Master of the System

The second prince glanced around the restaurant while waiting for his food. It was rare for him to be impressed by any décor, but the interior of this particular store was even more lavishly decorated than the palace. What kind of power was backing this place? It was quite clear that the weakling of a chef wasn’t the true owner. His spies were completely useless. They hadn’t even informed him of this!

Vrrrr!

The second prince froze. Through his peripheral vision, he saw his younger sister had stiffened as well. A wave of killing intent was washing over the whole dining room, and it was coming from the corridor which the chef had entered. The pressure was so strong that it was tangible. The second prince moved his hand, but the motion was slow as if he were stuck under liquid rock. He gritted his teeth and activated the defensive artifact hanging around his neck, and a greenish barrier appeared around his body. Less than a second later, it shattered with a pinging sound.

Heavy footsteps rang out, each thudding sound causing the second prince’s heart to stop. A metallic figure appeared from the end of the corridor, entering the dining room. It was the color of blood, and a strong scent of iron assaulted the second prince’s nostrils. The figure was a golem with three heads and six arms. Each of its hands wielded weapons that could only be described as wicked. They were curved blades with extra tips sticking out of them like thorns on a stem. They weren’t weapons commonly used on the battlefield; no, they were instruments of torture wielded as weapons. There was no doubt in the second prince’s mind. If that creature was coming for him, then he was dead. Even the guardian of the royal family wouldn’t be able to do anything to it.

The golem stopped by the second prince’s side, but he didn’t dare turn his head to meet its gaze. A metallic rumbling came out of its chest, and words that sounded like grating rocks came out of its faceless head. “Loiterers shall be stripped, robbed, tortured, thrown out, and blacklisted.”

“I-I’m not a loiterer,” the second prince said, his voice cracking. Wasn’t the original line stripped, robbed, and thrown out? There wasn’t anything about torture written on the blackboard! “I ordered an egg fried rice and pickled radish.”

The golem gleamed, its body emitting a red light. “Loiterer detected!”

There was a red flash as the golem swung one of its weapons, and Eula let out an ear-piercing scream. To her surprise, her brother screamed at an even higher pitch. There was a clanging sound, and a figure shot out of the second prince’s shadow, slamming into the wall with blood pouring out of all his orifices. The second prince gulped upon realizing he hadn’t died. The golem stepped past him, and he let it through—not that he could’ve done anything. His legs were weaker than jelly; it would’ve been impossible for him to stand much less confront that killing machine.

“Stop!” the bloody figure leaning against the wall said. “I’m the guardian of the second prince!”

“Loiterers shall be stripped!” Red Asura ignored the old man’s words and picked him up by his head with one hand. The golem’s five other hands made quick work of the bodyguard’s clothes, ripping them off with savage glee with the help of its weapons. Its actions were quick, and not even a second had passed since it made contact with the old man.

“Loiterers shall be robbed!” Red Asura frisked the old man, its hands roaming everywhere, searching for any hidden items. The old man screamed as his privacy was violated, but the golem didn’t stop. It retrieved two earrings and one ring, which it put onto the pile of shredded clothes on the floor.

“Loiterers shall be tortured!” Red Asura’s weapons flashed in its hands, and—

“Stop!” Smith Jr. shouted. He was coming from the corridor, holding two small plates with sliced radishes inside of them. The golem froze in place, turning one of its heads to stare at Smith Jr. despite its lack of facial features. “No torturing.”

Red Asura glanced at the blackboard with its third head. Then, all three heads turned to face the trembling bodyguard. “Loiterers shall be thrown out and blacklisted!” There was a shattering sound as the old man was flung through the front window, but moments later, the broken glass repaired itself. The cracks in the dining room wall, and the blood on the floor disappeared as well. It was almost as if the whole scenario hadn’t happened. Red Asura walked to the entrance and opened the door. When the bodyguard raised his head, Red Asura grunted. “Blacklisted members shall be executed upon reentry! Your head will be placed upon a pike outside to be used as a deterrent to future loiterers!”

The bodyguard scrambled away, picking himself up off the ground and running as if his life depended on it. Since when had loitering become a crime worthy of execution? As someone who worked directly under the emperor, he’d definitely address this grievance! However, first, he had to make it back home alive.

The second prince and fourth princess stared as Red Asura closed the door and walked back into the corridor leading to the kitchen. The second prince wanted to pat himself on the back, grateful for not causing any trouble for the restaurant. His bodyguard was an expert with a golden core. He might’ve exhausted all his potential, unable to form a nascent soul, but he was still a formidable fighter. However, the golem of this shop treated him as if he were a chicken ready for slaughter. Was the golem as strong as a nascent soul cultivator? Was it even stronger? The thought horrified second prince, and for the second time, he cursed his spies for being so goddamn useless.

The sound of phlegm drew the second prince’s attention away from his thoughts. The weakling chef was standing by the table, holding two small plates of radishes. Smith Jr. cleared his throat again and placed the plates down. “Your sliced radishes. Your egg fried rice will be done shortly.”

The second prince hesitated, but Eula grabbed her chopsticks and picked up a sliced radish. She put it into her mouth and crunched down. A soft moan that sent shivers down the second prince’s spine came out of Eula’s mouth, and her face flushed pink. The second prince blinked hard and shifted his seat, putting some distance between himself and his sister. What kind of weirdo made those kinds of noises while eating? He didn’t want to be associated with her.

The second prince grabbed his chopsticks and picked up a sliced radish. He brought it close to his nose and gave it a sniff. It was refreshing; all his fears and anxiety melted away like snow in the sun. He was temporarily transported away to a world of flowers and butterflies, all images of the terrifying golem buried in the deepest depths of his mind. Before he even knew it, saliva pooled in his mouth, and the second prince couldn’t hold back any longer. He bit down on the radish, and the most pleasurable feeling he had ever experienced washed over him.

Eula shifted her seat away from her brother. What kind of weirdo made that kind of face while eating pickled radishes? She didn’t want to be associated with him.

“Delicious!” the second prince shouted, saliva flying from his mouth as he did. He stuffed sliced radish after sliced radish into his mouth, grunting like a pig as he ate. By the time he was done, Smith Jr. was returning to their table with two bowls of egg fried rice. The second prince exhaled and nodded at the weakling chef. “I have a proposal for you. Work for me. I’ll pay you the highest salary you’ve ever seen!”

Smith Jr. froze. Honestly, even though the proposal was quite blunt, it was really appealing; after all, what did he have here? A sadistic golem disguised as a tutoring bot. A sadistic golem disguised as the guardian of the store. A sadistic system disguised as a gift from god. Smith Jr. wasn’t an ambitious man. He didn’t need more fancy recipes or fancy cooking techniques. With what he had, he could already become an imperial chef. The choice was obvious!

[Young chef, don’t forget about your debt.]

Smith Jr.’s hopes shattered. He scratched his head upon seeing the expectation plastered all over the prince’s face. “I owe the sect backing me quite a bit of spirit stones…. I can’t switch employers until I pay off my debt.” There wasn’t a sect backing him, but it was the most logical explanation Smith Jr. could give. Who would believe him if he told them there was a system in his mind? No one. They’d send him to the crazy house.

The second prince placed his chopsticks down and puffed his chest out. “Who do you think I am?” he asked. “A small debt like yours, you think I can’t pay it? How much do you owe?”

[Young chef, you owe eighteen thousand spirit stones for the eggs, rice, and radishes used during practice. You owe an additional ten heaven-grade spirit stones for being under the protection of Red Asura—the rate is one heaven-grade spirit stone a day. Lastly, you owe one heaven-grade spirit stone for the Stinky-Dog’s egg-fried-rice recipe, one heaven-grade spirit stone for the Stinky-Dog’s pickled-radish recipe, and one hundred heaven-grade spirit stones for learning Stinky-Dog’s Cooking Technique. The system will be generous and forgo the current interest, but do note that it runs at a 25% APR.]

A wry smile appeared on Smith Jr.’s face. Once someone was deep enough in debt, adding on more debt didn’t even feel like a burden anymore. “I owe the sect around one hundred thirteen heaven-grade spirit stones.”

The second prince was lucky he wasn’t eating anything because he would’ve choked. His jaw dropped open. It took him a second to regain his composure. The whole empire only generated the value of one heaven-grade spirit stone a year. To pay a hundred and thirteen for a chef? The second prince shook his head. “Forget it. I’ll just come to your shop every day. I have a feeling you’ll be working here for a long time….”

Smith Jr. sighed. He knew it was true, but it still hurt to hear someone else say it.

“Don’t worry, Boss,” Eula said. Her face flushed pink. “I’ll be sure to patronize your restaurant every day. Who knows? Maybe you’ll be set free one day.”