Master of the System

Eula stared at the black potato chip in her hand. When light shone on it at just the right angle, a purple sheen came off of the chip. The color of it reminded her of a deadly nightshade berry, a common poison used in assassination. She knew what the berry looked like thanks to the teachings of her mother. When she was younger, her mother was afraid of Eula being killed, so a comprehensive lesson in anti-assassination took place. Honestly, she didn’t remember most of it, but she did remember the berry because of how tasty it looked. Eula opened her mouth wide and stuffed the potato chip into her mouth. She crunched down, and a burst of light appeared in her vision. It felt like someone had struck her head with a mace, causing her to see stars—except it didn’t hurt.

Eula stopped chewing, and her vision returned to normal. There were still remains of the chip in her mouth, so she chewed once more. Her vision turned starry again, and the more she chewed, the more the stars swirled and appeared. What was odd was the potato chips didn’t taste like anything. Rather than producing a taste, they produced a vision. The way the stars swirled and danced, they looked quite pretty. Eula was enlightened. It seemed like the movements of the stars contained a heavenly law, and if she could grasp how they moved, her cultivation would advance by leaps and bounds. Right when she was about to understand something, the vision disappeared. The potato chip in her mouth had been chewed into mush, and the only thing left to do was swallow. Eula brought a cup of water up to her mouth, and with a gulp, she washed down her disappointment and the remains of the chip.

Even though she was a bit disappointed, Eula wasn’t discouraged. She had a thousand bags of space-flavored chips—all the vending machine had to offer. If she couldn’t achieve enlightenment with one chip, she’d eat another. Right before she could put another chip in her mouth, a twinge of electricity zapped her brain. Her brow furrowed, and she placed the bag of chips down. That uncomfortable sensation just now was due to someone breaking her hypnotism technique. She had gone around hypnotizing people into buying egg fried rice once a day, and she even passed them a spirit stone, so they didn’t have to pay for it by themselves. It was a harmless; if anything, it made Boss Smith’s life a bit more difficult, but what else could she do when Boss Smith refused to sell her ten thousand bowls of egg fried rice at once? However, now, someone was trying to interfere with her plans?

Twinge after twinge assaulted Eula’s skull. Although she could only feel a vague sense of direction when she lost connection with someone she hypnotized, she could tell there was more than one person removing her hypnosis. The feeling was coming from all directions except above and below. Perhaps she shouldn’t have used the hypnosis skill so freely. To spread the command even faster, she had hypnotized people and ordered them to hypnotize more people in turn. Perhaps it was a good thing people were being freed from their hypnosis; however, Eula hoped she wouldn’t be isolated as the source of hypnotism. If anything, the people who were curing the citizens would target Boss Smith’s store first.

Eula climbed to her feet. She couldn’t let that happen. If anything happened to Boss Smith, she wouldn’t be able to eat delicious food anymore! She checked her interspacial ring, making sure her life-saving treasures were inside. Then, she thought about Boss Smith’s life-saving treasure, that formidable golem with the whip and the golem with three heads. Eula realized nothing could happen to the chef, so she sat back down and picked up her opened bag of chips. She’d have to send someone to locate Paul, that mysterious bodyguard. She might not have had a golem like Boss Smith, but she could hire Paul with money. If those people who were messing with her hypnotism came looking for her, they’d be in for a rude awakening.

***

Smith Jr. sat down as slowly as he could. After a long day of work, he had finally finished his mission. He had sold ten thousand bowls of egg fried rice to those zombie-like people, and Tutor Golem 3000 actually gave him time to look at the system. It was the first break he had gotten in what felt like years! If he wasn’t working, he was practicing. If he wasn’t practicing, he was busy trying not to die in the arena. If he wasn’t busy trying not to die in the arena, he was sleeping. There was literally no time to do anything else. Even his meals had to be snuck in during his knife practice. He was getting really sick of eating raw sliced radishes. Smith Jr. took in a deep breath, inhaling through his nose and exhaling through his mouth. After releasing the tension in his body, Smith Jr. focused his vision onto the floating text.

[Young martial chef, you have done a good job. It’s an impressive milestone to sell ten thousand bowls of egg fried rice. Revel in your achievements.]

[Mission: Opening Shop Completed]

[Reward: Stinky-Dog’s Potato Chip Recipe]

Smith Jr. stared at the reward. Potato chips, wasn’t that what the vending machine in the dining room sold? There was even a picture of a cute dog on the bags. Now that he knew how to cook the potato chips himself, was the system telling him to put it on the menu when it was already readily available? “System, am I responsible for restocking the vending machine…?” That was the only logical reason he could think of.

[Stinky dog, you ruined my progression system. I knew I was forgetting something when I agreed to let you put that infernal contraption in my store.]

[Just change your reward to salad or something; the ingredients for that are really cheap. Oh! Ramen noodles! You should totally teach him how to make those next.]

[Is the recipe in the marketplace? Never mind, I found it. Two heaven-grade spirit stones for the recipe? That’s pretty cheap.]

[If it was before I had as much money as I do, I’d bite you, but now I can’t help but agree. Maybe I should update my cooking system’s recipes. I’m still using the cheap one made by the god of counterfeits.]

Smith Jr. felt like he read something he shouldn’t have. The text disappeared just as quickly as it appeared, letting him chalk it up to a temporary hallucination caused by overworking. The previous text reappeared with one very conspicuous change.

[Young martial chef, you have done a good job. It’s an impressive milestone to sell ten thousand bowls of egg fried rice. Revel in your achievements.]

[Mission: Opening Shop Completed]

[Reward: Stinky-Dog’s Potato Chip Vremya’s Ramen Noodle Recipe]

Smith Jr. thought about the noodle recipe, and a flood of information struck his brain. Every little detail about creating ramen noodles was engraved on his very being. It felt like he had been making noodles for years. He climbed to his feet, itching to test out the new recipe. Once he mastered the technique, he’d advance in cultivation level. Perhaps reaching the foundation establishment stage in one month wasn’t completely out of reach! As he walked past Tutor Golem 3000 to enter the kitchen, dread filled Smith Jr.’s stomach. He was actually voluntarily entering the kitchen on his own to improve his skills? The golem didn’t even have to make a move? Was his personality altered when he learned how to make noodles!? Cold sweat ran down Smith Jr.’s back, and he froze.

“You’ve learned a new recipe. Go, practice it.”

A metallic hand grasped Smith Jr.’s shoulder and shoved him over the threshold, into the kitchen. Smith Jr. turned his head to see the faceless golem nodding at him. The sight relieved Smith Jr., and he wiped at his forehead with his sleeve. It seemed like his personality hadn’t changed.