MiSide: Taming Crazy Mita

In the warm and quiet living room, Ren Hoshino was busy mixing canned food and sugar—improvised ingredients for a homemade bomb.

It was surprisingly effective.

At least, it was… before Crazy Mita caught him. She'd confiscated everything.

Thud!

A dull sound came from the bedroom.

Ren stood up and opened the door. He found Sleepy Mita collapsed on the floor, fast asleep.

"…What are you doing? Why are you even up?"

He walked over, crouched beside her, and gently pushed her shoulder.

"Mmm?"

She opened her eyes sleepily. Upon seeing it was Ren, her eyelids fluttered closed again like instinct.

"Hey, wake up. Don't sleep on the floor—it's cold."

Sleepy Mita blinked slowly. "Ah… what was I doing just now?"

"Right… a bath. I haven't showered in days."

Ren thought back. She'd been here four days now—mostly eating and sleeping. That's all. He half-joked to himself that maybe beautiful girls didn't need to bathe.

But this was beyond that. Would she even stay awake in the shower?

"Well, go on then. Wash up. Then come back and sleep."

"Let me sleep a little longer…"

"…I'll go in a bit…"

Ren sighed. He couldn't just let her lie there on the floor.

"I'll help you."

He lifted her up gently and guided her to sit on a small stool in the bathroom.

"Hold on. I'll get the hot water going."

He turned on the shower.

"Thanks," Mita mumbled, eyes half-closed. "You're always helping me…"

She nodded drowsily mid-sentence and almost fell again.

"All right. Shower's ready. I'll leave you to it."

Ren stepped out and closed the bathroom door behind him.

I feel like I'm raising a daughter, he thought. Food, clothes, sleep… she's maxed out on cuteness, but zero energy.

Still, maybe that's exactly why Crazy Mita didn't see her as a threat. Her apathy, her laziness—it probably made her invisible in this brutal world.

Ren resumed his bomb-making.

Half an hour passed.

He finished assembling one, then peeked into the bedroom—still no sign of Sleepy Mita.

The sound of water still echoed from the bathroom.

He walked over and knocked.

"Mita? You didn't fall asleep in there, did you?"

No answer.

He knocked again, louder.

A voice finally came from inside.

"Ah… I was so sleepy I… fell asleep standing…"

"…Just a minute… almost done…"

Another half hour went by. Ren had moved on to making lunch when Sleepy Mita finally emerged—dripping wet, and wearing nothing.

Seeing her in that state, Ren felt like he was about to lose his mind.

Ren was at the stove, apron on.

Why do I feel like you just dragged me here to be your housemaid?

As she nearly collapsed onto the bed again, Ren stopped her.

"Dry off. Put on clothes. Blow-dry your hair before sleeping again."

"I'm really sleepy," she said, swaying. "Ren… help me…"

She looked like she'd fall face-first any second.

"No one visits this place," Ren muttered. "How do you even live alone?"

He opened the closet and took out fresh pajamas.

"That's just how it is…"

"…Sleep, wake up… repeat…"

"You fell asleep in the shower?"

He dressed her himself—helping her into her underwear, pulling on a soft red pajama set, buttoning it carefully.

She just mumbled sleepily the entire time.

Ren led her to sit in front of the vanity mirror. He plugged in the hairdryer and began drying her long, navy-blue hair. His hands worked through the strands gently, brushing them aside with care.

When he was done, he unplugged the dryer.

"Go to bed by yourse—"

Too late. She was already asleep again.

Ren gave up. Calling her name was useless now.

He carried her in his arms and laid her gently on the bed.

Then, he walked back to the bathroom and scooped up all the wet clothes scattered on the floor—underwear and all—and tossed them into the washing machine.

Separate loads? Hand-wash delicates? Yeah, right. No one's got time for that.

Once everything was cleaned up, Ren finally sat down at the computer, downloaded the latest AAA game, and started playing.

At least this counts as rest.

"It's almost time to make dinner," he muttered, glancing at the clock.

Before that, he opened the forums.

As usual, he was tagged everywhere.

"Yo, where's Mita today?"

"You're hiding her, huh? Don't want to share with the bros?"

"Mr. when are we gonna get your next update?"

As ridiculous as always…

Ren replied casually:

"I was giving Sleepy Mita a bath. She fell asleep mid-shower. Don't ask."

Replies came immediately:

"Yeah right. You can lie to us, but don't lie to yourself."

"No pics, no proof. C'mon, drop the shots first."

"So what happened next, huh? You go in with her?"

"Taking advantage while she's asleep?"

"I wanna play Sleepy Mita toooo~ 😭😭😭"

Ren typed back:

"No."

And more followed:

"Bro, if you didn't do anything, you're worse than a beast."

"If it were me, I'd have already emptied the mag."

"OP, if you don't know how to play Mita, let me try—speedrun style."

"You're not even playing, man. Sleepy Mita doesn't move! I'd be done in two minutes."

"Poster, you're only qualified to be the deer standing next to me."

"So what? Where are the pics? You just gonna talk forever?"

Ren posted a photo: Sleepy Mita, her hair mid-dry, slumped in front of the mirror, fast asleep.

"She fell asleep in the bathroom. Came out naked. I changed her, dried her hair, did the laundry. I swear I'm just her babysitter at this point."

"I'm done for now. Gotta make dinner."

The replies blew up.

"No way. She came out NAKED and you did NOTHING? You're a poet."

"Bro, you dropped $$$ for this Mita and all you're doing is brushing her hair?"

"If it were me, I'd have three kids by now."

"Awwww Sleepy Mita's so cute. Falling asleep while her hair's being dried… I'm in love."

"I want a Sleepy Mita too…"

Ren smirked as he read the comments.

Originally, he'd joined the forum just to find useful tricks—or warnings from other players.

Now? It was more like therapy. His only link to reality.

At least this gave him something lighthearted.

A moment to breathe.

Later, after dinner was ready, Ren walked into the bedroom.

"Mita. Wake up. It's time to eat."

He didn't wait for her to respond—because he knew she wouldn't.

He simply lifted her from the bed, tucked her under his arms like a pillow, and placed her into the chair at the dining table.

As if sensing food, Sleepy Mita stirred.

"Oh… dinner?"