8. Going Home
Skye and I sat together on a leather sofa that was just as improbable as the dusty rocky landscape that surrounded us. I held a small chunk of stone in my hands as we both faced the huge planet rotating above us. I could actually see the motion of the world with my bare eyes, both the swirling of the clouds and the actual rotation of the planet.
Skye told me that Jupiter rotated quick enough, and Io orbited fast enough, that we could see the movement happening above us.
That was all too much to handle, so instead I focused on the small yellow stone in my hands. I slowly turned it around and around while the teen spoke. She sounded almost wistful as she answered my earlier question, about that teen boy and his parents.
"That was the name I used while I believed I was human. My earliest memories are from grade two, when I was seven years old. Prior to that I may not have existed at all, or I may not have been human. I could find out, but looking at my own past disturbs me."
I sighed as I stared at that piece of rock, "I don't understand how that's possible? What about your mother?"
Skye sighed as well. "Mary Trent and George Murdoch never existed. Last summer I went back to their home for the first time since twenty-twelve and discovered the place had burned down after I left. I was told no-one was hurt in the fire so I assumed they were both ok? Then last autumn I decided to try and look them up. That's when I figured it out. I imagined them. I made them up. Nobody else ever met them or spoke to them. They were names on paper, they got mail and stuff, but ask around. Nobody else ever knew them directly. Nobody else saw them but me."
There was a sick feeling in my stomach but I forced myself to keep staring at that rock rather than look at the impossible creature next to me. "I still don't understand."
"I thought I was a human but at the same time I was doing all those things by instinct. I came into existence and I needed parents, so I imagined some. My imagination sucked though so I dreamed up some neglectful abusive folks to raise me. After Selene helped me figure out who I was, I didn't need them anymore. I stopped thinking about them and they just went away. They were never real, it's not like they died or anything."
Her words still sent a shiver through me regardless. I stole a glance at her, but she just looked like the same petite teen girl, staring sadly at Jupiter as it turned silently before us.
I looked back down at the rock again and asked, "Why a boy?"
"No idea," she shrugged. "Luck of the draw? Sick imagination? I was never happy as a boy. And as soon as I realized I could be whatever I wanted, I was a girl. And a cat. I like being a cat."
She sounded amused as she added, "I sometimes think I was probably a cat before I was a boy? Maybe I was even born that way? Maybe I really do have a mother, maybe she's some stray cat out there somewhere."
Her voice got sad again as she added, "Though if she was, she'd probably be dead now. They don't live that long."
I shook my head, "This is too much to take in. So ok, that explains three of my missing people. And I take it Selene 'removed' the rest of them? Where'd they go, if she didn't kill them?"
Skye was quiet for a few moments, then said "I'll show you."
The sound of birds chirping in the distance startled me and I looked up in confusion. We were sitting in a matching pair of white Muskoka chairs, surrounded by a large neatly-cut lawn. The lawn sloped downwards slightly and a little ways before us was a large pond, with reeds and tall grasses around it, and some tall wildflowers on the left. The lawn extended some distance beyond the pond, but ended at the tree-line of a thick dense wood. Half the trees were all brilliant shades of orange and red and gold, the rest were evergreens.
I turned my head left and right as I stared wide-eyed. The lawn extended all around us, so did the woods. Behind us was an idyllic two-story country home. The exterior was clad in white wood panelling, and there were flower beds planted all around the house, except in front of a door. Through the large windows next to the door I could see what appeared to be a spacious kitchen. Above us the sky was bright, the sun shining, and a few small clouds hung in the distance.
My heart was racing again but I was still clutching that yellow stone in my hands. My souvenir from a moon of Jupiter.
"Where are we now?" I asked nervously.
Skye replied, "This is our home, where Selene and I live. She made it to mimic a place on Earth. There's even a moon which stays in sync with the Earth's moon. You wouldn't know it's not really Earth, except there's no cell service here and you won't see any planes fly overhead. And at night there's no satellites crossing the sky, and the stars are different. No pollution either. Oh and it's a lot smaller too. The woods only go for about five or six kilometres around the house, then you get to the end of the world."
My hands shook slightly and I took a few deep breaths to try and calm myself.
"Look there," she said as she pointed towards the wildflowers next to the pond.
It took me a second or two to see what she was pointing at. A pretty little green hummingbird was hovering about, darting in to collect some nectar before pulling back again.
"Ok," I said as I watched it. "Is it real?"
Skye nodded, "Yeah. All the flora and fauna here is real. It's a miniature ecosystem. There's no big predators, so it's relatively peaceful. Not self-supporting though, it's too small for that, so Selene has to take care of it. Like if it was a big garden or something?"
"Ok," I said again. "So why are you showing me this?"
She replied, "You wanted to know what happened to that council guy? That's him, the hummingbird."
I felt a wave of nausea as I stared at the tiny thing continuing to harvest nectar, and Selene's words echoed in my head.
'I removed him from reality and changed him into something much less prone to violence.'
My hands were shaking again and I finally stuffed that rock into my jeans pocket so I didn't drop it.
My voice was just as shaky as I asked, "Why are you showing me all this? Why are you telling me this? You're not going to let me go, are you? You've told me too much."
She turned and frowned at me, "I'm not going to hurt you. And neither Selene or I are going to do anything nasty to you. You're not a bad person. You've struggled and suffered a lot, I'm not going to make that worse for you."
"But you aren't going to let me go either," I said quietly. "So what's going to happen?"
Skye replied, "I'm going to give you what you could have had thirty years ago. What you should have had thirty years ago. Gloria never meant to hurt you, and if you hadn't run away after that then you might have found Selene the same time your friend did. Your life might have been a whole lot better. And that's a mistake I can fix."
I turned to look at her and frowned, "How? Don't tell me you're going to go back in time and change the past."
"Nah," she replied. "I could, but honestly it's not worth the lectures I'd get from Selene. She's a real stickler for not messing with history. Frankly I think it's hypocritical of her because she messes with reality all the time and I don't see the distinction? I mean whether you go back in time and mess with the past or you change reality in the present, either way you're splitting timelines. Like seriously, it's like saying you can't do five minus one but two plus two is totally ok? Either way you get four so who cares?"
I just stared silently, I didn't even know what to say to that.
Finally I asked, "So what are you going to do?"
She gestured in the direction of the pond again and said, "Eyes forward."
I turned and nearly choked. We were at the back of a classroom full of teenage students, Skye and I were both seated at a pair of desks. The teacher was an older gentleman, writing out a math formula on the blackboard. Half the students looked bored, a few were playing with their phones, the other half were paying attention.
Skye's desk was empty but there was a textbook and notebook on mine. According to the textbook, this was grade twelve algebra.
"That's mister Keebler," the brunette stated. "Nice to see he's still teaching. A word of warning, he's got eyes in the back of his head and he likes springing pop-quizzes on a regular basis. Oh and keep your voice down, nobody can hear me but they'll hear you."
I whispered as softly as I could, "Why are we here?"
"I told you," she replied. "Fixing that mistake from thirty years ago? Giving you what you should have had from the beginning?"
I shook my head at her as I whispered, "I don't understand."
Skye pointed at the front of the class again, "You should be paying attention. He's going to ask you a question."
My head turned towards the front of the class just as the teacher turned around to look at his students. Our eyes met and he frowned at me while my heart skipped a beat. I was positive he was about to ask who I was and what the hell I was doing in his classroom. So I was absolutely not prepared at all for the words that actually came out of his mouth.
"Miss Collier, what do you think the answer is?" he gestured behind him, at the formula he'd just written out.
I stared at him like a deer caught in headlights. I shook my head slightly and replied "I'm sorry, I don't know..."
My voice trailed off and I'm sure my eyes almost bulged out of my head. That wasn't my voice, it was a lot softer and higher-pitched than I was used to. Then I realized he'd called me 'miss' Collier. My heart started racing and I glanced down at my desk again.
My name was written on the corner of the notebook in pretty flowing letters. My true name, the one I first wished for over three decades ago. Emily Collier. The two i's were even dotted with tiny hearts, just like I imagined in my youth.
I was still staring downwards as the next thing hit me. My button-down shirt and autumn jacket were missing, and instead I was wearing a long-sleeve purple scoop-neck top. And looking down I had a pretty good view of my cleavage. I could even see the frilly pink trim of my bra.
Mr. Keebler continued droning on about the lesson but fortunately he was ignoring me again while I stared at myself. I was still wearing jeans but they were a very different style and size than I was used to. And on my feet were a pair of cute white and pink sneakers.
My hands trembled slightly as I looked at them. They were slim and soft, with long delicate fingers. My nails were painted with pink polish. My backpack was slung over the back of the chair behind me. I could feel my long hair tickling against my neck and my shoulders when I moved my head.
And through all of this, Skye continued sitting quietly to my right.
Eventually the bell rang and the rest of the students got up, gathering their books and things. I did the same, then followed numbly out of the classroom. Skye walked alongside me and the two of us ducked into the girls washroom two doors down from Keebler's room. And there in the mirror I got the first good look at myself.
Hazel eyes, auburn hair, a cute rounded face. I was still taller than Skye but only by an inch or two. I guessed my height at about five-foot-five or maybe five-six.
"You're seventeen years old," the brunette stated softly. "And obviously you're a girl. It's what you were meant to be, Emily. What you could have been thirty years ago, if things had worked out differently."
I turned to look at her, "I don't... What..."
She smiled slightly, "It's ok. Just relax and take it as it comes. You'll be fine."
"What about the investigation?" I finally asked, once I could form sentences again. "They sent me because Phil Duncan went missing. When they realize I've gone missing, they'll send more than just one detective."
Skye shook her head, "Don't worry about that. Selene and I will be fine. I'm going to go now. Math was your last class today so you should head on home, all right?"
I frowned, "I don't know where home is? I mean, my apartment's in Orillia..."
"Just follow your heart Emily, you'll be fine."
I tried to question her but she was already gone. And I was still numb.
I was basically on autopilot as I wandered down the hall to my locker. I dialled the combination by muscle memory and pulled out a cute powder-blue jacket, then automatically stuffed the books I didn't need in and pulled the ones I did need out. Books went in my backpack, I put the jacket on and closed my locker, then wandered out of the school.
From there I followed the exact same path I walked every day thirty years ago as I made my way home. I was still numb as I walked in the side door and dumped my backpack on one of the chairs at the kitchen table.
Then mom came into the kitchen and smiled, "Hi honey, how was school?"
"Mom?!" I stared for a split second then dashed to her and wrapped her in the tightest hug I could manage.
She had no idea what to make of it as I collapsed sobbing in her arms.