Mask of Humanity

Nicolai spent much of the next day in a daze. He performed the usual acts slowly and rote-like. Not even his brief fights with skeletons pulled him out from the fugue.

He knew it was all simulated, that he was just doing a very good job of pretending to have emotions and pretending to care. But, his simulation was increasingly effective, and it was able to have a real effect on him.

Was Harold dead, by now? Somehow, he thought not. Somewhere down in the dark he would be screaming. Nicolai would have liked to do something about that, knew that it was the Right Thing To Do, but there was nothing to be done.

As time passed with him feeling full of his attempt at sadness and dozens of other confusing emotions, he grew tired, and he started to wonder why he was inflicting such misery on himself. What was the purpose? How was it helping?

And, soon enough, he let the simulation fall. He told himself he had done his part, and the experiment had run its course. He had experienced being a human who had a lost a “friend.” With no Harold there was no point in continuing, and now he needed to focus. The pretend emotions faded and dissipated into his consciousness.

He was glad to be rid of them.

The Heart was kept in a bag attached to his hip and it pulsed slowly and constantly. He could feel it urging at him, pressing him to return it, but he ignored the push. Likewise, he ignored the odd, echoing thrum the presence of the heart created inside of him, where his own dark urges, his own madness, seemed to react. The shadows hadn’t stopped writhing since he picked the thing up, and there were whispers ever at the edges of hearing.

I do nothing yet. Not until I finish my Seed.

The Centipede had called Forgotten its father, and if the Centipede was unstoppable and horrific, what would its father look like with the Heart returned? What would he be releasing upon the world?

More importantly, what would he be releasing upon himself?

He’d learned more about Forgotten by examining the Heart.

Heart of Paxolnaz

Paxolnaz, a 9th Circle Demon, invaded the Material as a member of the Unwinder’s host.

The Demon was struck down and torn apart by the Guard during Heaven’s Crusade against the People and the Unwinder. However, instead of being banished, Paxolnaz was trapped within the Great Game, on the world that became Nightmare.

Like all servants of the Unwinder, Paxolnaz seeks to reform itself, and then to free the Unwinder. Ultimately, it wishes to escape and return to the Outside.

A Demon. That didn’t sound good. Forgotten—Paxolnaz—could not be trusted, he’d already known that. But he felt it likely he was going to attempt to deal with it regardless. He needed to become stronger and this seemed his current best route to doing so, not to mention he’d been unable to find any other way to leave the prison in spite of quite some time spent searching. The route he’d come in by was the only way out that he knew of.

He was unsure as to his abilities to kill the Warden that had blocked his escape tunnel. The chains made them dangerous enemies, to the extent he wasn’t sure he could defeat one even if armed with the weapons he’d left in the safe place. Via the Contract he intended to form with the Demon, he hoped to have it solve that problem for him.

Which would be stronger, he wondered; a “9th Circle Demon,” or Heaven and its Contracts? He’d put his money on Heaven. So long as he could work a decent enough Contract, he should be safe. At least he knew what the Demon wanted: freedom from the Game, and to unleash its master.

Regarding that master, Nicolai could only hope it was nowhere near him. Whatever the Unwinder was, he had no desire to ever meet it. Other than that, he didn’t really care. The Demon could do what it liked, so long as it didn’t affect him.

He had spent some time investigating the Heart through other means, but he’d found it frustratingly inert. He had been unable to damage it in his attempts to knock some chips free and his Soul Sense slipped right off of it. Other than by Examining, he’d found no way to interact with it. The one exception to this was that the darkness inside of him swelled slightly when he focused on the Heart, but this did not seem a good thing, to Nicolai.

Still, it was a curious item and with time permitting, he would have liked to hold onto it so as to try and work out exactly what it was and to see if it could be of use to him. But, given his current situation stuck in the prisons, his need to get his band off, and his drive to gain as much information about this world as possible, he had decided that simply returning it to Paxolnaz for the Quest reward and whatever else he could extract in repayment was his current best route.

###

Nicolai checked his progress as he tramped after the latest group of skeletons.

User Interface 376 | Player #53,217

- Cultivation

> Seed Progress

Soul: 99%

Oma: 99%

He stared at the glittering numbers carved from golden light. He was almost there. Simply looking at the numbers put a great big smile on his face. Hefting his pickaxe, he walked towards the skeletons, his steps firming. He knew that he was safe to get it to one-hundred percent. The reason for this was that as it had drawn closer to the final number, he had sensed his Seed coming more and more awake and alive. It had been pressing on his mind, sending its desires into him.

It was asking, or perhaps demanding, permission. It transpired that he didn’t need to get it all the way to one-hundred percent, ninety was close enough. He’d sensed when connecting to it that he only needed to move it to his chest, and loosen the reins of control he held it under, and it would get to work. It was extremely eager to do so. But, so long as he avoided granting that permission, it could only wait.

So far as he could tell, getting his Seed to one-hundred-percent wouldn’t change that. The sense of permission was an implacable thing, a kind of rule within it. Even if the Seed became stronger at a hundred, still the rule would remain.

This had come as a relief to Nicolai as he’d had some anxieties on the matter. Now, he was sure that even after getting it to one-hundred, he could delay the actual integration process until he’d gotten the band off his neck.

He swung the pick and smashed a skull and the first skeleton fell and he scooped its soul with the trap in a continuation of motion. Then he swung for the next, caught its soul too, then the next and the next and the next and he stood there amidst the broken bones, watching his Seed eat the congealed blue liquid in the Soul Trap.

He fed it the Oma in the walls and the light in his Seed began twisting and turning, pulsing in time with his heartbeat as he held it on his palm.

His Mark activated by itself.

User Interface 376 | Player #53,217

- Cultivation

> Seed Progress

Soul: 100%

Oma: 100%

> Performing bonding Check…

There came a flicker of golden light from his Mark, pressing over his Seed, checking it, then the words continued, spitting out one final pair of sentences.

Seed complete and bonded.

Place your Seed against your chest and connect with it to begin integration.

Nicolai slowed his breathing. After so long, he’d actually done it. He could hardly believe it. His Seed was squirming in his hands and he felt its desires stronger than ever, eager to begin.

Not yet, he thought at it, I can’t. He did his best to ignore the rage he felt from it at that, a familiar rage, and he placed it into his mouth and bid it to be still. He understood, now, after growing it so, and spending so much time connected to it. It was the Seed of his Soul, which promised to be just as fractured as the rest of him.

He would have liked nothing more than to integrate his Seed and become a Cultivator in truth. Unfortunately, there was a major problem on that front.

The band around his neck. A band that was designed to trap and control Cultivators. A band which did nothing to him for, so far as he could tell, only one reason: he wasn’t a Cultivator.

But with the Seed integrated, he would be. What then? Maybe nothing, maybe it needed to be tapped by the zombie with the rod again to activate, and he would be fine.

But if not, the band would go from being a piece of harmless metal that if anything, benefited him by allowing him to move around the prison without attracting the ire of the undead, to something that would restrict him and force him to work in the mines as a prisoner for real.

Nicolai left the tunnels and began heading up the slope of the pit, curving his way towards the top. This day had been coming for some time and he’d been thinking on what he would do for much of that time. There was only really one step available to him. He took the time to stash a few more Oma crystals into the stockpile he’d been building as he passed by. There were now three bags of roughly hewn crystals in the crevice.

In the prisons he hid the Heart in a cell as he passed by, then continued to a specific cell, the one near his exit. After silently climbing the stairs he looked to where the tunnel had been, where the Warden had taken up residence. The Warden was still there, but it no longer stood in the tunnel.

The tunnel had been filled in with freshly mortared brick. When did it do that? Peering around a corner, he frowned at the chain-wrapped zombie, which was sitting there all relaxed, its long legs dangling off the balcony. He experienced a combination of confusion and perturbation at the competence shown by this particular undead.

He crept, careful and slow, and it didn’t look at him or appear to notice as he sidled into the cell, which was some distance from it. It shouldn’t be able to hear, if he was quiet.

‘Back again,’ said the corpse, or at least a voice that emanated from the corpse.

‘Not too loud,’ he hissed, ‘there’s a Warden outside.’

A dark chuckle rose. ‘It won’t do anything. Not yet. Not until it’s too late.’

Nicolai narrowed his eyes at the dark corner. ‘I know your real name, now. Hello, Paxolnaz,’ Nicolai greeted the corpse, the Demon.

‘Oh? You’ve found my Heart. Where is it? I don’t feel it.’

‘It’s time to work out a Contract between us,’ said Nicolai. ‘I’ll bring your Heart here once we come to an agreement.’

The corpse chuckled, and the laughter reminded him of the Centipede.

‘What do you know about the Centipede?’ he asked, the words pulled from him as he gazed at the corpse that had called itself Forgotten.

‘Centipede?’

‘A huge, insectile creature with many legs. It roams around the pit area. It called you father.’

‘Ah. Good. They remember me still. Did it help you?’

‘No. It killed a friend of mine.’

‘Ah. This was… upsetting?’

Nicolai thought on that, then recalled the feelings of his simulation of humanity, did his best to reform it. ‘Yes,’ he said.

‘And yet, here you are. I understand. The death of your friend deserves some repayment, yes? I will give you good terms.’

Nicolai frowned, his half-formed simulation uncertain. He did want good terms. What had happened had happened and couldn’t be turned back. He might as well get as much as he could, now. Was that fine? Would Harold mind? Do I care?

‘What do you want, human? What is a fitting trade? I want my Heart. Heaven will give you some toy for completing my quest, because it is bound to do so. But I can provide help myself. I imagine you want the slaved soul—the Warden, as you call it—lurking outside this cell, and the little wall it built, removed. What else?’

What did he want? He was tired of scrounging and struggling. He wanted power and he wanted it fast. He wanted to integrate his Seed which meant he needed to get his band off. Above these simple, immediate goals, he had another.

Nicolai wanted to find the Lizard, complete the vague and ill-defined mission the great eye had set him, which beckoned to him from imagined visions of far off future places. He wasn’t sure what, if any, benefits finding the Lizard would bring. But he wanted to try all the same, just to see where it led him, just because it gave him a purpose.

‘I want a way to get stronger quickly, that doesn’t involve tying myself to anyone or changing who I am. I want this band removed from my neck. I want to ensure you won’t rip me to pieces as soon as you’ve recovered. In fact, I want a guarantee that you will never harm me.’ He paused, considering that, and thinking on what else he wanted kept safe. Kleos couldn’t be harmed, or else he’d die. ‘A guarantee you will never harm me, nor any dependants or allies of mine,’ he clarified. ‘I want information, about this world, about Heaven. I want to find the Lizard—have you heard of the Lizard?’

Paxolnaz took in all of this quietly, until Nicolai’s last word. ‘The Lizard is here?’ replied Paxolnaz immediately, and it said the title like it knew it, said it with a degree of surprise and something else. Wariness?

Nicolai’s eyes widened. He’d been asking this question to each native of this world almost by rote, and only now, at last, did one recognise it.

‘What do you know of the Lizard?’ Nicolai asked the corpse, working hard to keep his face blank and conceal his eagerness.

‘What do you know of the Lizard?’

‘You first.’

There was a little chuff of laughter. ‘We can put all that in the Contract. Let us set the terms.’

‘Fine.’

They spoke at length. Paxolnaz seemed far more used to Contracts than Kleos, and worse still, more experienced with them than Nicolai; at least with Heaven’s version of a Contract.

As they argued, Nicolai attempted to dig out any details on the Lizard he could, but Paxolnaz held its cards close. All he learned was that Paxolnaz held some kind of animosity towards the Lizard.

‘I would be willing to provide far more help, but if you want me to help you find the Lizard… then, no. Unless, you are willing to forgo the Lizard. Why do you even want to find him? Who told you about him?’

‘I’m not telling you that.’ Nicolai eyed the corpse. How important was this to him? Surprisingly, he found that it was important. Very important. It was the only real direction he had in this world. Find the Lizard, that’s what the eye had said. Why? He didn’t know. But he wanted to.

‘Just know this,’ he began, ‘finding the Lizard is not up for debate. I am going to find him, and you are going to help me. Otherwise, we won’t be coming to an agreement.’

‘I have waited a long time, human,’ spoke Paxolnaz in an ominous tone. ‘Do you think I fear waiting longer still?’

‘The Centipede said it was time you returned. It sounded to me like your presence is needed, but I suppose it’s up to you. Help me find the Lizard, or stay there.’

‘Why is it so important to you?’

Nicolai frowned at the corpse. ‘I told you, this isn’t up to debate.’

‘Then that is the only question I will answer. I will provide you a route to grow stronger and remove your band, I will break the wall, and I will not harm you, nor any friends of yours, once I am restored. But I will provide you no more information than the location of the Lizard.’

Nicolai stared silently at the corpse. There were many more questions he’d intended to ask. Most pressingly he’d wanted specific details about the Lizard, about Heaven, about the Nightmare, about the best moves he could make, and had squeezed the concession that it would answer ten questions truthfully for him once he returned its Heart. It was taking that off the table, all because he demanded the location of the Lizard. He didn’t think it was bluffing, either.

It was a crying shame he’d mentioned the Lizard so early on, as he had the impression it would’ve been less engaged otherwise, more willing to let something slip. He soothed himself with the knowledge that he’d had no way of knowing the demon would have such animosity to the Lizard. It was the first time he’d even encountered a being that even recognised the title. If he ever found himself setting up a similar Contract with someone in the future, he decided that he would keep any such information to himself before setting it up. Contract first; bring up the Lizard after.

As it was, he could only agree to Paxolnaz’s terms. ‘So be it,’ he said. The more the corpse protested, the more he wanted to find the Lizard.

There came a faint noise of disgust. ‘Fine. But allow me to give you another option. When you find him, you should kill him. The Lizard is a whirlpool, a magnet which attracts only death. He will drag you down with him. Unless you kill him yourself.’

‘I’ll consider it,’ Nicolai said, while behind the mask that was his face he thought: I’ll be making my own decisions, Demon. If they made the Contract as he intended, the Demon, who did not currently know the whereabouts of the Lizard, would have to go out and use whatever means it possessed to locate the Lizard, and then return to him within thirty days to provide that information. The Demon seemed very confident that it would be capable of divining this location, which pleased Nicolai greatly. He had no desire to kill the Lizard, at least not right now. He was deeply curious as to who the Lizard was and what they represented.

The time had come to finalise the last few details. Nicolai would have dearly loved to force or trick Paxolnaz into a far different agreement. One where he was the master and it the slave. But that was impossible, when it was so difficult to get it budge an inch on a matter like giving him the location of the Lizard.

With the Demon stuck in its cell, and he holding its heart, he’d hoped to have some serious leverage over it. He’d even threatened that if it didn’t agree, he would destroy its Heart.

But Paxolnaz was not afraid. It had simply laughed, and said: ‘Try.’

From its reaction, he had the impression that its Heart could not be destroyed, at least not in any permanent fashion. This matched up with his earlier tests and also made wider sense. If Paxolnaz could be permanently killed, then why had those who defeated it long ago stuck it in this cell and cut its Heart out? That seemed quite a roundabout method of putting it down. Presumably, if they’d been able to simply smash its Heart into pieces, they would have done so.

He had also come to the conclusion that the Demon was willing to remain trapped, if necessary. It had a bottom line and it would not be pushed over that line. This made it very difficult to negotiate with, as ultimately Nicolai had serious need for what it could offer him; information, resources, and a way out of the prison. He needed what it offered, more than it needed what he offered.

As they discussed, Nicolai worked on the wording as much as he could, putting all of his legal and contractual experience into use. He was reasonably sure he was covering everything. But even so, for possibly the first time in his new life, he found himself wishing the Legal Module was with him.