Minato with a Gacha

The Shinigami's mark had crawled past my hip now, its skeletal fingers etched into my skin like frostbite. Every step sent needles of phantom pain radiating through my nerves. Danzo's scroll lay burned to ash in the trash, but his words festered in my mind. Feed it, and live.

Konoha's night sky sprawled above me, stars blotted out by storm clouds. I stood on the Hokage Tower's roof, fists clenched, the village's flickering lanterns mocking my resolve. Below, a clone crafted from [Danny Phantom's Duplication (Nickelodeon). Penalty: Ectoplasmic Decay – 12-hour lifespan] sat at my desk, scribbling fake mission reports. It wouldn't fool Kushina for long.

Deidara. The name tasted like ash. A terrorist. A future Akatsuki bomber. A man who'd level entire villages for his "art." If I had to sacrifice a soul to the Shinigami, better his than some kid.

[Quest Updated: Hunt Deidara of Iwagakure. Accept? Y/N]

I selected Y.

The forest blurred as I shot through the trees, cloaked in [Solid Snake's Optical Camouflage (Metal Gear Solid). Penalty: Battery Drain – 30-minute cooldown.] Moonlight bent around me, rendering me invisible to the ANBU patrols. A squirrel froze mid-scamper, sensing the displacement of air as I leapt over it.

At the border, the first obstacle: Konoha's barrier seals. Glowing kanji pulsed in the air, designed to alert the village to unauthorized exits.

[Ability Activated: Corvo's Blink (Dishonored). Penalty: Temporal Nausea – Vertigo for 5 minutes.]

The world fractured into blue-tinted still frames. I teleported past the barrier in three rapid bursts, landing in a crouch as my stomach lurched. Bile rose in my throat, but I swallowed it. No time.

Two days later, the rocky spires of Iwagakure jutted from the horizon like broken teeth. The Stone Village. Home to paranoid earth-style specialists and Deidara's former masters.

[Ability Activated: Batman's Stealth Takedowns (DC). Penalty: Detective Mode Overload – Auditory hallucinations.]

Shadows became allies. I slithered through patrols, my movements silent as I disabled guards with pressure-point strikes. One Stone ninja crumpled, his gasp muffled by my palm. Another fell mid-yawn, collapsing into a snoring heap.

"You're no Hokage," Kushina's voice hissed in my ear—a hallucination. 

"Shut up," I muttered, scaling the outer wall with [Lara Croft's Climbing Axes (Tomb Raider). Penalty: Grip Fatigue – Hand tremors.]

A skill I used showed Deidara in an abandoned quarry west of the village. "Abandoned" was a stretch. The place teemed with clay-molded sentries—spider-shaped explosives the size of horses, their bellies glowing with unstable chakra.

[Ability Activated: Samus' Scan Visor (Metroid). Penalty: Ocular Strain – Temporary color blindness.]

A holographic overlay highlighted the traps. Tripwires. Pressure plates. And at the center of the maze, a cave pulsing with heat. Deidara's workshop.

I palmed a pebble, hurling it at a spider sentry. The creature skittered toward the noise, detonating in a chain reaction that vaporized half the quarry.

Subtlety's overrated.

[Ability Activated: Spider-Man's Web Swing (Marvel). Penalty: Web Fluid Depletion – Stranded if overused.]

I catapulted over the flames, silk strands snapping against scorched rock. The cave entrance loomed, sealed by a boulder etched with Deidara's insignia—a stylized explosion.

[Ability Activated: Kratos' Strength (God of War). Penalty: Tendon Microtears – Reduced mobility.]

The boulder shattered. Inside, the walls glittered with clay sculptures—dragons, birds, a grotesque replica of the Hokage Monument. And there he was: Deidara, blonde hair tied in a ponytail, molding a lump of C1 clay into a hummingbird.

"Hm?" He didn't look up.

Deidara flicked the hummingbird at me. It detonated mid-air, forcing me to dive behind a stalagmite.

[Ability Activated: Hologram Captain America's Shield Throw (Marvel's Next avengers). Penalty: Rotator Cuff Tear – Non-dominant arm disabled.]

The vibranium shield ricocheted off the walls, shearing through clay scorpions as they skittered toward me. Deidara grinned, leaping onto a clay owl.

"Konoha's Hokage, sneaking into my studio? Where's the honor, yeah?"

"Retired," I spat, activating [Ezio's Hidden Blade (Assassin's Creed). Penalty: Wrist Ligament Sprain – 50% accuracy loss.]

The blade grazed his ribs as he vaulted away, blood splattering his white cloak. He scowled, biting his thumb to mix blood with clay.

"C2 Dragon!"

The sculpture erupted to life, a serpentine monster with wings of folded paper bombs. It dive-bombed, explosions ripping the cave apart.

[Emergency Protocol: Tracer's Recall (Overwatch). Penalty: Temporal Displacement – 10 seconds of time blindness.]

I rewound to safety just as the dragon's fire engulfed my previous position. Deidara's eyes widened.

"Time manipulation? "

He wasn't even breathing hard.

[Ability Activated: Green Arrow's Trick Arrows (DC). Penalty: Quiver Misfire – 1 in 5 arrows duds.]

I summoned and loosed an acid-tipped arrow at his owl. The mount dissolved, but Deidara flipped mid-fall, landing on a clay platform.

"C4 Karura!"

The tiny spider-like explosive skittered toward me—nanoscale bombs that burrow into flesh.

[Ability Activated: Doctor Strange's Mirror Dimension (Marvel). Penalty: Dimensional Drift – Risk of permanent entrapment.]

Reality folded. The cave walls became kaleidoscopic fractals, trapping the C4 in a recursive loop. Deidara stared, his smirk finally fading.

"What… is this?"

"Cheating," I said, lunging with [Scorpion's Spear (Mortal Kombat). Penalty: Tendon Strain – Legs temporarily paralyzed.]

The chain wrapped his torso, yanking him into a chokehold. He thrashed, biting into another clay lump, but I slammed his wrist into the ground until bones cracked.

"Yield."

"Never!" He spat in my face.

[Ability Activated: Magneto's Helmet (Marvel). Penalty: Neural Feedback – Migraines.]

His next clay bird veered off-course, detonating harmlessly against the cave wall.

"Your art's a liability," I growled. "And I need a sacrifice."

The Shinigami's mark flared as I dragged Deidara into the forest. He'd passed out from blood loss, muttering about "unfinished masterpieces."

I carved the Dead Demon Consuming Seal into the dirt, my blood mingling with ink. The air turned frigid.

"A soul," the Shinigami's voice echoed. "At last."

Deidara stirred, his one good eye widening. "Wait—!"

The ritual consumed him. His body disintegrated, soul torn screaming into the Shinigami's maw. The mark on my leg receded, pain ebbing to a dull throb.

[Quest Complete: Shinigami's Debt Repaid.]

[New Penalty: Guilt of the Damned – Nightmares of Deidara's final moments. Permanent.]

I vomited into the dirt.

The clone at my desk dissolved into ectoplasmic ooze as I staggered into the Hokage Tower. Kushina stood in the doorway, arms crossed.

"Where were you?"

"Classified."

She stepped closer, sniffing. "You reek of explosives. And… blood."

"Training accident."

Her eyes narrowed, but she didn't press and left.

Deidara's scream still echoed in my skull.

Worth it, I told myself.

But the nightmares had already begun.