Maybe a Fake Gintama

Planet Heiwa, in the corner of the Milky Way.

Once, this place was also a planet full of life and vitality. Countless lives were reproducing here, but these were all ended by a war ten years ago.

Ten years ago, this planet was involved in an interstellar war. From that moment on, the entire planet no longer had the vitality from before the war. Most of the lives were lost in the war, and the rest of the people who could escape had all escaped. As for those who could not escape, they could only survive in the destroyed and safe environment of the war, waiting for the end of their lives.

From then on, as time went on, the number of lives that lived on the Heiwa planet became fewer and fewer…. Until the third year, there was no longer any life on the safe planet, becoming a true "dead planet".

The environment of the entire planet was no longer suitable for life because of the influence of war. From then on, no one came here again.

However, just as all life on this planet disappeared, somewhere on this planet, another life was born.

.....

Seven years later.

"Who am I?"

Kawaki had asked himself more than once, but no one here could answer him because there was no one else here except him.

'You are Kawaki.'

A voice said in his mind, but it was only this sentence. After that, Kawaki never heard any similar voice.

Kawaki lived alone on this planet. When he was hungry, he ate a special kind of crystal. Kawaki did not know why he wanted to eat that kind of thing. It might just be an instinct of his body. When he was thirsty, he drank dirty water. When he was sleepy, he found a place to sleep. Kawaki had lived like this for seven years.

Kawaki did not know why he had the concept of seven years, but he did know.

Until one day...

Kawaki suddenly woke up from his sleep. The smell of the same kind! Kawaki was shocked and staggered to get up.

After seven years, Kawaki's height had grown to 1.2 meters. His orange-red hair looked a little dirty, and his light blue pupils shone with a strange light even in the dark. The clothes were ragged clothes that were picked up and casually wrapped around his body. The residence was a dark cave.

"Who is there?" A man's voice came.

"You take a step back first. I have an uneasy feeling." Another woman's voice sounded.

"Of course, a man has to stand in front of a woman. Otherwise, would he still be a man?" The man chattered on. "Don't look at me like this. I am a standard chauvinist..."

But with a "ka!" sound, the man's voice stopped, and the woman's voice sounded again at this time, "It's so troublesome."

Hearing this, Kawaki carefully stuck out his little head. It was the first time he had ever seen an existence, no, two existences since his birth.

A man with messy hair, holding a big umbrella in his hand, sat on the ground and rubbed his head. And the woman with blue pupils, beautiful white skin, braided hair had the same orange-red hair as him. —-The right side of her bangs had side hair, and there was dull hair on her head. She wore a white, golden-edged qipao, also holding a light blue umbrella in her hand, and there was a pipe at her waist.

At this moment, the woman was looking at him with her beautiful eyes.

"It turns out to be a little kid. I didn't expect that there would be humans on this destroyed planet." The man relaxed, "Little Kid, come here."

As he spoke, he waved at Kawaki.

"I didn't expect that Umibozu would also make a mistake. He isn't just a simple little kid." The woman's eyes lingered on Kawaki for a long time before she suddenly smiled and said.

"Is that so? Is he like Conan? There is something else hidden in his small body... Ah!"

Before Umibozu could finish his words, he was sent flying by the woman's punch.

"Kouka, can you stop hitting me in front of outsiders? I am also a man, right? A famous man, right? It will affect my reputation and work if it is spread out, okay? Of course, it doesn't matter if I am at home. I can cooperate with you if you want to be like this. This is a man..."

"Come over here. That little brat over there, we are not your enemies." Kouka ignored the still chattering Umibozu and smiled at Kawaki.

However, Kawaki did not go over. Because of some kind of body instinct, he felt that the two people in front of him were dangerous.

"What a cute little brat."

The mocking voice of Umibozu suddenly came from behind Kawaki. At this time, Kawaki suddenly noticed that the man who was clearly in front of him just now had disappeared.

Kawaki just wanted to turn around, but a pair of hands had already locked him. One hand was pressing on his head, and the other hand had unknowingly locked his hands behind his back.

"Let... Let go... me!"

Kawaki had never spoken to anyone. This was the first time Kawaki had spoken, so he spoke very stiffly.

However, the man who was called Umibozu by the woman behind him did not intend to let go of Kawaki. Kawaki kept struggling, but he could not struggle free.

"Don't make me lose face in front of the woman I like, you little brat. This is the first time I have met a woman I like in my life. This is the first time I have brought the woman I like out for a trip. If you make me lose face, it will be very difficult for me to do it..." Umibozu continued to say things.

"Who... who cares... you!" Kawaki kept struggling and kicked at a certain part of Umibozu's body.

"Oh!"

Umibozu cried out in pain, and at the same time, loosened his hands that were holding Kawaki and covered his lower body in a strange posture, "You...you...you damned brat. Do you want me to cut off my children? I just found my girlfriend and haven't had time to use this [beep-] that has been idle for so long. Is my [beep-] okay? My [beep—] won't be broken, right? I won't be able to launch [beep --] [beep --] again!"

"Yes, yes. It broke your brain as well. That's great." Kouka casually ridiculed.

When he heard the woman's voice, Kawaki was shocked. He subconsciously turned around.

However, the next moment, Kawaki was stunned because the woman did not attack him. Instead, she hugged him from behind.

"Kouka, you..." Umibozu was also stunned. After a long while, he shouted in disbelief, "Kouka, are you a shotacon?"

"Did your senses also go to hell with your lower body?! This kid is the same as me."

Kouka was too lazy to ridicule him.

"Massaka(Don't tell me)..."

"This child is the master of this planet." Kouka replied, "However, it is slightly different from me."

After saying that, Kouka lowered her head and looked gently at Kawaki, who turned his head to look at him.

"If that is the case, then it makes sense. How could there be a kid on this dying planet…." Umibozu said in a rare serious tone.

"Don't be afraid, child. From now on, you won't be so lonely anymore." Kouka's gentle voice sounded. At the same time, Kawaki felt a kind of warmth, a strange warmth that he had felt for the first time since he was born, from somewhere in his body.

"What is your name?" Kouka continued.

"Ka... Kawaki." As Kawaki spoke, for some reason, the corners of his eyes became moist. A liquid that he had never seen before flowed down his cheeks from the corner of his eyes. "This... What is this?"

"This is tears, a kind of existence that comes from a person's happiness or sadness," Kouka replied with a smile.

"Tears? Happy or sad?" Kawaki was a little confused, and he reached out his little hand to touch the tears on his face. Then he put his finger into his mouth and said, "Annoying smell."

Kawaki's action made Kouka and Umibozu laugh.

"Little brat, you are not at the age where you can taste the taste of tears."

Seeing that there was no danger, Umibozu casually sat on the ground. Then, he said to Kawaki, "Things like tears will highlight different flavors as a person grows older. It will be sour, bitter, spicy, and salty. When you can taste all of this, you will be considered a true adult."

"Sir? Are you two adults? What kind of creatures are adults?" Kawaki asked curiously. After a few words, Kawaki's words became more and more smooth, at least no longer stumbling.

"Haven't you seen any creatures other than us?" Umibozu asked in a daze.

Kawaki shook his head.

"How did you learn to talk and think?" Umibozu continued to ask.

Kawaki shook his head again.

"You know everything from birth? You are indeed amazing. You are indeed the Master of Heiwa." Umibozu sighed with emotion.

"Let's take him away." At this time, Kouka, who was still holding Kawaki, spoke up.

"Take him away? Isn't he the Master of Heiwa? This Planet? If he takes him away, wouldn't he..." Hearing this, Umibozu hurriedly replied.

"As I said, his situation is different from mine. The dragon vein of this planet no longer exists. What exists is only himself."

"What do you mean?" Umibozu asked.

"He ate the entire dragon vein of this planet!" Kouka ignored the shocked look in Umibozu's eyes and continued, "I guess the dragon vein of this planet should not be strong and should be about to disappear completely. However, the weak dragon vein has its own consciousness. It chose to let this child be born and sent everything into this child's body."

"What are you talking about?" Kawaki did not understand at all.

"It's nothing. It's normal for a child not to understand the words of an adult. It's just like how you can't understand the taste of tears." Umibozu casually fooled Kawaki.

"In other words, can this child leave this planet and survive?" Umibozu continued to look at Kouka and asked.

Kouka nodded and asked Kawaki, "Are you willing to leave here with us?"