bad bargain.
At least I’ll be getting paid for it with housewife level cooking for my trouble.
***
July 3rd, 2024
1:02 PM
Back inside the tent Penny stands in front of the map on the desk. She’s showing me places she wants to go look at. Apparently they’re points of interest regarding the missing people and we might even find a corpse or two when we go looking. The thought of such a discovery doesn’t make me all that enthusiastic…
“So… here… and here.”
Penny juts a finger on the map twice. “The western parts of the forest seem like a good place to start so I want to check that out first.”
I’m skeptical, but too curious not to ask questions. “What makes you think these spots are going to turn anything up?” I ask, and she looks down at me with a raised eyebrow. “Did you think I just randomly picked all this out of a hat? I spoke with the families of the missing people. Most of them, at least.”
Why is this so important to her? “So you’re trying to help them find their folks? Is that it?” Penny looks at the map with a frown before she says, “What’s left of them. Yeah…” she looks away, and for but a moment I notice her downturned expression barely surfacing prior to snapping out of it with a shake of her head. “Anyway, That’s where we’re starting. Here.”
With that, she gives me some stuff on the table. First is a small flashlight which seems to have some impressive range. When I turn it on and point it at the tent wall a bright white circle illuminates it and I get the feeling it’ll really come in handy if I find myself in a dark place or stranded at night.
Next she hands me a few bandages. I can see she’s got bottles of alcohol on the far edge of the desk, too. She obviously expected to be here a while, but that begs the question...
“… Hey, can I ask you something?” I start, a little nervous.
“Of course, Bishop. Now’s the time.”
“Okay then. Why did nobody else come with you? Why were you planning on doing it alone? You have all these things, and it’s just you?” She doesn’t answer, not right away.
“… There was nobody I was comfortable taking with me. Not for this.”
I mull that over. Does that mean I’m an acceptable liability since we barely know each other? That doesn’t make me angry or anything. I am kind of leeching off her, but if it was just searching for missing people that doesn’t make much sense.
Well, it doesn’t really matter to me. I almost didn’t ask and I can tell she’s not comfortable talking about it further from the expression I see on her face. She’s conflicted, and I know better than to keep prodding further. I hate it when people do that to me.
I put the bandages and flashlight in my jacket, then she takes out something I’m not entirely comfortable with. “Here, this is the most important thing you need to have with you at all times. I know you don’t know how to use it yet, but I’ll teach you.”
She puts the small revolver in my hand and it feels surprisingly heavy.
“Remember, never put your finger over the trigger. Have it resting on the side unless you plan to shoot. Okay?” she asks me, leaning down and eyeing my face for affirmation, but just looking at the thing in both my hands, noticing how I’ve begun to shake a bit.
Penny snaps her fingers a few times in front of my face to get my attention again.
“It’s not hard. Come on, I’ll show you.”
We go to stand outside just a few feet from the tent, and she crouches down to show me proper form and how to aim the thing. I’m still really uncomfortable with the gun, but more than that… her boobs are pushing against my back making me squirm a bit.
“A little higher… yeah. Good. Now, remember this feeling. This stance. Slowly put your hand on the trigger now and keep aiming at that tree.”
She’s put her big hand over mine, and I’m getting really nervous at how much she’s touching me. It’s not arousing to me, I just don’t like being touched, not even by my parents.
I do as she says and squeeze the trigger. The loud bang that sounds out makes my ears ring, but the initial shock washes over me and we try again, and again until all 6 shots are spent. Penny seems satisfied because she let go of me after the 3rd shot, getting me to do it all on my own. Apparently I get a passing grade on this, at least.
“Look at you, already putting Billy the Kid to shame.” she quips.
Despite her wit, I still feel shaken up. The almost too hard clap on my shoulder makes me yelp, causing her to laugh out loud at my distress. Although it was a clear attempt at trying to diffuse my nerves from going further into the realm of fight or flight, I feel a bit of adrenaline from the entire situation. My glare ends up coming off as even more funny to her despite the fact that I’ve immediately begun considering just abandoning her already.
For a moment, I consider cursing her out but instead turn away from her so that she doesn’t see how upset I am. Penny’s laughter turns to low chuckles after a few moments and she seems to go back to the tent to get ready to leave. As she’s inside, I consider making a run for the road and leaving, but I feel stuck in place.
The tightness in my chest and the shakes have started, and although it seems she missed the clear signs of my panic attack, I still feel utterly vulnerable. Looking down at the gun in my hand, it feels much heavier than it did before.
Turning it towards my face, I slowly put it in my mouth and wrap my finger on the trigger, barrel facing up and out the top of my head.
‘It’s not like anyone would even give a shit if you fucking killed yourself’
Click
… Of course.