Maybe a Fake Gintama

"Kagura-chan, I didn't spoil you for nothing~" Kawaki looked at Kagura with gentle eyes and praised softly, "You found such a useful guy at a time like this."

"Hehe..." Kagura rubbed her nose, squinted her eyes, and grinned.

"Wait, I haven't agreed yet." Tsukuyo walked over, one hand on her chest, the other lightly pinching a cigarette, and glanced at Iwamatsu before her, "Can such a man be a replacement? He seems too fragile to endure any blows."

"Miss, don't underestimate..." Iwamatsu's face showed a straightforward smile, and then he shook his head gently, but before he could finish speaking, he was interrupted by Kawaki beside him.

"What are you saying? Tsukuyo?" Kawaki spread out his hands, sighed, and said, "However you look at it, he's a good replacement. Anyway, let's use this guy to vent our frustrations today! Don't worry about money! Leave it all to me!"

Listening to Kawaki's words, Tsukuyo began to ponder, chin in hand.

At this moment, Kawaki familiarly put his arm around Iwamatsu's shoulder, leaned close to his ear, and whispered, "By the way, can your job be contracted monthly? Or yearly? If possible, you should stay in Yoshihara in the future..."

"Major... major client!!" Iwamatsu's heart leaped with joy, and then he looked at Kagura with a grateful expression, "Even though today we encountered the silver-haired natural curls and sunglasses uncle who fell into the dark abyss, strange terrorists, and annoying police officers, but... finally, finally received a normal job! That's great!!"

"You said you had no money left when you asked for pocket money yesterday, Aru?" With narrowed eyes, Kagura looked at Kawaki disdainfully, "Were you lying to me, Aru?"

"I don't have any money left for this month, but now I have a high-value substitute..." Kawaki nodded and replied, then picked up a red and white game console that had just been broken by Tsukuyo and himself, along with an FC cartridge labeled "Contra" from the side, "How about this?!"

"Is it just a broken red and white game console and an FC cartridge?!" Iwamatsu exclaimed, "Finally, is it time for the more classic 'Contra' after 'Swallowing the Sky and Earth' and 'Sun Wukong's Great Adventure'?! What's next? It should be 'Super Mario'! And the game console and cartridge have 'Xiao Meng' written on them! Is it yours again?! Xiao Meng!!"

"Aha, I suddenly wanted to play some older shooting games." Kawaki scratched his head and laughed awkwardly.

"Who cares?!"

Kawaki cleared his throat twice, then put on a severe expression, "Ignorant modern people! Do you think these things have no value? No! Although the era of red-and-white machines and FC has passed, some people like me suddenly feel nostalgic! So the red and white machine and FC are timeless..."

"Shut up! I don't want to hear such cryptic lines!" Iwamatsu retorted, then pointed to the broken red and white machine in Kawaki's hand, "That red and white machine is already broken, right? It's completely smashed! What are you thinking about borrowing things from others and then breaking them? Are you not even a little guilty?!"

(PS: In the Japanese version of Contra, after completing the first level, holding down the select and start buttons during the scroll at the end (when the helicopter flies off the island), you can see a hidden telegram: "Foolish earthlings, do you think this means the 'Red Falcon' is completely exterminated? Although our Earth frontline base is gone, the compensation work was completed long ago. We, 'Red Falcon,' are eternal...")

"Just don't mind these little things~" Kawaki shrugged indifferently, then stuffed the broken red and white machine and cartridge into Iwamatsu's arms and gave a thumbs-up while winking, "Nice to meet you! By the way, the cheat code for Thirty Lives is..."

"I know! Everyone knows that kind of cheat!" Iwamatsu retorted, "And that kind of thing is unimportant! I never said I wanted it! Besides, this belongs to Xiao Meng, right?! How can you just give away borrowed things to others?! Apologize to me... no, to Xiao Meng! You! "

"Tsukuyo, it's okay now." Ignoring Iwamatsu's complaints completely, Kawaki turned to Tsukuyo, who was still pondering beside him and made an OK gesture.

"Do you ever listen to others?!" Iwamatsu shouted in frustration.

"I'll just give it a try." Tsukuyo nodded slightly, then picked up a bottle of sake from somewhere, raised her head, and started drinking.

"Great!" Taking advantage of Tsukuyo's drinking, Kagura turned to Iwamatsu, who was still contemplating, and said, "Your beaten-up room has finally opened for business today, and you even got paid."

"Can this be called payment?" Iwamatsu looked at the broken red and white machine and cartridge in his hand, silently lamenting.

However, Iwamatsu shook his head gently, with a slight smile of relief, "Well, forget it; at least the business has started today."

But just as he finished speaking, Iwamatsu suddenly sensed something wrong, or rather, he felt a sense of unease emanating from Tsukuyo, who had just thrown the sake bottle on the ground and was belching.

"Wait..." Iwamatsu was about to say something, but the drunken Tsukuyo punched him in the face before he could react.

"Ugh!" Iwamatsu cried in pain as he was sent flying several meters away by the punch.

At the same time, realizing that the situation was getting out of hand, Kawaki and Kagura silently took two steps back toward the door and closed it.

A minute later, after the screams from Tsukuyo's laughter and the sound of impact ceased, Kawaki cautiously opened the door and peeked into the room.

"What's wrong? Do you also want to play games?" Standing at the door, Tsukuyo half-closed her eyes and burped, looking down at Kawaki.

"No... no need," Kawaki replied, his face covered in cold sweat.

"It's too late!!" Tsukuyo reached out and pierced through the door, then pulled Kawaki into the room by his hair.

"Ouch, ouch, ouch!" Tears welled up in Kawaki's eyes.

Five minutes later, Kagura dragged the bruised and swollen Iwamatsu, who had passed out, with rolling eyes, to the door, squinting at Kawaki, who was still being tortured, and the laughing Tsukuyo, who was still torturing him, and said, "We're leaving Aru, Uncle, and Tsukuyo."

"Oh, goodbye." Kawaki, immobilized by Tsukuyo's lock technique, weakly replied, "Be careful on your way back... Ouch, ouch, ouch! My waist... my waist is about to break! Ahhh!"

Watching this scene, Kagura remained silent for a while, then gently closed the door and left, dragging Iwamatsu's leg.

...

Late at night, in Kawaki's room, he sat up on the floor, his clothes torn and tattered from Tsukuyo's torture, and sighed slightly as he stretched his shoulders and neck.

Shaking his head helplessly, Kawaki looked at Tsukuyo, who was lying on the ground with a bottle of sake in her arms, still flushed from the alcohol, and whispered to himself, "I guess that should let off some steam..."

With that, Kawaki stood up, picked up Tsukuyo, who was still asleep, effortlessly in a princess carry, and then walked towards the door.

After taking Tsukuyo to her room and tucking her into bed, Kawaki covered her with a blanket, then turned around and calmly left Tsukuyo's room.

It wasn't until Kawaki gently closed the door that Tsukuyo slowly opened her eyes, turned her head towards the door, and murmured, "What an idiotic man..."

The next day, at breakfast time.

Watching Kawaki and Tsukuyo still bickering at the dining table, Shinsuke quietly commented, "No difference from yesterday..."

Tsukuyo smiled and shook her head, then looked at Kawaki and Tsukuyo, who were still arguing, and sighed softly, "Indeed, no change at all..."

...

[Chapter Two! Since the last chapter ended too soon, let's start the next chapter's story!]

One day, at night, Kagura walked side by side with Gin-san on a brightly lit street alley, holding a wooden basin while Gin-san held a bag with toiletries.

"You may have already forgotten~" Kagura hummed softly with her hair tied in twin ponytails, "Using a red handkerchief as a scarf~ Walking together into the public bathhouse by the street~."

(PS: Kagura is humming the classic folk song "Kanda River")

"Hey, do you want to be thrown into the Kanda River?" Gin-san, somewhat impatiently, said, "The guy who choked on water and went crazy destroying the bathroom should stay quiet."

As soon as Gin-san finished speaking, the two arrived at the entrance of the bathhouse with the sign "Edo Money Bath" hanging overhead. Then, they both opened the door and walked in.

"Adults 200 yen, children 100 yen." The kind old lady at the counter, whose teeth were almost falling out, said to the two in front of her.

"Don't treat me like a child," Kagura retorted, "I'm already a grown-up girl, so charge me an extra 100 yen!"

"Don't say unnecessary things," Gin-san said after placing two 100 yen coins in front of the old lady, "My heart is still that of a young man, so let's just charge us 200 yen together."

After saying that, Gin-san bent down to lift the curtain of the men's bath and opened the door.

"Gin-chan," Kagura leaned on the counter, tilted her head pitifully to Gin-san, "Give me another 100 yen. I want to drink coffee milk after the bath, Aru."