Marvel’s Most Normal Man: Just Let Me Make Coffee!

Chapter 10: "Tony Stark Walks into a Café… and Walks Right Out"

I was halfway through making a latte when the door swung open and in walked none other than Tony Stark.

Billionaire. Genius. Philanthropist. And, apparently, a guy who thought sunglasses indoors made him look cool.

He strolled in like he owned the place, took one look around, and nodded to himself. "Alright. Not the weirdest place I've been to."

I sighed. "If you're here to complain about the Wi-Fi, get in line."

Tony smirked, stepping up to the counter. "Nah, just heard through the grapevine that something weird was going on here."

Loki, still lounging in his seat, chuckled. "Weird is an understatement."

Thor grunted. "It is a place of great… inconvenience."

Tony glanced at Thor, then at Mjolnir lying uselessly on the floor. "Huh. So the hammer thing wasn't just you getting out of shape."

Thor scowled. "I am not out of shape."

Tony ignored him and turned to me. "So, what's your deal?"

I blinked. "Uh… I make coffee?"

Tony raised an eyebrow. "Yeah? And you also make gods and wizards completely useless."

Strange, still sulking at his table, muttered, "It's infuriating."

Tony smirked. "Cool. Let's test it."

Before I could protest, he tapped the side of his glasses. "Friday, activate—"

Nothing happened.

He frowned. "Friday?"

Silence.

He tapped his earpiece. "Jarvis? Karen? Anyone?"

Loki snickered. "Oh, this is rich."

Tony slowly turned toward me. "Okay. Either I just lost billions in tech, or something's messing with my suit."

I shrugged. "Maybe it's just out of battery?"

Tony narrowed his eyes. "I run on an arc reactor. No such thing as out of battery."

I slid a coffee cup toward him. "Well, while you figure it out, want a cappuccino?"

Tony exhaled, rubbing his temples. "You know what? Yeah. Maybe I just need caffeine."

He grabbed the cup, took a sip, and nodded. "Okay. This is good coffee."

Then he took a slow step backward, watching for any change. Another step. Then another. The moment he reached the doorway—

Beep!

His suit's HUD flickered to life.

He blinked, checking his diagnostics. "What the—"

Then, with an experimental tap, he activated his repulsors.

WHOOOSH!

A burst of energy sent him flying up a few feet before he caught himself. He hovered in place, staring between me and the café. "Oh, that is so messed up."

Loki grinned. "We know."

Tony hovered for a second longer before lowering back down. He pointed at me. "I will figure this out."

I waved. "Good luck with that."

Tony frowned, hesitated, then downed the rest of his coffee. "Alright. Keep the mystery. But I'm putting a tracker on this place."

He stepped outside, fully powered up again, and blasted off into the sky.

I turned back to my customers. "Anyone else want to test their luck today?"

Strange sighed. "I hate this place."

Hela smirked. "And yet, you keep coming back."